/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>115053
That was nice, thanks nona.

>becomes socially unacceptable to post about bf who is hot and tall
>one post then thread dies
… Where's the rest?

>>114927
he looks like a pixar cartoon

very understandable and based. you should look into 6B4T movement and maybe go out and try kissing some girls

>>115917
which is based

>>115955
oh they do. But it's mostly misinformation. if they start the conversation with stats we have the ammunition to shut them up if that's the only input they take. Also don't forget to call them fags or anything to do with getting cucked, it makes them seethe.
Ideally you wouldn't get involved but that just makes it more bleak for people that don't know. We should have some opposing force to retardation.

>>111137
You need to understand that sites 4chan show the worse in the male population. While are majority of men are all sexists pos most of their misogyny is not as extreme as you see on sites like 4chan. Take a break from the internet.

>>111137
i browsed r9k for a year straight after being bullied by a couple normies i think i have to kill myself now but i dont want to die

When they get angry and say those things, it's projection. If they were happy and winning, they wouldn't be saying those things online.

The wheat and grain are yet to reap
Clouds billow like white sheets
in the blue sky, the sun still stands,
hounds course through reeds and sand.

Rivers sparkle as they pleat
through narrow streams which
lap at feet, laughter echoes
through the trees:
Whose days are these?

i just hope that soon, all your friends will see you for who you are.

Joke’s on you bitch, my friends are all just like me.

>>116449
Not moids, we're going to waste all of them. Their days are numbered.

Dear M

After all this time I still love you. What you've done to me is unforgivable and just outright wrong. Day for day my subconscious makes me think of you no matter what I am doing. I still have the things you sent me, letters and screenshots of our conversations about love, even your voice is something I still remember.

Sincerely, P

How fat are you exactly? You would certainly feel better if you were slimmer but it is a difficult journey that requires your active participation. It won't just happen for you, you will fail if you're not committed.

IM FREEEEEE!!!! WORST FUCKING EXPERIENCD OF MY ENTIRE LIFE

Ho fuck, I'm moving thousands of kilometres away to be with him in a week. I'm so excited, but I also can't tell anyone because I'll look absolutely insane, given we've only been together…2…months……

I wish my ldr was better at communicating or at least honest is whether or not they’re still interested in me. Feels as if they don’t care about me like they used to anymore. I’m trying to be understanding though I know they’re going through a lot in their life.

>>96223
could you show us his post? I wanna know what to look for.

I'm schizophrenic, I console myself with thinking about how it's not really forever because when I die the afterlife will be a new experience

>>116361
im with you , i dont think about killing myself like i used to but after 10 years of therapy i still feel far from being self-actualized. life is dominated by my low mood states or hypomania. i have siblings who i can compare myself to who are not mentally ill and its reassuring in the sense that seeing them makes me know this is not normal and there can be better

>>116361
i've given up on the expectation that i will ever experience completely normal emotions or cognition (schizotypal) and instead focus on smaller improvements. i've actually managed to improve my negative symptoms through this but, not positive or cognitive ones. the cognitive impairment is getting worse the longer i stay on lc. idk how old are you nona? when i was 19-21 i was convinced on suicide too but things changed once i stopped listening to therapists and taking their shitty meds. i've made more positive change in my life in this year alone than ever before, if i can do it you likely can as well. i'm really only worried about financially supporting myself because im too retarded for full time work but not enough for neetbux.

>>116517
Sadly I'm 27. I feel like such a failure to thrive. I know no one has it easy in their 20s but all of my peers from high school went to college, got married, started their careers or businesses, have their own place, etc. Everything overwhelms me so much, sometimes I feel like I need a handler if I ever hope to be more independent than I am now

I wish I knew what to say in silence, my mind just goes blank so much
I have accepted I am not fit for social settings
I used to just drink a bit to loosen up but now when I drink I just get really sad so that's out the window

>>116436
Just comment on random things in your surroundings if you reel like you're asking too many questions. Even if it sounds kind of retarded just give your opinion on low stake things. Normies want to talk even if they don't have anything to say.
>wow it's really hot today
>there sure are a lot of tourists here
>oh that drink looks really good

>If you ask questions, it makes you look like a job interviewer.
Not if you show genuine interest and find some common ground. You can't JUST ask questions, you've got to engage with their responses.

There's videos on this with practical tips btw. I don't have them on hand rn but I'm sure you can find them if you search for it.

i struggle with this too and i'm socially retarded, but recently i was able to make a new friend. i sat down next to her said hi and told her "i love your hair" which she then complemented me back and we just started talking from there. Of course it depends on how receptive the other person is but if they aren't? Move on and try again. imo there's nothing to lose because you don't know them that well in the first place.

>>108447
Thank you for putting a term to the behavior. I’ve heard of that before but never related it to myself, but yep. That describes a lot of my life. Fuck.

>>108448
I think I make it sound grim but this is not something you have to live with forever. You can still change.

