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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 123234[Reply]

What is the difference between love and mental illness? Because my friends tell me I'm unironically nearing the latter; to keep it short I seemingly can't forget about my high school ex bf for some reason even though I'm nearing 30, we talk on and off very sporadically over text but I'm the one that always starts the conversation and I my friends tell me I'm coming off as almost begging for him to come back with me but he always tells me no, in fact I know very little of him after we turned 20. Yes I have dated other men, yes I know it's pathetic, no he's not manipulative, but every time I keep making this alternate reality in my head about going back in time and having this idealistic life with him; I had this cringe moment with my mom some years ago because he came up in the conversation and I told her I would come back with him if he wanted and she just gave me this look of me being silly lol
40 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 124492

>>124388
You are demented.

Anonymous 124493

>>124492
Nona I honestly think that is a shitpost

Anonymous 124501

>>124490
I do not understand what you mean by warrior programming Nona. Please elaborate.

Anonymous 124502

>>124501
>warrior programming

it's a reference to the way modern cultures have evolved. when you go to school, when you participate in monetary exchange, when you work and for the most part when you engage in any kind of social interaction; basically when you do almost anything normal in modern life: everything is set up for you to become a certain way as much as currently possible while the things that are not a certain way yet are currently being scrutinized in an effort to make them become a certain way as well. the culture is carefully set up like that.

most people are so entangled in these basic setups, that they don't really think about it too much and in a way i even have empathy for that. when you are trapped in an awful job that consumes your life you are likely to conclude that you are too busy to question basics. but people who don't question basics all kind of turn out the same, an eery unsettling similarities in key areas of their personality. they all seem to have similar problems that might manifest in ways that seem different, complex and unrelated but i don't agree they are.

when you live consciously for long enough, you see how the things that are, turn into the things that have been with such reliable predictability. few things will surprise you if any. at some point you get it, you will see something and you can tell how it turn out; maybe not every time but most of the time.

warrior programming is the attempt to summarize this experience of what i might almost call a cultural inevitability. a more dramatic way to summarize it would be
>curse of being normal.

toxic normality might also describe it well but it sounds too contemporary for my taste, i try to make it sound more timeless when i communicate.

Anonymous 124531

>>124486
>w. Changing just feels impossible. I'm at that point in my life where I know that even if I magically changed tomorrow and became this amazing, beautiful person that I want to be. Finding a good moid, falling in love, having a child and being happy feels impossible.

Stop centering your life around moids. You should seek healing for YOU only, not for some hypothetical moid who may or may not exist.
If you really want to atone, the best thing you can do is let him be. Do you think obsessing over him like this is letting him be happy and free? No, you're still clinging onto him and he will never be free until you realize that you can live without him
Your entire posts is just "Harley, Harley, Harley" enough!
Go make female friends, volunteer at a shelter or something, spend time with children and animals, continue with the meditation like the other recommended and stop being a slave. You are your own jailer, literally picrel
If he could move on then so can you JFC, you were a bitch, sure but it's not like you raped or beat him. Stop making yourself into this martyr figure, you're only mythologizing your own self pity instead of taking action. You said you never told this to anyone, couldn't even admit any of this to a therapist, well this is the first step towards moving on.


9a41e105955c07b586…

my crush is getting married Anonymous 124505[Reply]

he was the only decent male ive ever met, i know he liked me back when we were teens but i avoided him because i was nervous.

now he's been dating for like five years and ive been waiting for him to break up with her for any reason so i can approach him, but he uploaded a picture of his gf of gfs day and she had THE ring on THE finger.

he hasn't post anything about being engaged but like, it was pretty much an engagement ring.

and i cried a little tbh

ill stay single for the rest of my life idc all other moids are lazy, perverts, dumb, ugly or all the above.

Anonymous 124506

Many such cases…

Anonymous 124507

Lucky

Anonymous 124509

Jock_and_Agnes_Smi…

>>124505
> all other moids are [ . . . ]

he's 1 in 4 billion ? not statistically likely. either you're wrong about him (doom scenario) or (more likely [hopeful scenario]) there are more men like him out there

Anonymous 124511

>>124509
yeah like statistically there must be more men like him but as long as i been alive he's the only him ive met, so how long until there's another him in the path?

