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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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i don't think it's requited Anonymous 116796[Reply]

hello nonas i kind of need advice kind of just need to vent. about a boy
i've known this boy online for a while and we never really talked privately, but i wa offline then came back a few months ago. he was one of the first ppl i reached out to, mostly to be added back to a gc, but i also sort of had a crush on him and just kept thinking of him after a few months of being single.
we talked n realized we were visiting the same city at the same time, and he thought i was cute too. we met up and then we slept together. it was actually really sweet and we stayed up talking a lot. then he invited me to go to the next city with him. i said yes. we spent like 5 days together there and met his friends together and everything, and were 'acting like a couple' . he even peeled an orange for me around other girls lolol he didn't know the meme though
anyway on the 2nd night in the 2nd city he was a bit drunk but he told me, when we were back in the hotel room, "i think i might love you [after this i kind of short-circuited so the next part is paraphrased], as much as possible for how much i know you". i told him i was n love with him. he said we were "yeah, dating i guess" next morning. i told him i love him again at some point and he told me not to be irresponsible

it's been like 2 months since then and he still is not deciding if he wants to actually date me or not. we are basically as long distance as possible, like i think his city is one of the longest flights from mine, on a global scale, so also different countries. but i really love him i'm so obsessed with him. he's also much smarter and more attractive and successful than i am so he is way out of my league and it is a little intimidating. i have never "dated up" before and i've also never been rejected.

nonas is he leading me on or how do i make him make me his girlfriend
or how i do deal with rejection if it's inevitable lolol
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 116800

>>116796
>he still is not deciding if he wants to actually date me or not
Means no, unfortunately. Men know really early on if they want to date you, and will be eager to "take you off the market" asap.

Anonymous 116802

>>116800
yeah i was thinking the same thing. however we are "exclusive" and not seeing other people.. i do not know why he won't label it though

Anonymous 116821

>>116797
whats wrong with your heart? I also have heart problems

Anonymous 116823

It sounds like a relationship born out of spontaneous passion that was bound to burn out quick. I don’t think this guy knows what he wants and probably isn’t prepared for a real relationship anyway. Sorry to say but I don’t think it’s meant to be.

It’s ok. I’ve been here, and it’s sad, but you can make it through.

Anonymous 116836

>>116821
sick sinus syndrome, i had an eating disorder and it messed up my heart bad even though i recovered

>>116823
this was my fear and it hurts to read but i think it is true. i've told him i want to know what is going on and he keeps it very vague. disappointing bc he said he wanted to date seriously but i guess that's fine, i'll get over it eventually



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Anonymous 106726[Reply]

post yr ideal partner
303 posts and 74 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 116404


Anonymous 116659

>>116401
You can do so much better

Anonymous 116677

>>116401
No way one of my friends posts on CC

Anonymous 116784

800wm.jpeg

>can give me citizenship for any of my desired countries
>under 35

Unironically, where can I find one? Most people want to come to my country, but I'm sick of it. It's cold and boring here.

Anonymous 116805

>>116784
where are you from?



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RED FLAGS? Anonymous 116540[Reply]

I've never dated before and need to know if this guy showed red flags. I would love any insight at all on any of these. I'm going to list some things he did or said in as close to chronological order as possible. But this all happened over the course of 5 months

1. spent years job hopping/bumming and smoking weed bc he wanted to be a rockstar after dropping out of college
2. got hired by his dad after a few years and moved back home(but works hard tbf)
3. generally just came on strong at the beginning, reading my tarot and saying i look like a saint/goddess
4.
5. told his whole family about me and showed them my pictures after the first meet up
6. told me he loved me the first time we met up, cried when i didn't say it back (i did not take this seriously but told him we could keep talking because he was crying)
7. said he was kind of autistic? (don't care)
8. has a cat (petty of me)
9. told me he liked me because i remind him of his mom while we were having a break up convo
10. would forget information i told him
11. would complain about food at restaurants as we were eating
12. didn't like spending money despite saying he wanted to spoil me
13. told me he felt we were going so slow when i felt he was going pretty fast for an online relationship
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
43 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 116696

>>116685
IU don't even understand why I'm grieving. I don't think I can ever go through this again
>>116686
I know i have to get over it… I really let him gas me up and now I'm a wreck because I've never had that before. I can't believe I'm grieving a lack of attention or friendship. Or Maybe I do love him

Anonymous 116703

>>116540
I'm coping by watching videos that are saying he wasn't going at a healthy pace with me.

