/feels/ - Advice & Venting

For me I was just constantly confused, unhappy, and lonely. My youth was a rather unfortunate time of my life, I am much happier now.

always feeling different to other children, people constantly misunderstanding me, my emotional needs rarely being met and feeling so out of place and alienated.

Feeling misunderstood by my family, never outgrowing my middle school awkwardness, not being very good at picking myself up again after big disappointments and rejection, having difficulty imagining a good future for myself that wasn't an impossible fantasy where I was as beautiful as I wanted to be and as loved as I wished I'd been

>>128738
No he's getting an x-ray under anesthesia. Also rude

Im a neet for like 10months now because i had one too many mental breakdowns working with my dad. I mostly try to help around the house and take care of myself. I cook, clean, talk with friends on discord game, make art, read, but ive been going out on walks to get some exercise and fresh air. I gotta get my resume updated and start applying but im afraid to.

fuck around on the pc, browse my phone, smoke pot, harass my cats. I do occasionally go out for walks at the park and I definitely plan on being more active in the summer

I'm a NEET and I currently larp like I'm attending a uni studying certain subjects. Meaning, I just study something on a schedule for 1.5 hours with breaks inbetween and sometimes I try to plan what I will do. So far it made me feel better because I accomplish something every day.
Really a lot of these "subjects" are just my hobbies, but structured. Structure improves everything A LOT, it's way easier to manage your existing activities and introduce changes into your life this way. Always having planned downtime is good too.
I'll see how long this lasts.

>What do you do all day?
eat, jog, smoke cigarettes, read books (no young adult or "dark romance" slop), draw pictures, I mostly just draw pictures. My whole life Ive been creating characters and stories with them nonstop, its that maladaptive daydreaming bullshit I guess. I draw my characters, when Im bored of it Ill make collages for my characters, and when that gets boring too Ill write about them, listen to music that reminds me of them, or just simply fantasize about their interactions and their world. My creaions are the only topic that I am truly invested in and if I could I only would ever talk about them, but thats autistic as fuck and I am self aware enough to know that most people dont give a fuck. Most conversations with others feel like a drag, I dont care about their lives or problems and Im just looking for an appropriate moment to talk about my art

strawman^strawman type thread

>>129689
men will never give up porn. no matter which moid u get they will always want porn so if youre not ok with it you will never have a moid.

Go to therapy?
Porn addiction is an addiction, you can't stop it by wishful thinking and just saying "no stop that".
Think of it like training a dog, if a dog shits on your carpet or steal food from the kitchen you can yell all you want or even be abusive to the dog… but that's not how you make the dog stop, it needs conditioning and training.
Just talk with him, make him admit he has a problem and look for practical ways to end this addiction, maybe through therapy, taking part in some programs, joining some groups and whatever, he'll be extremely embarrassed but accountability can help dealing with this shit by using this embarrassment as a way to stop doing it.

The real question is if you actually love him or not, because dealing with an addict of any kind is an ordeal.

>>130011
porn addiction is not considered a real addiction medically speaking. it's not in any real diagnostic manual because what porn consumption is considered "healthy" is extremely subjective. A behavioral approach is sometimes taken if its really, really severe and the person in question sees it as a problem/is bringing them distress. OP can have whatever boundary they wish to set but a therapist isn't going to treat them for paying for a few OF accounts and having a porn twitter like its a serious problem unless they're a wacko fake christian therapist. sorry. if their boyfriend doesn't see it as a problem, which he almost certainly doesn't, it just won't be treated as one. i know people on here are extremely antiporn, but moral opinions aside, at the end of the day it's just not the same as being a crackhead lbr and won't be treated as such.

regardless i think OP should leave because they're bf is fucking bald and ugly. hello???

