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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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bf attracted to other girls Anonymous 123128[Reply]

am i supposed to just accept that every guy is going to be attracted to other girls, even while he’s in a relationship with me? people say it’s normal, but honestly, it really hurts. i wish it didn’t get to me, but it does. my boyfriend always follows hot egirls on social media and sometimes even talks about how hot he finds them, celebs or not. it hurts. and yeah, even when it’s a celebrity, it still stings. i don’t really see a difference between him saying that about a famous girl or some everyday girl. it still makes me feel like shit. i’m struggling to come to terms with this ‘norm’, but it feels like i have to. seems like every guy is like this, and there’s no escaping it. it honestly makes me feel sick. what am i supposed to do?
23 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123389

He's allowed to see other women, but needs to recognize he's not their man.

Anonymous 123405

I would keep trying as long as i can. Theres bound to be someone id hope

Anonymous 123434

you are allowed to think / aknowledge someone is physically good-looking while in a relationship and you'll always do this subconciously anyway.
but actually talking to your partner about how you find other people attractive and specific ones in particular in a serious tone is hurtful and not really something you should do.
im sure your bf would take issue with it if you started talking about how you find a particular cashier or coworker attractive.

Anonymous 123646

>>123128
you should probably not take advice from people who think this is normal

Anonymous 123647

>>123646
i second this. men and women, especially nowadays. will justify and normalize openly disrespectful and lustful behavior just to prove how “secure” they are. very strange performative behavior. it’s no wonder they can’t maintain long-term healthy relationships.


breaking-up-and-di…

Anonymous 121601[Reply]

Why do people get married only to cheat or divorce? Shouldn't they know if they're happy to be together BEFORE they get married?
10 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123252

>>121601
the people who marry are not the people who question things, the people who marry are the ones who blindly do what other people did before them, blindly assuming that the people before had valid reasons that still make sense to this day. they just do it because they believe in normality and marrying is normal.

the more i question the more i know this: normal people will suffer, they are unconscious. they don't think things through, they don't keep up with developments in culture, they don't re-evaluate after a change, they don't think for themselves, they want the shortcut so bad that they don't care where the shortcuts leads them towards.

if you look hard you can probably find a marriage that works, i haven't seen one that wasn't a good looking but deeply rotten miniature-version of the mindless imperialism that is the root of all evil where either one or both participants in were suffering and just hanging in because they were trying to be a good sport.

Anonymous 123265

>>123264
no one gives a fuck about sane men. marry insane men and get what you want out of them

Anonymous 123268

politician.png

>>123265

Anonymous 123270

>>123265
based

Anonymous 123643

>>123252
thank u for this reminder


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setting boundaries with struggling friend. Anonymous 123373[Reply]

hi all! i've been friends with a girl for about 8ish months now. we were very close friends until about april when she cut me off and we stopped talking for about 50 days. i'm not completely sure why she cut me off, but she has some mental health struggles that likely come into play there. at the time she cut me off, she was somewhat cold and made it seem like she wanted nothing to do with me.

but, about a month ago, she reached back out to me because she missed me. while i had mostly gotten over her, i was very glad to see her again. we talked a lot and we started dating. about two days ago, she revealed to me that she never actually loved me, and that she kind of just dated me in order to make her father proud/because of social pressures. we broke up, and she spiraled like she did a few months ago and cut me off once again. she keeps saying that she doesn't care when i try to reason with her, or that i should stop trying to fix her.

i'm not angry with her, even though she thinks i am. if anything i'm just sad that she's doing this to me and herself. i consider her a close friend, but at the same time, i'm not sure if i can continue dealing with all of this. the constant self-loathing, the random mood switches, worrying that she's okay when she goes ghost, and getting abandoned over and over again takes a toll on my mental health. i love her, but i'm not sure what to do next.