Anonymous 116740

>>116540
Guys idk what happened but I feel so much better now

Anonymous 116759

>>116540
Nevermind i fucked up my hair lol. God I miss him

Anonymous 116794

Guys he misses me I know he does and I miss him. What mental illness is this? All thius because I HUGGED A MAN????? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REEEAAAL????



animesher.com_haru…

pros/cons of your bf Anonymous 105405[Reply]

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!
189 posts and 20 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 116771

>>116770
If he's ugly af its a deal killer though. Harry doesn't necessarily mean ugly. But holy fuck ugly is a deal killer. Why should we give them what they refuse to give us? If we're healthy and strong it means absolutely nothing to them

Anonymous 116772

>>116753
You're going to end up dead, nona.

Anonymous 116778

>>116753
>ex convict
>ex military
girl run

Anonymous 116779

>>116778
dont worry i will rip his fucking eyes out for her

and staple his nuts to a highway overpass

Anonymous 116781

>>106204
Update: we broke up. Not because of any of the reasons I mentioned here, but because my career aspirations were stronger than his and he had family stuff tying him down. I was starting to resent the fact that I was doing way more work/school than him. We were great together emotionally but oh well. It was on good terms.



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How to make friends when you stereotype people? Anonymous 116775[Reply]

I would like to make friends to have someone when I go out places (store, mall, out to eat) but as a girl it’s hard to make friends when you’re not an “OMG GIRLIE YOUREE SO PRETTYY” type of person.

I feel like so many girls on my campus are like this. Idk if I’m autistic or what’s wrong with me, but I struggle to act like that.

Anonymous 116777

>>116775
Whenever i meet people like that i always eventually become aware they are begging for scraps in life (from men) and i lose interest. I don't want to get roped into what comes with that. There are a few who are not like that and their gems. That is just a fact of life everywhere and it has nothing to do with being autistic.

Anonymous 116790

I get it, women like that often end up treating me like a man and it can be alienating.
Find women who are shy and awkward or who have a history of trauma. The latter are more accepting even if you aren't hyperfeminine in behaviour yourself.



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am i cursed or something?? Anonymous 116716[Reply]

idk if this is the right board to post on, or if i should move this to /x/… but is it possible to genuinely have permanently bad karma or be cursed or some shit? in the past 6 months alone, this is everything thats happened…

> house gets broken into by 2 men while im home alone

> really sudden and severe anxiety and depression resulting in a months-long disassociative episode that won't go away
> fallen off so bad from school / my grades so suddenly that all my teachers are surprised
> entire friend group fell apart even though we were very tight?? happened so suddenly??
> found this cute guy, talked to him, got his @ and found out he has a gf of 2 years.
> was put on meds for anxiety but the meds ended up making me so ill i missed / flopped an exam then proceeded to get the flu the following day,, its been 3 weeks and i still have a nasty ass cough lol
> guy #2 ghosted me after one message
> guy #3 ghosted me
> noticed by artist I liked who suddenly ghosted mid convo :skull:
> my first therapist dropped me because he thought i was beyond help
> girl i went on a date w/ turned out to be an insane psycho
> second therapist goes on leave for 2 months when i coincidentally need help the most
> anxiety meds don't work on me
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 116747

>>116716
I used to practice witchcraft as a teenager and yeah, curses are very real. If rooted with demonology. My advice is to go to a catholic parish and talk with your local priest about it. When it comes to demons in cursed places, police always call the catholic or eastern orthdox priests. But by personal experience I advice you to go to Catholic ones to confess and also ask for a minor exorcism.

Anonymous 116755

>>116747
I’m not catholic, nor have I ever really engaged in spirituality outside of doing shoddy tarot readings when I was 14. Does this still apply? Lol

Anonymous 116761

>>116755
You could still try to do what i said.



bianca-devins-was-…

Why do people genuinely make each other miserable most of the time? Anonymous 115085[Reply]

Most of what I saw growing up was gaslighting, being told im crazy, women getting trashed / revenge porned or being cut down for being this or being that. Having their minds fucked over by family, men, other women, and living as fragments of a human being.

