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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 126886[Reply]

if a man in your experience tended to listen to songs that mirrored his emotional state. and it turned out he had been listening to music that was basically either throwbacks, soothing instrumentals you know he listens to for anxiety, and otherwise pretty much entirely songs about being in the wrong and the kind of man who ruins his partners life without trying so they should stay away. like music about realizing too late you were wrong and it’s too late to apologize or redeem yourself. wishing you could go back and undo what you did. that you didn’t mean to hurt that person. that they were evil and dark and beyond redemption. would you believe they were sorry? would knowing someone didn’t intentionally hurt you make you feel better? especially if he was presenting a happy face to everyone and his music taste was alarmingly suicidal when it wasn’t before. he did not send me the playlist and we use different music apps. he’s just been silently listening to this stuff for years. is he sorry? is this a truer indication of his feelings than him trying to contact me and apologize?
32 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126998

>>126994
Hey nona. The fact you're self aware about this is already a huge step. You don't need to save every animal or person that's in distress, it's another way to create a toxic environment. In fact you should be saving only yourself and people who won't inflict harm upon you. Many bad situations can be avoided this way, so hopefully you can find some solace and agency in this idea.

Anonymous 127001

>>126998
those tik toks of animals with days to live have been upsetting me so bad lately. i keep emailing shelters near me to get in touch with them because i can’t have a dog on my floor and i rent. the amount of suffering in the world drives me insane. i guess that’s why i even care someone who hurt me is depressed. he let me suffer alone when he knew i was hurting. there’s just a part of me that can’t be like that towards someone when i know i’m part of it. i wanted him to say sorry and then for it to be over. not for him to be silently suicidal and think the situation is so far gone i wouldn’t care if he apologized and he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. cos like the greater implication scares me. what if no one ever forgives each other for anything and we don’t fix climate change and the whole world is just backed into a corner and the whole earth ends.

Anonymous 127003

>>127001
I actually understand you a lot…
Still I hope you remember that unless you take care of yourself nobody else will. Please put yourself first nona, and your loved ones if you have them
also these tiktoks are 100% made by manipulative mfers

Anonymous 127011

>>127003
i’m glad at least for the ones connecting dogs on death row to people who have confirmed they’ve saved them at least. i tried to show my local shelter the shelter needing animals transferred out and i hope that eventually no animals have to be put down and they can just be moved to areas with not a lot of strays like where i live. it like destroys me inside seeing this stuff because there aren’t any kill shelters within driving distance of me at all so it’s hard to do anything when the most urgent need isn’t local. i try to focus on wildlife rehab and conservation stuff here. i feel like i obsessively need to focus on fixing things or the weight of the world starts driving me actually insane.

Anonymous 127040

>>126989
he’s not secretly venmo-ing me and if he wanted me back it would be a temporary psychotic break. i think this might just be your best friends boyfriend.


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Anonymous 126999[Reply]

would you stay with someone who punched a hole in the wall? thread pic is an example not the hole.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127015

no matter what it is he was upset about, destroying things out of anger is genuinely manchild behavior. what i would do is tell him to grow up.

Anonymous 127024

at best he can't control his emotions and damages your home/belongings. at worst this is a warning sign for future domestic abuse if he can't control his violence when upset

Anonymous 127026

>>127024
he was reacting to something that happened to me to be fair to him. it did scare me though.

Anonymous 127037

>>127026
clear sign he thinks of you as his possession, dump him

Anonymous 127039

>>127037
honestly we already had a huge fight over it and made up but he also called me his woman and it made me cringe so much. i’m “your” WHAT? we barely know each other and i low key want to bail still


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Hate Thread Anonymous 118525[Reply]

What do you hate and why?
41 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126175

>>118533
you could replace trump with alcohol and this post would fit well in prohibition. But That would hurt the nonas who cant put down the bottle too much to say

Anonymous 126178

>>125949
>Most incels would've been utter normalfags if it weren't for their appearance

And most women would be incels if they hadn't been born women.

Anonymous 126196

1755642306827.webp

>>118525
Rodents

Anonymous 126984

Men who play games all day and the only way they’ll interact with you is when you play co-op or they need you to relieve a bodily function.

