/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>125169
I have a complex over my hair in public most days but…

Sounds brvtal, though, I'd hope as an adult randos would care less but the social developmental damage has been done, huh

>>125169
how old are you now nona? do you go to work? i dropped out of hs due to the same thing. therapy and meds have helped a lot but it’s still a struggle.

>>125145
Because your breasts are a constant source of unwanted attention, the reason people will be disingenuous just to get into your pants, a reminder many see you as an object rather than a person and someone to be pidgeonholed into a subservient role.

I mean, I don't hate my boobs and this is all put a bit dramatically but I understand where this may be coming from.

>>125151
I mean, if you got a better idea why OP hates her breasts, speak away.

>>125151
This kind of moid it's most likely to be a faggot

>>125157
Don't lie. Attention is flattering if it's from a guy you are attracted to. Its only insulting if he gives you the ick.

>>125146
>>125146
Huhhh I have huge boobs and I always ended up having intelligent conversations with nerdy men but I scare people off or piss people off who aren't nerds so I kind naturally have a psychological barrier to men likely to say misogynistic crap

Still yeah I have had horrible experiences with men but not because of my boobs

I'm sorry you got through that

>>124468
>There is nothing inherently problematic about things like instant messaging or the internet.

yes there is. if you understood the nuanced differences between early respectful/consensual/peaceful internet communication systems and the current, biased, infiltrated, automated, security-addicted, debt-based, disrespectful patronizing consumer-systems and the war that is happening behind the scenes you would not mention such ignorance.

plus you base what human nature is on everything that happened after the begin of agriculture a few thousand years ago. there is a timespan in the hundreds of thousands of years where the anatomical modern human climbed down the tree and survived without settlements. to speak of human nature without accounting for this time where things were different again to me is quite ignorant. makes me wonder if you are in the business of ignorance because amateurs usually don't exhibit such professional level of ignorance.

>>124514
>early respectful/consensual/peaceful internet communication systems and the current
Anon… the very fact that these two existed at all is proof of my point. I don't understand what you're disagreeing with me on.
Can you clarify your point on "human nature" or whatever? It's very unclear.
>>124512
The reason it was a "place" to people like you is because you were a tourist. If you want to gawk at things or "explore" there are plenty of alternatives even now.

Text messaging is the lowest form of human communication next to violence. I hope that smart phones are stigmatized some day and people will use them in moderation.

>>124959
>NOOO YOU CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE USING WRITING NOOOOOOO
Guess I'll just get rid of all of this trash then

>>125054
They have been burning potter and Dostoevsky for eons scrote it won't make any difference most people aren't going to follow you there en masse because most books are written by and large for the masses and printed and reprinted for generations

>>124968
If you don't finish your degree can you make progress in your carreer at your current job?

Nipp

>>124983
>>124985
this degree will make me a pharmacist, the pay will be almost double than what I'd be making right now. I only have one semester with classes left, the other one is internship again (this internship I did now was extra). I'm just afraid I'll end up failing any subject and then I'll have to stay an extra year like in my last degree and spend more money in tuition.

Some of my classmates work and study, almost all of them are either part time studying or left subjects behind.

Thanks for the help btw

>>125004
Well…

Pros and cons of working as intern
+ safety net
+ work experience
+ making money
+ people at work appreciate you and ask you to stay back (good coworkers is such a positive thing btw)
- already have experience
- maybe have to spend 2 more years balancing work and studies with 6 subjects
- they suck at teaching (can gain better experience at another place)
- this is extra

Pros and cons of studying fulltime:
+ can be mindful and focus on only one thing - better performance
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>>125025
+ pay will be almost double
+ pharmacist degree will open new and more exciting opportunities

Talented or/and hardworking programmers are still finding jobs. The problem is that you are competing with people who have been doing it since they were 13. The fact that you say AI has "wasted" your experience just shows me you only care about the advertised lifestyle and salary, and not about the field or CS in general. You can't really compete with people who love the field, tie their identity to it and spend all the time programming or exploring technology.

I mean, is it really a "dream job"? Have you written any software outside of CS classes? Do you talk to other programmers? My guess is no because if you did, you would know that most do not take it as a serious threat and are preparing for an era of "vibe debugging" consulting.

when we kill all indians the tech job market will finally open up but it won't affect you as you will have been delegated to life as a concubine by then

>>124978
Young women are outearning young men more and more each day btw.

>>124044
If you don't mind working bedside for a while, become a nurse. Then get a job doing health IT, as an RN medical coder or working with a medical device company selling shit. Or you could become a nurse practitioner and have a chill 9-5 prescribing rehab patients suboxone or some shit.

>>124073

I'm fucking dead, an ex friend of mine does this and I can't help but thing of the rampant misogyny and sterotypes that permeates in that industry.

>>124044

Im right there with you Nona. Current personal and financial situations basically makes it seem like the tech industry is harder to break into nowadays but if its something you really want you should go for it. You can always try to network yourself at events or on LinkedIn. What are your thoughts on bootcamps? Is it the same as college?

>>124850
Still need someone to shoo the cats off your corpse when you die.

>>124842
Is it that you don't want children or are you scared of your identity changing as a wife/mother?

If it's the first one, there's a whole childfree community where people date others who don't want kids.

If it's the second, IDK if what I have to say will help or not. If you already possess the capacity to fall in love with someone, fall in love with the right kind of person who shares your values, and the loyalty to stay with them even when the honeymoon phase is over; You'll adapt to starting a family just fine if you chose to go that route.

>>124852
>Is it that you don't want children or are you scared of your identity changing as a wife/mother?

