/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>122038
Aww , i feel so hard for you.. I found my dad's cheating evidence at 10/11, and I never saw him the same/ as a good guy after that. My mother later went on to detail how he was doing it the whole time. Even when my mom just had us…
The audacity of shitty ass "dads"!!

>>122041
I'm going to destroy his entire being he is going to pay for this

>>122037
Cheating is so stupid.. for one, you're(addressing your dad here) going to be found out, also, why make your own life more complicated? But most important - you could have spent your resources on the family you chose to create you stupid moid.

>>122044
Based. Sometimes scorched earth is the proper response. Start gathering as much dirt as you can.

>>121599
tell your dad you know what you did and threaten him to delete contact (if its ongoing) or you will go to your mum and tell her. If not, if he does it again you will find out and tell mum

>>122303
The idea of "confessing" is terrible course of action to begin with, but you probably fucked up in other ways too. If you aren't interested in friendship, just give it up.
I recommend keeping the conversation history in the form of an archive so that you can refer to it in the future if necessary.

aw I'm so sorry. I've heard that pain/soreness in your lower back and hips could be because of an anterior pelvic tilt so maybe just the posture of your lower back is poor. worth checking out.

You are not alone, I get very heavy periods with horrible pain in my lower back and just everywhere below the waist really. I have to mostly spend the first couple days in bed. It's getting close to that time for me again too and am dreading it. otc pain meds don't do a thing for me, I'm given prescription pain medication for it which mostly helps. Feel better nona.

sounds like something that can be improved easily by not eating or drinking stupid shit.

if your diet consists of coffee, energydrinks, soda, light chocolate, ramen, cookies, pasta, pizza and cheese then this might be how it manifests.

you could also try an enema a week, there is a good chance you are somewhat constipated. if you have excess weight plus constipation, this might mess with your temperatures.

if you are not getting enough exercise and don't sweat enough you might be creating a bottleneck, preventing proper removal of metabolic waste.

how's your relationship with your dad?

>>122276
fucking terrible. i don’t live with his abusive ass anymore

>>108036
Get over it and grow up.

I've known all my life girls like you were fucking liars. Making my life harde than it needed to be. You were conartists and full of shit. Jealous about everything and making nice girls lives hell. I became a complete bitch because of girls like you. But all i wanted to do was enjoy my life away from moids and have nothing whatsoever to do with them. Its a curse though, men gravitate towards me because im easygoing and dgaf..and somehow becoming a bitch and having an attitude just made it worse. But all i want is for them to bother you and not me. Maybe if you calmed the f down and learned to chill you could take the burden away.

Please learn how lmao

>>118323

u what?

>>118191
Had the most perfect virgin boyfriend. He cheated on me. No moids are pure even if you call them your good boy and take care of them like a mommy.

>>118323
lmfao joker ass monologue

>>122293
he would have cheated on you even if he weren't a virgin

>>122233
Why did he have mild ED if you don’t mind me asking?

>>122222
This is funny but also sad.
How do you even end up with guys like that?

>>122237
Yes, but nothing serious this time. This was my third long term relationship, this guy really cared for me but I couldn't give him the same love. Something is broken inside me.

>>122252
I don't know… I never asked details about his therapy sessions, I think they are deeply personal. I presume it was psychological ED related to anxiety.

>>122222
dont worry too much nona it was probably just bad communication about what you both wanted from sex. like how much were you on top? how much was he? what did ya'll want out of oral that kind of thing. i like to watch porn (like the demented autistic girlie i am) to watch what people are doing then combine that with what actually feels good during sex. also like emotional connection can make a big difference, the guy i am currently dating is not the best skill wise but the communication and connection is the best i've had so the sex is better

>>122222
men's opinions don't matter at all

Once by an Indian guy who kept trying to kiss my cheek and once by an older guy in a movie theatre who asked if I was a prostitute. I spent 45 minutes talking to a guy in a bar, incredibly interested in him the entire time and exchanging socials, only for him to accidentally make a slightly risque pun and then immediately apologise because he didn't want me to get the idea he was hitting on me and offend me. I eventually dated a friend from school and he was extremely eager, obviously very happy I'd asked him out. I asked why, when we'd been going out on what I thought were dates every weekend for literal months, he'd never even hinted at a relationship. He just said "Oh, well, just in case I was misreading the signs, I didn't want to get into trouble over a misunderstanding".

Men now think compliments shared in private, interpersonal conversation are tantamount to harassment. The profound retardation of male EQ should be considered a disability.

most people are normal and nothing changed from 30 years ago youre all just retarded

>>122257
go away moid

Getting hit on is overrated. Boyfriends and flings I’ve had were ones I approached first. Guys who don’t approach first are actually better because they don’t immediately feel like they’re entitled to you. When I get hit on, they end up being boring time wasters. Dating apps suck everybody knows that, but if you’re at a high density area with plenty of attractive guys, it doesn’t suck that bad and you actually get to curate who you see.

>>122184
“Women hitting the wall at 25” is a pedo narrative. As if men age any better when they don’t have money for plastic surgery and hair transplants.

>>118890
congrats!!!

