/feels/ - Advice & Venting

most women are deluded when they think they meet a good man. all my life i've never met a good man. until i met this one. his behavior was akin to Jesus Christ. it seemed as if it was physically impossible for him to do anything which even mildly inconviences anyone, let alone hurting anyone. as for me, it seems like i am physically incapable of doing anything but hurting people. to cut it short, he absolutely did not deserve what i did to him. i met him online and within less than a month of dating i got blackout drunk and cheated on him. like an idiot i talked to my friends about it because i cant keep my mouth shut about anything. i talked to my best friend about it and what we decided was since it was so early on and i genuinely saw a future with him i should just move on from it. forget about it. so i didn't tell him. we kept talking.

we decided we wanted to see eachother in person. he spent $5000 on a plane ticket and an airbnb for 25 days. i started birth control- the Opill, 3 days before he came. the first 2 days were heavenly. then on the 3rd night we shared a bottle of vodka together. i was doing okay until i put on his boxers. i was reminded of what i had done to him. i grabbed a kitchen knife and started to cut myself in front of him. i cut my neck. then we went to sleep. the dream was over. over the course of the next couple weeks i just wanted to stay in bed all day. i kept arguing with him over the tiniest things. it was like i was constantly on edge. he said it felt like i was never actually there, never "lucid enough to have an actual conversation with." we only had sex a few times because he said he could only have sex with someone who he felt loved him and he didnt feel like i loved him. we didn't go out a lot, not a lot of "cute dates…" we went out to fast food joints a few times. then he broke up with me. he said we could still stay friends and he could keep "taking care of me" but we couldn't have a romantic relationship anymore. he said i should leave the airbnb for a few days. my best friend, who lives nearby where we were staying, asked for his discord tag because "he's a foreigner trapped in an airbnb alone and we (her and her roommate, an acquaintance of mine who also knew what i had done to him,) want to be there for him incase anything goes wrong." then i left to go home.

then it gets worse. basically to cut it short they told him i have something to tell him and i threatened suicide over it. i video cPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

ive been dating this guy for about 6 months and its been really good until recently. he's super sweet, attractive, intelligent, very much a catch. ive never been with a guy who ive felt so happy to be with and i havent dated in a while.

things were going well until recently, when we were hanging out at his house and i was sitting on his couch sans makeup.

thing is, ive worn pretty heavy makeup when we first met, and i haven't taken it off until now. i noticed he was being really distant and i asked him why.

that's when everything came to head. he reluctantly admitted he felt really disappointed with how i naturally look and he was more excited to date me when i was done up. he went on to say he felt lied to and that i look significantly different without it.

i had no idea what to say so i just told him that he shouldn't be dating me if it was bothering him that much. he told me he wasn't sure how to bring it up to me and that maybe we weren't as great of a fit as he originally thought.

ever since then ive been replaying the event in my head and we're still together, but there's now an awkward distance between us. ive been feeling really down about the whole situation and have no idea of how to move forward.

nonas, what would you do if you were me? ive never had this problem with boyfriends until this week and i now feel pretty insecure about my makeup usage. i have no idea if he still likes me and we havent spoken as much after the conversation happened.

i'd appreciate any advice. thanks for listening if you've gotten this far.

Previous thread >>117577

What do you hate and why?

anyone else genuinely painful to look at i stopped going to school at 12 because of total ostracization over my face getting harder not to blow my head off

Share any positive feelings or positive things.

Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love


Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl

What I'm about to say may sound retarded as hell. No, I'm not a tranny, but I don't like my boobs. I hate how they're just there to feed a baby, I hate how my entire body is just meant to breed, I hate how they ruin every outfit, etc. I feel uncomfortable with them, does that make sense? Like my body isn't my own. I wanna get them cut off, I wish I had a flat chest honestly. I have a B cup/average size, not too big or too small but I genuinely hate them. No, I'm not a tranny, I'm still a woman I just don't want tits. But I know if I said this anywhere else I'd get called trans. This is my first time posting here, usually I just look at posts but this is really the only place where I could get advice.

>>51270 previous bread

I never brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes

A thread for women to vent and share their experiences with being ugly and how they cope in this look obsessed society.

Previous Thread >>2119