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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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(un)official blogposting thread Anonymous 69765[Reply]

tell me about your day cc!
stories also welcome
294 posts and 62 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 130868

Lolcow’s lonely women thread and murderer documentaries on youtube really make me feel not alone in being really isolated and out of touch from reality. Thank you lolcow autistic experiences thread and weird people youtube documentaries, also the strange people thread here on /x/. This is something really hard for me to come to terms with as it fills me with dread.

Anonymous 130981

Screenshot_69.png

Finally found that one table that tied schizoidness to historical attitudes towards children. Psychogenic modes are a fringe theory I think but it makes an interesting point.

Anonymous 131004

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To be a hermit is to be holy.

Anonymous 131005

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my face when I accidentally see people I don't like having a good day

Anonymous 131581

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I rejoined “society” and I started noticing something that hasn’t been here before.

I stopped constantly comparing people to each other. I don’t create mental hierarchies where someone is inferior or superior. I don’t evaluate them by asking “how good would being friends with them make me look?”.

I think I started seeing people as ends unto themselves. It is a strange feeling, as if I am a parent that doesn’t have a favorite child - they’re all just… valuable by themselves.

Somehow this feels very liberating. Weird, huh?


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advice on talking about self harm to doctor Anonymous 131488[Reply]

hello, i wanted to make a post on here asking anyone’s experience talking to a doctor about their self harm.. im 20 and wanting to look for treatment and i bite myself extremely hard and have been for months. i just am scared and feeling anxious it will mess things up for me in the future, are there any nonas that can give advice to a super anxious girl please

Anonymous 131490

why do you bite yourself?

Anonymous 131491

I'm 20 and also used to self-harm, I can also get quite anxious. You should try some fidgetting toys or trying to release that anxious energy on something else. Exercise, art, writing, music. It will be hard at first and you'll have to force yourself to not self-harm. The more you practice eventually you'll condition your brain to express it in whatever other way you choose and it'll get easier.

I don't recommend talking about doctors on self-harm unless you're 100% sure you cannot control yourself. They could send you to a mental ward if they consider you a threat to yourself, and that place is more often than not a worse experience. Cheers nona, good luck

Anonymous 131494

>>131490
probably the same reason parrots pluck their own feathers out when stressed out

Anonymous 131568

self harm is tricky because its not like drugs where you can just separate yourself from it, esp if ur biting urself. other nona said this but you have to force yourself to stop. like when youre right about to do it you have to stop and hold yourself accountable. it will be hard but it will be worth it. start working out!!! helps a lot, basically self harm but then u r jacked too


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Anonymous 131529[Reply]

Fuck it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to quit DBT. I am so sick of being blamed for my reactions to people doing despicable things to me.

DBT is just gaslighting you into accepting abuse at the hands of others. Nothing more. That's it.

My coworker treats me like a literal fucking child when I crash out and tell him to stop abusing the interns who are too afraid to tell him no. He makes them do very dangerous and illegal things that end up with them actually poisoned with immediate and long term health effects, and then blames them for not taking precautions when I finally reported him. And when I finally call him out when he tries manipulating the intern again, he quickly turns it around and asks the autistic intern if what I said was true; and the autistic fucktard starts apologizing because he's afraid of losing his job! A thing I pointed out!

My therapist told me that our last session was the first session where I was open enough to cry in front of her. But I've cried in front of her many times. She flat out said that I was faking crying before! I don't fucking fake that shit, what the fuck?!

People act like there is something wrong with me for being upset at their shitty treatment of me and their behaviors. They act like I am broken when I break down crying.

Fuck that bitch, I am going to push back at group and be the fucking problem for fucking once. Fuck her.

At least I'm not paying for the sessions, it's all government money. Fuck them too.

Anonymous 131534

>>131529
girl what is actually going on in your life. like hang on. people are being poisoned? let’s talk about it.

Anonymous 131553

>>131534
I work in industry as a machinist and TIG welder. He has, to date, ordered the apprentice to machine raw lead (illegal as fuck), grind hardwood without PPE, and attempt welding on galvanized steel (creates poisonous gases). This man has laughed when I was walking around dazed nauseous with welder gal, poisoned by the gasses from lack of PPE. He thought it was funny. And he became upset with me when I refused to do a job where I had gotten arsenic poisoning twice before, and told him to do it himself.

But, apparently, I'm the problem.

I can't exactly quit either, very few other places would put up with my emotionally erratic ass.

Anonymous 131561

Welp, I am kicked out of the DBT group. I was considered disruptive and "unhelpful for the other patients."

Anonymous 131562

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>>131561


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NEETs what do you do all day? Anonymous 125667[Reply]

NEETS = Not in education employment or training. I’m over 25, any over over 25 NEETs? What do you actually do all day?

