/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>114310
If it is a scam, you can dispute it through your bank. Call them and say it was a fraudulent charge.

>>114317
yea but i can probably only do that once the concert happened/right before, and by then cant get another ticket, but i will be getting my money back 😋😋 thank yew lob yew

you didn't put any effort whatsoever to mantain contact.

>>114150
post contact info or stop whinging

Sometimes people just grow apart, it sucks but I've had people I just didn't want to see again because I never really had a good time with them. Hope you can reconnect somehow nona.

>>114041
You have never played Pop'n Music. You have no rhythm, you have no timing, you have no skill that could ever compare to a Pop'n player. You are a casual gamer deluded by the idea of mastering something far beyond your reach.

All the "support" you get is empty and insincere. Behind your back, people snicker. Your friends mock your attempts; even your gaming buddies laugh at your incompetence when you're not around.

Pop'n Music players are utterly repulsed by your lack of skill. Years of dedication have allowed them to spot a novice from a mile away. Even those who try to help you out of kindness will quickly lose patience once they see your hopeless lack of progress.

You will never be good at Pop'n Music. You force a determined smile every time you play and tell yourself you’re getting better, but deep inside, you know the frustration is building, ready to crush you under its weight.

Eventually, it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll visit an arcade, try to play a challenging song, and be swiftly reminded of your inadequacies, realizing your dreams were just fantasies. You’ll go home, defeated, and give up on Pop'n Music altogether.

Your friends will find you, saddened but relieved that they no longer have to deal with your constant complaints and failures. They’ll continue playing, remembering your attempts as a cautionary tale. Your controller will gather dust, and your gaming aspirations will fade, leaving only the memory of your futile efforts.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Yeah, it’s happened with an ex of mine. He used to send me memes of that weird 4chan “aspie” girl meme in romantic connotations all the time saying “this is us” and it would make me cringe. Sux for him, turns out me having autism doesn’t just make me really excited about dinosaurs and video games, it also neuters my ability to feel romantic and makes me hate being touched, makes me hate certain foods, makes me sensitive to noise, plus all the other fun negatives and suddenly he finds it not so cute anymore! Shocker, the disability is actually a burden and not sexy!

>>114050
Are you serious? Back in the day, FetLife used to have entire threads where men would list girls they knew with BPD so that other men could get them into D/s relationships easily and take advantage of them and then dump them. The fetishization has changed over the years (like OP said, it's now the MPDG fantasy), but it's always been there.

>>114060
That's fucking disgusting but not remotely surprising.

>>114314
Sorry meant for:

>>114312

you are scaring me every time you interact with me when ive told you to stop. stop interacting with me.

P,

I love you. I can't bring myself to be mad at you, no matter how hard I try. I think what you did is wrong. But I can't help myself. I love you, even though it's bad for me. If I was just a bit weaker I would take it all back just so you wouldn't be mad at me.

I wish it was all so different.

One day this feeling will pass, I'm sure. Until then I will have to continue loving you. I don't regret it.

Solo chi ama non passserà mai

I don't trust you. You're not real.
How can you be real, how could you exist? You're a walking facade, but what are you hiding?

I don't doubt the veracity in the few details you divulge about yourself, but you have to admit you're very odd. You present yourself as eccentric; a safe amount of oddity that doesn't raise general concern. You don't ever give opinions, do you. Do you have them? What is in there that you're keeping from escaping? Am I wrong? Is it just pathetic apathy; cheap absurdism, or simple nihilism?

You are so very interesting; an enigma. I want to know more, but knowledge may ruin your allure. What if there really is nothing behind it all. I'd take a horrible reality over an empty nothing any day. I enjoy observing you from afar; maybe one day you reveal the inner motions of that ticking mind, and I hope that it's not revealed to be the same somnolence-inducing nothing that plagues the rest of you.

>>114886
Is this about a friend or a relationship?
I could just be paranoid and searching for signs from them, but it might actually be about me :(

If only you knew how much a simple I love you or a smile would mean to me.
Or maybe I'm the defective one here for expecting affection. Apparently it's unhealthy to expect your ""lover"" to fulfil all your emotional needs. That's what friends are for, of which you have no shortage of.

