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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 110311[Reply]

i look too young. i am almost 19 and i look 12 years old, which turns everyone away. even my voice is super high. i understand that its good to look young but every time i talk to moids, they get turned away by me like they dont wanna be me and i honestly think its my looks. its not good to be woman when you havent grow in any way. i had anorexia and im still bit disordered so i didnt get mature (for example boobs didnt grow). i cant fix this anymore and no one wants me like that because people dont wanna be seen as p*dos or whatever idfk. i will obviously age with age but then i just will look old and ugly, i will never be womanly…
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110324

>>110313
why you think im retarded? thats not very nice to say in /feels/

Anonymous 110325

Hang in there nona, you're still very young. I think you'll find that both you and other people will care less as the years pass.

In the meanwhile, is there anything in the way you dress that might add to your youthful appearance? Maybe you could find some new styles that make you look older (and totally rad)?

Anonymous 110332

>>110325
i dont know how to do make up or so but i dont dress childish either, very basic woman clothing i would say.

Anonymous 110343

Go to a good hair stylist and ask for a cut and a color that will make you appear older, dress in darker colors, darker/mature makeup. There's a lot you can do, grow your butt in the gym if this is about curves. There's a lot you can do.

Anonymous 110358

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My coworker told me that my weakness is that I look very young and that it's going to be hard for me to make it. He told me that thought that I was 6 years younger than my actual age when he first saw me.

Still, he told me that it's possible to make things work out at work and I need to develop a "personality" that makes things work for me, like learning to use my eyes as a weapon to express anger, and to use covert ways to make people do what you want like doing small manipulative experiments to shame them and hurt their ego in public if they wronged you.

You're just 19, Nona. There's still some years in your bag to do something. Maybe bone growth is over after hitting puberty but you can do something cosmetically. I'd say 25 is when things are over.



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The guilt is unbearable Anonymous 110052[Reply]

Anons I posted about a mutual friend to another female imageboard (you know the one) and I recently found out that they frequent that site. I feel bad because if they find the post they'll know it's me. I sent an email to the mod team asking to take my post down but no reply. I'm scared anons. What should I do?
15 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110162

>>110160
What happened?

Anonymous 110163

>>110162
Oh, nothing. I was shitting on the OP.

Anonymous 110164

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learn from your mistakes, be a better person going forward. Apologize sincerely, but only one time, and most importantly GET BETTER FRIENDS THAT YOU ACTUALLY RESPECT.

Anonymous 110241

>>110164
>GET BETTER FRIENDS THAT YOU ACTUALLY RESPECT.
OP here. I do respect my friends but my friends do have some weird and questionable friends themselves. I'm not extremely close with her, and my opinion of her soured immediately when one of my actual friends began ranting to me about how much this mutual friend takes advantage of her kindness with little to nothing in return. Like, it's a really bad situation. That's the entire reason I even posted about her in the first place. I was extremely frustrated with my good friend's situation and how most people are cool with the mutual friend. They wouldn't be cool with her if they knew she's ebegging online pretending to be disabled kek.

Anonymous 110340

How do you access lulcor? I don't see any results for it when I search it up on Google.



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Anonymous 110010[Reply]

He would rather play fetch with my dog for 3 hours than watch a movie with me.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110184

>>110010
Let him run around until he tires himself out, then give him a bone and put on a movie.
I miss my dog.

Anonymous 110185

if he doesn't take him out for the walk regularly without complaing, dump him

Anonymous 110238

If he likes dogs that much, he's a green flag for sure

Anonymous 110252

>>110184
>>Let him run around until he tires himself out, then give him a bone and put on a movie.
The moid or the dog?

Anonymous 110282

>>110252
What's da difference? OH!
-Andrea Dice Clay



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therapy Anonymous 106040[Reply]

what is your guys' experience w getting therapy? would u recommend?
73 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110041

>>106040
Wasted a lot of money for no benefit.
Would recommend if you actually have the budget to use it instead to travel abroad for your free days. Helps we way more.

Anonymous 110048

>>106055
Actually solve them.
Oh sorry this is malebrained I didn't realize.

