/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I think its honestly due to technology or smartphones. Nobody seems to ever want to communicate anymore other than with just their inner circle of friends. I am not an awkward person, but even the friendships I do make don't last long not because I am not trying, they just stop making the effort to communicate or even link up.

>>119277
Do you mean real life friends or just discord friends?

>>119279

i think this is probably the case too… it seems like no one really cares to get to know anyone anymore it feels like whenever i meet new people i cant even expect to talk to them anymore past that even if were considered “friends” everything just feels so fake

>>119280
either or i just wanna be able to talk to people about anything really :(

>>119277
I'd say the best way to make good friends is too find an obscure community for, well, anything really and be active on it, even if they tend to be full of weirdos. I used to be really really awkward socially growing up, I then joined the community for a game that no longer exists in principle and found friends that'll last me a lifetime.

>>119516
OP HERE… I’m not even a people-person— I’m so over, ladies.

I'm not a people person either, but I love teaching and working with kids. I didn't like it at first, it grew on me once I had cultivated the right skills. But it's definitely not for everyone
. How far into your program are you?

I've watched hundreds of videos on teachers talking about quitting.

I don't think it's worth it. Low pay, almost dead end and the kids are getting increasingly psychopathic and narcissistic. The administrative policies are "mechanisms of anxiety" as Mark Fisher puts it 10 years ago. They exist not for the welfare of the students or the welfare of the teachers, but to appease external agencies, media and the general population. You'll realize that you spend maybe 20% of your actual work hours in class while the rest of it is just preparation, paperwork, interacting with parents, navigating the administration (politics) and self-reporting.

me too but 26 T-T

>>119532
Didnt drop out but just barely managed to get a meme degree after almost a decade. I kept avoiding the upper year classes as they required presentations for like 3 hours, plus changing classes due to being indecisive about my major. Im not smart enough for STEM. Im in my 30s, but I still dont know what I want to do in life. I almost want to work with animals, I just dont think I could deal with ending their lives or seeing them in pain. But I want to help them..OTOH, my own pets were the hardest losses Ive ever experienced. So maybe a diff career choice would be wise, something not involving social interaction or night hours due to creepy moids. Idk.

I dropped out too and it turned out okay in the end. Got a comfy WFH job now and I didn't need a degree to get it.

>>119546
which job share the secret pls pls

>>119547
Local government in the UK, I arrange meetings, take minutes, put reports on the website.
It's very chill, and since we started remote meetings in covid nobody wants to go back to the office so I've been able to stay home.
My top tip is just to get into a big organisation with an internal jobs board, because they'll usually only advertise the comfy WFH jobs internally.

i hope you're ok anon :(

in front of my father while he's drunk sitting in his recliner. i love him but he drives me up the wall sometimes and its just an intrusive thought ill never act on. i hope youre okay though OP

Where no one would find me, I'm already a waste of oxygen so I don't want my family to waste any money paying for funerary services or any of that

>>116297
>supplements
ISHYGalsDDT

Is it possible to stop thinking about society's opinion of lesbians? There is a tendency in science to constantly say that lesbians can feel attracted to men. Gender obsession in the LGBT community is a new form of internal homophobia. Society has never taken lesbians seriously. The Normies will say that you just haven't met a good guy. Political lesbians will disguise friendship for lesbianism by spreading lesbophobic myths. When men carry out gene modifications, men will destroy lesbians. Were lesbians happy ever? First there was the influence of forced heterosexuality, now "you should be attracted to mtf" and gaslighting from scientists and "feminists".Gays can be proud, no one bothers them. Scientists say that MEN ARE REAL GAYS, THEY CAN'T CHANGE. How to stop feeling disgusted with yourself?

Do you have any dating tips/etiquette, online or not? I am autistic and have no frame of reference when it comes to romantic relationships with other women, and people online don't talk about dating all that much, so I am a complete noob.

I want to date a woman already. It’s been years (since COVID) and I have been daydreaming about love and who the next “she” would be;; her personality, appearance, et cetera.

But I’m not cute enough for the bi (and maybe les? But tbh I think those are spicy straights) on dating apps. And if I seem attractive IRL, then that probably disappears once it’s made obvious that I’m so damn socially awkward.

And also I’m just unaware of if I’m interacting with another bi/les woman.

I’m so lonely. I really want to share my life but I’m stuck with yearning. It seems as if I’m no woman’s type!

>>119562

Also OP of this post, I struggle with internalized racism and homophobia, as well. I’ve heard that people can sense things like confidence and insecurity so I wonder if I’m sending a vibe that’s just overbearingly negative and I don’t even know it.