God. I feel like a formless shapeless slobbering shoggoth slime thing pawing at your knees, who even in its wretchedness, aches selfishly, desperately, for the slightest hint of warmth from you. I'm sorry that I disgust you, that I reach for your hand at all when you'd just pull away.
If you had just pushed me away when I shat my heart out to you, I wouldn't have wasted our time thinking we could have ever been something. Just stop with the act and admit that we're jesters stringing each other along just pretending we had something meaningful together.

Sorry for making you hold back your gag reflex all this time. I'll stop haunting your sheets if you'd just ask me to. Otherwise, I guess I'll just keep pretending that we're happy together. This is a pleasant environment of mutual ridicule we have cultivated for ourselves, from what had once started innocently as cute banter. How ironic that early on we professed how stupid it is that social interactions are all just masks and niceties and small talk, when in the end, when we're alone together, each wearing our own masks, I feel even lonelier.

>>111099
I can relate to you nona, about to turn 30, tired of being surrounded by jealous fake friends, I've done everything for them to make their day/life better, but they don't hesitate to ditch and exclude me few month later because I've been too nice to them. Don't worry nona, you're loved and deserve to find better people

I lost all my friends after middle school and never managed to make new ones. I was really lonely at first, and sometimes I feel like I am missing something inherently human, but I am kinda content with it now. Maybe because I'm used to it or I would rather be alone than deal with the anxiety of people. I feel lonely, but not often anymore, sometime in 10th grade that part of my brain just shut off and I stopped feeling it. I have efriends and an ebf (maybe irl soon?) so maybe thats enough

>>110737
i had three friends in high school. now that they are all in college in different areas, i don’t see them more than a couple times a year. two of them i don’t even text much. one i still text daily.

i thought it would be easier to make friends in college but it hasn’t happened for me. i don’t feel comfortable going out of my way to talk to people in courses and usually the people around don’t really interest me anyway. outside of lectures, everyone just seems busy and it would be weird to approach people like that.

i have a boyfriend i’ve been with for three years so i’m not totally alone. but i have always felt very isolated from girls my age and it makes me insecure at times. i guess i’m not lonely very often, but i get the feeling i’m doing things wrong somehow as everyone else seems to have friends to hang out with

I just posted in another "friendless" thread but fuck it, I'll vent again for a second. I was born with social anxiety disorder and it wreaked havoc on my ability to make friends and form connections. I think it also spawned my bipolar disorder somehow because of how shitty I feel. Its so hard to just speak to people, even if I can tell that we're really similar. It feels like I'm walking around in some sort of prison because, when I feel "safe", I'm not quiet or shy and I like being loud. I got into the internet at a really young age because it gave me a place to scream without being heard. I've found more companionship on image boards and obscure forums than in the real world. The thing with internet relationships, though, is that they have a shelf life because everybody has to log off and join the real world at some point.

I used to be able to easily befriend moids by being "based" but the more I worked on myself in real life (and learned shit like self-care and fashion, that I never learned lurking on 4chan and Kiwifarms as a teenager), the more I realized the men befriending me were less and less capable of just being my "friend:. Once they realized I was never going to fuck them, they slowly disappear in pursuite of some other peice of meat. For some reason, I can't seem to make women friends. Maybe all the time I've spent around men and online has tainted me in some way I can't quite pin point. Or maybe its because I struggle to speak to people in the real world because their presence alone freaks me out on a primal level. Don't even get me started on them looking at me.

At least I have weed, and a whole lot of international trips planned to fill the void. I want to go to Japan again, I really enjoyed how reserved everyone was. For once, I felt like I wasn't a fucking freak for being so quiet around other people. In a way, I'm slowly beginning to enjoy the isolation. Being alone on a friday night with nothing to do and nobody to send shitty memes sucks though.

>>114189
I relate to what you have said here, nona. I have social anxiety and i'm autistic, trying to make friends always resulted in people not being interested or bullying in the worst cases. The closest thing to a friendship i've had are people i used to talk to online, but at some point these people moved on with their lives, and i ended up in the same place i was before meeting them.

