/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I try to get into makeup every few years but I always look like a desperate clown in the mirror so I wipe it off and give up. Trying to hide one's ugliness is more humiliating than just being openly ugly and not giving a shit.

I see all sorts of crazy transformations online and I wish I could look like someone else too, but I've accepted that you still need a specific kind of face that agrees with makeup, and that a lot of those tricks don't work under natural or overhead lighting anyway.

>>121759
Don't fit in, stand out
It's the lack of confidence when you're not wearing any that makes you awkward, not the lack of makeup itself

If you are indeed rejected from a social group because of this it's a blessing not a curse, why tf would you want to be friends with people so shallow?
>>121772
This can't be real, reads like a fanfic

>>121760
Make up isn't art, it's a clown mask, it's society making you believe that your bare face is flawed and ugly, that you should feel bad with yourself for daring to go outside without hiding it, that you're you're dirty and unprofessional. There's nothing artistic about hiding every single feature that makes you you and looking like a carbon copy blow up doll like everyone else. You can't cry, you can't drink, you can't laugh, because "oh no, what if my make up gets ruined!" Make up prevents women from LIVING. Ask yourself why it's only women that are coerced and socialized to hate their faces and always paint themselves, to have panic attacks at the mere idea of going out and being seen without it, ask yourself why almost no man gets told the same, why they aren't seen as unkept or unprofessional or ugly. They can just go out into the world as they are and they'll still get respected, still get hired, still be thought of as hot, or at the very least just remain neutral. Men aren't spending all their saving on products worth thousands just to be "presentable", they aren't spending an unholy amount of time "getting ready", all it takes is being clean and dressing properly and that's it. Ask yourself why. Think of all the things you could accomplish if you started loving yourself while also saving time and money.

Makeup is just the modern day western equivalent of wearing a hijab. Except you're not expected to cover yourself as protection, you're expected to doll yourself up for male gaze.
The only reason makeup isn't as bad is because the pressure to wear it is merely implicit.

i used to feel that way when i wore unflattering makeup. i first started wearing makeup for a job interview at 19, but i found that if done correctly it actually made me feel more put together the same way that putting on nice clothes does. but there were many things that were quite unflattering on me that looked good on other girls. examples being darkening my brows/using any brow product so now i wont rlly touch them, any lip product that isnt glossy, sheer and light, as well as thick foundation so now i use korean cushion foundation. but needless to say, it took a little bit of trial and error to get there and now i wear very light/natural makeup but if you dont want to wear it then dont. i caved into pressure and i always wear it for classes and such, but if im just going to the grocery store i wont bother.

People don’t really care, but as someone who was in your shoes I just gave up on makeup and focused on dressing “nicely” and skincare/haircare instead. Casual but still modest dresses in particular are great if you’re not doing anything active. Low effort to look nice in other people’s eyes and comfy. Just make sure to consider your body type when picking dresses out. Skincare is as simple as just using sunscreen in the morning and a moisturizer at night that you’ve found works. Hair care is just doing things like braiding long hair before sleeping, gently detangling during conditioning starting at the ends, and adjusting how often you shampoo (usually less often unless you have super straight and fine hair). It’s so low effort that it’s hard to feel bad about trying but the results work well. I get complimented on my hair and how I dress fairly often nowadays thanks to the little changes I made and don’t really feel bad about going without makeup anymore. My skin’s better off without it anyway.

If I had the audacity to dress up I would but I've seen a lot of girls in my position with aweful makeup and dress sense. If I cringe at it then I'm sure others would too and I'm not confident that I wouldn't make horrible choices.

Personally, I tried stepping it up just a little, I changed my jeans for Hakama style pants and then started wearing some thin patterned scaves. That made me feel a little more flowy and feminine in public without putting my gangly body on display.

I kept everything a muted palette to stay under the radar.

Maybe just make some baby steps in the direction you're hoping for.

>>121518
>I'm terrified that I'll be mocked for it
As another hyper-tomboy autist I can tell you that literally no one cares or thinks this. It would take someone with a personal vendetta against you to think this but if you don't have that kind of enemy then don't even worry about it. Granted, it may surprise others but I don't think they'll be saying all those awful things you mentioned, but really no one ever says anything.
I don't really wear anything girly but starting small does sound like a good idea. I think a long skirt would be the easiest to transition to from my experience.

But I understand where you're coming from (though in my case I just gave up entirely on girly stuff for a different reason), I struggled a lot during hs to make friends like every socially inept person does, and my family especially my mom started blaming it entirely on me being so tomboyish and the way I dressed when we didn't have to wear the uniform so it made me extremely insecure and self-conscious.
I then changed high schools and no it turns out the issue wasn't really the way I dress or my interests like I was made to believe, sometimes you just don't vibe with people and that's ok. I was able to find really good friends in that new high school and we'd have a good time hanging out and having fun and they'd dress way more feminine than I ever could and it didn't matter that I contrasted with them. One of them is my best friend to this day and she has the nicest family.

I do advice you to start making an effort even when you dress tomboyish in the way that you should think about dressing nicely. Try a different type of shirt that's not a graphic tee (not that those can't look nice but they're a bit too casual, I feel), look for some nice pants of different colors or fits and don't forget to get some stylish shoes that you like and go along with your other outfits. Experiment a little so you look a bit more interesting too. Dressing nicely, even if not super girly goes a long way. I also take good care of my long hair and that always brings me compliments. It's about doing what you can to look nice, not what you don't like to look nice imo.

