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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 119814[Reply]

My best friend admitted that she took advantage of an underage girl. And I don't know why the fuck she told me that when she knows damn well that I'm a victim of abuse too. I went to her every time I felt violated and worthless and somehow she always cheered me up when she did the same thing to someone else? I don't get it. I hate her and I feel like I should make her life miserable, but also every time she talks to me I feel like I'm staring right in front of my rapist.

Anonymous 119818

Leave. You feel unsafe around her for good reason.



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Anonymous 118981[Reply]

Why do many people who offer social skills advice act as if simply listening and asking questions is the right way to go?

A good connection happens very naturally between people making a genuine effort to understand eachother. You can't just ask questions like a job interview, otherwise it's totally one-sided and there is not really a connection. If they only talk about themselves and don't care about you, then you should just walk away.

Anonymous 119761

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I do this to try and get to know people and their social lives a little better. Mostly coworkers by asking them what they like to do on their days off.

Anonymous 119770

I kinda have an issue with that, I fail to 'connect' with someone, but my questions are so good they usually start opening up about very personal stuff with me. I've found stuff about people that they haven't said to their family or long-time friends after just talking to them for a bit.

It's a bit frustrating. At some point I get bored but I just keep asking well-placed questions and they're loving it, completely letting it all out. Like g'damn, shut up lol.

Anonymous 119792

I think its a good strategy but its a lot of work. if you keep asking people about them, eventually someones going to wanna talk to you also.

Anonymous 119803

>>119770
This is so funny, I don't get my moids have such a problem listening without cutting in every second with answers! like dude just shut up and listen.



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How can I 'fix' my life? Anonymous 118867[Reply]

I don't want to work and times I feel like being productive, I still end up doing the same thing every day; being online either browsing the web or playing games.
I stay up late and have tried changing my sleep schedule, and it stills ends up being the same. I heard those already with mental illness are more prone to being online a lot, like an addiction. I don't have the money for therapy, so I just have to find the will to do basic tasks and take care of myself, but don't know how.
I know the typical answer is to just "remove yourself from your devices and put yourself in a better environment" but I don't quite understand why I can't do something as simple as that. If you've ever been stuck in this kind of lifestyle and mindset, as severe as mine is or just for a short while, please help. I need your honest advice but also serious answers.

Anonymous 118868

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you're struggling to do something as simple as that because it's not simple. your online habits are probably filling an emotional need, so if you try to stop suddenly, it's like you're trying to walk on a broken leg without support. if you want to get off the crutches, you'll have to heal the wound. it might be worth introspecting about what you get out of being online. is it companionship? distraction? attention? solitude? security? if you're like me, it's probably all of the above.

the way you/we get out of it, as far as I can tell, is deciding to be someone who fills her needs in a healthier way. someone who loves herself enough that she'll brave the discomfort of change, knowing she deserves the better life that comes after. sometimes I imagine my ideal Nona, and try to really step into her mindset and do what she would do, even if it's something small like not skipping daily self-care. sometimes it even works.

Anonymous 118871

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I've been in this situation. I haven't left my house for a year,
I didn't see anyone other than my parents, my brother and our cat, long before of the pandemic. Today I'm studying for a university entrance exam, and I work at a job that's kinda crap, but at least I don't spend the whole day at home and have my own pocket money. There is no magic solution, you need to make an effort and create small rituals to create discipline; I just got tired of my situation, I couldn't bear to live like that anymore.
I started by just taking a shower when I wake up in the morning, tidy up my bed and exercising also helped a lot,
you need to set small and simple goals, do it little by little, every day. Another thing is to give daily updates right here on
CC, I think it can help you monitor your own evolution.
On the issue of work: I don't like working either, but I also don't like asking anyone for money; I'm trying to find a way to make money without being a wagie, but I think it can be very bad for you not to have your own money, even if is not a lot.
As for being online all day: what do you usually see on the internet? Are you really having fun? Because I used to waste a lot of time doom scrolling on social media often seeing only things that I didn't even like, maybe you are in the same situation.

Anyway, don't forget to update the thread, keep telling us how you feel about what you've been able to do,
perhaps more people will appear in a similar situation who are also tired of this

Anonymous 119791

>>119788
good job! academic work is way more effort than other things. you should try getting your blood checked. low iron or vitamin d is common in women and could be why you don't have a lot of energy.

Anonymous 119797

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>>119795
you seem really sweet. i'm in college too and I think its more work than people give students credit for. i'm glad you seem to be doing better.



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How much do i tip? Anonymous 119524[Reply]

I went to a hair salon and got my hair done for $350 and I tipped $70 but I was unhappy with it (it just wasn't what I asked for) so I went back for the free adjustment they offer and got my hair finished. it looks much better but still a bit uneven

How do I know how much to tip for the adjustment part?