Anonymous 124566

>perverts
just because he's pretty doesn't mean he isn't a sex pest nona


hello corporate/office girlies, lets chat :3 Anonymous 124503[Reply]

just chatting and yapping
hii nonas in office jobs,do u girls also love it but hate it.
like, this is so soothing and grown but so boring at the same time.
making this thread rn while at it cuz i am bored!

Anonymous 124504

After working for some years in stocking and customer service i can say it's definitely not that bad

but my back hurts


baixados.jpeg

I cannot stop eating sugar and sweets Anonymous 124125[Reply]

it is a PROBLEM. I love chocolate and anything with sugar, but its becoming concerning at this post, if i dont eat a sugary sweet at least once a day i will become moody and sad.
Im not overweight or anything, i have a pretty lean body but i need to stop eating sugar all the time, how to stop with the sweet treats,,, nonas help,,,
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 124270

big bean.jpg

It is due to blood sugar.

• blood sugar goes up
• insulin goes up
• sugar goes down
• sugar goes below normal
• you feel bad and need more sugar

It might be related to mental illness too, as your brain gets more energy during a sugar high it alleviates it, so soon sugar becomes your crutch. You don't necessarily have to eat sugar to cause this either, starchy foods can have the same effect.

The solution is to manage what you eat so your blood sugar is above normal but not too high. In short, eat beans. Beans have a low glycemic index meaning they release sugars into the blood gradually. There are other foods with low glycemic index but none are more convenient and abundant than beans. Beans can be friends.

This also alleviates sugar cravings, because you don't go into panic mode, though it takes a measure of willpower to wean yourself off sugar.

Anonymous 124283

try to eat vegetables instead, like something crunchy. Carrots or green stick things, apples in slices or pears even. Eat fruits BEFORE 4pm and drink a lot of water nona.

Anonymous 124382

yu4x94dr00441.jpg

>>124125
>I cannot stop

that's you being a low agency person. for decades the elites have tried to influence the human breeding as to produce dependent order-followers incapable of managing their own life. you are the result of their efforts, the vessel of corruption.

Anonymous 124385

>>124382
That's not quite correct. Admitting to your faults and seeking a solution for them instead of justifying them is actually the high agency behavior. We all wish OP luck with her predicament <3

Anonymous 124393

>>124385
>seeking a solution

yeah right THAT'S what is happening here yaah. seeking a solution yaah. i can tell you are a very solution-oriented person just being your solution-oriented self in this solution-oriented place yaaaah.


6bee381a6a19c5cb8c…

how do i get over mi highschool crush? Anonymous 124307[Reply]

you all can make fun of me and be mean because i think i deserve it tbh.

met this guy when i was 15 TEN years ago. we were in the same class and we sat next to each other. we were really different in the sense that he was pretty cool and chill, he had a lot of friends and stuff and i was more of a reserved otaku.. but he was super kind to me (and anyone really) so i developed a crush on him.

at one point after we graduate he was really persistent on hanging out, go to places i posted i wanted to go and stuff like that but i always said no because i was scared of what he would think about me physically wise (we didn't saw each other for like a year for college reasons) so we grew kind of distant until we stopped talking after he got into whats now his long term relationship.

and i can't stop being kind of obsessed with him. i compare every guy to him because he's kind, good looking, hard working, likes animals, loves his mom and sister, apparently is against the consumption of porn and all that, really a great guy.

when i tried to get over this literal obsession with him he sent me a dm through instagram out of nowhere, APOLOGIZING because he suddenly remembered that i had been a really good friend to him during school and that he was sorry if he ever was too annoying to me during that period (he never was, he was the sweetest. texted me late when i had depressive episodes, hugged me when my cat died, tried to include me in everything, asked about my interest, listened to me and tried to introduce me to his while using mine as a comparative so it wouldn't be boring to me, etc.) and i relapsed. i know he wasn't trying anything with that message because i answered that i never thought about him as the most annoying out of our friend group and that i was thankful too and we didn't talk anymore after that.

i don't know what to do to get over the fact that im stuck in that crush from ten years ago, that i see everything he post and get bitter when is related to his girlfriend. i need to get over this and meeting new males isn't helping because i keep comparing and settling this guy as the standard.

what do i do? and sorry if there's any typos, this is not my first language.

