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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 106726[Reply]

post yr ideal partner
337 posts and 77 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 117132

>like we are the only two who will ever understand each other
I can’t understand for the life of me why a person would WANT something like this. Likely, the person who you end up having this with will be the exact opposite kind of person you’re expecting. But once you have it, it won’t go away and you’ll live with it whether or not the relationship works out.
I have this connection with some I can’t, and never will be able to have for various reasons. You carry that with you, like a big pit in your stomach, every time you think about it.
I seriously don’t suggest it, rather if you can try form meaningful connections and relationships with friends and family before you enter into a relationship. If you only get it from a relationship it will be brutal.

Anonymous 117150

>>117132
I added that because I'm a hikkikomori. I've never felt a single connection to any living thing so I think it'll feel really really really good. I hope that answers it and you can fix whatevers going on in your life

Anonymous 118688

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my ideal bf looks like he plays animal crossing and qt pixel games

also he is not so beta he is scared of tumblr men

Anonymous 118799

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>>117150
I never go out either, and when I meet men I am so shy I don't usually let them pursue. I don't know whats wrong with me. I go to therapy but its not making up for lost time and I just want to go back and find a guy at my stage of existance. I am afraid of being manipulated but don't want an old man. I wish I was a slut in high school.

Anonymous 119156

For men:
>Bald. Maybe no eyebrows either
>Glasses
>Tattoos
>Piercings
>Kind hearted
>A little bit above my height
>Traditional in a way where he'll open doors for me and buy me flowers and provide (I still want to work though) but won't try to own me
>Would be willing to kill for me while also understanding I'd rather he just be peaceful

For women:
>Have a cute sense of style
>Glasses
>Sweet and kindhearted
>Neet
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people who do not leave you alone Anonymous 114629[Reply]

what the fuck do you do when someone continually harasses you, actively tries to sabotage any effort in you feeling a sense of community, literally just targeting you everywhere you go?
i do not know what the fuck to do. i genuinely think of killing myself because this person follows me on every online space i use, has hacked my email and sms accounts in the past, and actively tries to humiliate me in any space i go to.
i don't know what the fuck to do. i hate these people i dont know how to get them to leave me alone. they get some sick fucking thrill out of choosing someone to just mentally fuck with for literal fucking years, i dont know how the fuck to get them to leave me alone.
45 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 114982

>>114902
nta but can you elaborate your third point? i find it very interesting.

Anonymous 115003

>>114982
nta but basically become a creep and seek non-creeps

Anonymous 119112

>>114629
whoa anon. kind of cringe thread but it really sounds like you're being harassed by the same group of people over an unnecessarily long period of time.

Anonymous 119118

>>119112
it's schizophrenia

Anonymous 119149

>>114679
deserved tbh sorry

but this stuff really does happen, low empathy people who usually use the "4chan aesthetic" in their discord anorexic racist groups do this stuff



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Is it unconditional love??? Anonymous 119140[Reply]

How do I tell my bf that everytime I visit him I feel like I'm dying for air( really not kidding I'm allergic to something in his place)as if I feel like I'm trapped inhaling something I shouldn't.But I enjoy spending time with him.

Anonymous 119147

Just tell him? If he's smart, he'll understand.

Anonymous 119148

I don't get it, if it feels like an actual, physical allergy, why wouldn't you tell him?
>Dude I can't breathe here.

He might even know what it is, it just doesn't bother him.



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I want to learn a new language!! Anonymous 119096[Reply]

Where do I even start?

It’ll be two at the same time and I’m more casual about it— it’s more of a hobby than something that I am wanting to excel in. Unless it comes to that, then I wouldn’t complain!

But I’m still wanting some effective advice on how to do this— and I’m having a hard time with structure! Help, please!!

Anonymous 119101

Part of it might depend on how different the two you're learning are, but a good method to build up daily vocabulary is to do journaling. Even if you're not feeling like doing much that day, just writing something like "I went to work" can help solidify the words and past tense for you.

>>119098

I thought Duolingo got rid of the forums? I stopped using it bc of that, which was part of their switch to using AI instead of native speakers. Other company decisions didn't help either.

Anonymous 119102

>>119096
Start it sooner rather than later, don't put it off by trying to come up with a special plan for how to learn it perfectly. If I really buckled down and got into french ~2-4 years ago, like I said I wanted to, I probably would be at A2 already.