Anonymous 119679

That's more than my rent

Anonymous 119720

>>119524
Where the fuck do you live if the tip alone is 70 bucks? In my country getting hair done costs like 15$



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how to tell if a guy likes you? Anonymous 119711[Reply]

hi nonas! i''ve been friends with a guy (lets call him david) for around 2/3 months and we've become pretty close in that time. david's good friends with the brother of one of my friends, which is how we both met. my friend (mentioned above) often jokes about how david's my boyfriend. i also have other friends who joke about the possibility of the two of us being in a relationship. i see him everyday at school, while also texting him throughout the day (mostly after school). we've also hung out outside of school a few times. when we first started talking, it was the beginning on christmas break and we texted for literally the entire day for the entire week. sometimes we call, which usually lasts for about an hour or more (the most recent time was last night). he's told me a lot about himself, and his life. according to him, i am one of the 2 friends that he has. i actually DMed my friend's brother and asked him if it was normal for David to be as talkative as he was, and he told me that david isn't usually very talkative, and that it's not normal for him to talk to me as much as we do. i have also told him a lot about myself, and he often makes jokes about me being a NEET/femcel.

i've been getting a bit of an inkling that he might like me because of how much we talk. there's no overt flirting. the only things i can think of as flirting are realistically just me reading too much into jokes about his "rizz". according to my friend's brother, he would never be the one to confess first. he's also really nice to me in general. once, a friend suggested that i ask him for money as a joke. i did, and when he texted me back he asked me how much i needed, followed up by him saying that the answer was probably no, and then asking what the money was for. also, whenever he says something that he thinks has offended me, david immediately apologizes.

okay so, the most important part that's kind of where i'm the most hung up about this whole thing… i wouldn't consider myself attractive. i'm not like,,, ugly i guess. but i'm short and fat and it makes me feel like a bit of a creep for thinking that he likes me. david isn't like… a chad i guess (not that that really matters to me tbh) but he's definitely not unattractive. he's a pretty normal looking guy, i guess, but i find him pretty cute. maybe i'm a bit insecure because of my weight but it's not like he minds? he's made a few fat jokes about me in the past and then immediately apologized Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 119716

Your friends know you and him better than we do, and it sounds like they think you're interested in eachother. Why not try to hang out one on one?



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sooo… I farted in front of my 3 year boyfriend Anonymous 118617[Reply]

…in my sleep nonetheless. When he openly lets it rip in front of me in the day and night. The next day he let me know, acting like he’s bringing it up randomly as a joke. He followed it up by claiming that “I shouldn’t worry about it” but he would prefer if I didn’t (as if I have control over it when I’m passed out). I’m at a loss of words because I legitimately thought this man was in love with me and this feels very distinctly not like love. Am I overreacting?
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119549

Does he also expects you not to shit too? Farting is such a non issue unless you sit on his face and give him pinkeye.
He’s childish, eat some chipotle , fart and break up.

Anonymous 119550

>>119549
Not that you have to be happy about funky smells, but recognizing it as a natural body phenomenon is …the bare minimum? Everyone farts, I fart at least three times a day.
Anyway I think that men like your bf over idealize women into these “pure beings” and end up disappointed when they don’t live up to it. But maybe I’m schizo and overblowing the whole thing.

Anonymous 119642

Starting conversations can be tough, especially when you're shy or feel awkward. One strategy is to start small. Try saying hello and asking how someone's day is going. You can also find common ground to talk about, like a shared interest or hobby.

Anonymous 119667

he sounds like a retarded faggot. he should be reveling in any aroma you produce

Anonymous 119710

If he’s not mature enough to handle a natural bodily function he’s probably not mature enough to date you.



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No lifetime people Anonymous 113228[Reply]

It’s been coming up more that I just have…no one to really talk to. The internet and colleagues are great for directed conversations about specific topics, which is all you need most of the time. But if something good happens or I’m proud, or something bad happens, there’s…nobody. For normal people even if they don’t have friends or a therapist or a fucker they have family. Or if they don’t have family they have old, old friends. They have “lifetime people”. Even if they haven’t talked in years, if they really need to they have someone that knows them. There’s no replicating this if you missed the various dice rolls to get lifetime people. By late 20s/early 30s, it’s done. Everyone you build a relationship already has lifetime people, and those lifetime people will always be more real to them than you. You are just an episodic person for them, relatively speaking. There are little support forums where someone will essentially roleplay as one of your lifetime people, but that’s like eating wax fruit. There’s no fixing it. There’s nothing and no one. Forever.
10 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119094

>>113228
Only way to keep or make someone a lifetime person if the constantly remind them you exist at all. I have just accepted having to initiate everything though.

Anonymous 119492

>>113253
Seconded. Many parts of the Internet (and presumably here, too, to an extent) are just littered with young people. None of us exactly know what we are doing, and have maybe two decades of experience, a lot of which was spent figuring out what the fuck life is.

Anonymous 119506

This might sound self centered, but nothing makes me realize my lack of social support quite like reading elderly relatives obituaries, and comments from those who miss them, who share memories about them. Like theyve known each other decades, and they have accomplishments and events they hung out at. I never got to hang out with any relatives except for a handful of times as a child. It made me very happy when we did. But even then, I could feel their disdain for myself and my parents. A relative called my siblings and I mutts as a "joke" just for being of different European heritage backgrounds, Ig just to show that I will never truly be considered family by my literal relatives.