Anonymous 124323

i've lived through something similar.
here is how i would do it now after dealing with it stupidly.

the answer to this is consciousness. you have to be conscious of the behavior that is disabling you.

notice when you think of him. just notice at first. "ah there it is again" because since this is an habit, it will happen without you wanting it to.

then when you think of him, you have to remember that when you think of him that you go down the rabbit hole and think of how awesome he is and that might make you sad or make other men look like losers to you that you don't even give a chance. you have to know in advance that this will happen again when you think of him so be conscious of it, wait for it to happen and interrupt it until it is gone so you can have your life back.

>oh no not today

when you remember all that next time you notice the habit is beginning again, you have the choice not to go down that road. that choice is your way out of the habit.

Anonymous 124392

>>124323
came checking if there was any answer to this. thanks nona ill try that !!


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How do you deal with hopelesness for the female species Anonymous 122690[Reply]

Everyday it's more clear to me that women will never be free, it makes me feel suicidal even. We are nothing but pets and will NEVER stop being pets, even if that were to happen I'll be dead by that time. What the fuck do you do from here that isn't giving up?
18 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123569

Abort babies if they are male. That's the first step.

Anonymous 124373

>>122690
Women have been free in the past and are free in some places. Women can be free again. Join separatists and work on being separate. It may not work on a global scale but it will for the women who care enough like you.

Anonymous 124374

>>123569
a fellow SCUM sister I see

Anonymous 124378

>>124373
Join a female only commune. There is only two that I know of, all of them full lesbian but you can create your own if you have enough good willed Nonas with you.

Anonymous 124381

makeup die like th…

>What the fuck do you do from here that isn't giving up?

there is stuff you can do. one of the most important things that i don't see any of you do is to promote a life in reality. a real life based on reality, not a life based on following narrative.


when-take-pregnanc…

I am pregnant Anonymous 122619[Reply]

I found out a week ago that I am pregnant.
I am married, have been for 2 months to my husband who I have been with for 3.5 years now.
I am scared.
Right now I am the sole breadwinner of the house and I don't even make that much money. Enough for bills but hardly enough for anything else and slowly have been draining my savings.
He doesn't work. He had a good paying job but left it to pursue school 6 months ago. And what he is in school for I honestly don't think he has a future in.
Other than the financial struggles, neither of us are ready to be parents.
I think I could handle being a Mom, but I do not want to be a Mom. I am not ready for a lifetime commitment yet. I wanted to enjoy being newleyweds longer.
He is not ready to be a Dad. Emotionally immature.
The reality is slowly dawning on me on how hard this will be for us and I am really distraught. We are broke and I am married to a man who literally cannot handle fatherhood. I am terrified.
At first I thought I would be excited for a baby but I am more scared, mostly because of ny husband being unprepared. I know he couldnt support us but I know one of us will have to stay home with baby all day.
I just dont know what to do.
23 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123777

>>123566
You can get in the mail sex tests for your baby btw, you don't need to wait until the second trimester anymore

Anonymous 124019

>>122619
Nona it's been a month what happened?

Anonymous 124061

>>122619
if u do choose to have the baby, can you possibly move in with his parents or your parents? this way, ur expenses with be less and it wouldn't be too much on you.

at the end of the day, what's done is done so don't beat urself up too much for who you chose to marry. working and going to school at the same time is hard, but it is an option and ur husband will have to look into it. there also other expenses you guys will have to prepare for during pregnancy and after the baby arrives.

good luck <3

Anonymous 124180

i know who this is and i know we don’t get along but i wish you and your baby well

Anonymous 124380

>>122619
Get the kid anyway and don't feel ashamed to milk as many tax cuts and subventions as you can.
And push your deadbeat moid to do something.


__hilda_and_tepig_…

Anonymous 116666[Reply]

What was the most fun/creative date you’ve ever been on?

If you've never dated, what are fun/creative dates that you would like to have?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 116729

>>116666
I usually just go on hikes, long walks, and eat out at restaurants or cafes for my dates.

Don't know what movie fantasies ya;'ll be living, but count me jelly.

