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Ive resent my bf for years Anonymous 126195[Reply]

I resent my bf.

I met him back when we were both 16, when we started to date each other, he seemed like a unique and honest guy, who i was truly falling in love with, we even got to know pretty early on that this was gonna be both our first serious relationship.

During one of our late night calls, he was at this birthday party with some friends of his, so our call ended sooner than usual. Couple of days later, we started dating for reals as a couple, and just a few weeks later I learned that on "that night" he kinda screwed with one of his closest friends. This led to a whole heated up argument that day, which eventually ending up in me still wanting to be with him.

Years later, I still havent forgotten about any of it. Ive become the most insecure version of myself ive ever known, whenever hes out i cant control my anxiety panics, i havent tell him anything, but i cant do anything but remember how i felt that day. I know this is all stupid, that i shouldnt make a big deal out of it, i know but i cant not think about it. and iknow that i cant really blame him for anything, since we werent a couple that day (we began the day after), he even apologized and cut friendships with that girl, but how could someone be telling me such delicate and romantic things on that call during that day, while at the same time thinking about getting intimate with someone else than me? How are men such incapable of perceiving love as us? Why arent they capable of not behaving like animals? I dont get it. I thought i wouldve forget it by now, i thought time healed everything, but every passing day i feel worse, i do still love him, but i also resent him SO much for it

Anonymous 126205

>>126195
It's possible to be in love with one person and also have some sexual attraction to someone else, especially in the early stages of a relationship when you're just starting out. One of my friends felt this way about a guy she met even though she was already dating someone else, but she decided to let go of those feelings because she loves her boyfriend and wouldn't want to hurt him like that. It was a fleeting sort of attraction and she never intended to do anything with it. Some people never feel this way about others while in a relationship, but if someone does, it doesn't mean they'll just cheat on their partner. It'd be a cruel and frankly stupid thing to do. Even if things are not going well in a relationship, normal people will break up (if they can/aren't in an abusive relationship) instead of cheating. For one, because most people wouldn't want to hurt their partner and also because being a known cheater has the potential to endanger future relationships.
>screwed with one of his closest friends
Sounds like he'd wanted to have sex with her for a while and wanted to do it before he couldn't anymore, presumably because he doesn't want to cheat. You can have sex with someone without it being that romantic, although a friendship can feel similar I suppose. I'd imagine that this step messed with their friendship anyway though. Probably also made it easy to cut ties with her.
>I resent him SO much for it
>I haven't told him anything
He did apologise and cut ties with that girl, but imagine if you confronted him now. Is there anything he could say to ease your worries? Anything he could do? Or just listen and be empathetic?
>I've become the most insecure
Can that one instance really do that? Did he ever flirt with anyone else in front of you or said things about being able to get with other women easily? Bragging about anything even close to that he could be a player if he wanted to? If yes, that's a definite red flag, but if not, he's probably fine, right? Maybe you should tell him about your insecurities regardless. In fact, why haven't you talked to him about it? Do you think he'll blame you for feeling that way, for not being able to let go, are you worried about him being angry about it? If you convey that Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



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Hate Thread Anonymous 118525[Reply]

What do you hate and why?
39 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125951

>>124862
I also don't get how so many people marathon crime shows or put them on as background noise.

Anonymous 125953

>>125949
moids are pretty good at reality denial in general

>Particularly in class rooms and in the professional setting, women are PERCEIVED to speak more than they actually do. If women speak more than 30% of the total conversation, it is PERCEIVED as monopolizing the conversation.

Anonymous 126175

>>118533
you could replace trump with alcohol and this post would fit well in prohibition. But That would hurt the nonas who cant put down the bottle too much to say

Anonymous 126178

>>125949
>Most incels would've been utter normalfags if it weren't for their appearance

And most women would be incels if they hadn't been born women.