Anonymous 110251

Therapists genuinely do not care about fixing your issues (in my experience), I'm sure there are a few who genuinely want to help (even then they often times are incapable of doing so)

They make money off of you being mentally unwell enough to see them, I don't see why they would have any incentive to actually fix you. My last one would constantly say "Oh wow I can see you're doing so much better!" like every week, non stop, despite me not doing better (at least not because of her)

She would also constantly plug this retarded meditation app and told me all my problems would be fixed if I "breathed with my belly" rather than idk my fucking lungs. Any time I seemed unenthusiastic to meditate during my ridiculously expensive sessions with her she would get so defensive (I think meditation is useless, at least in my circumstance). I stopped seeing her because she was enraged by me saying I don't think meditation is the way to go about solving my problems.
BTW, this is an allegedly highly educated therapist with a PHD not some weird hippie friend of a friend.

My therapist before that would show me youtube videos to "help", eventually my friends started seeing her as well (we were like 13 so no real issues), she broke her code of conduct or whatever and literally told me that my friend said I was bi,
She had no reason to bring this up, nor could she legally. She also tried to tell me I had issues with my mother (I didn't?) and made her join one of my sessions where I literally had nothing to say.

TLDR I'm sure therapy is helpful for some people, but a lot of therapists suck, also if you have anxiety it is likely they are not going to tell you anything you cannot get from the internet
(breathe deeply ! look at photos of your fear !)

Anonymous 110261

Waste of money honestly… i wasted money and some sessions i couldnt get it all out and the time was short when i need hours.

Anonymous 110275

Therapy is an incredibly mixed bag. I've been lucky with the good therapists I've found, but when I've had bad ones, they've been absolutely nightmarish and have made me actively worse. When you do have a good one, they are great for helping to break repetitive thought cycles and do give good advice. Even so, the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay active, get good sleep, take your vitamins, spend a little time outside, and journal when things feel like too much. Making a habit of these will have a cumulative effect. If you have anxiety, there's good cbt workbooks out there, but solving your own problems is the only way to actually get better. Good luck nonas, healing is hard but small steps forward are still steps forward!



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us vs them (IMPOSTER amogus) Anonymous 110257[Reply]

here's a random thought -
sometimes there are people in your "in-group" who use their in-group identity to get away with acting abusively. the problem may not be with the group identity itself, but the fact that the group enables abusive behavior solely because the person acting abusively is part of their group, or so they believe.
the problem with this is that by enabling an individual in their abusive behavior, the group is enabling the abusive behavior itself. so the person continues to act in that manner, and drags down the rest of the group in further conflict or regression, possibly even dividing their group by creating new conflict. the behavior doesn't get corrected, and any values derived from that behavior will result in cognitive dissonance/a decay in one's humanity.
i dunno why i felt compelled to say this but, it often seems like i am more angry at a behavior these days as opposed to an actual politically defined "group." there are people who think that, just because they share an identity with you, you'll enable their bad behavior and let them get away with things. ultimately i enjoy teamwork and HEALTHY competitivity over being pitted against people for no reason all the time.

Anonymous 110259

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One rotten apple is enough to spoil the whole box. The decomposition of the rotten apple starts from the inside, and lets out ammonia and other decaying compounds anaerobically, even if the whole box is sealed and air-tight, and the microorganisms start to develop and eat other fruits in the lot.

It's the same with furniture. Suppose you accidentally bring in a furniture that has a termite hive, the termites will start to spread and infect every other furniture near it.

Same with psychopaths. They act like your friend, they get in the bunch and preach the same values and ideals, and instead of being an instrument of these ideals that they preach, they only preach them because they get attention and they feel special. Soon, they start to take over the ideology itself, just because they get to feel special.

Anonymous 110265

>>110257
so who do you think should correct them and why is it not you?

Anonymous 110266

>>110265
i believe "enabling" behavior is the root issue as opposed to some tangible entity. ultimately, i think lots of things can enable those that are dragging down their in-group, and there are lots of weird parallels with amogus, hence the meme. for instance, supporting others instead of giving attention to ill-intentioned people. offering solutions along with criticism instead of "circle jerking" over problems and any bad emotions that may arise. there are lots of ways in which enabling behavior can manifest, but the main point is not rewarding those who only seek to drive conflict as to feel empowered to behave abusively.

Anonymous 110267

>>110266
and again, the problem is not some inherent issue of competitivity, but an unhealthy form in which individuals who are not great themselves use their in-group identity to become powerful. an environment which allows an invasive plant to strangle other vegetation - the problem is not the plant but the environment.

Anonymous 110268

>>110267
also - one last point, activities which challenge people's teamwork and ability to compete in a healthy manner may prevent people like this from becoming powerful in the first place.



