/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>107147
I'm sorry about your poodle nona. It sounds like you had a very close bond with him. I have the feeling I'll have a similar situation as you in regards to always tearing up when I think about my cats passing. He died in my arms, and it was devastating knowing there was nothing I could do to save him.
I think you're right though, in regards to getting another cat later down the line. Right now I can't even imagine doing it as no other cat could ever replace him. But I also know that I wouldn't actually be replacing him.
He was so talkative and I really regret not getting any video recordings of him when he was being chatty.
For any pet-owning nonas in here, take as many videos and photos of your babies as you can. You never know when their time will come.

So sorry, anon.
Yes, I lost my childhood cat (and best friend) when he was 15 a few years ago. It was awful, I broke down sobbing at work and felt the deep emptiness of his missing presence to my core. I'd always be expecting him to come around the corner or slip into my room and onto my bed like usual.
My mother encouraged us to get a new kitten a month and a half later, and even if it felt like betrayal of him I'm so happy to have her! Like other anon said, she's so different in her personality that it doesn't feel like a "replacement" as I feared. I could never replace him after all, it was just meeting a new friend to help the healing process.
The period with no cat felt 6x longer than it actually was though, fuck.

All this to say, don't feel guilt about making a new friend but also only do so when you feel ready. And take as long as you need to mourn both he and your life alongside him. 14 years is a long time filled with what I assume to be some of your early memories if he was your first cat (even if you got your first cat at 20, that's young in a different way). Take time to appreciate his companionship during your ups and downs and growth. Also don't let anyone make you feel silly for mourning a pet.

I lived in a big house in the rural area of a city for most of my life, so I've had more pets than the average person. Still, I always grief for months when my pets die.
Like >>107168 said, adopt another pet when you feel ready. Helping an animal in need is the best way to honor the memory of your pet. You're not replacing them in any way, I have so many good memories of all the pets I had. I'll die one day too, but until then I'll love and care for as many animals as I can.

>>107168
>I'd always be expecting him to come around the corner or slip into my room and onto my bed like usual.
I'm so sorry nona, this is exactly what I'm going through with my cat. He'd always jump onto the bed with me at night time and be purring away until he fell asleep. I miss him so much.
>>107169
I do actually have two other cats that I got last year. I just don't have as strong a connection with these two.
Originally I had two cats, the one who just died plus another who died at the start of 2022 (kidney disease). My senior cat went into a bad depression and stopped eating after she died, which is why I got the other two cats. So you could say they were his cats, and he became his happy self again once they settled in. Thankfully they seem to be doing okay without him, I suppose because they have each other. It's just so strangely quiet without him because he was super talkative, and they don't meow at all. I hope I can grow closer to them with time.

One of my cats died recently in about October or November. We're not sure how, he was found dead under my sister's bed. No blood or throw up or anything. I miss him badly, my remaining cat seems so lonely and confused without him. I hope there's an afterlife for pets and that we can be with them again one day, I miss him badly. My aunt's dog died over the summer too and my childhood dogs have been gone for a while

>>129712
It's a moot point because I passed it anyway

>>117334
this was my post from over a year ago. we broke up about a month after and sometimes I still think about it. I spent years getting groomed online after childhood SA. At 17/18 I decided I was done with being taken advantage of by older guys and that i wanted to be with a cute and nice boy, and that’s what I thought I had. my mother was so abusive to the point where an older bf was a better adult figure in my life despite being so disgusting.

he took my virginity that I was saving for a “cute nice boy”, and it was the first time a man put his hands on me and I actually wanted and enjoyed it. it feels like shit now. I chose the very thing I was running from just because he was cute, young looking, and “sweet”. I wish it could’ve been a nice boy I liked in highschool or something. I sometimes still try and convince myself that he wasn’t weird and that it was okay so I don’t feel like an idiot who was taken advantage of again. how the fuck do I even come to terms with this?

I should’ve seen it coming. the way he followed me at 17 when I was in high school, started liking my photos a bit after I turned 18.
I’m 19 now and I could never see a high schooler and think “wow I can’t wait to date them when they’re 18”.

to any young nonas, please don’t make the same mistakes I made. I spent 7 years of my life being taken advantage of time and time again because it was all I knew. you deserve real love, not predation

>>129713
Congrats!

I have a really bad self esteem since I started getting bullied as a child. I'm 20 years old now and I am almost giving up on college (and life, in general) because I feel too ugly to go out. I genuinely think I look deformed. a few days ago started getting so paranoid looking at myself I started searching all syndromes that caused face deformities and tried to find one that looked like me so I could justify my uglyness. people always say that there is much more in life than just looks but what is the point of living if everyone thinks I am a monster. kids laugh at me and boys are disgusted. I am broke and I can't even afford surgeries. I measure my face all the time, and compare it to the "normal measurements". I stare at myself and force myself to make weird faces in the mirror to look worse. my friend once said I looked like a deformed child. everything I do and like is funny to them, for "no reason". I see perfect looking girls all the time outside. all of them are so pretty. why just not me? I am so tired. I wish I could shoot myself in the face so nobody would see me ever again