This is something I have also been working on.
When people say no or give you a neutral answer, does all the stuff that you get anxious about happen? Do you cause a scene? No.
Most sane people will not take a no or you saying your opinion or giving input as something to make a scene over, or dislike you for it. Keep in mind, the people who like people pleasing like low self esteem women for the wrong reasons and like doormats. Those are not the kind of people that should be pleased! Being assertive and honest is not obnoxious or rude. You can still be kind and pleasant and sweet and polite while having boundaries and stating your opinions and giving input and being honest!

I have good assertiveness days, and bad assertiveness days. If I feel worn down by constant moid harassment, or if I wake up and randomly start thinking of the nagging memories of said harassment, I dont feel the energy necessary to be assertive and on guard. I feel like I need to just go with the flow to get people to STFU and get out of my way, so to speak.

For example, yesterday my brother brushed off the snow off the family vehicle he finally let me use even tho he has his own 2. I thought wow thats nice of him. Then he hit me with, "Theres still the trashbag of dog crap in the trunk, could you get it out?" He could have done it, but I know Id catch flack from him and mom for saying this or refusing, so I just said yeah. It felt like Im on autopilot to just say yes to peoples requests. Ugh Im such a coward.

Another factor is that peoples boundary violations catch me off guard. Im a little slow at thinking of responses, or how to socially navigate a situation where I dont have the upper hand. So even if I immediately give in, I usually seethe about it for a while after until I think of a way to "correct" the boundary violation, ie. thinking of how to word something so that I retract my original "yes Ill do xyz" response.

Wish I wasnt such a people pleaser. But there are times I finally learned to say no, as a complete sentence, no less. Its just something I have to relearn daily and be conscious of.

>>118904
>I constantly do things and look up for others wellbeing, opinions, feelings or anything for avoiding conflict and just trying to get along and feeling accepted.

Only do it if it's mutual

>>118904
The issue with being kind and caring about the wellbeing, opinions and feelings of others is that is that likely, you WILL be abused, he WILL get taken advantage of for it, at some point or another.

Be glad you're not a narcissist. You should go out and live for yourself and do things that you enjoy and hopefully you will run into the right people for you.

Don't go out of your way for others who will just abuse you in the end. Try to find people who are similar to you and vibe with you.

I often think about why I am such a people pleaser and I realize that there is something insidious about it. One of the reasons why I do this because I want to get closer and be part of their life. I managed to people please the heck out of few people that they became so dependent on me for emotional support that even I got scared about how creepy it got. It felt like I was playing Persona with S Links and I'm not even joking in here.

Another reason is fear of missing out. I want to know everything and be everywhere.

Stop romanticizing some old man. Think about your situation from an outsider's perspective. Imagine being his wife.

>>119416
I managed to get a bit closer than before.
>Imagine being his wife.
Yes, I feel bliss imagining that.

He quit. I may see him for a few more days for his exit procedure to complete and after that it's over. Something in me is still in denial and can't believe that he will be gone soon.

you're only 26, you can just wait it out and see what happens

there's better men that aren't geriatric don't waste your youth

I'm in an age gap relationship. I'm in my early to mid twenties, he's in his late thirties.

It's worth a try, you might find genuine love. I like his friends too and we have lovely times together. We've been together for nine months and this is the first time I've ever felt loved. Some s here might think this is a big meme but there can be huge comfort found with older men, and not in a daddy issues sort of way. I'm someone this sort of relationship is right for - age gaps are not for everyone.

Thing is, as an aside irrelevant to your post, I'm also a big autist so I'm always worrying about unnecessary things or not making decisions about things which do matter. Lately I feel like I'm often on the brink of breaking up with him because of things of which age is a contributing factor - his stubbornness, his plans to donate his sperm. He's also a Tate fan. Honestly I don't care what people believe but he harps on about him and I get this close to telling him to shut the fuck up. I haven't broken up with him yet because I can't tell if I make myself feel upset because I feel I should or if I actually feel upset. But this is an individual thing; my friend is with an older man and he's more liberal leaning.

So yeah there are ups and downs. You need to make him lay everything on the table. Make it very clear that the younger partner gets the short end of the stick. Make sure this relationship is loving and worthwhile, because as a young woman you do have plenty of options. Think about if you want to help him into his adult Pampers and ensure he's stocked up on Viagra.

>>119490
Washing the professor's beakers isn't "experience in the lab"

youre the retard

I feel like this is fake

you are shallow. so what are you going to do about it?