/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Might want to sit down and write some fanfiction about where do you think that insane chemistry would take you if you choose this other guy. From the post we don't get much, just that you like his talks.

It will help you understand how much of what you're seeing is actually there or just things that you wish were true when there's not much in reality to support that idea in your head

>>133678
Do not. Do not listen to this.

There are going to be lots of moments in any relationship where other people seem enticing. This is normal. Other people are going to seem more exciting because you don't know them. They are fresh, they are new, they are different.

And that is entirely why this is a mistake. You have a perfectly good boyfriend. You know him, you feel safe with him, you feel comfortable with him. You've spent a good amount of time with him already and you know you that you're compatible together.

You haven't actually dated this other guy. You don't know what he's like in a relationship outside of how he wasn't ready to commit to you earlier when you were closer(red flag).

You're already emotionally cheating given how much you're fantasizing while interacting with him. Your boyfriend doesn't know and won't have to know but if you go further you might just end up with someone who isn't consistent and will leave you with nothing while losing your current boyfriend too.

thank u all for the replies. I want to elaborate it's not that i'm idealizing the guy. we were friends for a while and I started to fall in love with everything i got to know about him. For me new people aren't 'enticing' at all because I want a connection before anything else. In my opinion friends to lovers is the way to go. That's why it's difficult with him because we already have a history and I know him. And truthfully his qualities resonate more with me than the ones my boyfriend has.

>>133681
your comment brought me back to reality. You're right it's crazy to think about breaking up for someone who isn't even clearly communicating with me. When we had the conversation he showed regret not being more direct with me and asking me out. But he still isn't doing that- maybe because I told him i didn't want anything more. Then again, I also said he could always text me if something was up. So he knows he could ask me. Instead he is making playlists with my name on spotify and telling me in the description to reach out to him. I won't interact w that anymore. If he actually were to communicate w me I'll say I'm in a relationship now.

thank u nonas <3

>>133677
yeah you should break up if only because the longer this goes on the more it will hurt your current bf when you inevitably betray him

>>133685
You will break up with your current boyfriend so you might as well do it now, think of it as charity so another girl who’s satisfied with just one good man can have him

tell us how it's going op

op will stay with this man until he kills her. the end.

Op got tired of making shit up for (you)s

I basically couldn't contact anyone or use the internet for my own safety. Recently I was able to get a new phone to job search with. I'm doing so much better now. I'm going to stay at the shelter until the divorce is finalized, which is going to take a while. Honestly scared of being found, but I've been told I'll be ok if I keep being careful.

I would have never been able to last this long without giving in to fear and anxiety and going back if I had tried to leave on my own again. Financially it would have been impossible. I made the decision, stayed in a hotel for a night and got sloppy drunk and posted on here, then went straight to the police/shelter. It was worth giving up everything I was scared of losing. I still have lots of anxiety but I'm really excited and positive about the future. Everything is so much easier now.

Take a nice long walk outside and see all the trees and grass. If you live in a hellscape city then look at the boring buildings instead and realise that a lot of this isn’t a problem. It’s a hobby, not a virus, if you truly have a problem with things “taking over your life” it normally means you need a balance. Humans all have things that fill in the small blanks to make things enjoyable. Sounds like you have too much time on your hands if you have to worry about small pleasures becoming big constant ones. Indulge in “media” a little, but bore yourself a lot with basic responsibilities and make time managements for yourself.

>>133719
I know that this isn't a problem that's why I called it gay and its minuscule compared to other threads on here. Its all really just avoiding doing things I like to steer clear of unhealthy attachment nothing else. It wasnt my intention to make this sound like a big deal despite the text length.

>>133718
I forgot kids cant read and somehow think that is a flex

>>133720
What did you want by making the thread? If you want to act like it’s not a big deal (it isn’t, but I get the feeling you're a little bothered by it) and you’re obviously not looking for any input, this could’ve been a thought that just stayed in your head, or even a vent in the already existing thead. Gotta love cc for all of its lame posts that die out in a day

This is a common issue, dw. Although I'd advise you to not get into new interests based on how popular they are, you can make friends with other people even if your interests aren't carbon copies of each other.
>>133731
Let the girl fucking complain holy shit you're all sociopaths

I’m gonna miss you, my handsome bf. Well, I guess you’re not my handsome bf anymore. I’m still in denial about it, I don’t want to delete the folder I have full of photos of you and our messages, nor do I want to scribble off the date on my calendar when you were meant to come down and see me. I understand this is my fault, I was too harsh with you and I hurt you. I hope one day we can be together, even if it’s another lifetime. Thank you for everything Jay, I will love you forever with all my heart, my little plane autist.

>>131887
>>132979
>>133080
>>133219
>>133407
You're all so depressing. It's just a moid. There's so many of them out there and I can promise you that your moid will talk to you again if you message.