Anonymous 126196

1755642306827.webp

>>118525
Rodents



bart~2.jpeg

On being uneducated Anonymous 126179[Reply]

While others are finishing their bachelor's,I'm learning pre-algebra and primary school biology.I was kept out of school and taught nadda,and I am reaping the consequences of such. I downloaded a plethora of books to study with. Despite embodying an autodidactic spirit with insatiable curiosity,I struggle immensely with self-teaching mathematics and hard science.
I live in an area with few options for adult learners, creating an obstacle in upgrading my education. The GED→community→college→>state school pathway does not exist here. Post-secondary here have prerequisite secondary school courses. I aspire to earn a degree, but the thought of being strapped with debt is sobering. Taking out thousands of dollars in student loans, where every payment goes solely to interest and not principal, being normalized is disturbing.

I'm insecure about my lack of schooling. Perhaps the adage 'insecurity blinds one to their greatness' is true; others describe me as well-spoken. I'm a fraud; I bury my incompetence in problem-solving using an expansive vocabulary.

School systems have watered-down curricula lacking rigour in order to widen the disparity between the social classes,even stooping to graduating illiterate and innumerate pupils,but the value of a secondary school diploma cannot be understated.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126187

>>126182
>I struggle
>hate myself and blame it on lazyness
>but really I think it's just being overwhelmed and paralysed by the fear of failure.
Indeed, I agree with what >>126183 said, it's not really laziness if you're struggling and paralysed by a mental block.
I don't have diagnosed anxiety nor ADHD but I find that some resources for those can be useful for people's mental health in general, like the stuff about Executive Dysfunction, being kind to yourself and working on ways to follow your own plans while handling anxiety and the feeling of being overwhelmed by breaking things into small steps, changing your environment, approaching things more slowly, stuff like that. What helps will depend on the person but for me, I work much better when I just have someone else to work with or alongside with, even if that's just strangers at the library when I study there. The change of environment helps too. Also, addressing the fear of failure, like, what does failure mean to you? Wouldn't there be a second attempt or another good thing you can do instead if this attempt at whatever you're working on doesn't work out? Also, the economy sucks right now and everyone is at a different starting position, so even if you struggle, don't self-internalise it all as your fault, things in society really could be better… Like, taking responsibility for bettering your life and trying your best is one thing, but you're already doing that and I think you can and should take pride in it.

Anonymous 126189

>>126186
Despite everyone having their strengths and weaknesses, and advanced knowledge in subject not being necessary for the layman, it is demoralizing to not have the algebraic ability to pass secondary school math courses. Unfortunately, no amount of hardwork has lead to meaningful progress in this domain. Even though dyscalculia exists, the myth of not being a "maths person" is problematic to me. It comes down to the quality of maths instruction, alongside the attitudes instilled in you towards math. Obviously, not every secondary school graduate is proficient in algebra. In fact, in many western countries mathematics performance is declining.

I am grateful for resources, unfortunately, I'm familiar with everything listed.Thank you for the effort anyway; it's much appreciated. Need not feel bad, I neglected to state I have an extensive list of resources I compiled.

I'm glad that you mentioned public libraries. Although, it's true that some public libraries offer workshops, tutoring, classes, and other resources, my public library is barebones.

Regardless of these resources not being relevant to me, I hope that it will help another adult learner. God bless sharing this information.

With that out of the way, I have an abundance of information I have yet to make use of. My problem lies in navigating a poorly funded adult education system. Not having equivalency is creating immense issues for me. Essentially, I'm unable to progress in life: lots of jobs are inaccessible to those with less than a secondary school diploma, and universities often gatekeep access to higher education for those without a secondary school diploma. Although, it is likely I can go to university a mature student, the standard admissions require specific secondary school credits.
The quality of adult education is abysmal. Society does not see the economic benefit of uplifting adult learners. What this means for me is I am trapped with obsolete correspondence courses without guidance, despite it wreaking havoc on my wellbeing. As an educational neglect survivor, who was denied enrollment to secondary school by my parent for being"retarded", trying to overcome these challenges in a system that does not support me is exhausting.

It's well understood that learning is hindered when in a survival state. For me, formal education is a necessity. CertaPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 126190

I haven't done any schooling since I was 14. I have passable verbal intelligence, and that fools people because my words are all they're interacting with, but I have middle school level knowledge in mathematics, science, everything else.

Ultimately I think I'm just built for unskilled work, for the same set of personal flaws that had me drop out of school in the first place.