it's likely that she will get over this sooner or later, and continue trying to reach back out to me. i'm also going to have to see her again in a few weeks because of an activity we participate in together. i really want to be friends with her, but at the same time, i'm aware that the dynamic we have isn't healthy. she's started struggling with heavy drug abuse as well, which has probably also impacted her mental health.

when she reaches back out, i plan to tell her that we can be friends again, but only under certain conditions. our friendship can't continue the way it has been. she will have to seek help for her drug abuse/mental health issues before i can be friends with her again. it makes me very sad that i have to do this, but it's also the only way things can be right between us.

anything else you think i should ask of her?

side note: i'm also considering seeking out a psychiatrist, because i am aware of some unhealthy tendencies that i have too. i tend to be pretty attached to her, and worry a lot about her.

Anonymous 123376

i went through the same. had a best friend who was an alcoholic and smoked marihuana a lot, i was also very attached to her and overprotective, always welcomed her when she reached out after some ugly episode. I don't want to be pessimistic about your situation, but if you tell her to seek help she'll most likely won't, that's something that was to be born from her, from personal experience.

if this gives you hopes, me and my friend went apart for like three or four years, we recently re connected after we both went to therapy, we are both medicated and in a better mental health condition which had made us have a healthier friendship, but that was because she was the one who looked up for help at one point after we stopped talking, not for all the times i asked her to do it.

Wish you luck tho and don't sacrifice yourself for someone who isn't willing to do the same for you

Anonymous 123429

>>123376
thank you. i'm really struggling with missing her/hating her right now. on one hand i can't fault her for what she's done because she has mental health issues (and some other outside circumstances) that cause this behavior. on the other hand, this is really taking a toll on me. this is the second time she's left me out of nowhere. it hurts that she continues to disregard my feelings over and over again.

i keep wanting to just block her on everything and pretend like i don't know her. but i also want to leave lines of communication open in the hopes that she comes to her senses. i really do care for her, but i can't say she feels the same about me.

Anonymous 123641

>>123373
i was so desperate to talk to her for closure, but now that i've actually done it, i don't really want to be friends with her anymore. we discussed the nature of our friendship earlier today, and it seems like she still wants to be friends with me. i don't mind though.

like, i still really like her as a person, but idk if i can be bothered with her atp. maybe it's just late night emotions but idk. i think she went too far this time. i can no longer separate her from what she's done to me.

atp i'm basically just giving our friendship a test drive to see if we still have what it takes to be friends. i'm not afriad it cut her off if i feel like it though.


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Anonymous 123022[Reply]

how do u be a better person and develop empathy no joke. without speaking to anyone except my boyfriend ever (no glue no borax) i treated him so horrible i just want to give him everything he deserves hes helped me so much in life hes saved me but i keep lashing out at him and blaming him because everything feels so wrong in my head and idk what to do he said im a narcissist but idk how to fix that therapy isnt an option because every single time ive gone ive been completely enabled and it was horrible, im not conscious at all of my bad traits either i grew up isolated as fuck im too socially retarded to even realize doesssanyone else get that what do we do nonaz
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123034

>>123032
i don't have a lot of advice for you nona, sorry. i know you can't just control emotions that bad when they do happen.

however, you can control how you express them and you need to pick a way to express them that's as least destructive as possible. you can't just blame things on people like that and make them that responsible for your emotions. especially since he has been helping you. (of course he may be manipulating you in some ways but that's unclear from your posts)

Anonymous 123036

>>123032
>but he is kind of the reason i hate how i look so much in the firs tplace but idk
how so?
blaming your bf isnt a bad thing if its reasonable, logical and deserved. you just need to distinguish between the two.
toxic people cant handle criticism and have no sense of responsibility, even if theyre objectively in the wrong.