I miss you more than I probably should, and I wish we could’ve done all the things we talked about. I regret fucking it up when we were so close to actually having it all. I guess what hurts most is realizing that maybe you never felt as deeply about me as I did about you. I hope someone loves me one day as much as I loved you, and when they do, I hope I never hurt them the way you hurt me. I just wish things had turned out differently.

Go fuck yourself, i wish you had the mental capacity to think before dating a unstable and recently woman but i guess if your dumbass couldnt figure out you were 'cupioromanticc' (whatever the fuck that means) earlier then you would have known it was a shitty idea to do that either.

It's my fault too for being dumb enough to date you during that moment of my life, but whatever, fuck you anyway.

I'm writing this for me, but it's for you. Once I've written out what I want to say to you, hopefully I'll be more at peace with it.
I miss you, of course, even you can probably figure that out. I wonder if you miss me too, but I'm pretty sure that as time goes on, you'll probably notice things you disliked about me and you'll be at peace with lightly disliking me and leaving me in the past. But you did say that you don't hold a grudge against me, and that you'll remember our time together fondly. I'll try to trust you instead of just going with my own version of what will happen, I never really trusted you and I'm sorry about it, although now I still can't say if that was a mistake.
I like you, romantically, I've never really told you outright like this, so it feels really nice actually typing it out. One time you accidentally said "I love you" to me and it made me feel really giddy. I've enjoyed holding your hand and resting my head on your shoulder pretending there was nothing more behind it. But we both know we'd be an awful match, which is why I always tried keeping it as friendly as possible, even though I failed miserably a couple of times. At least, you always seemed to be aware of this, and you expressed to me that you felt the same way. Dating or anything like that just wasn't in the cards for us, and I'm glad we never seriously considered it.
However, you've hurt me more times that I can proudly admit. With the things you say to me, sometimes I see the way you see me. Our arguments never were really big, but it was a warning sign that there would be more to come, because I could never change your way of seeing me. Sometimes I think you thought I was inferior to you, in some kind of "caring" way. Sure, I'm 3 years younger than you, but it was definitely more than that. You didn't see me like you see your other friends. By the way, since you're not reading this, I can say that a bunch of your friends seemed like pretty bad people, that annoyed me a bit. You always made excuses for them, sometimes I wondered if you were more alike to them than I knew, the answer's probably yes. I've had what you and I had a couple of times before, and it always started like this. Even though I cut things off soon, I'm pretty convinced that it would just have developed into something pretty bad. You already know this, but my pride is a big reason of why I let you go. I just cringe thinking at my future self seeing me forgive you again and again for crossPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>133672
That might be the move, but either way I think I'm losing both no matter what, and maybe I don't WANT to keep talking to her after this to be honest…
I've never seen or heard about a woman in a relationship rejecting someone because she had a boyfriend and and then trying to claw the guy back in while escalating things, it's like she instantly regretted it.
I just feel sickened by how she's treating her boyfriend, I would've never expected this from her, and this is just from what I've seen and what she has told me so I have to imagine the real thing is even worse.

>>133666
>EXCEPT that my friend texted HIM a couple of hours later.
LOL this slut was put in the spot and has been trying her absolute hardest to revert that.
That's just shameful, poor bf.

>>133667
B

>>133673
> I just feel sickened by how she's treating her boyfriend, I would've never expected this from her, and this is just from what I've seen and what she has told me so I have to imagine the real thing is even worse.
I don't understand. This is your own friend. Someone you're supposedly very close to. Don't you think it's possible that she could just simply be getting carried away?
Sorry Nona but if she's really your friend you'd have a little faith in her. You'd feel comfortable talking to her about your feelings. You're failing her by not coming forward.

>>133676
Yeah how old is the OP and her friends? This sounds so immature. Either they are very very young, or not as close friends as OP says.
>>133673
I hope my friends would approach me if I was in a period of my life where I'm doing something questionable that goes against my typical character.
>I've never seen or heard about a woman in a relationship rejecting someone because she had a boyfriend and and then trying to claw the guy back in while escalating things
Please tell me how old you all are. This is bog standard emotional cheating/monkey branching.

I'm sorry.

>>133653
Bro…

What happened? Who did it? Did you report it?

