/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Since my husband died 3 years ago, my MIL has:

>Shown up at my house
>Called my work 3 separate occasions and told them I was arrested for prostitution
>Knocked at my neighbours house to ask for info about my activities, accused me of having a party
>destroyed anything I leave at his grave
>Opened up letters I left at his grave and acted scandalised by the contents
>Called every member of my family and friend to drunk-rant about how we all caused his death
>Every family member has blocked her on every app, since once she's blocked one place she migrates to another
>Demanded his friends stop talking to me and uninvited me from the funeral
>Called or threatened police on me multiple times
>Threatened me with lawyers over possessions of his I don't have and threatened me with police because I attend his grave
>Periodically unblocks me on instagram to tell me I'm a cunt/waste of oxygen/disgusting and then blocks me before I can block her
>All of my family have a no reply and block policy in place for her
>Asked journalist to suppress his diaries because they painted me in a good light which threatens her narrative that I abused him (aka used reasonable firmness to take his drugs off him. He died of an OD)
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

What do you do when you run out of things to talk about and they're not interested anymore?

Anyone else just accept the fact that they'll never have a husband and kids? How do you cope?

my OCD is killing me rn pls can someone talk me down from the panic

asleep, i’m paralyzed by your dreams
in delusions, i hunt for diamonds

asleep, i’m crazed by a gentle violence
asleep, i’m unaware of right or wrong
in delusions, i tear the flesh from your past
in delusions, i sew that flesh onto mine

asleep, i’m falling into envy-induced sickness
in delusions, i’m nothing–just another sweet tooth for you

The breeze a gift//Life in a breath always ephemeral//The post office returned all my letters//Does the pollen sleep or is it destroyed//I know you took nothing with you//Though where did you leave my heart//Pain is not ephemeral//The flower will die again and again//I stand tall waiting for another boot

So I have a crush on a Twitch streamer.

Normally, when I know that I have a crush on some e-celeb… if you could even call him that? I mean, he’s known but I don’t think he’s MASSIVELY known, you know? I guess he’s somewhat obscure and has been throughout his streaming career.

But anyway, whenever I feel a crush coming on, I would either watch their content less or stop watching altogether. Even worse when there is already a GF in the picture and it’s awkward fantasizing about a man who is already serious with someone else.

Like, they already have history (and not to mention, the GF is always cool as HELL too— usually talented with something related to games) and I’m absolutely talentless and not as knowledgeable about the subculture.

I don’t know but this morning I started to cry over this because DAMN.

I could never have the man— our worlds seem so vastly different and he seems mentally stable and I’m a cocktail of psychiatric illnesses, I bet. But also, even if I wanted a man like him , again, I am not “Twitch Streamer GF” material. I love video games and wished to be a dev, at some point. But I feel like I’m too old to make my break in the scene. Everyone had been around since child and teen years but I’m in my mid-20s with NO exposure to these communities.

I don’t know. Recently, I’ve been struggling with this crush but also the realization that I wasted my childhood dream of being a game dev, too. I am sorry if I sound all over the place but thank you for reading !!

No idea what to study or do with my life, I’m just working half time at fast food

I have a good head but got burned out and after going to a psych ward after graduation my mental health only declined

Would like to know what kind of job or study y’all have

What even is a good career this days??

Is it based to cut contact if you have strong feelings, so you don't compromise for just friendship?

I don't want to give away too much here, and I'm here just to vent or the smallest chance someone here has or is going through the same thing.

My soul feels crushed every time I open my phone, and see his face, or music attached to someone's post and It's nearly impossible to avoid elsewhere especially that he's the artist of the moment, to also see online that there are women talking about wanting to sleep with him, or get his attention really pissed me off especially at the beginning of the breakup, what is most hard, and I feel so terrible for doing this, is that I've got caught up in a new relationship. I can say I've moved on, but I don't even know if this is right for me. To be with an artist since he was even known as someone, to have known him before fan pages, or people tweeting his music. My new boyfriend is the complete opposite, I've not only lost my muse, but my new boyfriend isn't as power thirsty and ambitious that he were, and I don't know if it's what I need, or what is stopping me as I also have my goals and ambitions. I don't want to compare, and with this short thread you can automatically feel sorry and think I am shitty for being in a relationship with my new boyfriend, but I promise I love him a lot, but it's eating me up inside that I see my ex's face everywhere, knowing that I was supposed to be standing up with him, and he would support me from the side. It's like our chemistry was so good together, but being with a partner with the complete opposite interests, and no ambitions like this is just making me feel like I'm just like my mother who quit everything because of my dad, and I don't want to be held back from my own goals.