Anonymous 123269

Domino-Day_2024_01…

>>123022
>how do u be a better person and develop empathy no joke.

it's simple: think ahead. just every time you do or say something, make an honest effort to think of the consequences.

when you do or say something, that is you tipping over a little plastic domino piece and when you think ahead you don't just stand in behind the falling piece (just pushing the piece away from you) where you can only see the piece, you rather stand next to it or above it, where you can also see all the other pieces and antipicate the chain reaction it will cause. once you see how far reaching the reverberations of your decisions are, you might make them more carefully or choose not to do them. this creates the space for better choices. also it will make you wonder if you are just responsible for the thing you say or also for the chain reaction your action causes.

Anonymous 123345

>>123022
>he said im a narcissist
drop him lol

Anonymous 123628

Im with you nona though im gonna be entering my mid 20s, i cant really say ive grown much as a person or if theres any point in it other than masking well enough that people dont get mad at you


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Anonymous 119969[Reply]

Anyone else just accept the fact that they'll never have a husband and kids? How do you cope?
55 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123388

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>>119969
I dehumanized myself and turned to bloodshed to steal my husband from the putrid maw of a woman I have hated since kindergarten. He might be a weakling, but he's my weakling. I wanted him from the moment I laid eyes on him and I won't let anyone else have him. I have seized his essence and have bore unto myself a child comprised of my mind and will and his beauty and physique.

Take what is rightfully yours nona. Become the puppet master of his loins and accept no substitutions. Life is too short to spend your day wishing. Force your way.

Anonymous 123609

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>>123388
waht

Anonymous 123619

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I certainly won't have a husband, but I want to have two or three children. I'll definitely try in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination, or adoption. I don't really care about their gender, but I'm happy if they're all girls. But I have to buy a three-bedroom house first, and that's quite expensive here in my country.

Anonymous 123621

>>123619
Do not have a boy, we need to eliminate the Y-chromosome.

Anonymous 123623

>>123621
In the case of IVF, if the embryo that succeeds is XY, well, I'll accept it and do what I can.


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Anonymous 121744[Reply]

The whole phenomenon of this dude is proof that standards/body-shaming/fatphobia don’t exist for males. If the original post had been of a woman it would be like any other post and be lost to time. But because someone had the audacity to try to socially enforce any rock bottom, bare minimum physical standard for the sacred male, everyone threw a fit and he got a whole media festival of events, money and opportunities thrown at him for weeks on end. In real life a female is torn to shreds for not spending most of her mental energy on appearances, but something as febrile as “hey maybe a male shouldn’t be so fat he can barely walk” is completely socially unacceptable and would get you fired while every handmaiden within ten miles performatively throws themselves on his gangrenous fat-entombed micropenis.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121924

>>121923
I mean use your brain for 1 second. If society doesn't agree on an ideal body type for men, why are male models required to be skinny or fit? Why are characters meant to portray attractive men in shows and movies often slim, fit and tall? If you look at any female centric media youll see that the moids there are conventionally attractive, not fat pigs. You can look up various studies that shows women's prefefence for lean muscular men but perhaps you'd nitpick those studies as well.

Anonymous 122039

>>121744
I see more fat women with regular size men than vice versa. I almost always see fat guys with fat women.

Anonymous 123292

the way people treat each other is completely unnecessarily awful

Anonymous 123309

>>122039

women are biologically fat. they're supposed to have more fat than men, usually for child-rearing reasons like fat deposition in breasts and rears, metabolism being slower, energy more likely to be stored as fat, etc. - hence why the comparison between fat men vs fat women in your case is slightly biased. i feel like most women should know this by now, its always been a topic of discussion in the fitness community.

yes, the reason you see more "fat women with regular sized men" is because they're supposed to be fat. even if they weighed the same kg/lbs as men, the woman would have more fat & the man would have the most muscles. unless its a super skinny man vs a mid-sized woman, which wasn't at all what you described. i also feel like people of both genders put a bigger emphasis on determining a woman's weight than a man's. people are always so much concerned about a woman's measurements. maybe its a psychological bias paired with biology.