Let's rape them back

>Do you just eventually stop thinking about it?
Yes
If you're alone for long enough you'll sooner or later reach a point where you stop caring altogether, because there's no other option.
You can, if you want, counter some of the sadness by remembering all the things you aren't at risk of (or at lower risk of) by being alone, such as stds, stis, cheating, physical abuse, arguments, infections transmitted through kissing, partner perpetrated misogyny, betrayal, pregnancy, vaginal tearing, awkward moments that don't feel soft or funny but instead embarrassing, lies, judgement based on how you age, loss of love with the only one willing to give you affection/intimacy, nasty in-laws, your partner using porn.
But nothing will replace the void of wanting someone to share your life with, there is no cure for it. The pain only dulls

>>133489
Surely a sign of mental well-being

>>133482
idk if this pov will help you since I'm in a different moment of life but, having a pet is indeed a nice way to cope with loneliness.
I got dumped couple years ago through phonecall. It really hurted me since it was a long distance relationship so intimacy was a rare thing and cute words were few of the things we used to share each other. Hurted even more knowing that I'm a really shy and introverted person, dating is a pain in the ass with my personality and my looks don't help either.
During that period of time, my cat got her sterilization so needed a lot of care. Passing so much time with her calmed my anguish of the sudden breakup and nowadays me and my cat are quite close, she likes sleep on my lap while I study or play games. Not every cat likes contact but if you are clingy enough with them during their early days, kittens end liking being hugged or getting pet unprompted.
Reading and exploring hobbies you didn't tried out before also helps a lot to cope with the sadness being alone for too long carries with.
Im sure youre going to find the affection you need sooner or later.
Hope I explained myself a little I'm ESL, I wish you the best.

>>133482
I apologize if this becomes rambling and off-topic.

I've only experienced affection a few times in life and they were brief. There were short relationships that I entered into over the years, but they were devoid of affection and my attempts at it made me feel rejected and used. For a long time, I just acclimated to it. I forgot about my earliest experiences with romantic affection because it was so brief and happened when I was a teenager. It was easy to forget it had happened at all. My later experiences feeling so taken advantage of and rejected for wanting tenderness made it feel even more distant and hazy.

Last year, almost exactly, I was pulled into a whirlwind romance that I was unprepared to handle. The idea that I could be desirable has always been alien to me, but I was going to therapy and I was trying to build up my confidence. I didn't think love bombing was a real thing, but she told me she loved me very early into the relationship and I was stupid enough to think she meant it. In fact, I second guessed myself - was I taking advantage of her? Was I using someone vulnerable? I always do that because I think I'm this ugly, terrible monster and she was so beautiful and beautiful people don't take advantage of ugly monsters because they don't need to. It made me deepen my commitment. When she asked me to tell her I would never leave her and never abandon her, I told her. When she asked me to tell her I would love her forever, I did. Every time I told her, I believed it and somehow I convinced myself that it went both ways - if I would never abandon her, she would never abandon me. I caved the moment I felt like I was really being loved. I realize now she was just using me to get over her last relationship. I was very stupid and naive and pathetic.

It still upsets me to think about what I did and what I accepted for her. I comforted her when things were hard for her. I listened to her when she needed someone to talk to, even when I needed someone to talk to. I endured her horrible, mean parents who always found something to find me unworthy over. I put up with her friends who said hurtful things about me behind my back, things she knew I was insecure about. I let her into my home and I let her sleep in my bed. I made myself small for her because she wanted to feel like she had power over something and I wanted her to stop fPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I guess I just pour myself into personal projects, I wouldn't mind being supportive of someone in an emotional way though I think it's good to have someone to talk to

Join clubs! I went to the board game club and found friends there.
After 3 years I still talk to 0 people in my classes.

>>132499
Go talk to that guy who had a crush on you. It's easy.

>>132504
My college doesnt offer clubs except for singing and dancing, i dont reallly enjoy any of those :(



>>132506
he's a big time retard and wants to fuck me, i donot like him and i can bear his retarded personality he's all about flexing

>>132504
>board game club
Fuuuuuuck no

>>132499
happened to me too nona. some places are just weird as fuck. make friends online instead

That old man was an inhuman monster. There are still good people out there; they are just much harder to find now.

No, allowing yourself to be the victim of incestuous abuse will only make your life a trillion times worse at least. You should tell somebody about this especially if it happened while you were a child

>>133465
Based on the fact she called him "her grandma's husband", instead of just "my grandpa", I'm assuming she isn't blood related to her abuser, which would mean it wasn't "incest" technically. But it might also be some language barrier thing, maybe her first language isn't english, and thus my interpretation is faulty, as it's based on subtleties in the phrasing of her statement. Or she said "my grandmas husband" as a way of coping, because confronting that he's her genuine, biological grandfather is too difficult for her.

>>133481
Banging your in laws/step family is qualified as incest in some places where it's illegal though. And I doubt him seeing her as some sort of granddaughter wasn't part of the appeal for him

The only way is to name and shame your abusers, post his picture

do what you can

It's not hard to be friendless, a lot of people are friendless in 2026. Usually they make do with family even if it's one or two relatives. As that doesn't seem to be the case for you there's not much else to do but gamble to be more open and vulnerable so you can find somebody to trust and get a close friend at some point.

Life will still feel like a drag in the meantime, but you know that's no real reason to end it.