How are you holding up at the moment? And which are your methods to cope?
Please give me some advice.
TL;DR: crying not being able to cope, alone
I'm not going to mention anything directly, but probably my wording will be quite "heavy" for thoughts, still trigger warning, emotional venting.
Is tiring having to remember everything over and over again, even if I'm distracting myself, washing dishes, showering, doing exercise, talking with someone, a song, etc etc it reminds me anything. Its hard, so hard to focus or do something relaxed while having this "echoed" images getting in my head and can't stop them.
I'm afraid to go to therapy since whenever I go, I end up worse than before, since I have no one to hug or get comfort after a heavy session (I live alone and by myself, years alone), not having support other than internet friends just hurts to the core, deep inside wishing for a hug IRL. Human physical interaction is something that you crave even more if you don't take a step outside, and unfortunately since working remote doesn't give you the courage to keep going out or eating healthy, is hard to keep a decent lifestyle, even more when you're diagnosed with so many things.
Always thought I'd grow out of it, but is still there, all the scenes, all the shame coming over and over for things I just "didn't know" back then, so many things and not being capable to do anything.
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