Why do women like when their boyfriends sexualize them, when they’re just trying to be comfortable ? Like when they’re at home, sweats on, hair up, just trying to be a person and not a performer. As a woman you’re constantly preforming. You have to look the right way, act the right way, talk the right way, etc. your home is this place where you don’t have to do any of that. Until some dude moves in with you and has to comment on your appearance even when it’s incredibly obvious that is not the attention you’re seeking out. Maybe I’m just bitch

>i want to die. he wants to die.
You are perfect for each other. Start dating and you will both want to live.

whatever helps you sleep sir

>>129730
Well is the moid(s) you're comparing yourself to the people you wanna spend your life with? Cuz you may have a life partner

I want to kiss you but i don't want to fuck up both our lives

It's like Stockholm syndrome how badly I miss you sometimes, and I hate how much I don't want to

I just don't want to hurt your feelings

Please just come back one more time, but see me in person this time, please please please

i want you but i am too shy to tell you i wish you didn't leave

>>129599
i'm a real person lol my perspective is probably shared by most of the women on this website, so it's not hard to understand that i'm one among many

i'm just looking for community ig

>>129598
>i'm a virgin
stopped reading

>>129598
You seem like a lost cause.

>>129598
I'm bisexual as well with a heavy preference for men/masculine people. I personally avoid 'dating' cishet men as they tend to be the worst breed imo.

>>129598
I'm bisexual as well with a heavy preference for men/masculine people. I personally avoid 'dating' cishet men as they tend to be the worst breed imo.

>>127744
It’s like what people say about grief. You don’t get over it, you just learn to live with it. Just give it time is what I am saying, live life.

i constantly wear a full face of makeup and always have my hair done while only keeping heavily angle and lighting frauded photos in an attempt to delude myself into thinking i am prettier than i am. ofcourse, it doesnt work and leaves me with intense feelings of guilt due to being a catfish. I also try comfort myself with the idea that in the future ill get all these surgeries to fix what ive got going on, but in this economy i wont. being a 4/10 lanky, socially inept teen was a traumatic experience.

no matter what, I never seem to look put together ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ Worst part about having shit genetics

>>125396
moids love tall women. this is shortie cope.

Fixed it with one conversation because I forgot my boyfriend is an autist that needs me to be direct with my wants and needs 👍

>>129612
Any reason to not be direct? Maybe the autist is you.

We did it s, we saved her relationship!

dopamine spikes when you first meet, then you get comfortable with each other and see the flaws. the question is will you stay, or leave to find someone new and chase that high

It's been a month since I've stopped flushing the toilet. I hope you get the message

Come back to me. Come back to me so we can finish what we started. I know you still want to finish it. Don't even lie to me. Don't pretend you don't care. And honestly, I know I still tug at the back of your mind, but you won't admit it to yourself. So come back. Just for a little bit.

>>129616

Ima pretend this is him speaking to me.

I'll keep you around to regulate me but I will never ever be close to you again. I will never be vulnerable around you or allow you to touch me again. Keep thinking I forgave you but I'm actually gonna use you like you use me. And no matter what you promise I know you will run away again but I won't chase

my dear I miss you so much

It's been almost half a year since we last talked. Even longer since we were friends. I know you still like me. I can hear you start to talk louder when I'm around at school. During geography you avoided eye contact while bringing me my test but I could see you smiling. I was smiling to you too. You follow me every so often on spotify. Changed your bio to send me messages. You're so endearing, I wish you weren't so shy.

I know it is kind of my fault things ended but I couldn't keep waiting and only texting online. I want real contact. I think you understand that too. I was always planning efforts to talk to you, for example before exams. A shame you kept coming in late and had to sit in the front.

I miss your humor. You were so fun to talk to. Sometimes I read back our old, now ancient, conversations and find myself smiling. Somewhere I also think I might've took you for granted. I didn't see your spirit at the time. Now I see how sweet you were to me.

I wonder what I have to offer to you though? Looking back on our messages you were mostly carrying the conversations. I feel like I am too,, mentally ill. You are shy and have no experience while I've been in too many toxic relationships- though you don't know that yet. I'm afraid you might not be able to handle it, and support me right. I don't want to "infect" you either. Sometimes you skipped school after I did and it felt really shitty because I don't want to influence you like that. And what if you are just in love with the idea of me or the idea of having a girlfriend? Would you be okay not having sex? It is my greatest fear. I am too afraid to share all of my history with you- but that should be a part of having a partner.

I don't know. I also don't want myself to keep making excuses and not try anything due to my fear of abandonment and pushing people away. I mean, I'm not (yet) scared you'll leave me but more so, that we wouldn't work out and both end up very hurt. There's lots of "practical" reasons why we are "too" different to work but I still feel so strongly about you- that I wonder if I should just give it a shot.

I am planning on making more contact with you- just you wait. But you need to stop being shy. I hope that if you see I like you too- you have more courage to be direct.

When I can't sleep at night I think of you. I fantasize about us finally talking, going on a date. I want to hug and kiss yoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>129623
thank you sm! i love these

>>129623
these are unironically good

haah even posting this i feel like im close to a panic attack . im so scared of everything

maybe be happy on ur own before you can be happy with someone else. and then you can find the right person for you to enjoy life with

um for what it's worth i like the picture you posted do you have more cute images like that

sammmee im ruining my already ugly appearance with bulimia wooo! I relate to everything ye said so at least ur not alone. Is there a place in this world fr people like us I wonder