Anonymous 126191

>>126190
Unskilled labor is important. Earning an honest living with a menial job is commendable. It's okay to not excel in skilled trades, or regulated occupations. After all, these unskilled jobs are often essential to the functioning of society, we cannot all be white-collar workers.

For those who are deficient in mathematics and science,which rely heavily on critical thinking, abstract thinking, and problem solving skills, the ability to present your ideas verbally and in writing coherently is a mask. Admittedly, this feels like hiding that you are an imbecile. However, imposter syndrome causes you to feel like you are a fraud even when you are successful.

Although the circumstances of anon are unclear, I sense that they have low self-esteem based on how they are talking about themself. A minor who dropped out is in crisis. A well-supported teenager does not make such a life-changing decision. Not to mention, when a teenager drops out, their parent, or guardian has to be okay with their decision. In a household where education is valued, and the parents are in tune with their childrens needs, dropping out would not be on the table. It is okay to grieve the opportunities you lost for not graduating high school, but enduring struggle does not make you worthless.

Anonymous 126192

laconic inarticula…

>>126191
>the ability to present your ideas verbally and in writing coherently is a mask
It's not inherently a mask, it's its own skill.
I know people who are well-versed in math but really struggle to convey the most basic information in a comprehensive manner.



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unlovable Anonymous 126136[Reply]

e-bf of 10 months pronounced my name wrong and was fully convinced its the right pronunciation. i will never be loved or seen properly.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126139

>>126136
there's your mistake

Anonymous 126140

you're being a bit dramatic

Anonymous 126169

"e-bf"

Anonymous 126181

try girls next

Anonymous 126185

>>126181
predator



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Anonymous 126121[Reply]

If both female and male friendships/relationships feel awfully transactional and fake/one sided for me then am I absolutely cooked nonas. Destined to be alone beyond romance?

It feels so much better being alone but very lonely than having to be offended and hurt just because I'm not the way someone wants me to be. I'm only worth talking to when it's convenient or when they have no one.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126138

>>126128
Expecting me to listen to all of their problems but I can't even talk about myself for once, and guys just expect me to read their minds and boost their egos blindly. When I'm quiet I'm weird to them, when I talk normally I'm still weird to them, humans are so complicated…

Anonymous 126145

>>126121
>transactional and fake/one sided
That's actually how all relations have always been, for everyone, ever.
No matter the form of relationship.
It's just all the lies fool many.

Anonymous 126146

>>126145
>That's actually how all relations
That's actually how all relationships

Don't know how that typo happened. Meant to put relationships.

Anonymous 126173

calm.png

you're just intensely antisocial, it's usual to find at least one person you have a genuine connection with and it doesn't feel transactional. maybe you're just autistic and can't socialise well, whatever it is, you shouldn't seethe over it as seething is pointless and only hurts yourself

If you feel better being alone, that's great, but don't get caught up in the doomer mentality that nobody could truly be your friend, or it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy

Anonymous 126174

>>126173
I don't think OP's struggles have to boil down to autism or some other pathology. Lack of good socialization examples during childhood can easily lead to this. Whatever the cause, she's probably trying to connect with the wrong people. You're not supposed to be friends with people who make you feel like a weirdo.



__hijiri_ageha_and…

Anonymous 125858[Reply]

How do you handle seeing men for who they really are, not the idealized “prince charming” version we grew up imagining in anime?

Everywhere I look, I see cheaters, manipulators, narcissists, deadbeats, porn addicts, and abusers… and it feels like they’re not the exception, but the rule. Men are always more likely to leave then women when their spouse and children get ill or born sick. Men are always more likely to cheat and have side bitches. They don’t listen, they only make repeated attempts to make it sound like they know more than you about everything.

There's no care, no love, no empathy, no compassion, no understanding. They don't care if we feel safe or not. Men only want women for sex and the moment they get it, they move on.
13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126133

i breakdown over it like 4 times a week its genuinely doompilling

Anonymous 126148

>>126006
Because you're a degenerate here to trashtalks women? Masculinity by itself breaks down everything in its path and leaves destruction behind. Not much else

Anonymous 126149

>>126014
Just some bs you picked up in Pakistan

Anonymous 126156

The minute you detect he’s just in it for sex you switch to being in it for resources.