Use singing while reading the song lyrics to start learning. If you want you can start with finding Disney songs in the target language.

Feel free to use "advice for target language, in target language" YouTube videos. These are quite good even at a very low skill level.

If you're on Firefox and learning Chinese/Japanese use 10ten Japanese reader (you can even put this on your phone) or zhongwen ("the popular Chinese learning tool"). Don't worry, I avoided 10ten out of pride/ego for a long time but it really doesn't hinder, so long as your practicing via singing to written lyrics it only helps and doesn't hurt.


Some Pronunciation Tips
Read the "<language> phonology" page on Wikipedia to learn how to pronounce it well. Don't worship the "closest English approximations" only use these as a jumping off point, compare the "target sound" for example Chinese "p" to your approximate sound, for example English "p" (use the English phonology Wikipedia page and the <target language> phonology wiki page).

Sometimes articles/books give closest approximation sounds which are… just wrong. Ignore idiots who try and claim the "e" sound in languages like Japanese/Spanish are pronounced like… "ay". It's not.

Also if you're doing pinyin (mandarin Chinese) I came up with a … mnemonic sort of thing to remember how to learn all the "sh/ch/j" sounds. The ones with the tongue up the back similar to Japanese sh sounds, (it's more "kawaii") all use single letter consonant symbols, q, j and x. The ones with the tongue lower down and less kawaii all have 2 consonant symbols, (the second of which is an h), so sh, zh and ch.



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Anonymous 110541[Reply]

i like girls but only certain type. the hikki femcel type of, but most of them are either straight or not interested in daiting. i dont think i will ever find gf to be with because of it. all the girlies i have liked never liked girls. all im asking for is cute pale hikikomori-ish girl who is similar to me…
23 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119067

>>110541
Fuck yes I love this archetype, sucks that its both rare and usually straight (+catered to moids). Praying for us all to find the hikki NEET gf of our dreams

Anonymous 119082

These girls are the best in theory but the few that exist are 1) too mentally ill to handle 2) straight or 3) not interested in dating. I'm okay with the last two but they're often all three and while i can stand not having someone as long as i can admire them from afar, i'm just not into crazy people. The dream would be a hikkineet celibate woman who is also somehow mentally stable but it would take a miracle

Anonymous 119088

>>117983
Woww I think this is the only time I've ever seen anyone show any sort of interest for any of my features, sadly it will also be the last time.

Anonymous 119093

>>110541
Unfortunately it feels like they are all either latina or trans.

Anonymous 119115

sorry.PNG

>>117993
Anon, I'm sorry I never contacted you. I wanted to, but I know my family would never approve of us. I hope you can be happy with a fat and hairy hikki gf one day. I wish it could have been with me.



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Am I worth dating Anonymous 118932[Reply]

I don't think I'm worth enough to date as a female
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119043

And I don't want to be THAT person buuut….

you are worth enough as a person!! "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?" (1 Corinthians 3:16)
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own;" (1 Corinthians 6:19)

You are worth it and you are loved.

Anonymous 119048

maybe the moids are still desperate enough to date you?
you don't have to be perfect, just barely good enough.

Anonymous 119056

its funny that poor quality men and women never think this but average women do often. you're probably just average but if you really feel down, just work on yourself.

Anonymous 119071

i will date u nona

Anonymous 119086

Work step by step to be th gf your ideal bf needs, ignore everybody else



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Positivity. Anonymous 116556[Reply]

Share any positive feelings or positive things.

Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love


Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl
10 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118934

>>118891
Thanks, Nona! The next promotion I'm in line for is a huge step up, so it will take a while to get there. But I'm excited to grow into a person suitable for the role.

The funny thing is my job doesn't stress me out at all, I enjoy it most of the time, I work no over time, and I often spend an hour or more on reddit every day…

Anonymous 119036

>>118940
You’re in every thread and all of your posts are projection. You’re calling this person a “conflict robot” but instead of staying on topic you replied to someone with the intention of generating controversy. And when someone doesn’t take your shit you get on defensive mode.
You’re weird, schizophrenic and should fuck off from here.

Anonymous 119044

I am very happy right now, because God is good. I hope you nonas are all doing well. I am glad I get to read all these positive posts here

Anonymous 119060

I took responsibility for myself and called the rehabilitation center I was referred to. Now I have an appointment for next month. I'm pretty damn proud of myself even though objectively I know it's just an every day adult task.