Anonymous 123608

>>123309
Women are supposed to be more fat relative to men but they also wear it better. No one should be fat


Anonymous 123589[Reply]

Have you ever gone to jail or prison? How was it and what were the whole processes?

Anonymous 123597

Do not kill whoever you want to kill nona

Anonymous 123599

did you know in the us they bring a happy meal to suspects in interrogation rooms? perhaps a criminal life isn't so bad…

Anonymous 123600

i was planning to murder a boy when i was younger


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Anonymous 122630[Reply]

I wish all men looked like this
39 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123262

>>123232
i guess since im not blonde i find that hair color rlly exotic on men. but only if theyre hot, ugly men arent human

Anonymous 123367

>>123076
Men don't care if you bully them or not. The only thing that truly hurts their egos is if you don't acknowledge the story they want you to believe about themselves.

Narcissistic injuries are a dangerous thing to play with, and you should never attempt them when alone with a man.

>>123134
It won't cause resentment towards women (in general), just towards that particular woman who insulted him. Men get resentment towards women when women (in general) don't want to have sex with them (narcissistic injury).

Anonymous 123371

>>123367
>you should never attempt them when alone with a man.
i will attempt this (with a gun)

Anonymous 123567

I hate men so much. I wish people would stop having boys.

Anonymous 123588

He is nerdy but muscular and Lena Dunham is good looking but FAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT


when-take-pregnanc…

I am pregnant Anonymous 122619[Reply]

I found out a week ago that I am pregnant.
I am married, have been for 2 months to my husband who I have been with for 3.5 years now.
I am scared.
Right now I am the sole breadwinner of the house and I don't even make that much money. Enough for bills but hardly enough for anything else and slowly have been draining my savings.
He doesn't work. He had a good paying job but left it to pursue school 6 months ago. And what he is in school for I honestly don't think he has a future in.
Other than the financial struggles, neither of us are ready to be parents.
I think I could handle being a Mom, but I do not want to be a Mom. I am not ready for a lifetime commitment yet. I wanted to enjoy being newleyweds longer.
He is not ready to be a Dad. Emotionally immature.
The reality is slowly dawning on me on how hard this will be for us and I am really distraught. We are broke and I am married to a man who literally cannot handle fatherhood. I am terrified.
At first I thought I would be excited for a baby but I am more scared, mostly because of ny husband being unprepared. I know he couldnt support us but I know one of us will have to stay home with baby all day.
I just dont know what to do.
19 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123002

Please abort. Don't give this thing a shitty life with unstable parents.

Anonymous 123386

Either he will emotionally mature to the extent possible despite stunted development, or he will not. One ought to finally her biological imperative, and conditions will never be 'better,' only more comfortable. Perhaps the pressure will force him to step up.

Anonymous 123566

If your baby is a boy go get an abortion. Being male is so bad for people.

Anonymous 123573

>>123566
Why are you fishing for attention in another thread the moment to stop getting attention in the other?

Anonymous 123587

>>123573
I guess maybe he's trying to slide a thread or just bury recent threads in general lol


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sugar daddies and edating Anonymous 123383[Reply]

ive been looking on reddit for some SD for a while and its been dissapointment after dissapointment. I like older guys so its a lifestyle id want to try. Honestly If i cant find a SD shoulld I just go after an older boyfriend online? I just like being gifted things and attention so it works out right? Is edating worth it?
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123410

What spaces do they exist in!?!?! Spill the beanssssssss!!!

Anonymous 123422

>>123409
Doing it online you're much likelier to run into scammers and bullshit not worth your time

Anonymous 123432

>>123410
Just go where you think rich people are. Become a bottle girl at a club. Work at a country club.

Anonymous 123546

Is there a way to get money from scrotes totally online, without ever meeting up IRL, and without ever showing your real face/name?

Anonymous 123584

>>123546
Probably harder to do no face unless you ai generate a photo or something but yeah. There are digital doms. It can be a financial paypig situation


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