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Anonymous 109669[Reply]

nonas in third world countries and misogynistic patriarchal societies how do you navigate through the daily struggles of living in a such society without becoming extremely depressed and suicidal?
as soon as I started to understand the world around me as it is in my early teenage years and how women are looked down upon, objectified for their bodies, abused in my family and around me it took a huge toll on my mental health especially after I started getting sexually harassed and cat called whenever I went outside, so I isolated myself from the external world as a coping mechanism and I became chronically online which didn't help as I continued to delve more into feminism and how badly this world is fucked for us women. I've tried to speak about it to my mom and my friends but it I always end up feeling like the crazy one because nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about even if the endless struggles are very much real yet they're all brainwashed by our culture and religion to think that men are not the problem.
I'm just wondering if you're dealing with this too what are your coping mechanisms and how do you go on about your day hearing misogynistic and sexist shit from men and women all the time?
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109895

>>109877
NTN. Plenty of fully grown women wear it of their own volition. It’s a belief system that they claim as theirs and they wish to honor it and commit to it. For instance, if you identified as a furry you probably would dredge up the audacity to flounder around in a fursuit. People dress to align with what they identify as.
>inb4 some are forced into it
Indeed some are forced into it. When they’re young and pliant and stupid and powerless to resist. But humans grow and change and get stronger, and those who choose to wear it wholeheartedly do it and assume the consequences and those who take it off do so and assume the consequences. So why project the experience of a margin of the population as the general denominator?

Anonymous 109949

>>109877
Please understand that its just clothes, everyone is forced to wear clothes in public, headscarves are no different except that other cultures don't wear them.
>>109895
This, so much this.

Anonymous 109951


Anonymous 109963

I'm so sorry nona, life gets very heavy when we start to rationalize our condition in this world. For example, I haven't found a way to deal with it, and it's horrible. The shithole where I live is quite violent, misogynistic and with female hyper sexualization spread like a disease wherever you look; the feminist debate has been completely mishandled in recent years, to the point that almost no one takes it seriously. I did the same thing as you: I isolated myself from the world, using the internet as an escape. Currently I focus only on work and studies, exercise, the few things I still enjoy. I kind of live with a horse blinder on my face and I'm starting to become a completely indifferent person, having little or no hope.

Anonymous 110262

Its a painful experience indeed



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Anonymous 110004[Reply]

My bf rejected a girl's requests to "study together" during after-school hours out of respect for my feelings and she got mad at him and called him/me fragile, implying her intentions weren't "romantic". I don't understand tho, he only refused politely and there was no reason to get mad over it then why did she get offended to the point of switching from polite to mean? I've been told the same before a bunch of time but I don't take it to heart and instead just respect the choice of the person
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110084

>>110072
I saw this as a moment of emotional vulnerability of him, since we are extremely close, strong fights/breakups are rare in our relationship, and I messed up for keeping him at distance for that long instead of apologizing sooner. Even tho he apologized to me too.

When you love someone/live with them for over a year, 2 week break drags like an eternity, I cried myself to sleep almost everyday.

>>110078
To be honest, if he was already fucking around with other girls when we split, I probably would have a hard time forgiving him, or might not even come back to him at all.

The fact it was my friend who went to his house to seduce him, somehow stings less, even after I felt a bit betrayed by her actions, but not much surprised since she flirts with him from time to time right in front of me, under the excuse to "tease" me, he always rejects her advances and clings to me more.

Anonymous 110091

>>110014
>cuck fetish is bad
>>110084
>I forgive my friend for fucking my moid
You're contradicting yourself here lol

Anonymous 110105

>>110091
If anything shes the cuck, she tried to get into our relationship, making a three-way couple or some shit like that, she cried, apologized, said how she felt she was "losing me" because I spend more time with him than her nowadays, trying to remind me how we are so close since we were kids and all that bullshit, and to this day she still can't find her own moid, the highlight of her life was fucking him once, while I get this privilege whenever I want, and way more, for the past 4 years now.

I see people with relationships going on for less time than mine where the moid already mentally checked out and did way worse things to their girlfriends, neglecting them, while my man is still obsessed with me, always listens to me, he is always worried about how I feel, always trying to please me… 4 years straight and going strong, imagine if I threw all this away because of my friend's stunt.
At this point I feel more pity than hate for her tbh. Shes going to die glazing at my relationship, wishing forever desperately to be the side bitch.