So I decided i hated people and society and wanted nothing to do with them. I want nothing to do with what society wants from me as a woman and if you're going to spurn me for it id like to dump acid on your face. I just don't understand why other women go along with it, and pretend to be happy when i know they're genuinely miserable. I see them complain about their expereinces day in day out. Why do they strive to play out that whole farce and pretend and make each other miserable for the sake of a shitty performance when you can just duck out of society and have nothing to do with men or shitty misogynistic women, or any of it??? I always try to understand this. It doesn't matter how you look as a woman you will get trashed, gaslighted, and have your sanity destroyed by somebody.

I really never saw much else growing up. I have to vent because it makes me disgusted and want to stay inside for eternity.
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 116603

>>116589
She begged to be killed openly on her instagram. She didn't deserve it, but she literally asked for it.

Anonymous 116604

>>116603
You said she didn't deserve it so idk what the purpose of pointing out her 17 y/o edge posting is

Anonymous 116628

>>116603
what? Do you have the specific post where she asked to be murdered? She was probably making a joke/exaggerating…

Anonymous 116721

>>115085
> Why do people genuinely make each other miserable most of the time?
> Most of what I saw growing up was gaslighting, being told im crazy, women getting trashed / revenge porned or being cut down for being this or being that.
> So I decided i hated people and society and wanted nothing to do with them.
There is your answer. Most people who treat others like trash have reached a point where they just don’t give a fuck about others for whatever reason. Sometimes it is not always because they’ve been hurt but because they’ve never cared. Other times, yes, they become jaded because of negative experiences. But if you treat others with the same antisocial regard (where you hate other people because of stuff SOMEONE ELSE did), then you are contributing to the “why do people treat others callously??” thing.

Anonymous 116751

>>116603
Her last words were literally her begging and screaming for him not to kill her.

when i was 17 i wished someone would kill me, was i disturbed enough to say it out loud? no but nonetheless i was disturbed. A mentally ill teen is not to be taken at their word, least of all senselessly and violently cut down for it.

and Even if she did (which she didnt), “Mercy killing” a young able bodied person who has fallen into bad circumstance and can get better with support and love isn’t mercy killing, it’s just plain murder.

i dont understand what perverts some people to take out their perversion and hatred for the world on a random mentally ill suburban teen who has never done anything to harm anyone



__hilda_and_tepig_…

Anonymous 116666[Reply]

What was the most fun/creative date you’ve ever been on?

If you've never dated, what are fun/creative dates that you would like to have?

Anonymous 116668

Wanna go to an amusement park for a date. They look cool in movies and TV shows.

Anonymous 116675

This was circa 2020, in the throes of corona virus when there was lots of places closed and restrictions on crowds etc. Bf and I got take away food, I baked some slices and we drove to the mountains bordering my city and spent a couple of hours stargazing/teaching ourselves how to take long exposure pics of the Milky Way whilst we had a picnic. He has a Ute so we lay down in the back and watch a few comets go by.

Honestly one of the best nights of my life.

Anonymous 116712

Does staying home, doing drugs and fucking like rabbits count as a date?

Anonymous 116714

not really creative, but probably the most interesting first date
>plan to meet in the city and get a coffee in the morning
>have hot chocolate and churos
>walk along the foreshore and talk
>it starts to rain, he breaks into a construction site so we can wait it out
>go hang out in the city, just walking around, taking pictures for my art blog and seeing things
>my ribs ache from how much he made me laugh
>take a train together
>there's a problem with the track so we have to get off and walk to our final stop
>run from overzealous security when we take a shortcut
>talk about some pretty serious things and I'm kind of exhausted so I'm just honest about my trauma
>hold hands and he gives me his backpack to shield myself from another downpour
>run into a movie theatre
>get some drinks and immediately fall sleep on his shoulder in the dark
>he thinks I want to go home and mentions his place is nearby, so walking me back won't be a problem
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 116729

>>116666
I usually just go on hikes, long walks, and eat out at restaurants or cafes for my dates.

Don't know what movie fantasies ya;'ll be living, but count me jelly.



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Should I dump my bf? Anonymous 116653[Reply]

I met this PhD guy years ago back in college (I'm a dropout now , whatever I still make decent money with my current freelance job). Though didn't really start dating him until recently. We were just kinda "there" in each other's lives for a while. But here’s the thing:

>I have been an ADHD loser all my life.