Then find yourself a richer foul minded guy to marry because there’s no point being with a poor foul minded guy.

Anonymous 126172

>>125858
OP, i would like to inform you that this is not a unique trait of men, this is a trait of all human beings. Your mind will delude you into believing that there is such things as "pure" humans or that some people are good or better than others, but that is not the case. YOU AND ME are both horrible people depending on who asks. YOU AND ME are both great people depending on who asks. You seem to understand the concept that every person who you see is horrible, however you're blinded by your own personal bias as YOU see women as yourself, your friends, your mother etc, and the only POV you have of men is from the POV of a woman, which raises the point that the same could be said about women from the POV of men.
>reddit space
The message i'm trying to get across is that you shouldn't group all your hatred onto one group of people. That causes constant internal seethe that will just make you miserable and such.
You should understand that most people are horrible, and that ignorance is bliss. Choose to ignore these things, while staying cautious thoughbeit.



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Anonymous 126152[Reply]

Have known a guy for a year or two, but never pursued anything because distance. i originally met him in a group chat, then eventually told him how i felt. not soon after i ended up moving to the same state for personal reasons, not knowing he lived there.


i feel very strongly for him. he feels similarly. ive never felt this way before, but i don't have much romantic experience. dated two people in the past, had a situationship (?) that ended poorly i guess. he is everything i like in a guy. emotionally intelligent, kindhearted, giving (but not a pushover), patient, and kind.

he thinks its 'fate' because we fit so well. i am religious, so I guess it could be. but im a little nervous. im not concerned for myself but for him. if things go left i will be fine. sad, naturally, but okay. but hes put a lot of faith in us. he thinks im in his life for a reason.

ive decided that no matter what, ill do the best i can for him. i really do care for him despite my fear. im mostly afraid of hurting him, the last guy i trusted took advantage of me and i let him, until i couldn't take it anymore and decided to be worse. i don't want to do that to this one, because i can tell his heart is good.

i made him cry, by mistake, already. i realized then that i needed to do better. i told myself that so long as i live i would never hurt him again. it hurt so much hearing him cry, so I only want to make him happy from now on. im a little scared ill hurt him, but ill figure it out somehow.

Anonymous 126153

Gh-0wYwb0AAFiJ3.pn…

Okay..

Anonymous 126159

>>126152
So have you ever met in person?

Anonymous 126160

>>126159
yes, frequently



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Autistic and Suicidal since Childhood Anonymous 126122[Reply]

I am 23 now and haven’t been able to hack it since I was a little kid. I went to the psych ward for the first time when I was 8. It was the only way my parents could get me to stop hurting myself. They put me on Prozac for all of Elementary school. I was in and out of the hospital or sent to residential until I was 19. (Trust me, I don’t hear the end of how expensive it’s been to keep me alive)

I have been in love and living with my boyfriend for two years. I told him about my life long struggle to keep myself on this planet but I think he's just now starting to realize how retarded I am. When in work or school I struggle the most (in college atm). I don’t think to eat, drink water (my legs have been cramping up for 4 days now) or clean myself until he makes me. I’m obviously fatigued and am having violent meltdowns often that scare him. I’m trying to better myself for us by working or going to college but It feels counterintuitive even though I know that these are the next steps I should be taking.

I’ve had 6 jobs that onset the same symptoms that I would either quit before doing something stupid or do something stupid that would cause them to fire me. I’ve dealt with being abused in the workplace for being autistic, making me do more/stay longer than everyone else because I didn’t know better. My mom waited all night for me to come home and told me to never let them keep me 2 hours after closing, especially if everyone else had already left. I had a manager grab my wrist and tell me that my very old raised/healed sh scars were disgusting and that I was an idiot to have done that to myself. She called me an idiot daily even though she was the one training me. I had accommodations in Elementary/Middle/High school to help me get through but in the real world you do not get accommodations.

I feel loved and supported but I still struggle very hard to see myself being able to hold down a job or take care of myself. I make attempt after attempt, I haven’t given up but it’s been so hard since the very beginning.

