/feels/ - Advice & Venting

You'll find that I'm losing myself more & more, not because I'm incapable of loving anyone else but you – but I'm forgetting you, I can't even remember what nicknames we had for each other unless I really sit and think, or if I go beyond my notes. I hate that I can't think of you and see your face anymore, your face is such a blur which is weird to say when your face is everywhere online. You and your friends can block me from your life, and you can think I can forget you but the fame you hold is to an extent where I can hear from you, or what you're up to. I wish one day you'll come home. I don't care how dirty you did me, all I request is a kiss

Cried about dad cheating on mom. I haven't told anyone yet. Just spiralling and asking chat gpt how this can affect me and what preventative measures I can take. When should I tell my mom. Should I ever tell her. Ugh. Now all day will be spent drinking coffee because I did not sleep and I have to study for an exam. I want a fat greasy pizza. This is my sign to work even harder in uni. Girls is such a fun show. I need a tarot card reading. Chewing five pieces of gum will really hurt your jaw.

This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.

I'm sure the subject I'm using has been posted here at least a hundred times but I believe this a slightly more unique situation.

For context, I met this guy online. Keep in mind he's much older than I am. (I have a preference…) We met online and chatted for about 6-7 months. During that time, we discussed me running away with him. Sure, I'm ready for a shortcut to escape my issues. I'll take whatever opportunity you give me, Mr. Sir. December of 2024 is when that internet idea came to real life. I ran away with him. I smashed my devices and left no trace of where I was last or where I was headed. No note. No verbal confession of either. I left with my last words being "I'll see you guys later."

I went on the run with him. I knew he was being looked for by the feds but didn't think much of it considering he convinced me it was purely over some discord scandals that happened years prior to us meeting. Sure, it struck me as odd but it sure as hell wasn't my first time running into somebody in the mix with the law for the wrong reasons.

We fled together. He did not tell me where we were going initially while we were online.. understandable lol. I loved this man dearly. We had our hiccups but, we always managed to overcome them.. When we got in person I didn't expect abuse as he assured me that he wasn't that way whatsoever. I was wrong to convince myself he wouldn't do that to me as he did. I was gone for just a month and a half but it felt like years. I ran to escape the exact things he would do to me. Eventually.. the case went national as they figured out I was no longer in the state. The fbi got involved and we were found after someone gave them a key lead.. his "identity."
We were detained at different times. I'm not sure who was first. I was taken by undercover law enforcement from the place we were staying and questioned about if we had any "activity" together by male officers after requesting female law enforcement.. I guess that's the least upsetting part of the whole thing..
I was returned home after questioning and holding. I still lied for him and covered his ass. I was not giving up the truth for anything. Not long after I returned back to my state, the lead detective on my case contacted my family and requested to see me.. nobody would tell me what for. So, I began to worry and get ahead of myself. A very long and excruciating hour and a half later, they arrived and I was met with the question of hisPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!

The whole phenomenon of this dude is proof that standards/body-shaming/fatphobia don’t exist for males. If the original post had been of a woman it would be like any other post and be lost to time. But because someone had the audacity to try to socially enforce any rock bottom, bare minimum physical standard for the sacred male, everyone threw a fit and he got a whole media festival of events, money and opportunities thrown at him for weeks on end. In real life a female is torn to shreds for not spending most of her mental energy on appearances, but something as febrile as “hey maybe a male shouldn’t be so fat he can barely walk” is completely socially unacceptable and would get you fired while every handmaiden within ten miles performatively throws themselves on his gangrenous fat-entombed micropenis.

Share any positive feelings or positive things.

Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love


Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl

I have pretty much no family that cares for me, I'm sure I've lost my partner at this point, I have basically no friends. And of course, it is my fault. I am extremely mean to the people around me and push people away with how insane and insulting I am.
I pushed my partner away because I am insanely jealous (over nothing) and I start arguments (over nothing) and I am extremely selfish. I do not want to be this way forever. This has gone on so long my partner does not believe I can change. I know I can change, I want to change.

I have nothing left, I'm afraid it is already too late to prove I can change. I have been seriously considering the obvious. What do I have to lose anyways? Who cares?

I just want to be better for my partner, I want to be able to have a healthy relationship. I want to stop being so mean. I want to change my behavior. Therapy and medication do not seem to help. I just do not know what to do at this point. I can't eat and despite only getting two hours of sleep, I am not tired. I am wide awake, I am starving, I am nauseous, and I am full of hate for myself.

How can I make myself better? I am a reflection of my mother and I do not want to continue living this way.

I understand obviously there's people with a lot more issues in their lives but I don't understand why I've been waiting so long for help despite actually seeking it out. Its been over a year without so much as a peep and I've been so super low it sucks. Do they want me to try to kill myself again or something? Do I need to go back to chopping up my arms? What's going to trigger them to get me the help I need?

22yo autistic girl diagnosed at 16. up until last year i never thought anything of it. that it was just some stupid label given by the doctors to label me as difficult and stuck up.
but now it seems my autism diagnosis wasn't actually a lie. i never had friends that i could get along with like other kids since i was 5 until now. people talking hurts my ears. i didn't really like any of my peers, they were always too outgoing and bright for me. they always did unsoliticed physical contact that made me so uncomfortable i ended up not leaving the house for the next few days. for some reason i cannot handle theatre audio systems anymore. i have to wear ear plugs just so i can watch movies on a big screen in film quality. everything sounds too sharp, like nails on a chalkboard. i cannot maintain eye contact with my psychiatrist and my therapist while talking. i talk staring at my hands while i fold and unfold the paper with my queue number on it (i bought a fidget cube so i can stare at my hands doing useless shit for as long as i need, paper degrades too easy). making exaggerated facial expressions like other people has gotten impossible. (people have gotten worried because my face is unmoving while i interact with them)
i feel like myself in high school where i hated everyone because i couldnt understand them for being so excited and so loud. now im in college and i can understand them more due to reading more philosophical/psychological topics on the human mind. but no matter how much i fucking "nerd out" i can never be truly human and day by day i feel more and more detached with humanity.

i'm turning into a sociopath. the more i have to make myself acceptable to society the more i feel like i am disappearing. this sucks. what if i really disappear and when i do have a chance to be a mother to a daughter, my rhetorical daughter will hate me for being so emotionally flat/empty/dead inside?

say that my dreams of raising a daughter better than my parents raised me will never come to anything. it'll hurt and i'll cope with that but, there are some days i feel so detached and not myself i have this slight unease if i murder family. i already hate my parents so i feel like they'll be the victims foremost if i do lose myself. but what i'm scared of is being so far gone. i commit murder in catatonia and get assessed in court in a catatonic state. no longer human, no different than an animal.

chat im going insane and i dont thinPost too long. Click here to view the full text.