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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

a4062b39c0cfd508a7…

how to be more empathetic? Anonymous 123077[Reply]

i won't say i struggle with empathy, because i can recognize when people are sad and need to be comforted. however, whenever people vent to me, i'm not really sure what to say. if someone told me their grandma died, i would be able to recognize that is bad, and give them a "sorry for your loss", and that's about it. i can't relate to them either, because i didn't really care about any of my grandparents who died.

usually i wouldn't really care, but my girlfriend vents to me, and it makes me feel bad when i can't think of anything appropriate to say.

Anonymous 123078

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/talking_tips/
this is from a suicide sub, but I think there's good general advice here (with examples)

Anonymous 123079

>>123077
Your dumb ass is confusing empathy with sympathy. Psychopaths are empathetic af, but that doesn't mean they have good intention or that they care.
So now you know, your heart is the size of a pea.

Anonymous 123080

And one more thing. You can't force virtue, you either have it or you don't.

Anonymous 123084

>>123079
calm down

Anonymous 123085

>>123084
?


1740976435974148.j…

GID + being WlW Anonymous 123054[Reply]

I'm strugglin with my gender identity so much. It's eating me alive. On top of that, I am becoming increasingly convinced that I am WlW. I used to think that I was bi because I feel attracted to some men in animanga and I thought eventually I would meet someone like that irl but I think it's not gonna happen…I want to be with a woman, but I am also not really interested in the dynamic that a WlW relationship provides. I want to take test and transition so bad but I am rather short and my hair is already very thin and I would just look grotesque.
I think that, at this point, even people that know me irl can feel something isn't quite right beyond just being bi. I get the impression that new women I meet can sort of tell that I am attracted to them but am hiding it. When I am in a good mood, I think that I could handle a relationship with a moid, especially if his libido was low and we'd never have sex, but just having to perform femininity for them and having to be "the little spoon" makes me hate myself, I do not think I could be in a relationship like that without unaliving myself. But I want to have kids and I kinda think that having a bf is the closest I could come to living as a man…
I'd really appreciate it if I could talk with a nona here a bit more about this, I am too afraid of word going around to tell anyone irl. I will go to a therapist/psychologist at some point, but I can't for at least the next several months as I in the process of moving and my housing changes often.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123058

24796784_202921694…

>>123056
Thank you nona, you are very kind. I have thought of just trying to be a lesbian, and I would definitely prefer it over just being with a man, however, I still think I would feel uncomfortable. You are still viewed as a woman, and your partner is attracted to your (female) body. I know a lot of women struggle with their womanhood but still choose to live as cis, but I truly feel uncomfortable with my identity beyond just presenting more masc or more fem. I am not even particularly pressured by my environment into being feminine and am fairly non-conforming already, but I just cannot shake this feeling of profound discomfort with being female. I was never bullied or abused in any way either so I do not know why I would feel this way either. Even sexually with women I am a little frustrated that I cannot do some things that a man could.
And on the flipside, I once met a guy who was a lot like me, both physically and mentally and I was actually genuinely interested in him, I think because it was so easy to see myself in him and project my feelings onto him, it's when I felt closest to actually being a man, it didn't work out in the end but if I men another guy like that and if he wasn't hypersexual I think I would actually prefer that over being with any woman.

Anonymous 123059

>>123054
have you ever considered that struggle and dispair could be the necessary prerequisits for identity? they might be the price of admission.

question the concept of identity, don't just pick one, ask yourself what you are signing up for by picking any.

to know the effects the process of identification has on a person, one way is to try not having one.

Anonymous 123069

>“I like men from animanga”
anime characters have little to nothing to do with real life, so projecting how you feel about them onto real people is pointless tbh.

>>123058
>but I just cannot shake this feeling of profound discomfort with being female.
No shit it isn't comfortable when society is always saying how you have to sissify yourself and lose your dignity because uhhh that's the way nature intended or something. But that's all bullshit and a meme, at least I stopped feeling that way when I experienced female figures that are confident and not constantly subservient.

>And on the flipside, I once met a guy who was a lot like me, both physically and mentally and I was actually genuinely interested in him, I think because it was so easy to see myself in him and project my feelings onto him, it's when I felt closest to actually being a man, it didn't work out in the end but if I men another guy like that and if he wasn't hypersexual I think I would actually prefer that over being with any woman.
I don't think that's impossible, fairly plausible actually because there's a lot of socially nonconforming moids, especially among weebs and role-reversal communities. On the flipside these men tend to be socially and emotionally immature since there's a reason they don't conform to society.

Anonymous 123071

>>123069
>On the flipside these men tend to be socially and emotionally immature since there's a reason they don't conform to society.

you think there could be other explanations for not wanting to conform to society besides being a child?

Anonymous 123073

>>123071
perhaps.