>I have literally zero friends IRL.
>I spend most of the day in front of a screen
>Hard pass on almost every moid who's tried to hit on me

At first, I was kinda into him, even kissed him a couple of times, but when it comes to sex? I've got the libido of a rock, like… literally zero interest, but I was always like this, I don't know why, I think I might be asexual, although I like the idea of having romance with a man and a good relationship, I don't understand myself. We’ve been together for some time and still haven't done anything. And tbh, the whole relationship's gone cold this year, especially with him constantly traveling and me just… existing all day in my room chatting and my freelance laptop job or doing ADHD-OCD things (worst combination ever).

I think I've caught the ick. At first, I thought he was cool, now he's just cringe. He tries so hard to be this "nice guy" but I just want him to be a little rough if he wants to have sex, because I can't get horny easy, and I like that style where a man is super into you and loses control. Is that too much to ask? But nope, "too violent," he says and thinks I only want this because of truama a coertive abusive relationship I had with a moid once who I've developed stockholm syndrome back in my mid 20s (I also never had sex with him because of distance, thankfully but he managed to make me send him a bit intimate stuff through coertion and emotional blackmail). And I'm not asking to get beat up, just a little passion. Whatever, it’s a turn off.

Casual sex? Disgusting. So no experience there, obviously. Every time he tries to initiate, I shut it down. Every. Single. Time. Plus, I'm converting back to Catholicism, so it's probably better if I stay chaste until marriage anyway, and the chances of marrying him are every day lower. So should I just break up with him already?
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 116684

Definitely dump him, it sounds like you guys are not compatible at all and are wasting each other's time. You're obviously not into him sexually, and you seem barely into him as a person. Let each other go and experience new stuff. Or at least go back to existing for yourself without the stuffy, mediocre presence of someone who is always just kinda "there."

Anonymous 116698

>>116683
Why do you think Nona is depressed? I'm not OP but she sounds just like me which is why I ask

Anonymous 116709

>>116698
I'm OP, and yeah, I think nona's right, I'm probably depressed. Seasonal depression? Who knows. I stopped taking my ADHD meds because I'm pretty sure I was misdiagnosed. The only thing Concerta was doing was making my heart race like crazy. The weird thing is, in the summer I get more manic, like I'm super excited, work a lot, and then boom, burnout. It's a rollercoaster and it sucks.

I never had friends in school either. Used to be fat when I was a teenager, had health problems, but I fixed that. Still, it's like I'm stuck. Gonna start working out soon, maybe that'll snap me out of this lethargy. It's winter here, so that probably isn't helping either. Feels like I'm constantly in "low battery mode."

How old are you and since when do you feel like I do?
>>116683
Oh, and the worst part? This abusive dude wasn't even my ex. He was in a relationship with a woman and they had a child, and they basically "hunted" me, I posted on a forum that I was suicidal and the woman contacted me saying she was going to be my friend, offering me this so called "community." Where there were a lot of nerds. Then her partner ended up being a blackmail situation in a culty group where I got coerced into doing a bunch of humiliating stuff because the dude wanted an "harem" he said I was boring and asexual and wanted to "corrupt" me (gross moids being gross moids) and since I was even more insecure than I am now, he managed to manipulate me very well and even gaslighted me me into thinking that I was evil and needed to be "fixed".

Anonymous 116710

girl he's cheating on you. if he's traveling, especially if you haven't been putting out, he's definitely cheating. moids are like that. you have to be really careful.

it sounds like you have a lot of other issues in your life that you need to confront before getting in a relationship. and he doesn't deserve you, especially if he's not turning you on.

don't settle. find you a real man.

Anonymous 116713

Damn, I would kill for a guy who openly hates the idea of being violent in bed and respects how I'm affected by being an abuse survivor, but I digress.

It sounds like you're just not into him, so dumping him would be less excruciating than trying to make it work.

If you're really not sure, make it clear to him how you actually want him to conduct himself in bed, and if he still can't bring himself to trust how you really feel, it's time to break it off.



57F07597-257A-43F1…

Positivity. Anonymous 116556[Reply]

Share any positive feelings or positive things.

Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love


Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl

Anonymous 116708

My favorite places are forests next to bodies of water. The water makes the most beautiful colors reflecting the sky and trees, especially at sunset. It's not hot out anymore and the air smells nice now that the seasons are changing.
>>116556
That sounds lovely, I wish you could post a picture. Every city should be like that.



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