I would never be friends with males, the last time i tried to become friends with one he used me as an ego boost, admittedly. Males are never interested in genuine friendships, they only sees us as a piece of meat, if you're an ugly woman you have no value to them.
On the other hand, i've never been able to make female friends, most of them seem comlpetely alien to me. I've always wanted to have a female friend who understands me, but it's like she's nonexistent.
Socializing has always been hard, but doing so in person is another kind of horror, i never seem to do well enough no matter how much i try, and people are able to see that. I get looks all the time and it makes me feel ashamed honestly, i wish i wasn't the way i am.

I'm glad you have something to cope with. I would love to visit other parts of the world, but i think the loneliness would eat away at me anyway.

Find hobbies and things to look forward to. Small things add up over time. Supportive friends take time to gain but they are very worth it. Volunteer and get a sense of what other people suffer through because it will build your sense of purpose and give you perspective. Outweigh the negative experiences by at least 5 to 1. Getting over this feeling is only possible with time and learning more about yourself. The world is truly beautiful and existence is the most special thing in life because it allows us to experience emotions, good and bad.

>>113812
No it most certainly is not, it is a fucking cesspit.

>>113812
>>113811
She's right. You don't have to volunteer (though it's a great idea), but find people who are worse off than you. Treat them kindly, hang out and bond with them. You'll feel better about yourself just enough. Trust me.

Also uninstalling your negative thoughts takes months/years. That's just how it is. Have faith that you can one day be happy, keep that faith and eventually you really will. Get good at something that benefits your life in any small way. You'll start out shit, but in a few months you'll get good enough to start advising new people on how to do it properly. 1.5-2 years is enough (yeah sure it's a long time, but true meaningful change takes time. In life there are NO easy fixes. Deal with it.)

Continue ignoring men. You're not going to get anything out of them lmfao. When you hone on your strengths and get just a little confident in what you do, you'll find a moid who will genuinely admire you for your confidence and will do anything to stay with you. Based off the men in my family, the kind of men who genuinely value intelligence tend to be constantly single. I know several women who think sexually like men (value looks foremost) and men who think like women (discard looks when there is no chemistry). There are big differences between the sexes. At the end of the day, many people just want to spend time with someone who will put up with and laugh off their eccentricities.

Your distrust for people is completely reasonable. Maybe you had an expectation that people were good and trustworthy, but the truth is there are no "good" people. People do good things and bad. Your best friend will backstab you when the payoff is high enough, that's just rational game theory and a fact of life. To expect otherwise is to hold humanity to an irrationally high standard. That doesn't mean having a best friend doesn't hold great value. Such friendship serves you wonderful company, fun times and comfort when times are rough. If you had a friend who was that loyal to you, you probably wouldn't consider them your best friend anyway because they would pose no challenge or excitement to you.

I don't trust people either. I meet lots of people regularly and I feel very paranoid in the first few meetings, because the risk of identity theftPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>113881
They most certainly are not social animals i know because i've never been one. I just get resentful of people because what they want makes me feel hollow. I relate to nobody. I've given up trying to find anyone that relates to me.

I don't have control of my mind because its depressed and i hate existence. Everything in it. I don't know when it started I've always felt apathetic, numb, angry, depressed. I have no real explanation.

>>113883
I feel the same way. My most frequent recurring thought is I wish I were dead. I wonder what it is like to enjoy life and look forward to things.

>>114170
Take your time with it, lots of the stuff I have in my room is stuff that I somehow got my hands on over time. For me it's mostly gifts my friends gave me or stuff I got off the flea market or normal stores if I really liked it. At first your space might look a bit bland, but imo collecting stuff that makes you go "hey, I love this, it'd be great in my home" is what adds most soul. For starters maybe add some personal fotos if you feel like it lacks individuality, it doesn't really get any more individual than that, right? Also imo depeending on the color scheme (and size) it can change the vibe a lot. If you don't really have any fotos you could hang maybe there's some pictures you like? I like getting stuff like that at the flea market, not only does it have a lot of soul, it's also quite cheap. Or if you paint or draw and feel comfortable you can even hang stuff like that. I personally wouldn't obsess too much about having every single thing going with everything else in color, but then I guess for some people that works out fine too. In the end it's all up to you - just take it step by step for now and enjoy the process :D