I’m awake now, took two puffs of my vape. TikTok scrolled, Reddit scrolled and played a game on my phone and I’m immensely bored. Ideas are welcome , any of active forums I should know about? Any & all welcome

There’s a lot of times where I just bed rot and do nothing due to the depression but I think this isn’t one of those days. But I am lonely as I have no one and bored and I don’t feel like gaming tbh.
36 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 131182

>>131062
what vidya?

Anonymous 131211

yoga, read, cook, clean, workout, overwatch.

Anonymous 131268

a large chunk of my day is just wasting away, suffering from painkiller resistant chronic pain and fatigue and they still call me lazy

Anonymous 131277

>>131268
Have you tried not being in pain? /s

Anonymous 131558

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I’m living a good life as a NEET right now and I’m pretty productive in my daily life. But seeing other women actually having pretty impressive jobs makes me feel like I need to prove I’m just as good as them. I don’t want to be the less accomplished one in the room, you know? A career isn’t necessary for that but the fact that I sucked at my jobs makes me feel insecure.


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Anonymous 131526[Reply]

my current bf of a few weeks posted on reddit a while ago an admission to cocsa. there were frequent encounters, mainly against his little sister that’s over four years younger than him from toddler aged to unclear when it stopped. probably around middle school. he would also touch and show his little cousins things like porn and sex toys too. sometimes all in a group. he was the oldest by far. he told me it was funny and not a big deal. he also had a bpd ex accuse him of misconduct and dated underaged girls as an adult, but not a huge age gap and he stopped when he was 22. he doesn’t seem to think any of this is a big deal and says the people angry at him lack nuance. what should i be feeling?

Anonymous 131527

You should break up with him, what the fuck?

Anonymous 131528

He's clearly a user, Nona. Pedos are just human predators who really suck at being human predators, so they go after the most vulnerable of all.

Anonymous 131530

>>131527
>>131528
this for real isn’t my life and sorry for being misleading but the answer is so fucking obvious i’m just posting this and screenshotting responses to the person who needed to hear this. sorry for any unintentional emotional distress it is an actual real life thing that happened but it’s not my life.

Anonymous 131538

>>131530
Post their replies

Anonymous 131554

>>131530
Should've made that obvious???


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Moving on Anonymous 131495[Reply]

How do i stop thinking about him, its been like 3 months now and the last thing he told me was to leave him alone. When he was distant and pulling away i kept getting closer and closer and it probably pushed him off and annoyed him. He said that he mentally checked out a long time ago and when he called me on the phone that we are over it felt like my whole world is going down, i was legit getting panic attacks at night and i lost my appetite and im too afraid to text him since i dont want to know if he blocked me. I just want him back. We were together for 8 months and around the 1-3 months it was good and it kind of drizzled down around 4-5 month were he has this hot and cold behaviour. For example 1-2 days he is warm and approaching and next 1-2 days he is cold and distant and this attitude alternates. Everytime he pulls away and acts cold and distant i kept asking him whats wrong and he kept responding that hes alright, hes okay and nothing is bothering him. Like how would i know there is an underlying issue if he conceals the problem by refusing to talk to me. Just the idea of him being with another girl and being intimate and having sex kills me in the inside. I just work it out and fix it. I need help. This hurts so much.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 131512

>>131505
He said that it was hard for him to talk and he said he tried telling me but it just went from one ear to another and he didnt bother telling me because it would lead to an argument to will go no where. Im like how am i supposed to know if you didnt tell me. How would it go from one ear to another if you havent physically vocalized and communicate. He also said that he always felt alone when we were together meanwhile i put all of my attention to him.

Anonymous 131521

was this your first bf?

Anonymous 131522

>>131521
I had 2 "bfs" in high school but this was the first time i had something serious. Im 27 now

Anonymous 131523

>>131512
everything you posted so far is just another iteration of "he is a useless, non-talkative piece of shit who blames you for his communication problems". Like he didnt even talk to you and then said he was sure you wouldnt have listened anyways or that you would have started a fight? He cant even take accountability for his inablitity to speak normally to you. Fuck this guy.

Anonymous 131524

pathetic


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Anonymous 131463[Reply]

What's your dream bf like?

for me:
>16-66 years old
>in severe debt
>incel, never had sex
>bald
>173cm tall exactly
>widely considered to be a schizo
>has a number of congenital diseases
>has brain damage
>no friends
>might be missing a finger or two
>speaks Mongolian

Anonymous 131480

>19-26
>brunette, light eyes, fair skin
>tall but no too tall 184cm is ideal
>shy and sensitive
>confident
>smart
>is politically right leaning and laid back, doesn't gaf
>not feminist
>romantic and enjoys companion
>avoidant with nurturing personality
>doesn't use stuff like skincare or gay parfums, i like natural masculine men
>has a good facial structure: jaw, cheekbones, browbone but not too robust and is fleshy
>pink nipples
>doesb't mind me being shy and weird
>has humour
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Anonymous 131481

>>131480
>>pink nipples
good taste.