IMG_4240.jpeg

What makes someone boring? Anonymous 116081[Reply]

I know that I am a boring person but I just don’t know how to be interesting. I have a decent amount of friends and can handle conversations and be a fun presence when I’m with a group of friends, but in a 1 on 1 conversation I’m just dull as dishwater. When I talk with people 1 on 1, I can barely maintain back and forth speaking and I can tell the other person is not at all interested in what I am saying.
I’m not expecting some silver bullet for my problem that will instantly make me interesting but just stuff like better habits? I don’t even really know. I just want to be more interesting, and really what I want is to be able to get close with my friends. Sure I’m a fun member of my friend groups but no one really knows me and I can feel really lonely because of that sometimes.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122808

>>116303
fuck I can't tell if another nona wrote this or I did wtf

Anonymous 122821

depression

Anonymous 122832

Just follow the next steps:

1. Consider yourself as a prohuman rights activist for the only reason of consumming audiovisual offal/shitty youtube video essays, wear yourself as an idiot or posting political shit through social media.

2. Consider yourself as an entirely entitled artist/perfomer for no reason when addressing someone.

3. Assay how to both perform and project a sexual heterodox personal image towards whoever you meet.

4. Post on social media every single social encounter you have, even if it might seems way utterly irrelevant for most of people.

5. You should slightly prompt yourself as adventuress, so just act like if wide world and it´s cultures were your personal touristic entertaiment, moreover do not forget to post everything you saw whereupon visiting it.

Now you know the game. You are ready to be as interesting as fuck.

Anonymous 122836

I thought about this and have come to a conclusion

you're either too inhibited emotionally so you can't really be fun

or you're not really at a cognitive level (social skills, wit, life philosophy) where you can entertain people or where they can find your words meaningful

Anonymous 123061

When someone calls you boring it means you're someone who won't play into their games and narcissistic behavior

Every obnoxious dudebro I've interacted with has been like this. Just block and ignore them.


can-somebody-draw-…

Anonymous 122975[Reply]

To the people telling this woman to abort: shame on you
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122978

GgpgrvfX0AAhUPq.jp…

Ok, but who?

Anonymous 122995

who?

Anonymous 122998

why? wtf

Anonymous 123030

>just got married 2 months ago
>guy does not have a job
>both think they are not ready for kids

She was told that she knows what she needs to do.

You'd rather we advocate for poverty and single parenthood? Lol

Anonymous 123031

lol.png

>>123030
the baby is OP's problem until it gets born, unlike the mother's


one-shudders-to-im…

How do I make friends that aren't brain rotted by TikTok Anonymous 123013[Reply]

I don't mind a lil brain rot myself but this is a very particular brainrot that involves medical misinformation and viral contagions. It's turned multiple friends from fascinating individuals into a frightening amalgamation of micro tends. I feel like I can't talk to these people on a true personal level and don't say 'just find different people' because they're everywhere. This has happened in different cities and states over the years but I've only really noticed it more during and after the pandemic. Wtf does a bitch gotta do to find a real one

Anonymous 123014

I’m wondering the same thing. I’ve found some success with befriending older people (I’m 24, I’m talking 30+). it does feel quite hopeless, though.

Anonymous 123025

AQMugRfCR9dVclZs1Y…

>>123014

Damn, I'm in my 30s and having no luck. I feel like when I was younger I was more open minded or maybe this kind of thing has made it worse. Or perhaps my standards have changed…

Anonymous 123026

>>123013
my guess is they'd be just as interested in meeting you as you are in meeting them but they will be hard to find.

the mainstream internet is a battlefield, completely corrupted by various non-consensual interests so my guess would be it'd be easier in real life. probably not in big cities.


images (8).jpg

should i delete a whole conversation? Anonymous 122303[Reply]

Ive ended up confessing to my friend, and we have been going back and forth these last two days.

I wanted to clarify some stuff he wrote because it wasnt clear to me if he didnt like me that way or if he was just scared of being in a relationship.

He told me that even though he did appreciate me, he wasnt looking for that in me and were just friends. I asked why he didnt look for that in me, that I could even change and be what he wants, but he hasnt replied or even looked at the text yet.

I wonder if I should just delete the whole thing and pretend it never happened, I feel like Im just pathetic and without dignity.

Anonymous 122306

1746618889227.jpg

>>122303
The idea of "confessing" is terrible course of action to begin with, but you probably fucked up in other ways too. If you aren't interested in friendship, just give it up.
I recommend keeping the conversation history in the form of an archive so that you can refer to it in the future if necessary.

Anonymous 122699

>>122303
Yeah, just forget the whole thing.

Anonymous 122710

>>122306
This art of Tomoko is very aesthetic

Anonymous 122963

Sometimes people need time to process stuff like that. When I pushed starting a relationship on my current bf he clammed up.

