/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>can you ever heal from growing up unwanted + ostracized by your peers?
This one is really hard desu and requires a lot of support from others to recover. Bottom line is you need to be wanted and accepted by others.
If the extent of the damage done to you by ostracization was limited to your self-esteem, you'll probably have an easier time recovering by simply glowing up and changing your environment to a less racist one. You have an issue but you're pretty independent socially.
But if there was serious damage done to your socialization to a point where you're self-isolating weird etc then you'll need much more actual help.

>>125731
Not OP, but sometimes I think some women in spaces like these sort of take it as a slight against all women when a woman talks about feeling ugly, lonely or pathetic or like a loser or something, and they feel the need to overperform how much of an outlier she is or that she's probably a larping moid, like embarrassedly saying "she's not with us" in case an outsider conflates her situation with yours. I don't think that's very fair. This mindset is why I never feel like I can vent about never having a boyfriend before, as if that's somehow remotely implying that applies to everyone here. It doesn't and you shouldn't care what hatereading scrotes think, even with perfect optics they would still make up bullshit reasons to insult women anyway, as they always have done for centuries including back when female outcasts were less prevalent than today.

If anything, I think it's a bit of a horseshoe to imply all women naturally live fabulous lives free of any insecurity, stress or problems. And maybe I'm being a retarded schizo, but "pinkpill" seems like an Inglourious Basterds wrong fingers moment. I thought feminism is the purplepill, and the pinkpill is moid discord/preddit tranny shit.

I dunno. Just seems a bit strange to argue we need to ban women for feeling miserable or suffering, and assuming an anecdote of a girl being harassed by moidlets is actually unrealistic anti-woman propaganda.

>>125739
There has been some complaining about "embarrassing" posts here on /feels/ but really I don't think this thread falls anywhere under that umbrella

>>125731
I’ve only ever seen men have this experience you’re right.

Does anyone else have the urge to gain the attention of only the hottest people to compensate for all those years that you felt like you looked like a monster? Because I think that might be the thing that's ruining my life

>>125779
just don't give it up
does open here imply the relationship is incidental?

>>127041
what i mean to say is: is he really just looking for sex?

tells you he’s never felt love before when he’s like thirty with half a dozen exes. that’s actually scary, baby, not a sign we are meant to be.

if he’s looking at his phone when he’s with you. he shouldn’t be online when you’re home ever. if he is he’s bored.

>>127061
and if he’s bored he’s monkey branching

>>126912
Also to add, I don't know if he truly means this but he says he would kill himself if I died and I freak out because wtf? He also just talks so poorly on himself that it's getting to me and I don't know what to do because I do believe in male mental health but he doesn't even know how to look after himself let alone be in a relationship with someone

>>126914
DO NOT MEET WITH HIM!!

>>126912
a man in his mid twenties love bombing a teenager he met online and now using suicide baiting guilt tactics on you?

i don’t know how to say this lightly but nona. he’s going to force himself on you. whether it’s sexual or forcing a relationship.

this is a jobless adult man who is resorting to dating teenagers because other people his age have apartments and engagements and degrees and careers. he has to date your age because it’s less weird to you at your age for someone to not have these things. but he isn’t a teenager like you. he is stunted and probably dangerous.

if i were you i’d pull a:
“hee hee i don’t remember you asking to be my bf!!!”
“ohhh well it’s a bit fast and i want to be able to meet someone before i decide”
“ohh im not feeling well and since i won’t be able to get what i needed to done, i’m going to have to push when we meet back!”
and then talk about all of your responsibilities and working towards having a life of your own and see how he either thinks he is more important and be repulsed or he’ll have to back off. and then i would slowly stop responding or respond less and less. he will probably freak out at you a little. don’t reply right away then pretend you’re super sorry and worried reply for a bit then have “something come up and you’ll be right back” you have to back out of these things slowly and carefully. idk how obsessed he is or how much do your info he has. he’s already threatening suicide with you cooperating. he WILL threaten you or harm you at least emotionally if not worse in the future if you don’t comply. think about how weird he is being when you’re being agreeable. THIS is his honeymoon phase?

nona you better run or we will all be disappointed in you. you know deep down already this man is a creep. you’re just a baby still. don’t worry. rejecting this man will open doors for new men to come and you’ll have a higher sense of self worth each time you reject a man. the higher your standards are the better. rejecting men like this is how you build your standards. you’ve already taken the first step in identifying this is a certifiable freak. that’s major. you know what you need to do deep down.

You are wasting both his and your time

>>127058
will someone PLEASE think of the man grooming a teenager online.. puhleeeaassee guys we have to caaarrrreeee about men’s time and feelings… please he must be so lonely having his entire social life over discord plssss can anyone help HIM

>>126739
That's terrible!

it’s only been a few days. breathe.

>>126739
I hate this "nonchalant" precept that zoomers follow religiously thinking it makes them cool. Ugh

>>127029
We've also got Millennials locked into permanent Dave Strider coolkid lowercase into their 30s and 40s, too.

>>126994
Hey nona. The fact you're self aware about this is already a huge step. You don't need to save every animal or person that's in distress, it's another way to create a toxic environment. In fact you should be saving only yourself and people who won't inflict harm upon you. Many bad situations can be avoided this way, so hopefully you can find some solace and agency in this idea.