Anonymous 131484

>>131480
>Right leaning + not feminist
extremely cringe

>>131463
>bald
cringe

>21-25 or not stupid
>does not really identify with anything, cares about humanity as a whole (dutiful and self-sacrificing like a male feminist)
>can survive and make peace in any situation (such as being trapped in a basement)
>good fat storage, slightly fat because he takes care of his needs
>promiscuous and easily charms others to have homosexual relations (“my husband’s bf”)

Anonymous 131485

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>>131484
>cringe
assassinates you

Anonymous 131519

>16-20
>white, skinny, has glasses and a full head of hair
>above 5’7” at least
>showers
>baldness does not run in the family
>shy and awkward
>virgin
>cute
>christian, ideally lutheran
>doesn't watch IRL porn (written or drawn is fine)
>an otaku like me :3


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what to do after ptsd diagnosis Anonymous 121782[Reply]

i got physically abused when i was in middle school and i had noticed i was like ‘weird’ after. had a freakout the other day bc some dog scared me and it like finally clicked so i went to the doctor. i feel a lot better knowing that im not just a shitty person but like what the fuck now??? i just feel like im quantifiably damaged. anybody have like any advice on what route i should take? like support groups or medication? thanks :p
17 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 131478

Also to answer OP's questions even though she's not here anymore
My psychologist that was evaluating me and the psychiatrist who was managing me both told me CPTSD is more about therapy rather than anything else, medication alone can't help.

Psychiatrist suggested EMDR therapy, but it sounded so dubious the way she described it.
>It was pioneered by a woman who noticed moving her eyes around helped her cope with cancer
like, ok

Anonymous 131482

>>131475
if you have limited mobility, you could try just some of the stretches. im sure there's a way. they have chair yoga for elderly people, so im sure someone could do some kind of yoga if they were fat.

Anonymous 131483

>>131447
>>131482
also, i forgot to mention, somatic exercises have been helpful for me! i recommend sheBREATH on youtube. they are easy to do and help a lot.

Anonymous 131497

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>>131447
>>131483
Thanks for recommending trauma-informed yoga and exercises, will try it. On eating healthy regular meals and sipping water help me with the feeling of throat constriction and nausea around heightened anxiety and panic attacks, it's difficult to eat but reminds you you're still human

Anonymous 131511

>>131447
great advice ty <3


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Moid rant Anonymous 131476[Reply]

Why can't guys be consistent?

I haven't had a lot of relationships but the two I had ended on the same thing, guys act a certain way at first and once they have you they slowly stop doing the small gestures, the romance, the flirting, the effort, they stop being as compassionate and understanding. They slowly become meaner and ruder.

You will eventually find yourself having to discuss with them the fact that they aren't acting the same way, I don't believe there is a man out there that can keep consistent without being told to do so. Either that; or, they just tell you you're being dramatic and that they haven't changed.

What is the scientific or psychological reason for this besides selfishness? Who are they fooling and do they really think we are that stupid to think that "nothing has changed"?…

Anonymous 131477

>>131476
The scientific reason is when they met you dopamine flooded their brain every time they were with you so it was easy to do nice things and be romantic. after a while the novelty wears off and there is less dopamine so it's like watching a movie you have already seen 500 times and you just want to be done with it.

a mature man knows that doing genuinely nice things and serving they ones they love will bring them joy, even if it doesn't seem like it will.

also porn has rotted men's brains so good luck finding a good one.


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just graduated hs, what do i do? Anonymous 131170[Reply]

im going to a state school in august. i wanted to know, what is something you wish you did at this point in life?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 131187

>>131178
Back then i allowed my loneliness get to me and i started hanging out with people that i normally wouldn't. I became friends with people just because they liked me, not because i liked them, at the same time i was too afraid to make friends with people that i actually liked.

Anonymous 131272

>>131187
i get that, i hope you are doing well <3

Anonymous 131273

I also graduate a couple months ago and feel very lost, I didn't really have any friends left after high school and I don't know what I'm gonna do for work, my anxiety is eating me up and I can't even get out of bed until the afternoon most days. I'm tempted to kill myself but at the same time I know that wouldn't solved anything because eventually I'll be out of this bullshit and be looking back and be like "oh I can't believe I was so freaked out". I feel like I'm in some weird purgatory where I can't just calm down and relax but I also am trying not to let myself spiral out of control

Anonymous 131275

>>131187
> I became friends with people just because they liked me
lol yeah this usually ends up poorly

Anonymous 131445

>>131170
i wish i had stayed away from older men


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