Mostly the latter. I'm not sure if I want kids yet, I think it's so risky and that you'll have to pour a 100% of yourself in it, honestly I don't even feel like that's worth it in most cases. What if I give my life to someone who I'll probably not even get along with?

>fall in love with the right kind of person who shares your values

That's the thing, I don't know if they're out there, I'm a pretty radical feminist and men aren't big fans of getting their privileges taken

>>124855
Instead of looking for a man who wants his privilege checked (because nobody wants to feel like shit) look for a guy who shares your core values and is willing to learn further, then build on that. If he's willing to learn that's half the battle fought right there. A relationship that results in marriage, and the marriage itself, is a ton of hard long-suffering work. It's not 50/50 either, each side has to give 100% of themselves to the relationship. Maintaining it, upholding it, and improving it. Communication is key and as long as you both can and will communicate then you can always overcome whatever life throws at you. My parents have been happily married for around 40 years. I'm the eldest out of 5, not including two miscarriages. I've seen them fight, and makeup. I've seen them be away from each other for weeks at a time because my dad was in the Air Force and was going TDY. We've been dirt poor, and middle class. My mom has COPD because she smoked, my dad had an aneurysm burst in his brain and that's spelled countless medical problems. Now they're both getting old they're in their 60s my mom has bad bones, my dad is dying of cancer. No matter what they still love each other. They put each other first at all times.

That is not optional. That is mandatory.

You have to find someone who you can be that with. One whole being. When the times are good and when the times are bad. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. Until death do you part.

Don't let the overwhelming negativity of modern society get to you there are still people who are out there and want that. But it takes searching. You have to get off your ass and find it, it will not come to you. Don't be afraid of putting yourself out there because you are worth it. What you want and what you desire in life is worth it. It's worth getting hurt, it's worth getting rejected. That love does exist. But like anything that is worth something it is not passive. It has to be worked for, and you must set aside everything to obtain it.

Do you have the intestinal fortitude? The fact that you want it says you do. All that remains is for you to obtain it.

Good luck and Godspeed.

>>124858
>Instead of looking for a man who wants his privilege checked (because nobody wants to feel like shit)

Well women feel like shit all the time. I don't care if a scrote has to feel like shit for like a week in order to stop being a public menace. I think I might just try sticking to women.

For me the problem is not that someone may disagree with me, but that there are always a few crazy unhappy people who want to make everyone else deal with that. But also, did you have critical parents nona? I find that sensitivity to strangers is related to it.

>>124956
I like to think of an internet as a dive bar that anyone can go to. You might meet nice people occasionally, but a large percentage of them are miserable bar flies that want to bucket crab the people around them.

Also don't go to 4chan. That is like the dumpster fire behind the dive bar filled with porn and screaming racists.

>>124957
Relatable. I don't like to call it that though because Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria makes people think it's a trans thing instead of an neurodiversity thing and it's been co-opted by whiners who can't take any criticism and excuse it with that

>>124960
I personally had a pretty critical mom, don't know if it's different for any other anons though

I manage to post on here from time to time but then I'd have to suppress the urge to not delete before the 30 minutes mark

>>124965
Looks like you made it!

what you need is a good dicking

Oh nonono s…

>>124784
I hope you get one too nona you sound like you're a big fan of them <3

lesbian relationships suck most women are cunts

>>124901
That only makes sense seeing as how all women have them.

>>124755
This is her life, and that's what's frightening.

>>124755
He wasn't perfect, just lacked flaws. The truth is OP is clearly still mentally developing and needs to go through retarded milestones like being a mean girl at high school or whatever. A wholesome chungus bf that doesn't have a personality is good if you're all grown up and resigned to making a family, but that's like making a teenager hang out with a toddler or grandpa instead of their peers.

>>124690
Good for him and glad someone else can have him. No wonder so many men think women are insane.

>>124690
Reading this made me visibly angry. I feel actual hate.

>>124190
>>124923
Reading your story really resonated with me. A few months ago I was dating what seemed like the perfect man. Smart, intelligent, respectful and everything I could have ever wished for. However I was insecure especially since he had been in a two year relationship before me. His ex girlfriend was drop dead gorgeous and I found myself constantly comparing myself to her. I would stalk her social media mention her name to him and do all sorts of things that I know frustrated him. Despite his obvious frustration I couldn’t stop. I was convinced that he only got into a relationship with me because it was so soon after his breakup. I even convinced myself that I was just a rebound.

There were times when he lied to me when there was no reason to and I noticed he was insecure about himself which made me sad because he was actually stunning and incredibly smart. Eventually I began to find him pretentious which was really disappointing since those were the qualities that initially attracted me to him.

When he broke up with me he said he couldn’t handle the emotional strain I was putting on him. We had been in a long distance relationship met online and I’d even met his family. I begged him to stay but my insecurity and emotional immaturity only made things worse. It’s been a while since the breakup and though we still talk I always text first and he replies quickly. I’m even moving to his city soon. I tried to reconcile things but he told me he didn’t want the relationship and I understand now.

I also saw that he followed his ex back on Instagram which made me doubt if he ever truly cared about me or if I was just a rebound. He seemed to care but I realize now that closure might just be a myth. It’s none of my business what he did to me now. It’s over and I truly understand that it is.

One important thing I’ve learned is to be patient and self-aware in relationships. Before getting into another relationship it’s important to understand your own insecurities and what you need emotionally. Don’t rush getting to know someone. Let the relationship grow naturally during the talking phase and take time to understand the person’s values, intentions and character. Most importantly focus on building your self-worth without needing validation from others. I’ve realized that the biggest mistake I madPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

That sounds exhausting. Do your parents set up strict expectations upon you?