>>113782
As far as strategies, be wary of anyone that becomes a part of your life without any conscious effort on your part. If someone just shows up repeatedly, the human wiring for social behavior will default to letting them in until you realize months later that there’s a reason they wanted in so badly. That’s why normal people are so put off by desperation, even though there are plenty of desperate people that there’s nothing wrong with.
So if someone initiates too many times in a row I consider why. If they’re just lonely fine. If they have something to gain I draw back a bit. If they mirror that, then we’re probably good and I reach out eventually. If they continue initiating I’m out.

here's another obnoxious thing about parasites. they always have to avoid moral accountability when they do something wrong. it is always whataboutism and pointing their fingers at other people with them and redirecting attention to other energy draining resources.
most people just go - "yeah, that was wrong of me. let's move on and do better." meanwhile, parasites always fixate on never admitting to wrongdoing, because that means constraining their behavior and not acting parasitic in the first place.
i hate parasites. i wish they would just go away forever but they never shut up or stop being parasitic.

>>114165
also also
ive noticed that people who tend to be morally disengaged also tend to be the most parasitic. if you don't ever try to plot out or identify a moral map of any sense, naturally you have the most room for parasitic behavior.

"no one cares about how you look or if you're weird, they're too busy thinking about themselves!"

okay.. so? this take has never been helpful.
its that I CARE. and i dont know how to stop.
i dont want to care. i dont care how i look when im home alone, i mean i feel like shit ab myself.
but in public i feel like a freak. i have shit posture, walk weird, SHIT at talking,. i overthink. how to stop overthinking? just stop giving a fuck. how to stop giving a fuck? how to stop giving a fuck?how to stop giving a fuck? im so pathetic. its awful. i dont want to be pathetic. how am i going to ever grow up. i turn 23 this year. fml

>>109569
Men never have the intention to get in a relationship they just end up in them if gives them more sex than the contrary.

>How is your life right now
Meh. I have no close friends and the situation with my boyfriend isn't great, even fun things remind me of how alone I am because everyone my age is in a friend group. I don't like being around people much but I really miss having a trustworthy friend. The one I have is always gossiping about everyone so I don't tell her anything personal. I have to find a new job and I'm really holding out hope I might meet someone. I've been looking into working as a farmhand, I'd likely need a tractor license though. But I would like to move away from everyone, I lived in the same town my whole life and the only people I ever see around are old bullies. For some reason the familiarity makes me feel even more isolated.
>Do you go outside?
Yes. I love taking long walks in the forest, when it's dark I'll walk in the street. Also my job forces me to get out of bed but luckily I don't have to talk to people much.
>Any friends or company?
I have one friend I don't really trust, I like her but I don't trust her. My boyfriend makes me feel lonely and used so I've been ignoring him, I want to break up but I don't want to be alone. And that whole "dump him and you'll flourish" is fucking bullshit, I had to cut off my best friend because she was stealing shit from me and faking diseases and haven't made a friend since. I can't afford to lose anyone at this point.
>What do you do to cope with it
Daydreaming, imageboards, smoke weed, cook, watch cartoons and listen to music. Also plan hypothetical trips. I love learning about other countries and the history of them, especially former soviet countries.
>Share a highlight from your life
I've picked up writing again, even if it might be wattpad tier I love my characters. I haven't shared any of it yet but I might, the storylines might be nonsensical but they're my characters. I love coming up with dialogue, weird situations, visualizing everything, I love it.

>How is your life right now
Not good to be honest. Everyone is graduating but me. Decided to be a lazy fuck and got back into college at 21, I feel like my professional life is over.
>Do you go outside?
Ever since I moved to this city I haven't stepped outside for anything other than college.
>Any friends or company?
None at all! BF left.
>What do you do to cope with it
Listen to Boa and cut.
>Share a highlight from your life
Hahaha

>>114093
>no one cares about how you look or if you're weird, they're too busy thinking about themselves!
As a woman that grew up with parents who loved to gossip about others, that is not true at all

Honestly I just put in as much effort into a friendship as I want and I try not to think too much about whether they reciprocate the effort because that only leads to spiraling. I put more effort into friendships that make me happy because I want to (and then it doesn't really feel like effort) and I put less effort into friendships that don't bring me as much happiness.