He doesn't deserve you. Leave him before you cheat on him or he cheats on you.
Or worse, he asks you to do something he saw in porn

>>129481
true as fuck
>>129429
Yeah ive noticed this too, People are blatantly rude to you when youre an ugly woman. Especially men. They are literally violent as fuck like gorillas. I hate them and im scared of them. Also nona, the guy youre with sounds like a total pos please have a back up plan in case you have to leave him

>>129555
shit sorry I meant to reply to >>129538

I feel like if you are below average and manage to bag a guy, it's still not worth it. He would treat you as a fleshlight at best, not romance to speak of.
Guys would court beautiful women only because they know their worth and are not easy, so that's where eleborate dates, flowers, sweet talks etc come from. As for beautiful women who don't get princess treatment… Girl, love yourself, you deserve better.
Anyway, going back to us uglies. We wouldn't get any courtship or respect because for guys, it's just not worth the effort and reserved only to pretty women, and even then guys will try to be cheap.
Do you want a relationship with a lazy slob who will get you on a single coffee date once and then just crush at your place for drunk sex while never showing you affection? Yes or no? Because that's all you'll get.
I know it because I was desperate enough to try having a relationship and it was the best I was able to get.
If it's okay to you and you have no self-respect, be my guest, go on and date.
But if you are an ugly women without a profound mental illness, please don't try dating, you will be treated worse than your partenered peers, you will compare yourself to other girls who get flowers and gifts, and you will hate yourself even more.

>>129429
what the hell is this and the nonchalant replies

no, because using people is not bad.

Found this about wrong turns and I wanted to share

https://spiritualherbals.com/post.php?title=when-nothing-in-your-life-is-moving-forward-the-spiritual-blockage-many-people-ignore

Love spells
Read about it and found out it was the best option
It worked
https://spiritualherbals.com/post.php?title=why-a-personal-spell-is-different-from-ordinary-rituals

No you're not bad, but be open about your true feelings towards him. Be honest since he is definitely putting so much of himself into this and has been good, he deserves the truth even though it will hurt. Leading him on is only pushing this conversation down the road and going to make it more difficult to separate. If hes still cool with doing all this for you despite your feelings, then thats on him. It will suck because its nice getting treated well, but he seems like a guy with a great heart and deserves to be with someone who is crazy about him. As well as you deservd to be with someone who will make yoh happy.

like salty bags of coins, milk and sand or something

OP are you abstinent by choice or not because you look great and I'm sure lots of guys and even other women would date you

Terrible and wonderful, depending on who you end up dating. Guys are either total moron apes with no sense of class, or absolute gentlemen but those are rare. I broke up wjth my long term gf of a couple years a few months ago and started dating. I got some matches on tinder and went on a couple dates, one of the guys was a complete fuckboy but i wanted to try out guys. He didnt hold doors, asked to pay half of the bill, drove a beat up old car, and was very insistent on going with him to an underground dj set that night. I left early and unmatched him. On the other side, i found an amazing guy that i wasnt too crazy about looks wise but we had so much in common,like playing same games and have similar hobbies, we clicked very quickly. He's polite, likes my jokes and goofy demeanor, holds doors open for me, and takes me out on cute dates all the time. I return the favor by cooking him delicious home made food he can reheat after he comes home from work over the course of the week.

The key is to not just look for attraction, but find a companion that will be your best friend and who you can rely on. Dating shitty guys feels like a waste of time and is unfulfilling, maybe you might get some action but its kinda hollow and tbh I get off better by myself. Try stuff out, get out of your comfort zone, and trust your gut.

Btw im 31 myself

>>130265
it was the best experience of my life, albeit that's because she was the most amazing, wonderful person ever.
but being single is enjoyable too

>>130299
its not actually op its catfish

>>130142
If you don't share interests, there's just nothing to talk about. A guy can pretend to care about your day sure but how long could that conversation last really? I don't know why people don't bring this up more often but if you don't share interests it's likely just not going to work out long term because you'll only be interacting for sex or you'll be forcing some half-assed interest like you mentioned. The big issue is there isn't really a lot of overlap between what most guys are into vs what most women are into and this is only exacerbated by internet algorithms. I really don't know why women go around assuming as long as there's an initial spark it'll all eventually work out in the end. Relationships take a lot of work from both parties and sometimes you're just not made for each other.

People in general and especially men are increasingly immature. The vast majority of people try their best in romantic relationships and often fail themselves despite their best intentions. Good relationships come with serendipity, it takes patience, persistence, and an openness to be surprised.