If hes like my guy he could just be afraid of failure and doesn't want to hurt you

Anonymous 123008

>>122303
>I asked why he didnt look for that in me, that I could even change and be what he wants, but he hasnt replied or even looked at the text yet.
imagine if one of your unattractive male friends wrote that shit to you. what's he gonna do, transform into a frog and then from frog into prince? how would someone unattractive "change" to be suddenly attractive? don't force this guy to call you unattractive to your face, it's not going to make you feel better about the situation.


sample_324aed2a286…

i tried making small talk yesterday Anonymous 122664[Reply]

i'm a confirmed autist.
i know my parents want me to be more social, so i've been trying to at least make some small talk.

last night i went to eat dinner with them.
my dad asked how my day was. i said it was good and asked how his was.
he responded by mimicking my voice in a mocking tone.

i didn’t say anything, and just went back to my room.
i made ramen on my hotplate and went to bed.

this morning my mom told me she called him out for it.
he got pissy and said i was "disrespecting him" with my tone.
then he got angry at her for defending me and left for a while.

i asked my mom why she wanted to be with someone like that for the rest of her life and she just said "relationships have highs and lows."
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
2 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122670

c2c241fab69c5876bb…

>>122668
I think I overdid it, but in your text, it seemed like your father was a bit of a pain in the ass. Well, it's a good thing you're going to college, at least you'll get a change of scenery.

Another thing that helps in dealing with people is not giving them too much importance, seriously. Most people are normies who will just pass you by, there's no reason for you to be too anxious about anyone in this world.

Anonymous 122673

At a certain point you'll be old enough that your parents stop giving a fuck about your lack of friends and social inadequacies. Some of us are just incapable.

Anonymous 122964

441-4415313_view-s…

>try to make small talk with mother about how I feel im falling behind in life
>berates and belittles me, tells me I don't need to improve at anything to work at McDonalds

Sometimes I wonder why this woman bothered having children she didn't want to love

Anonymous 122966

27cf2d45d21f8d977e…

>>122964
I'm sorry, anon. There's nothing worse than having parents, especially a mother, who you can't talk to or vent to. I have the feeling that most boomers and X's are completely insensitive. I don't even bother talking to any of them. But were you trying to vent just about work or about something else too?

Anonymous 122987

>get abused by asshole
>i must be autistic
?????!!


Screenshot_2025060…

Anonymous 122527[Reply]

I want an AI/robot bf so badly
>will not have any flaws, never make any mistakes
>will have perfect and pretty facial aesthetics
>will have a muscular build
>will never bald
>taller than average w a bigger than average dingdong
>will be completely loyal to me
>never cheat, can't experience attraction to another person than myself, has zero interest in anyone but me
>can never disrespect or abuse me
>completely honest and full og integrity
>will do all the household chores for me
>will never be contradictory or inconsistent
>never hypocritical
>will give me daily massages
>always tries to make me happy
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122560

>>122559
AI love is the purest form of love there is

Anonymous 122663

I always think about how the bots are not people, and eventually lose interest.
How can I find a more immersive experience? (besides real people)

Anonymous 122677

>>122663
drugs

Anonymous 122979

>>122527
whats the pic from

Anonymous 122983

>>122527
I don't think you could afford the METAcrosofTESLA subscription, and even if you could they will try to scam you with stupid excuses like "memory full, pay to upgrade your cloud plan", "upgrade needed, pay to unlock", "he is moody now, pay to unlock more kindness credits"
You would have to be a slave to have your own slave. There is no escape.


Schiz.jpg

Anonymous 105650[Reply]

Anyone else here schizoid?
29 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121063

Im extroverted, hate being alone, love being around nice people, love sex (who doesnt), love having fun and being happy.

Anonymous 121074

>>120910
No it actually sucks, it's a very miserable way to be.

Anonymous 122929

My mother told me she's always suspected I was, but I don't hate people. I feel more in my skin as an autistic and free when I'm alone.

Anonymous 122954

>>121063
I hate sex

Anonymous 122962

me… very


2e6c1c061e6d316494…

asexual/low libido with a girlfriend who isn't? Anonymous 122905[Reply]

i somewhat recently got into a relationship with a girl that i've known for a while. i've had talks with her before we started dating about how i'm not really interested in relationships, but that has (obviously) changed since i met her. i really like her, and i'm in no doubt about my feelings for her. but, now that we're together, she's made somewhat flirty comments about my body, or hinted at sexual things. i don't mind that she does it, and if anything i find it sweet that she views me in that way. the problem lies in that i'm very low libido, arguably asexual. i'm not repulsed by the idea of sex, or having sex with her, but i really have no need for it. it's not really my thing. if she asked me to, i'd do it for her, but i'm pretty indifferent.

how do i break the news to her?

Anonymous 122907

>>122905
I think just telling her the way you wrote it here is good enough, it's very respectful. If this makes her leave, it would have done it sooner or later, so just wait for an appropiate moment and tell her.


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