/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Thread to vent about crazy bpd people you know who have ruined your life or ask for advice on how to deal with them/ understand why they do what they do.

I'll go first. So I stopped talking to the bpd months ago after having had enough of her crazy bullshit, lies and vile skinwalking. I forgot she even existed. All was well. Until all of a sudden, a couple days ago, she contacts my closest and oldest friend out of fucking nowhere, in order to """befriend""" her.

They don't know each other, have nothing in common, live really far away from each other. They have only met each other ONCE.
The only reason they are even aware of each other's existence is because of when I briefly introduced them one day over a year ago (I was on an outing with my friend and bpd happened to be in the area…)

ONE DAY. Not even a whole 24 hours, we were there with bpd for 2 hours max. So bpd has only interacted with my friend for a grand total of 2 hours, over a year ago.

SO WHY THE FUCK IS SHE CONTACTING HER OUT OF NOWHERE? I don't understand? Why? Why now? Why would the bpd, who has an entire life (her own friends, classmates, colleagues, nigel, etc.) contact the closest friend of some chick(me) who hasn't even spoken to her in 3 months? What the fuck does she want?

I don't want this crazy freak to swoop in and steal my one fucking friend… She even seems to be skinwalking me since my friend was gushing about how 'similar' the bpd is to me. That's sickening to think about because last time I spoke to the bpd, I was thinking about how she was just too different from me and insufferable. I didn't even have the heart to tell my friend the truth.

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!

i went through my boyfriends phone and not only was it clean but i discovered something new in that iphone logs when you click on a photo in the gallery
i feel bad for not trusting him now…..

This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.

song lyrics

I feel like I’m rotting inside myself. I feel like every thought I have is wrong, disgusting, embarrassing, but it’s still what I feel and I’m tired of pretending it isn’t. I hate the way I am, but I also can’t stop being this way. I feel so fundamentally broken that I don’t even know where the real me is supposed to be underneath all this mess. It’s like I’m trapped in a mind that keeps malfunctioning and the worst part is, some part of me truly believes my reactions make sense even when everyone tells me they don’t.

I hate pretty women. I hate them even though I know that makes me sound bitter and pathetic. I hate that their existence feels like a direct attack on mine. I hate that beauty seems to be the one thing that determines who gets loved easily and who has to beg for scraps. I hate myself for caring about it. I hate myself for watching the world revolve around looks and wishing I had something worth orbiting.

I hate that I’m not beautiful. I hate that I’m not even average. I hate that I look in the mirror and feel this immediate drop. Like my face is proof that I’ll never be wanted the way I want to be. I hate my body. I hate even existing physically. I feel like if I weren’t this ugly, my mind wouldn’t torture me like this. I know it’s irrational but I can’t shake it. Nothing helps. Not therapy, not logic, not comparison. Nothing.

I hate the way men look at women. I hate how casual they are about it. I hate how normal it is. I hate that it hurts me so deeply I can barely breathe sometimes. I hate how I feel invisible and sick and replaceable the second I realize I’m not the only one they find attractive. Or even find attractive at all. I hate that this is just how they are and I’m expected to be okay with it, to swallow it, to get over it, to not make a scene. But I can’t. It feels like a knife to my heart every time.

And then there’s this humiliating contradiction inside me.. I hate men, but I still want them. I hate the way they treat women, but I still crave their attention. I hate their entitlement, their blunt desire, their wandering eyes. And yet I still want to be the one they look at, the one they crave, the one they can’t get enough of. I feel like an incel, genuinely. Like some delusional, bitter creature screaming into the void about desire and validation and beauty, knowing exactly how pathetic it sounds but unable to stop.

Most people would probably look at the things I say and immediatelyPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

he sent me this video and asked if she's a legit femcel or not. stupid larping girl.i just know he thinks she's cute. i know he wants her over me. she's the perfect egirl femcel idea. cutie patootie girl with cutesy interests and quirky autistic way of talking.

meanwhile i dont look a thing like her and im fat with a manly voice. i hope i fucking die. i know he wants her and would prefer her over me. i hate him.

I cannot stand the political climate that exists today. As a leftist, I’m told to hate Republicans. I live in a very Republican area and these people are not bad people. I have a very bad cold and I can’t really breathe and I had to go pick up medication and it was like $100. I didn’t have enough money and I had to call somebody to ask to borrow some money and while I was calling, this old lady overheard and paid $100 for my pills. How can I hate these people when I know that they’re good at heart?

I started dating my TA in university right after I got my mental health in line. However, the more he used me to translate his stupid papers into English, and the less attention he gave me, I spiraled more and more. We broke up after the rumors of us being together started spreading. I ended up homeless and failing a year because I couldn't handle the breakup. Moreover, I was pregnant with his child at one point as well. A couple of days ago, I took him for sushi (his demand) for my birthday and that douchebag started flirting with another girl right after we were done. I attempted to kill myself the same night and he did nothing to stop me from doing so. The thing is,I can't concentrate on my studies because I associate my field of study with him now, and I'm so codependent on him. So I plan on giving him an ultimatum-either we get back together or I will jump off the 5th floor of our university building after I type out a mail to all the journals he published the works I translated for him in exposing how I had been used and uncredited, as well as after I write a suicide note exposing our toxic relationship and power disbalance, playing a victim, making 100 copies and placing them all over the uni before I kill myself. Will the plan work? If it doesn't, will my suicide at least cause him to get kicked out of the uni and to lose all possible job opportunities?

i can’t get my ex to leave me alone. he messages me every day. sometimes angry messages. sometimes messages saying he’s misunderstood. he abused me the entire relationship so i don’t know what he wants. he certainly hasn’t apologized. he seems to go back and forth between trying to degrade me and trying to persuade me to come back. i don’t know if this is romantic or sexual for him. it’s been years.