Anonymous 127014

>>118525
is this a carricature of nevada-tan


animesher.com_haru…

pros/cons of your bf Anonymous 105405[Reply]

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!
331 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126235

Pros
> has job that would survive AI job takeover apocalypse
> right amount of chubby
> tries his best to do things right by everyone
> decent morals
> is funny
> has interesting things to say

Cons
> does not practice what he preaches
> lies by omission unless you figure out the precise question to get the truth out of him
> completely impotent due to former(?) porn addiction
> brown

Anonymous 126987

>>126126
So untrue it is crazy. If a man was larger than me I would know other women were constantly trying to hide their smirks at how fat I looked. It would trigger my body dysmorphia. Every time I see a woman larger than her man I take a picture of them from behind and draw their outlines and it’s so funny. I once saw a woman who could fit almost three of her boyfriend’s waist in her fat body. I love it when she’s a head taller and her shoulders are wider than his and you know they can’t share clothes. And it makes men insecure and hide in the house and not want to be seen with you. Like play games all weekend when he would have wanted to show you off instead.

Anonymous 127006

> use ctrl f
> type porn
> 45 mentions

0_0

Anonymous 127008

>>126987
are you a new schizo or one of the old ones

Anonymous 127009

>>127006
i feel gross for even thinking of it but it makes me so uncomfortable knowing what men do online and having to wonder about it. i never want to be in a relationship again with someone i know is like porn sick. the absolute stomach lurch from hearing men casually mention all the porn theyve watched. there’s just no way it doesn’t change the way they view women. and it makes me want to cry they want to do those things to me and see me like that rather than like a nice girl who loves their soul.


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Anonymous 126216[Reply]

I Made A List Of Everything Your Doing Wrong and This Argument Seems Like A Great Time To Bring It Up
1 post and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126221

>>126219
No I Think You Need To Be Reminded

Anonymous 126230

>>126216
Literally whataboutism…
If it's unrelated, it's unrelated.
Unless whatever happened in the current situation is somehow caused by whatever went wrong in the past. But usually, it's something that's caused by not having fixed something that had already been wrong in the past. But even then, you could focus on solutions instead of just faulting someone to put them down. Some list shouldn't be the end of a discussion, even if the argument likely requires some pauses because people need time to process emotions and if they don't take the time, they might opt for whatever solution is the fastest rather than most effective.

Anonymous 126234

tumblr_lxrbghZhlU1…

Ok Kanaya Maryam

Anonymous 126985

>>126230
There are some things that are always going to be relevant. If someone did something like cheat or put their hands on anyone even in the past, every action of theirs should be weighed against it like “Should I bother dealing with someone who leaves the toilet seat up when I know he cheated on me?” and the answer is “No.”

Anonymous 127005

>>126234
kek


Hikikomori_,_Hiasu…

/rock bottom/ - general Anonymous 76609[Reply]

This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.
211 posts and 24 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125611

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In the end it really amounted to nothing, not that life was meant to be to my liking. There's something utterly wrong with me. I don't know where to go but am I supposed to go anywhere?

Anonymous 125666

Retarded boiler in my room started leaking so I put a bucket under it and prayed it would go away. 2 days of bedrotting later the bucket has overfilled and the leak has gone down to my living room forming a big bulge on the ceiling. Probably gonna have to call someone to look at it and they’ll have to go into my depression room. Also I have the worst social anxiety ever. Fuck my life.

Anonymous 126933

Not rock bottom yet but I'm getting there, everyone is currently treating me as if I did something horrific just because my performance at work hasn't been the best for the last few months, this is even stretching into my family thinking this

Anonymous 126990

>>125666
You should be evicted for letting water damage happen. I hope you get sued.

Anonymous 126997

>>126990
i think they own wouldn’t it be their neighbors living room if not


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Anonymous 125860[Reply]

Why is everyone telling me to stop making excuses when I'm just trying to explain how hard it is to get up in the morning, how hard it is to talk to people, and how hard it is to remember whether I brushed my teeth?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125871

>>125870
I'd say it's pretty normal to not want to get up in the morning if it means having to deal with some assholes who berate you all the time and don't even want to listen to you. Some people are just incapable of dealing with a human they have power over. And some of them are parents. Best of luck nona.

Anonymous 125882

>>125860
I've been there. I promise, it can get better, even if it's a slow process…
But yeah, you're not "making excuses", you're struggling and those people could help you instead of pointlessly complaining about what you're actively suffering from.
But some people simply don't get it. It can be so frustrating, I've had breakdowns over this before with different people. It's a special kind of hell when people don't understand you and you try to express it in different ways and rather than just taking you by your word, they pretend like they can relate somehow and totally get it but by what they're saying, you can tell that they really don't…
I hope you have a therapist you can talk to at least… And that you're getting support, even from the people who don't fully understand. I'd hope they're trying to help at least, even if they're apparently quite bad at it.

