/feels/ - Advice & Venting

my current bf of a few weeks posted on reddit a while ago an admission to cocsa. there were frequent encounters, mainly against his little sister that’s over four years younger than him from toddler aged to unclear when it stopped. probably around middle school. he would also touch and show his little cousins things like porn and sex toys too. sometimes all in a group. he was the oldest by far. he told me it was funny and not a big deal. he also had a bpd ex accuse him of misconduct and dated underaged girls as an adult, but not a huge age gap and he stopped when he was 22. he doesn’t seem to think any of this is a big deal and says the people angry at him lack nuance. what should i be feeling?

Not even a wish could fix me. I have been depressed since I was a kid, and at first the reasons for the depression were pretty concrete and specific (body and family issues mostly). Yet now I cannot even tell you why I am depressed anymore. Even in the wonderland in my head where all my problems are gone I am still depressed. The apathy has shaped me so profoundly that I cannot imagine a version of me without it. I can only hope that this stay at earth wont be particularly long and that the next try will be better.

How do i stop thinking about him, its been like 3 months now and the last thing he told me was to leave him alone. When he was distant and pulling away i kept getting closer and closer and it probably pushed him off and annoyed him. He said that he mentally checked out a long time ago and when he called me on the phone that we are over it felt like my whole world is going down, i was legit getting panic attacks at night and i lost my appetite and im too afraid to text him since i dont want to know if he blocked me. I just want him back. We were together for 8 months and around the 1-3 months it was good and it kind of drizzled down around 4-5 month were he has this hot and cold behaviour. For example 1-2 days he is warm and approaching and next 1-2 days he is cold and distant and this attitude alternates. Everytime he pulls away and acts cold and distant i kept asking him whats wrong and he kept responding that hes alright, hes okay and nothing is bothering him. Like how would i know there is an underlying issue if he conceals the problem by refusing to talk to me. Just the idea of him being with another girl and being intimate and having sex kills me in the inside. I just work it out and fix it. I need help. This hurts so much.

What's your dream bf like?

for me:
>16-66 years old
>in severe debt
>incel, never had sex
>bald
>173cm tall exactly
>widely considered to be a schizo
>has a number of congenital diseases
>has brain damage
>no friends
>might be missing a finger or two
>speaks Mongolian

i got physically abused when i was in middle school and i had noticed i was like ‘weird’ after. had a freakout the other day bc some dog scared me and it like finally clicked so i went to the doctor. i feel a lot better knowing that im not just a shitty person but like what the fuck now??? i just feel like im quantifiably damaged. anybody have like any advice on what route i should take? like support groups or medication? thanks :p

Why can't guys be consistent?

I haven't had a lot of relationships but the two I had ended on the same thing, guys act a certain way at first and once they have you they slowly stop doing the small gestures, the romance, the flirting, the effort, they stop being as compassionate and understanding. They slowly become meaner and ruder.

You will eventually find yourself having to discuss with them the fact that they aren't acting the same way, I don't believe there is a man out there that can keep consistent without being told to do so. Either that; or, they just tell you you're being dramatic and that they haven't changed.

What is the scientific or psychological reason for this besides selfishness? Who are they fooling and do they really think we are that stupid to think that "nothing has changed"?…

im going to a state school in august. i wanted to know, what is something you wish you did at this point in life?

why are guys so indifferent and aloof? by that i mean, why do most guys not even try to put up a front that they care about what you’re saying?

im honestly so tired of the dudes who claim to “want an autistic girl” and shit, but then act completely uninterested when you want to ramble about your interests. i know this is a thing for a lot of ppl, not even just moids and you can’t force someone to be interested in what you say, but i just think it’s stupid when you’re actively trying to get into a relationship. personally for me, i’m schizoaffective, not autistic, but i tend to latch onto my interests and they consume most of my time.

im the kind of person who likes talking about random stuff, so the conversation doesn’t have to be centered around what i like, but why claim in the first place that you care when you really don’t? i know why, it’s just frustrating— especially when you have less typically “feminime” or cool interests. as a girl i feel like it’s only cool to guys if you like their shitty taste in music or you pretend to enjoy rlly niche films to put on your letterboxd. ik that sounds hateful, and i dont dislike anyone who genuinely enjoys that stuff, i just wish guys tried to be interested in what their gfs liked as well. it’s really easy for me to talk about it with girls, most of them care beyond having a specific self-serving reason to listen, and some nerdier guys as well. but 90% of men won’t even try, unless they can pivot the conversation to something sexual or about themselves. if anyone has experienced the same or has advice, pls lmk. i enjoy reading replies anyways.

feels like I'm excluded from womanhood because I have a hormonal condition (pcos) and I'm a tomboy
>Be me
>25 year old female ,who powerlifts
>Have a decent amount of muscle and deep voice due to pcos as well as body hair from the age of 12
>Join a women's only art discord server
>Women think my art is made by my boyfriend,I say no
>I join the VC , get told for my face to be stomped and instantly banned
>Had enough because this happens to me everyday,even in the women's bathrooms. Decide to join again and send my pussy and tits to the mod ,and get promptly banned again as expected (that's fair enough)

Damn

I’m disgusted with a family friend’s son. I can’t stop thinking about how a woman spent years of her life raising this moid and digging herself into poverty only for him to turn into a smoking gamer porn addict who berates women online, calling feminists Nazis and contributing absolutely nothing of value to the world because he’s a “doomer”. He’s in his 30s and this is what his max potential is and for most moids. And it sickens me she parades him on social media calling her son a great man and beautiful boy. Why women bother having kids is beyond me, especially a son. Women really are this stupid it seems so it’s hard to even blame moids when women continuously volunteer to do this shit for free.