I cant help but compare these elderly peoples fulfilled lives, to my pathetic self who is friendless with no idea what career I want to do, dread for the future as it is increasingly more expensive and dangerous for women, and Im the black sheep child in my only immediate family so…Except for my now deceased pets, Im nobodies "number 1" person. For example, mom was worried that if my 40 year old brother, her fave child, went with dad on a work trip, dad would abandon him there. Then she turned to me and said, "cant you go instead?". Another time, mom said its a burden to bring me to a medical appointment, and other stuff that she would NEVER say or do to her son the golden child. Constant reminders that if I die, the only people I have in my life will be fine, hurts.

I keep hearing that women are going 4B and such, but it doesnt feel like it. Im just about the only classmate out of my graduating year that has done so, all others have husbands, families, their own houses, and careers…I have none of that.

I used to look forward to each year thinking Ill change my life around for the better, this will be my year, but no matter what I do it never happens. So ironically OP, youre not alone, not everyone has lifetime people, or at least lifetime people who truly value you. Thank you for bringing attention to us non social butterfly women. We need representation and love too.

Anonymous 119681

>>119660
ATAYRT, I think 4B means no dating, no marriage, no kids, no intimacy, period. Yeah I hear one thing, that women are increasingly separating from men in every sphere of life, yet Ive never come across this. Was wondering if it was just me or not. I dont know where these other based moid hating women are IRL. Even women that are not traitors/not pickmes, doesnt even have to be 4B, would be nice to come across IRL.

Anonymous 119684

>>119683
As for 4B media, sites like this and lc, and random youtubers that I come across like life with melonie (okay, needs more man hate tho), and manifestelle (so-so, earlier vids were better, but I didnt like that she supports lavender marriage and called a tranny a woman). I want to find better youtubers/4b media but havent yet. Im not looking for lesbian content either, just regular uplifting stuff or content exposing moid psychology.

Same, Im a loner too, but moids just sound like a lot of stress or worse. Of course romance with a man would be nice, but until it happens, I might as well believe its impossible for men to actually love a woman, without viewing her as an appliance or thing to use. Ive seen so many horror stories about being in a relationship/married, and so many admissions of men hating their supposed loved ones, Im very blackpilled. Its kinda a depressing road to be on, but moids are too potentially dangerous to be blissfully ignorant on, yk?



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Anonymous 119358[Reply]

i'm such a sore loser i always act like a baby when i lose. yesterday i played a card game with my bf and 2 friends i lost every round. yes it was my first time playing it but i wanted to fucking cry.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119391

Ok go ask him to kiss it better or whatever damn

Anonymous 119495

lolllllllllllllllllll??????????????????

Anonymous 119501

have you tried winning instead

Anonymous 119511

You have low self-esteem nona, talk to a professional

Anonymous 119666

im similar. this is why you have to specialize and become autistically good at a game and be in the top 0.1% of players so hardly anyone can ever beat you



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I wish it was 2016. Anonymous 119669[Reply]

Or just any time between my birth year and 2016, honestly.

So, something weird happened to me at New Year's Eve.

I had been awake earlier than I wanted to (about 4 AM?). And stayed down with my eyes closed but I felt as if I was in 2016.

Yes, I know it sounds schizo. But I felt like I was that terminally online teen who was obsessed with Dangan Ronpa and Melanie Martinez again.

And it was a genuinely nice moment. Now, as an adult, I try my best to move forward– I have no other choice but to.

But damn, since then it seems as if my brain is unable to move on.

I wish I can awaken back in my home state to my DanganRonpa RP friends spewing their usual brainrot but also I want to make the most of my time and learn that cool skill or three, et cetera.

Anonymous 119671

Damn, zoomers out here really acting nostalgic for 2016 of all fucking years. I always felt the world went to shit like a decade before that, and 2016 was like the final nail in the coffin of everything being fucking insufferable.



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Mentally unstable thread Anonymous 119651[Reply]

I keep ruining relations due to mental health.
I have 1 friend who I can talk to, but I don't like to burden them with my problems.

I had a decent bf, he did the dishes for me, showed me off, bought me gifts, had a stable job, good relationship with his family, etc. But due to my mental illness, I accused him of cheating with no proof - just based off a hunch. We broke up a few times but this time it feels final.
He's no longer the adoring man he once was, but now I'm lucky to hear from him once a day. I know my outbursts changed his opinion on me.

To make this post less about a moid, I also have a turbulent relationship with my mom. I don't see her often but when I do we eventually get on each other's nerves and end up bickering.

I feel like I'm drowning in my own mind, but anyone that tries to save me gets pulled under.

Anonymous 119653

Wow, that sucks. It sounds like you're going to have to take this L and pick yourself back up going forward. Try to be more trusting of people in the future. Good luck out there.



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