Can anyone else relate to finding it very difficult to keep yourself on this planet from a very young age and it not getting easier despite trying to get better? And I’m not talking about “I was depressed as a teenager so I didn’t think about what I wanted to do after high school so I’ve been working at the grocery store for a couple of years in the meantime.” I’m talking about couldn’t even hack 1st grade. CannotPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 126124

i-think-they-like-…

I'm not autistic but I also often feel like I'm not cut out for this world. I don't socialize well and I try to take small steps towards improving when I can, but it doesn't feel like I'm doing any better. Idk how but I think you write really well OP, maybe you could do something with that?

Anonymous 126125

>>126124
Mistyped, meant idk what like idk what you could do with your excellent writing ability job wise, f me

Anonymous 126158

>>126124 Thank you for responding! And thank you for the compliment! :) I feel that my love for writing is a side effect of wanting to express myself as effectively as possible. I’ve also been told that I write well and creatively by a lot of people that I respect. You might have sparked the questions I needed to ask myself so I can solve my dilemma. It is probably just as simple as I am killing myself to pursue what my heart is not in. It’s a tale as old as time. I need to stop crushing my spirit.

I feel frustrated by capitalist ideology that teaches us a person’s worth is equal to the amount of blood, sweat and tears you can squeeze out of someone. There are much more important things to bleed and cry over than money or the pursuit of it. I am in the fortunate position where school is my sole responsibility and is being paid for with grants (as long as I don’t fail). I could most likely succeed in an area I am passionate about haha! I think I will tough out the rest of the semester to the best of my ability and switch majors to an area of interest next semester. I will see how I feel about winter classes.

I hope I didn’t lose you after all of that rambling but now that I have a clearer head, I can objectively state that this world does not value what is important. Trying to play by rules that make no sense, when you can see that they make no sense.. would reasonably drive anyone crazy I would think!! But I do not know how anyone without support can escape this fragile system made out of fragile systems without waiting for them to fail. I am very fortunate to have support. I think good people know intuitively what is important. As long as we keep trying and do our best to be better than we were yesterday by our own metrics as well intended people, we are valuable. It’s only over when you have given up. ❤️ Thank you for listening again if you read this and hang in there!



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Positivity. Anonymous 116556[Reply]

Share any positive feelings or positive things.

Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love


Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl
47 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125417

I cleaned out my bookmarks!

Anonymous 125996

My hair was getting long so I chopped off about 4 inches. It felt good.

Yesterday I was given oreos. I haven't had them in a long time and I ecpected them to be underwhelming but they were really good.

Today I was complimented on something I've been working hard on.

Anonymous 126062

Fall has the best food. I love sweet potatoes and chestnuts.

Anonymous 126147

I just had a large free lunch. And the food was good. I got a bit of everything offered, unlike everyone else, it seems. And I alone got seconds on pizza.

Finding good luck, and necessary things, as a homeless.

I also received Poplar's Hood from Fallout 3, but in real life.
The real-life one is green and black and woven of yarn.
I actually needed an item like that, too.

Anonymous 126157

I got sick this couple of days which gave me the opportunity to have the longest nourishing sleep I needed. I love to go into the dream world and see what’s there.



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How do you deal with hopelesness for the female species Anonymous 122690[Reply]

Everyday it's more clear to me that women will never be free, it makes me feel suicidal even. We are nothing but pets and will NEVER stop being pets, even if that were to happen I'll be dead by that time. What the fuck do you do from here that isn't giving up?
19 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 124373

>>122690
Women have been free in the past and are free in some places. Women can be free again. Join separatists and work on being separate. It may not work on a global scale but it will for the women who care enough like you.

Anonymous 124374

>>123569
a fellow SCUM sister I see

Anonymous 124378

>>124373
Join a female only commune. There is only two that I know of, all of them full lesbian but you can create your own if you have enough good willed Nonas with you.

Anonymous 124381

makeup die like th…

>What the fuck do you do from here that isn't giving up?

there is stuff you can do. one of the most important things that i don't see any of you do is to promote a life in reality. a real life based on reality, not a life based on following narrative.

Anonymous 126135

i cry for a bit. i have discussions with my female friends who share the same views so its a bit cathartic to know im not the only one aware.



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