>>126998
those tik toks of animals with days to live have been upsetting me so bad lately. i keep emailing shelters near me to get in touch with them because i can’t have a dog on my floor and i rent. the amount of suffering in the world drives me insane. i guess that’s why i even care someone who hurt me is depressed. he let me suffer alone when he knew i was hurting. there’s just a part of me that can’t be like that towards someone when i know i’m part of it. i wanted him to say sorry and then for it to be over. not for him to be silently suicidal and think the situation is so far gone i wouldn’t care if he apologized and he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. cos like the greater implication scares me. what if no one ever forgives each other for anything and we don’t fix climate change and the whole world is just backed into a corner and the whole earth ends.

>>127001
I actually understand you a lot…
Still I hope you remember that unless you take care of yourself nobody else will. Please put yourself first nona, and your loved ones if you have them
also these tiktoks are 100% made by manipulative mfers

>>127003
i’m glad at least for the ones connecting dogs on death row to people who have confirmed they’ve saved them at least. i tried to show my local shelter the shelter needing animals transferred out and i hope that eventually no animals have to be put down and they can just be moved to areas with not a lot of strays like where i live. it like destroys me inside seeing this stuff because there aren’t any kill shelters within driving distance of me at all so it’s hard to do anything when the most urgent need isn’t local. i try to focus on wildlife rehab and conservation stuff here. i feel like i obsessively need to focus on fixing things or the weight of the world starts driving me actually insane.

>>126989
he’s not secretly venmo-ing me and if he wanted me back it would be a temporary psychotic break. i think this might just be your best friends boyfriend.

no matter what it is he was upset about, destroying things out of anger is genuinely manchild behavior. what i would do is tell him to grow up.

at best he can't control his emotions and damages your home/belongings. at worst this is a warning sign for future domestic abuse if he can't control his violence when upset

>>127024
he was reacting to something that happened to me to be fair to him. it did scare me though.

>>127026
clear sign he thinks of you as his possession, dump him

>>127037
honestly we already had a huge fight over it and made up but he also called me his woman and it made me cringe so much. i’m “your” WHAT? we barely know each other and i low key want to bail still

>>118533
you could replace trump with alcohol and this post would fit well in prohibition. But That would hurt the nonas who cant put down the bottle too much to say

>>125949
>Most incels would've been utter normalfags if it weren't for their appearance

And most women would be incels if they hadn't been born women.

>>118525
Rodents

Men who play games all day and the only way they’ll interact with you is when you play co-op or they need you to relieve a bodily function.

>>118525
is this a carricature of nevada-tan

Pros
> has job that would survive AI job takeover apocalypse
> right amount of chubby
> tries his best to do things right by everyone
> decent morals
> is funny
> has interesting things to say

Cons
> does not practice what he preaches
> lies by omission unless you figure out the precise question to get the truth out of him
> completely impotent due to former(?) porn addiction
> brown

>>126126
So untrue it is crazy. If a man was larger than me I would know other women were constantly trying to hide their smirks at how fat I looked. It would trigger my body dysmorphia. Every time I see a woman larger than her man I take a picture of them from behind and draw their outlines and it’s so funny. I once saw a woman who could fit almost three of her boyfriend’s waist in her fat body. I love it when she’s a head taller and her shoulders are wider than his and you know they can’t share clothes. And it makes men insecure and hide in the house and not want to be seen with you. Like play games all weekend when he would have wanted to show you off instead.

> use ctrl f
> type porn
> 45 mentions

0_0

>>126987
are you a new schizo or one of the old ones

>>127006
i feel gross for even thinking of it but it makes me so uncomfortable knowing what men do online and having to wonder about it. i never want to be in a relationship again with someone i know is like porn sick. the absolute stomach lurch from hearing men casually mention all the porn theyve watched. there’s just no way it doesn’t change the way they view women. and it makes me want to cry they want to do those things to me and see me like that rather than like a nice girl who loves their soul.

>>126219
No I Think You Need To Be Reminded

>>126216
Literally whataboutism…
If it's unrelated, it's unrelated.
Unless whatever happened in the current situation is somehow caused by whatever went wrong in the past. But usually, it's something that's caused by not having fixed something that had already been wrong in the past. But even then, you could focus on solutions instead of just faulting someone to put them down. Some list shouldn't be the end of a discussion, even if the argument likely requires some pauses because people need time to process emotions and if they don't take the time, they might opt for whatever solution is the fastest rather than most effective.

Ok Kanaya Maryam

>>126230
There are some things that are always going to be relevant. If someone did something like cheat or put their hands on anyone even in the past, every action of theirs should be weighed against it like “Should I bother dealing with someone who leaves the toilet seat up when I know he cheated on me?” and the answer is “No.”

>>126234
kek

In the end it really amounted to nothing, not that life was meant to be to my liking. There's something utterly wrong with me. I don't know where to go but am I supposed to go anywhere?

Retarded boiler in my room started leaking so I put a bucket under it and prayed it would go away. 2 days of bedrotting later the bucket has overfilled and the leak has gone down to my living room forming a big bulge on the ceiling. Probably gonna have to call someone to look at it and they’ll have to go into my depression room. Also I have the worst social anxiety ever. Fuck my life.

Not rock bottom yet but I'm getting there, everyone is currently treating me as if I did something horrific just because my performance at work hasn't been the best for the last few months, this is even stretching into my family thinking this

>>125666
You should be evicted for letting water damage happen. I hope you get sued.

>>126990
i think they own wouldn’t it be their neighbors living room if not