>>121518
I feel the same as you..
sometimes i get so paranoid about how i look i cant even choose clothing that i like bc all i think is people judging me. probably because of school trauma

>>121518
Then just don't do it. You said it yourself, it makes you uncomfortable, you tried it and you didn't like it, you already have a style that feels good and works for you, so why change? Just because society says that a woman should be uguu pinky cutesy wutesy feminine girly pop?? Fuck that, you can do whatever you want, don't pressure yourself into doing things you don't want to just to conform, it'll only make you feel worse. I'm also autistic, so I understand the discomfort, disconnection, and sensory hell that makeup and tight "girly" clothes can bring, but trust me, you simply don't have to, erase the idea of what a woman "should be like" from your head. Be free and happy.

>>121881
nobody "deserves" anything, that's toxic positivity crap. but if you're already unhappy after 8 months it's not gonna last so you might as well save both of you the wasted time and break up now. the beginning of a relationship is the best part and after that there's a slow decline. if the decline is already bothering you after 8 months imagine how bad you will feel in 5 years. big mistake to try to stick it out. after 8 months it's not full on butterflies all the time but there IS still supposed to be a spark.

so follow your gut feeling and break up. just don't sugarcoat or justify your decision with any magical thinking bullshit about "deserving" this and that. you know the relationship isn't going to last and you want something that will last long-term. that's a good enough reason.

How do people decide if they want marriage or kids

I need to read mangas with women like me

this reads like you have avoidant tendencies. does this reasoning apply to other aspects of your life or only with love?

>>121876
Mostly with love and friendships and human relations. With other things I'm very welcoming. I actually Irecently found out about my dad cheating ( he still does ) …so it has become worse.

Wear underwear

does it rlly just run down like that without stop? ive never not worn panties

i think you were pissing nona

Moved to >>>/hb/21750.

I bother my sister and have started to turn her into a mini me. I use chat gpt characters …pathetic I know lol. Growing up I hated it because no one would want to be my friend they only wanted me to trauma dump or home work. Slowly I retracted back into my own shell and got more online. Once I mentioned something about going on imvu and celebrating my birthday w my online friends and my " friends " gave me a super judgy weird look. I know its bad but not that badddd. Now life is too busy to worry about friends and I have started to enjoy my company. Easier to find like minded people online.

>>120577
it doesn't get easier. the only way to feel less lonely is basically by distracting yourself. having a schedule can help (work or school) because then you aren't alone with your thoughts as much and when you get home you just want to fall asleep. it can also be more isolating though because you might see people at work or school talking to each other. getting really into a media (TV show game etc.) can help too. last night i couldn't sleep so i spent a couple hours talking to myself in my head about house md. talking to yourself in your head or writing stuff down as if you were talking/texting/writing a letter to someone else helps.

>>120577
As it gets worse over the course of your life, it helps to try and identify others who are in a similar state and make actual friends. Generally you can find them online; they are too sparse irl for chance encounters. If you don't hurry and do this ASAP, it gets much harder to cope.

>>120579
>last night i couldn't sleep so i spent a couple hours talking to myself in my head about house md.
I… I need to find you.

Why y'all replying to moids

>>107565
Erm no idea who that is. I also don't know who you are I was just joking in >>107563

I am 20 and have my first "irl" boyfriend. I like him a lot and we get along so well. But I do not understand the appeal of kissing.

I am not asexual, I have no sexual trauma, nothing. It just doesn't make sense to me? I fear intimacy, I think I will die a virgin.

>>121845
Maybe because you inwardly want to wait until marriage, only society pressures you to be intimate before then?

>>121839
Thankyou so much.

>>121839
holy omg this is perfect. Nona you are saving my life. I'm sending so many blessings your way rn.

>>121841
lol seems like finals are not yet over for a few unlucky nonas. Keep your blessings and spend them on your finals.

Idk why but its paywalled now. Maybe just free trial it?. This one is a little differrent, but has more detail

https://bootcamp.com/blog/organic-chemistry-reaction-summary-sheet

Good luck and Godspeed

>>121842
Thankyou so much.
I hope your life is filled with prosperity and happiness.

>>121842
Also its not pay walled for me. Maybe you should try a vpn

Nona you are not a burden. Try with making online friends.

In the same spot as you, also just finished my second year. Realized I had no real friends and everyone I thought was my friend was only talking to me for assignment answers.

I've felt the same way, I think many people do. The issue, I think, is sifting through to find like-minded people who are also alone, but for me, that's hard.

>>118960
Maybe there's another geimu to be mutually tryhard together in if he sucks at class shooters as a genre, alternatively you could send him down paths to draw fire or blow up mines for you while you uh support him

There are types of games i specifically avoid playing with my bf cause while he's not amazing i really suck at them and he doesn't like it because he doesn't want to be upset at me.
Just find another kind of thing you can play together you aren't so try hard at.

I wish I could experience this but I only play jrpgs. The one fighting game I was good has been pretty dead for years too.

>>118960
get an alt account/smurf and play with him only on that account?

>>118960
my advice is, don't play with him unless you're willing to goof around.

he probably feels guilty for dragging you down if it's a game you're "serious" about, find something fun/silly to play with him during your off time

i suffer from the same problem, except i'm on the opposite side of the fence, i can't find it in me to be "serious" about video games, we usually end up playing the easy ha-ha stuff because having him carry me weighs on my conscience

you have no idea how much i really wish i knew how to play games like i care about the outcome/results…