/feels/ - Advice & Venting

im a disgusting loser. no friends no romantic interests. every girl i talk to ends up having a bf, ends up just being queerbait, or is just an overall evil thing. what do? disgusting femcel life. thats all there is to this post. nothing more in my life than that. xd.

22yo autistic girl diagnosed at 16. up until last year i never thought anything of it. that it was just some stupid label given by the doctors to label me as difficult and stuck up.
but now it seems my autism diagnosis wasn't actually a lie. i never had friends that i could get along with like other kids since i was 5 until now. people talking hurts my ears. i didn't really like any of my peers, they were always too outgoing and bright for me. they always did unsoliticed physical contact that made me so uncomfortable i ended up not leaving the house for the next few days. for some reason i cannot handle theatre audio systems anymore. i have to wear ear plugs just so i can watch movies on a big screen in film quality. everything sounds too sharp, like nails on a chalkboard. i cannot maintain eye contact with my psychiatrist and my therapist while talking. i talk staring at my hands while i fold and unfold the paper with my queue number on it (i bought a fidget cube so i can stare at my hands doing useless shit for as long as i need, paper degrades too easy). making exaggerated facial expressions like other people has gotten impossible. (people have gotten worried because my face is unmoving while i interact with them)
i feel like myself in high school where i hated everyone because i couldnt understand them for being so excited and so loud. now im in college and i can understand them more due to reading more philosophical/psychological topics on the human mind. but no matter how much i fucking "nerd out" i can never be truly human and day by day i feel more and more detached with humanity.

i'm turning into a sociopath. the more i have to make myself acceptable to society the more i feel like i am disappearing. this sucks. what if i really disappear and when i do have a chance to be a mother to a daughter, my rhetorical daughter will hate me for being so emotionally flat/empty/dead inside?

say that my dreams of raising a daughter better than my parents raised me will never come to anything. it'll hurt and i'll cope with that but, there are some days i feel so detached and not myself i have this slight unease if i murder family. i already hate my parents so i feel like they'll be the victims foremost if i do lose myself. but what i'm scared of is being so far gone. i commit murder in catatonia and get assessed in court in a catatonic state. no longer human, no different than an animal.

chat im going insane and i dont thinPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

For a few months I was eating very few calories, and that turned into a whole mess that made me feel and somatize every single emotion to the extreme.
Sure, that was probably one of the triggers, but what really hit me was realizing how much time I was wasting—day after day—just endlessly scrolling for hours with no purpose. Not even the energy to reply to simple messages, let alone hang out with people. All this while I was still trying to keep up with my university classes, hit the gym, learn a language, and cook my “low-calorie” meals.

I ended up feeling completely paralyzed. Everything I once loved was just gone, and I had no interest in anything anymore. My days revolved around chasing dopamine through dumb reels and TikToks. I couldn’t even finish ten seconds of a video before skipping to the next, or saving it to “watch later”—a moment that never came.

I got totally obsessed with how I looked, constantly thinking about how skinny or “good” I looked. Which was stupid, because in the end, all that worrying left me unable to even look at myself in the mirror or on my phone camera.
I felt empty, dumb, my brain completely fried, like life was slipping away inside a virtual world.

And that’s why I’m here—because “normal” social media eats me alive. It feels automatic, something I do out of boredom in dead moments, scrolling endlessly just to avoid making any mental effort. I literally remember saving long texts to read “later” because they demanded too much focus and brain power.

After all this, I finally went to the university’s psychological services. During the interview, they asked me what I thought a “normal person” was. My answer: someone who’s actually present, who can tell what’s happening around them, and doesn’t have thousands of random thoughts or get lost in daydreaming all the time. Their response? ADHD.
I don’t want to take medication—and it’s kind of absurd to think that all of this gets pinned on something like that.

Honestly, I just want to go back to enjoying and learning from the things I used to love. Very few things spark my fried brain now. I don’t push myself to do anything, though I still try to take on longer activities even if I keep falling back into doomscrolling.
You can laugh, but I know a lot of people are going through the same thing right now.

I struggle daily with finding meaning in anything, and feel so alone in all things. I recognize that so many people are just doing things to cope with that same dread and loneliness. It seems like no one knows what they are doing or why. It all seems so pointless to me. Why does anyone keep going? What is the point? How does someone even find real purpose? How do you all do it, nonas?

I'm tired of making female friends only to end up being ignored or excluded because I don't share their political opinions. Female friend circles seem to be built on fear, and I'm done with it. I made a decision not to pretend anymore—but now, I don't have any female friends left, just because I don't believe that anyone who identifies as a woman is necessarily a woman.

I just turned 27. I’m a high school dropout who has been a NEET since leaving school at 16. I’ve been a shut-in basically this whole time. I don’t have any social or life skills. I can’t even drive. I’ve also never had any sort of relationship or intimacy because I’m ugly as fuck. Not even a friend. Is it over for me? I want to change, but I feel like it’s all just too far gone. Even if I do change, I don’t feel like I’ll ever truly recover from all these lost years. How am I supposed to go out there and relate to people? I feel so stunted

This is a genuine question, because I can't fathom any other reasoning. Courting is dead, it's gone. In no particular order the following occurs: love bombing, ghosting, mirroring, hot/cold method. Even my friends who fit the patriarchal male gaze to an absolute T (virgin, quiet, submissive) are getting stepped on. It seems like all or nothing, there is no slow progressional vetting before a clear decision is made. Many other girls around me in my career and academia have given up on the idea of marriage and children. The ones that haven't tend to have a man-child tier boyfriend or they're accepting to be chronically cheated on.

The ideology that women have to be top 1% of females to deserve a male counterpart that doesn't wreck havoc on livelihood and minds is insane. I've talked to many boomers and they agree something is universally wrong; we are no longer just homemakers, but we have the ability to be that and MUCH MUCH more, how are we all fundamentally somehow "never enough" for them?

The whole phenomenon of this dude is proof that standards/body-shaming/fatphobia don’t exist for males. If the original post had been of a woman it would be like any other post and be lost to time. But because someone had the audacity to try to socially enforce any rock bottom, bare minimum physical standard for the sacred male, everyone threw a fit and he got a whole media festival of events, money and opportunities thrown at him for weeks on end. In real life a female is torn to shreds for not spending most of her mental energy on appearances, but something as febrile as “hey maybe a male shouldn’t be so fat he can barely walk” is completely socially unacceptable and would get you fired while every handmaiden within ten miles performatively throws themselves on his gangrenous fat-entombed micropenis.

I feel like I'm so ugly without makeup. Even after being showered in compliments. I get many compliments from unattractive men. I never get any from men that are good looking. Tinder, instagram, real life

How do I cope?

How do I stop pushing away good people that are in my life?