I don't think pointing out that some women did this to themselves when they could have, I don't know, done literally anything else with their life is the equivalent of putting the blame on women or absolving men. And if women can't self critique and understand how we are culpable in our own oppression, we will never be able to fight it.
Women's tendency to "see the good in men" is mostly rationalizing away their shitty traits in order to be able to accept them as a partner. Most humans - male and female - are afraid of being alone, but also afraid of taking chances with high stakes. That's why people ending up in relationships with someone they've 'settled' for, rather than someone they really desired, is such a prevalent stereotype.
A lot of middle class women who walk willingly into the trap of motherhood do so because they feel bored and all their friends are doing it. It's conformity and, in a way, laziness.
Two of my closest female friends had kids for that exact reason and regretted it after. They also told me I am the only person they've admitted this to. I see them, in front of everyone else, play the Happy Good Mommy For Whom Childbirth Was The Greatest Day Of Their Life.
I would be happy for them if THEY were happy, but they aren't. They're exhausted and they're not allowed to express their true feelings or they'll be labeled monsters and Bad Mothers. They'll keep their mouths shut and keep going through the motions for the next two decades.
And being socialized to not worry about the ability of males as partners to actually act as supportive partners and parents is just another example of how we allow ourselves to be exploited willingly. Women SHOULD care if a man qualifies as a "subpar male" if they want to have a family with him. Does he make very little money and have low self esteem? He's DEFINITELY going to be a shit father.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.