Anonymous 118112

>>116666
i want to lure and kill a man after having sex

Anonymous 118958

>>118112
but why nona

Anonymous 124346

I am completely unable to feel attraction to anyone. I cannot date.

Anonymous 124351

Not technically a date, but
>2013
>Boyfriend has travelled 3500 miles to be with you for Christmas
>You both have a glass of eggnog on the coffee table
>It's blizzarding outside
>We're sitting in my parents livingroom at night on the big sectional sofa
>Almost complete silence save for some christmas smooth jazz on super, super low
>Snuggled up together
>Watching the snow fall through the big glass patio doors
>Heater on in the corner
>Cat quietly purring as she naps in her bed next to it
>boyfriend gently rubbing my back as we watch the snowfall
>Other hand holding my free hand
>heads touching

Amazing memory. One of those ones you think about and all of the feelings of warmth and comfort envelop you.


The28thidiot - 183…

Lonely life Anonymous 119497[Reply]

Who would have known. Turns out that my paranoid unhealthy bullshit is a detriment to my character. I have lost my only true close friend because of a falling out and it seems that I have lost contact with them so no matter how much I want to try to make amends, it won't happen. It takes a lot of conscious effort for me to truly be close to someone because I am scared of not being in control of my feelings and letting my paranoid delusions get to me, and I thought maybe this would be different despite the issues between us (we both don't have the best mental health.) But it turns out, not really. I've always been isolated from my peers ever since childhood. I don't work; I got an informal job before but my cognition wasn't up to it. My hobbies are mostly isolated like drawing and writing. I've always had a lonely life. Friends come and go, but it seems they always go in the most painful ways possible. I always had looming dread whenever I had this close relationship, even when my friend was as nice and understanding as possible, like I was not enjoying it at all or being conflicted about being happy or scared. But at least despite that, I was a bit more in control of my emotions and my friend made me smile a lot. But now, everything is a mess. It might take a while to be more stable, but this is nothing new to me. Maybe I should just keep to myself more, and I should just be more accepting of an isolated life.
6 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119971

My ex bf was my best friend before and after we broke up. We stayed really close for like a year after the breakup. He had girlfriends and it never became a problem until now. He got a new girlfriend and he barely talks to me. I get paranoid and freak out on him and he just says he’s busy. That he got in touch with old friends and so he just has less time to yap with me but when he was single he had a lot more free time. But he still wants to be my friend and likes talking to me. How am I actually supposed to take that? He talks to his old friends more so he talks to me a lot less. So I’m less important. I freak out and I know I’m just making things worse but I can’t help it. I’m so lonely now. I just liked being apart of his life still. Moids are never the cure to loneliness they just make it worsen

Anonymous 119972

>>119971
Plus side his girlfriend is short and over 200 pounds. Thinking about how fat and disgusting she is, is the only remedy to my pain.

Anonymous 120024

>>119971
do you think his new gf might be uncomfy with him having close female friends or something?

Anonymous 120044

>>120024
I genuinely couldn’t care less. I’m sure she does. She’s a hog. If she wasn’t uncomfortable. It would be a shock. That’s not my problem. We have been best friends for 7 years. It’s not my fault she’s a void of a human being. She never developed a personality outside of her last bf. So now instead of developing a personality outside of her last relationship she’s just latching on to his personality. Within a month of dating she bought him tickets to Vegas. I can’t imagine being that desperate and I think it’s pathetic. She lives four hours away and she comes down every week and spends like 4 days at his house. Again imagine lacking an identity to the point you can spend that much time in someone else’s space, especially a moids space. She’s a turbo Reddit liberal who fucking does that moon water shit. So basically I hate her as a person and also because I don’t get to talk to him as much. Like if I met her under different circumstances I would still think she’s a pathetic hog. Who’s desperate for male attention.

Anonymous 124347

>>119497
If you care about women, do not use discord. They fund men who traffic women.


IMG_2108.jpeg

Anonymous 124339[Reply]

my bf is having sex with a surrogate (his friend he thinks is hot) so we can have a baby
how do i know he won't cheat on me during the sex?

Anonymous 124340

by realizing your story is made up

Anonymous 124341

him having sex with anyone else but you is by default cheating, what are you on about?
even if you consent to it, it still doesn't change the fact it's cheating, it would just make you a cuckold


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