I think that the reason why you still find yourself in situations where people treat you like trash is because you attract such people who love to take advantage of that.
If you have low self-esteem, dignity and self-worth, and you display these insecurities outside, knowingly or unknowingly, then this is what people will see as well.
People who don't like those things would stay away, people who are indifferent to it wouldn't care about you, and people who want to fix you [and fail because they can't and they're not qualified for it and eventually leave], or people will take advantage of these traits. They abuse you because you tolerate it and they can get away with it.
So once you start working on these things, and start to display positive traits, then people who admire those traits will be attracted towards you.

Regarding past memories where you were abused or bullied, there are ways to deal with that too. We are made up of our memories, but we can rewrite them by convincing our mind that something different happened. You can imagine that you're traveling to the past and then helping the younger you to fight against the bullies and assure yourself that you're there to protect her, or you can write a letter to her asking her to stay strong. There are other things that you can do.

It'll take time, but in the meanwhile don't get into these shitty relationships and hang around idiots. You're just opening past wounds over and over again if you do that without even letting it to heal.

>>108452
Great post. (not OP but in a very similar situation down to being bullied by males)
I recently realized how much it was affecting me to hang out with "friends" that subtly denigrated me constantly and used me for narc supply, I was afraid that being alone would be worse and that my social skills would "atrophy" or whatever but the only thing that was doing was conditioning me to take more shit. Way better to just be alone for a while and make friends with yourself.

>>108452
Thank you so much for this. It’s so nice to hear some empathetic and hopeful advice for a change.

That's how you choose to express the anger that happens to everyone but you turn it onto yourself or you want to be treated like shit to express that life or life as a woman in this context since you mentioned the monogamy thing, makes you feel like a victim. Some women literally want to be beat to express how they feel as a woman in heterosexual relationships to express their position in life

>>115436
>sexy body
I would much rather keep my barcodes, thank you.

>>115436
I thought I posted a response to this and maybe I forgot to press send

either way
>exercises
>is clean five months
>still ended up relapsing
>explain to me why endorphins from exercise aren't enough
>"w-why don't you just stop"
>its an addiction you dipshit

I have dermatillomania and I feel like it'd be less embarrassing if I cut myself all over like the girl in sharp objects
I know that's horrible to say and isn't true but derma is uniquely disgusting and makes me look like I have scabies or leprosy or do drugs

>how long have you been self harming?
The first time I did it, I was about 17. I used the blade from a pencil sharpener and did my arm. It was just one or two cuts, they were small and not that bad. Some time later I did my upper arm and stomach, I think I was about 19 or 20, I can’t remember. I’ve never really done it consistently. Last time I did it was back in January of this year, which was “better” than the previous times since I did it “right” if that makes sense. The scars look deeper and definitely deliberate since I used an exacto knife that time.
>what made you start?
Depression, hating myself, feeling a need to be punished for being a bad person or fucking up somehow. Shitty thing after shitty thing happening throughout my late teens, never getting therapy, and not having friends. There is also a small sense of control with it but that’s mostly with the eating thing. The eating thing also started out of feeling “ugly” and generally hating my body.
>what types of self harm?
Cutting, disordered eating. Sometimes I bite myself if I’m nervous. I pick at the skin around my fingernails to the point that it bleeds, also out of a nervous habit or boredom. I’ve done that since I was about 8 or so. I also squeeze my throat and kind of try to choke myself if I feel a lump in my throat, I did it the other day to stop myself from crying and it worked but I also coughed afterwards.
>are you trying to quit?
Sort of. I’ve been clean for about six months now. Last week was particularly bad since I kept thinking about slicing myself with a box cutter that I have. I didn’t do it, but I could almost feel the sensation. Last time I did it it felt really good, and the thought to do it again has been almost constant this past week. I’d rather relapse on the self harm than relapse on the disordered eating though.
>any effective alternatives/ways to minimize harm?
Be lazy. Be too lazy to buy new razor blades and be too lazy to get up from your bed and actually do it. Look for any possible distraction. Talk to friends if you have them. If you don’t, talk to chatbots of your favorite fictional characters. Draw, listen to music, read smutty fanfics. Writing is also good. I like to write about characters or I just journal.
>why do you self harm?
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>How long have you been self harming?
14 years on and off
>What made you start?
I had a classmate in middle school that told me about how he cut himself. I decided to try it for the hell of it and got hooked.
>What types of self harm?
Cutting though when I was really young and dramatic I would bang my head on stuff or rip my hair out looking for attention
>are you trying to quit?
I consider myself "clean" honestly since I only relapse once or twice a year though maybe that's addict logic
>any effective alternatives/ways to minimize harm?
Don't own anything you could use for it. It being hard to do effectively helps a lazy fuck like me
>why do you self harm?
I don't like feeling my emotions and it helped with that, just stops the overwhelming feelings right away. It brings relief
>how does this effect your daily life?
I'm scarred up as fuck and live in a place with hot weather so I gave up the long sleeves a decade ago. I go about my life deluding myself into thinking that no one really notices, obviously they do but fortunately most people are too polite to bring it up. Sometimes randos will point it out though and it bums me out. Hasn't stopped me from having friends or getting jobs, though.
>any other places you go for support?
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