>>130142
this checks out all the boxes for a man that wants a gf just to take, never to give. so many men dont even like women or are interested in them in any other way than that they want someone to be nice to them, ask them about stuff and all of that. if they dont even want to know who you are and whats going on with you, they dont really love you, they just want a relationship with pretty much just someone to feel less lonely.

>>130213
>Validation from men?

Kinda, yeah. And I don't like how it resolved the issue /for me/ either. It's not what I recommend to everyone else - it's how it naturally happened for me.

Actually seeing how no-one gave a shit about the things I mentioned, especially the man I chose to be intimate with, just changed my view on how my body looks. It's like at that moment I understood that as long as I workout, eat healthily (most of the time) and try to look after myself then the rest is ok.

Plus I've explored my spirituality a lot more which has shifted my mindset, not to sound negative at all, but to me this body is a temporary vehicle to explore the world before I return home, a vehicle that was gifted to me so I should treat it with care - I don't identify so heavily with it's 'flaws' anymore.

Psilocybin (magic mushrooms)
LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide)
DMT (N,N-Dimethyltryptamine) and Ayahuasca
Ketamine (dissociative anesthetic)
Salvinorin A (found in Salvia divinorum)
Ibogaine and Mescaline

>>130213
Have you never had a man validate you?

Why should your value be tied to your looks or approval from others?

>>130249
It doesn't have to be but some people will treat you like shit for refusing to play the game. You can make the personal decision to just not care what others think but it can be an alienating stance for people who aren't strong enough to deal with what comes after.

You're not being too stubborn at all, I think you are noble, and I'm sorry about your miscarriage nona

>My ex says I'll grow out of it but,

Babe, that's not true. He either has no empathy or doesn't understand. You don't just grow out of something like that. It's your child. Even if it was a miscarriage, it is still your child.

It's always okay to feel how you feel, and your feelings don't suddenly go away or change, it's still you despite everything. You don't magically grow out of yourself.

If you've already broken up once, then he's an ex, and exes are exes for a reason. Clearly not compatible and not on the same wave length. It has nothing to do with age either. The cycle of breaking up and getting back together happens with teenagers, those in their 20s, those in their 30s, those in their 40s, etc. It's just a clear sign that they aren't the right person for you.

Sex isn't love either. Love is genuinely caring, being compassionate, having empathy, supporting, and being able to relate to how you feel without dismissing it as "Bro just grow out of it"

>sex genuinely hasn't brought me much good in my life

Sex isn't for everyone. For many people (both men and women) it's just entertainment. Men use women to entertain themselves. Women use men to entertain themselves.

Some women like to cater to those men and talk dirty ("my pussy is sooooo wet", "And I would really look forward to you fucking my boobs fast and hard with your dick until you explode all over them", "Which position do you want to try anal in first?" or "I’d also really enjoy if you lick both of my holes from behind while I’m on all fours mmm" etc), talk about various sex acts such as blowjobs, different positions, anal sex. It's all about catering to him and validation or they want to feel 'desired' and 'wanted' as if they are only useful for entertaining him sexually. The "PICK ME" women. The women who feel like they're not attractive enough so they have to go far and harder to appeal to men sexually.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I want to sincerely thank everyone in this thread.

I come to find out he has been cheating on me during the whole thing, and has become unrecognizable from the man I love. I haven't asked for him back or anything, but am I even more hurt? Naturally, it also turns out he's also a side piece so I'm just glad I wasn't the only one "hurt".

During the whole reveal, he wants to claim accountability but all he has done is try and justify his actions.

I hold no ill towards the other woman, in fact, I wish she drains him even more. He gave up faithfulness and love for someone who ended up seeing him as a walking bank account.

I'm glad I miscarried.

>>130233
I don't really have any words that could make you feel better but I just wanted to say I'm sorry that happened to you

>>130233
It take strength to say no to the hookup culture and you did the right thing. It's always better to have a men of quality than a quantity of men, it's a lesson we all have to learn one way or another.
Good luck finding the right one, don't give your trust too easily.