Anonymous 125884

>>125860
They don't understand because they never had something like that happen to them. Unfortunately depression is something very few people can actually understand or even sympathize with, people always think there are worse things in life etc etc Trying to explain to them is useless because they will always try to rationalize it when it's not something to rationalize.
Give yourself time, try read things online, self help and care can help a lot

Anonymous 125932

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Radahn, stop being a baby and brush your teeth, they smell like your sister´s rot

Anonymous 126988

>>125932
Wish I could say this to my best friends boyfriend. Imagine getting a new relationship when you’re so depressed and have no hobbies and friends and your new gf has to fix his self esteem cuz his “CRAZY EX” made him sad. And your entire first year of dating is you and him against the world baby. Meanwhile his ex is a normal woman who got cheated on and wouldn’t take him back. Who he still pines over publicly. While my best friend picks up after him and he pretends this is his first real relationship and he was the victim in all his other ones or “it just didn’t feel right like it does with you”. And what feels right is living like a depressed loser but she pays for half of it and does all the chores.


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Unsent Letter Thread Anonymous 115657[Reply]

Previous Thread >>2119
501 posts and 29 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127052

Wish I didn’t spend our last conversation arguing. I miss you my sweet boy. I hope we’ll meet again in another life. And in that life, I would love to grow old with you.

Anonymous 127053

simon says come over, bend over, touch your toes, of course i’m gonna do it, just doing what i’m told…

Anonymous 127056

i’m pearl harbor in your blocklist. just say hi.

Anonymous 127073

>>126904
Let me guess, one of those suicides where his accounts are still active? Please message this loser with the hope of getting back together, when he answers destroy him. They always respond nona, like the pathetic animals they are.

Anonymous 127074

>>127073
Always works on people like this


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Ugh short guys... Anonymous 126821[Reply]

There's a gorgeous guy at my local library who genuinely looks like a fucking josei character irl. But he's unbelievably short. Like, literally around 5'4 compared to my 5'7. Such a shame…to have such a pretty and well defined face on the body of a little boy. This world is cruel.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126906

>>126867
It literally is, he really expected women to be like "ohh that's so true sis slay" so he could take a screencap n bitch and moan in /r9k/ lmfao fucking loser

Anonymous 126908

>>126906
there’s like five women here and a bunch of men spamming. why do they care about this place? because it’s not morally evil inherently like lolcow is so they want to punish the women here more for just being nice and chill?

Anonymous 126910

>>126821
i miss u

Anonymous 126944

I'm 5'0" I'll take him

Anonymous 126981

>>126821
Truly embarrassing. You want to be three inches taller than your partner? You want to look down on his balding head and have everyone around you constantly notice you have wider shoulders and other embarrassing things that automatically make them and their relationship superior to you and yours? Being larger than your boyfriend is like having more money or a better job than your boyfriend. It’s like having a bigger body count than your boyfriend.


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dating ppl you’re not physically attracted to Anonymous 126942[Reply]

dating ppl you don’t find attractive is actually one of the most selfish and cruelest things some ppl do to each other. i can’t stand how some ppl actually think this is a virtuous act and think this makes the love you have for someone more valid. stop doing this. you’re way better off alone than doing this to another person.

Anonymous 126943

>>126942
This happens like extremely rarely anyway

Anonymous 126948

>>126942
You're right, and you also helped double convince me against even thinking about messing with this guy tonight. I was caught between "is he cute or the only guy dressed well tonight" and that's probably enough of a reason to just not.
I've been on the back end of that scenario, it's not fun. he was a porn sick guy who really didn't care about the woman's looks so long as they had a large cup size. I am small chested and eventually he sprung the "gift" of implants on me. And yeah it would be using the guy in a gross way, even if he technically is interested (but with a presumably excited and willing partner which I guess I'm not). My thoughts for getting with him absolutely are not virtuous though, I am lonely and post bad breakup with the aforementioned asshole lmao. I think some girls with uggos are like me, and some probably have low self esteem too like one of my friends who absolutely could do better than her ogrish Redditor bf

Anonymous 126959

icl my boyfriend is hella ugly

Anonymous 126973

>>126959
mine too lol but im so into it he's just so unique i need him. only problem is i cant stop thirsting over randoms bc theyre attractive. its too bad attractive men dont have personalities


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