Anonymous 110248


Anonymous 110250

>>110105
wow, truly abnormal amounts of coping in this reply



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PCOS has ruined my life Anonymous 110226[Reply]

Been diagnosed since i was 16, and all it did was give me the worst fucking acne of my life, i grow hair on my face like a man and i never have motivation to do anything. everyone is talking about how lifestyle is the biggest factor or go on this or that medicine but im from a third world country with the most controlling mother who cannot wait to marry me off. how do i even cope with this?? will i ever look like those normal woman with nice legs skinny bodies and smooth skin or am i destined to grow thick beard hairs for life

Anonymous 110239

i can assure you, that there is a man who will find you attrative. men do not care about appearance nearly as much as you think they do. just shave your face, its not like he is going to know.
>t. cystic acne haver who has a bf

Anonymous 110245

I'm also a pcos haver, I've gotten sir'd at stores on days where I had an unshaved face and my hair up in a pony. To be honest, lifestyle factors can only take you so far. I've lost so much weight and my period has become regular (until now, more on that) and painless, however, I'm still growing facial hair.
I'm mildly gender nonconforming and have a bit of a female-machismo complex, so it doesn't bother me too much in relation to my identity and individuality.
However, I do get insecure when it comes to dating. I question if men will accept my chin scragglies. I shave before dates, so they won't know, but I wish this wasn't a thing I didn't have to account for. Yes I don't have to, but I don't want to limit my dating pool. Simply, not all men are attracted with hairier girls.
I recently got on spironolactone to address the hair and acne and I'm 3 months in and my period stopped. My acne hasn't. My hair growth is slowing down at least.
I think the only thing that I can ultimately do is acceptance. I'm considering electrolysis but I'm conflicted.
I have no real advice to offer, I'm sorry, but I hope one day you can feel more comfortable.
Sometimes I feel like my body force transitions me

Anonymous 110246

>third worlder with helicopter mom who wants to arrangedmarriagemaxx
It's over unless you're Sara Ali Khan.

Anonymous 110247

There is some over the counter medicine that helps with acne if you can't see a doctor, you can take it and hide it somewhere.



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Anonymous 109487[Reply]

I've never been catcalled. I'm pretty. Why?
17 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110110

>>110107
Based I wish I could scare men like that

Anonymous 110123

>>110107
Your morphology is just excessive technology. You have been stripped of sociological stress. Your unconscious mind is likely OOP. You're just autistic as your biological fields. Do you even have a soul, universal cadaver? I hail you to service.

Anonymous 110136

>>110123
>>110110
My main downside is that the type of moids who do see me as harassable are the worst of the worst. It's a double edged sword. The fifth dimension spergery does not stop them all

Anonymous 110230

>>109487
Do you live in a majority white or majority asian area?
If so, that's your problem.

Anonymous 110236

>>110107
>>110136
Me, too.
Though I have a weird power where even the freaks don't harass me, they pursue me earnestly in romance. This is awful in a different way.
Last one was a man who I didn't know was banned from half of the campus for sexually harassing women. He treated me so innocently it was fucking bizarro. (Never liked him and ran the fuck away after finding out)



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Social Anxiety Disorder/Agoraphobia thread Anonymous 101071[Reply]

Imageboards attract us like flies so i made this thread so we can feel less lonely, here's some questions to get it going
>How is your life right now
>Do you go outside?
>Any friends or company?
>What do you do to cope with it
>Share a highlight from your life
67 posts and 17 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110179

>>110135
congrats on your job interviews.
question,, do you fear others looking at you while on your walks or at the gym? how do you manage your social anxiety going to packed places like uni and the gym? i feel like there's so much going on all around at both

Anonymous 110186

Sometimes I think I'm getting better or it's just cute behaviours, then I can see girls having troubles socialising and start wondering if I also look that pathetic it's disgusting

Anonymous 110199

>>110179
Thank you. When I'm on my walks, there's nobody ever around, usually. It really can get overwhelming at the gym, but most of the times, it's like I'm living half-reality, half-fantasy world in my head. I always have a fantasy going on in my mind, and it usually keeps me distracted from what's going on around me. But sometimes, I laugh randomly as a result of what occurs in my fantasy world, and I sometimes wonder if I look crazy to others.

Anonymous 110213

>>110199
ohh okay that’s actually really beautiful! i wish i was more of a creative person, i fear my anxiety and dreadful thoughts have dimmed my light lol. keep being u nona :,3

Anonymous 110227

>>101071
I go into work everyday and suffer from social anxiety and agoraphobia. Physically being there in the presence of others wears me down daily. How to overcome the fear of doing the small talk routine and saying hi to people? Why can’t I just sit alone in my cubicle and stare at a screen all day, I’d rather communicate via email instead of face to face…



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