Anonymous 119077

>>119060
That is so great to hear! Good that you did that



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How to be able to exercise Anonymous 117957[Reply]

Unfortunately a fat nona here

Happens to me that I've been years living alone, I work at home and of course I'm depressed with no friends around.

I'm around my 30's so at my age trying to have friends is really weird, no one at my age wants friends at all and going to places alone suck, even going to the gym (ive got made fun of me once and decided not to go anymore).

I barely go out, I only go outside when I have to get my prescription meds.

Other than that the motivation to go out and have some sun on the skin doesn't exist.

How you do it nonas?
And yeah I eat like shit, I don't even try to cook sometimes since is depressing eating alone.

I barely shower either, I'm on my own filth and once per week I shower or 2 times per month (I clean myself tho, water and soap but I'll not get my clothes off and go under the shower).

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118140

>>117957
honestly, there are a ton of factors to consider.

1. Do you have any pain? Be careful when doing any sort of exercise if you suffer from pain that isn't being managed and mitigated via rehab and the like.

2. If you don't have any pain, consider what it is you want. Basic health and fitness? Consider what the means to you first. For some people, that means being able to do at least 5 pullups. If that appeals to you, you may look for a nearby park with monkey bars and focus on the progressions there.

3. Don't fall for the bodyweight fitness trap that is so prevalent in fitness. It may seem like a great idea to start with bodyweight training as you don't require any equipment except maybe a pullup bar (if you want to do pullups at home), but frankly speaking, most people are simply too weak to even start with bodyweight training either due to pain or muscular imbalances caused by years of physical neglect and abuse.

4. Nutrition is the most important thing for losing weight.

5. Do not rely on fitness to fix your life, focus on accomplishing goals in the realm of fitness.

Anonymous 118150


Anonymous 118183


Anonymous 118197

>>117957
Diet is the most important thing, as others have said already. You're carrying a lot of bodyweight, which makes a lot of exercise far harder. And if the weight in any exercise is too much, priority is to reduce it rather than push through and risk injury.

If you're the kind of person who benefits from structures and a plan to follow, then focusing on macronutrients and calories are your best bet. Here's a rough guide for calculating what yours should be: https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/how-to-calculate-macros/

If that's too much and you'd rather wing it, then just work on cutting out snacks and eating more protein. Its important even if you're not actively working out.

If you can eat better and lose weight, it'll have knock on effects in so many ways, including helping loneliness. Try to focus on that. You want to go farther afield and find greenery, get used to a gym, go to hobby groups and meet people- your body is your friend in all of this. It'll get you where you need to go faithfully if you treat it right.

And lastly, if you're in a city, maybe there's weight loss groups you can join. Nothing to help cut through social etiquette and get to honest friendship more than a sincerely shared goal and struggle.

You can do it. Eat better and you'll have no choice but to lose weight. Everything else you want will be more attainable for it. Good luck

Anonymous 119058

I really enjoy going for a walk in the mornings. I get my favorite coffee and walk around for a while sometimes. I live in a big city too and its kinda boring cause its always the same but recently a new store has opened up close to me so I go there sometimes and look to see if they have new hello kitty things. You could try going on walks while listening to audiobooks also :)



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Anonymous 118787[Reply]

In your own words, what does falling in love feel like to you? How do you know there's a connection, a spark, a vibe?
4 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118821

>>118790
you do sound like a gold digger

Anonymous 118828

Falling in love is when you do dumb stuff that will bite you later. I like to keep a rational mind.

Anonymous 118829

It feels more self destructing and dangerous than taking drugs of questionable quality.

Anonymous 119008

>>118829
It is also the most sublime drug known to man. Better than an entire drug cocktail

Anonymous 119057

I knew for sure when I realized I only want to marry and have kids with him.



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Anonymous 119045[Reply]

Do people only use each other? Is wanting deep caring and true love that takes it slow without everything being obsessed with sex just a fairy tale? Are ideas of true love that never fades just overly idealized and is something that breaks her if she pursues it? She wanted to follow it, but it only caused her pain

People just seem to want the new burst of energy and honeymoon phase that comes with meeting someone new for the first time and the first few days together that forever shape the memories you have with them (you never forget the first few days) until they get bored and move on and become strangers as if you never met each other in the first place


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