/feels/ - Advice & Venting

my boyfriend’s porn addiction is making me lose my mind. I first found out about it in early August but I keep finding out things he’s lying about. At first he framed it as just watching a random video then closing. Then, I found out he used to pay for OF while we were together. after this, I found out that he was doing this shit the entire time before I found out and he had a twitter account for OF egirls + bought an anime porn game. He first blamed his problem on our relationship issues before I found out he was doing it the whole time.
He said that what I sent him wasn’t “enough to look at” compared to porn despite him literally being overweight with a receding hairline (quickly apologized but still).

After I found out about the OF stuff, I started cheating on him online. I was a very popular cosplayer and used to make lots of money off of my looks, so it feels weird and makes me feel resentful because I feel like he doesn’t admire my looks like this. Flirting with girls/guys online feels like an escape from feeling like I’m ugly + feels like a gotcha. It makes me want to show off my body and for a while I even thought of doing gravure work when I move back to Japan. I feel horrible for doing this. I used to hate male attention, but I feel relief when a cute moid hits on me. it’s like a “atleast someone appreciates my looks”.

He’s been a great partner and has been treating me amazingly since but I still feel this way sometimes and I feel like a horrible person. What should I do? Am I a bad person?

Why should I have to settle for an ugly man just because I'm an ugly woman? I hate ugly men.

Men can impregnate multiple women at once so all women should just be able to share the few actual good looking men.

I'm dating in the city, and I've noticed that poly people will just not leave me the fuck alone. It doesn't really matter how clear and polite I make it that I'm not interested in being with multiple people, these people will continue to push you, prod you, try to get you drunk to sleep with you or worse fucking lie to you about it for a long time. It's not even just men, a lot of the times its women, especially bi women pimping themselves out for their boyfriends, even lesbians. These people will make a big stink about how what they're doing is the most humane, down to earth, ethical way to fuck someone even while actively pushing your boundaries, even after straight up hiding this from you to take advantage of you. At this point I'm pretty sure some of them just have a fetish for coercing people into this shit.

I had someone reveal this while fucking me after talking to me for weeks, and I've reached a total breaking point.

This might be too much of a Brooklyn problem, but if you're in any major liberal city I'm sure you could throw a stone and hit any of these creeps. Anyone have any idea wtf is wrong with these people? How do I get them to leave me the fuck alone and go fuck each other instead?

I'm not sure if my boyfriend cheated on me or not. He tried to meet up with his ex but he hasn't. Didn't? I'm not sure. Everytime I try to talk about it he seems to sigh a little, maybe it's out of shame. I love him so much. He told me he wanted to stay. I'm letting us stay together, but I'm so nervous. I want to trust him again. I'm tired of being a paranoid schizophrenic about this. I love him so much. I don't wanna get hurt again. This is a horrible, no good, bad thing, isn't it? He held me and panicked a whole night with me about it. Oh, geez. Geez, geez, geez.

i hate being short no one takes you seriously and peopl talk about how "cute" you are as if thats somethinf good and not extremely infantilizing. my self confidemce would be significantly improved if i was at least 5`6. short bodies look like shit in general, if youre skinny you just end up making yourself look even smaller and more fragile if youre fat your body starts to look all lumpy and your proportions seem off, if youre muscular you just look retarded any type of volume on short bodies ends up looking retarded. you cant win

felt like this should be a thread tbh
what's everyone up to? i'm thinking of downloading tinder again

my groomer is a popular artist in a fandom space i'm in. i've tried to escape him so many times but he keeps somehow being interested in the same shit as me, posting his art, and then getting popular. it drives me insane and the one time i tried to tell people who he was (because i noticed he was following a lot of teenagers ) it did practically nothing. in fact, many people were defending him: "i don't understand people who now are all up in arms that ____ is a groomer…" and trying to get into contact with him. this specific person ended up seeing a repost about what he did with all the proof and made fanart for him, also found his contact information to message him. someone in the comments tried to tell her that he was a terrible person but she knew and didn't care, i wish i didn't feel so sensitive about this but i get SO upset seeing this happen.

i've seen at least three people find out what he did and then mention WANTING to contact him after finding out, or just being blasé about it. i've tried just blocking and leaving whatever fandom but i'm not going to let myself be pushed out of my own interests because of some asshole. i just figured nowadays people would have more empathy, but i don't have many friends besides from two who believed me about it, all the rest of my friends were also my groomers friends who chose him over me. at some point his ex girlfriend contacted me and told me she tried to report him to the police so they could get a warrant to search his device or whatever, but i never ended up hearing from her again about that.

i'm not sure what to do, ppl aren't listening to what happened anyways. i just wish i could live my life and ignore him but he's everywhere. i rlly needed to vent about this but advice would be nice too, i thought i had moved on completely from him but seeing this stuff still bothers me.

Do you guys think it's weird and gross that for a woman, sex is about the guy dumping a load into your body?
I don't understand why more women don't think it's weird and gross. Like it's fully accepted that it's normal. Imagine spitting in somebody's mouth or peeing into their mouth. GROSS!!

Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.

>They like it when you're available for them or talk about things that personally interest them
>They like it when you make an effort
>They like it when you try to make it special for them
>They like it when you bring energy, passion, enthusiasm, effort, etc

But…

>They aren't interested in you
>They don't even like being with you
>They get bored and find other people who they like more than you
> They don't bring any energy, passion, enthusiasm, effort, they just don't care unless it's about them

Why does dating often feel like being an entertainer for other people?