>>118890
congrats!!! wish u the best

I'm wearing a new dress for the first time and I feel so pretty!

I bought an ice cream bar with sprinkles and chocolaten It was delicious!

I have been abroad in a spanish speaking country taking classes. I definitely didn’t apply myself as much as I could have but I also applied myself more than I could have! I really feel like i’ve improved and i’m very happy. The other day I was scrolling wikipedia and I was able to read an article in spanish! It wasn’t easy, but I could do it! And last night I could understand my spanish book that I gave up on two months ago. I’m trying to practice being proud of myself. It’s nice to have something so concrete I can measure progress by.

It exists I had this with someone once. He thinks I manipulated him now when I didn’t he was always better with people than me. I miss him. I wish he didn’t think my sorrow was fake.

whenever the topic of unconditional love comes up, I always feel that it's always tied to unhealthy shit like overly idealizing a relationship, fantasizing too much or otherwise deluding oneself in some manner
I guess that's just how my experience has been. Even abusive relationships famously start out with an extremely strong honeymoon phase because the man conjures up some fake image of an absolutely deferential and submissive waifu

they exist! it's like… feeling beautiful. the kind of euphoria that druggies chase after.
ik people say 'be yourself!' but truly. have no filter, say your opinions, say whatever comes to mind, have an Open mind, listen to others, have Interest in others. The people who stick around you, because you are being yourself, you know they like YOu.
Other piece of advice if you're really into something niche (media, academic field, sex stuff, or otherwise) and you're like "my person needs to be into this" … go to online forums or in-person meetings for those things and be bold, make friends! (i say this because i found my bf who is an incredibly kind and generous person, on a kink site. love is real)

remember you're the only person who's going to die for you. So make the effort to appreciate yourself. start small and let yourself glow with comfort in your skin. Pick up a hobby or learn something new - there's something you can love yourself for. it's just remembering you're human, imperfect, and your existence is beauty itself. So don't let a man bring you down (if you find yourself too nervous to open his texts, or he reacts negatively to anything inherent about you like your humour or aesthetic/dressing style, Run!!)

Sry for word vomit. i think the main idea here is to appreciate as much as you can, live as yourself as much as you can, and when you begin to let your inner radiance shine, others will see that - including the man who will adore you.

stay strong, in the meantime look at some power lines or trees and remember it's going to be okay

>>122228
nice to hear someone having a good experience for a change

Not to be rude but you have to put in a lot of actual work even with meds. Meds aren’t a cure. You need to be self aware and you have to push yourself.

I don't know about ADHD itself, but ADHD symptoms may be caused by other things like trauma (cptsd) or nutrient deficiency. (like the first post nona said)
If you're always distracted by bad memories or are dissociating (spacing out) it could easily be trauma.

>>122231
I want to help you but we need more info. What does your day look like? What are you eating? How are you sleeping? I find my life is very heavily dominated by the main tenants of sustenance:
1. Eating well. Fast food, sodas, sugar, lack of vegetables, etc. hits us harder than neurotypicals. We must feed ourselves with care. High protein breakfasts are a necessity if you want your meds to work.
2. Sleeping. You must get consistent sleep and sleep at the same time every day. Obviously you can have a few days off, but I find the further I stray from my schedule the harder it is to get back. You’re also going to need more sleep than a neurotypical. Your brain works harder to do what our society requires of us, so we need more sleep.
3. Outside structure. We need to leave the house every day (which can be so hard with executive dysfunction). We also need outside structure… If you expect yourself to manage your life, you’re setting yourself up for failure. My grandpa has ADHD. When he was six years old, his teacher told his mother, your son is going to need a really good secretary! He’s lucky he’s been able to own his own business and do just that. He pays her extra to manage his whole life. Be upfront with bosses/professors/friends that you appreciate being held accountable. You don’t have to (I would even advise against it) share that you have ADHD.
4. Just stuff like exercise and socializing go a long, long way. Daily routines you can rely on and go back to but that don’t trap you. Learn how you learn, learn what helps you. Try new things. I find when I get stuck places putting on a TV show or some music helps immensely. It gives me just enough dopamine to get unstuck or stop doomscrolling. Stuff like that.

Life with ADHD is so, so fucking hard. It’s just enough of a disability to ruin your life but not enough for other people to believe it’s actually a disability. But there IS hope, and being medicated is a huge start. Is there something specific you are trying to do? I have various strategies I’ve developed for various things. They’re not foolproof. My biggest piece of advice is sleep. Everything for me comes back to sleep.

>>122250
youre so right this is a solid four point list to get my life in order. Food may be the biggest obstacle for me ngl i am very nervous of cooking meat … i will learn asap (my girlfriend is currently trying to teach me how to cook well)

the things i am trying to do? mostly academic things. i'm an undergrad student, i dislike my course (was pushed into it by family) but i'm finishing my penultimate year now so i might as well get the damn degree ..

i struggle with getting the coursework done because i really don't enjoy it. this is the biggest stressor in my life right now, i just don't like the stuff, so it's hard to get myself to do these things. Alas.
and i will keep sleep in mind. I've always known i sleep a TON .. never knew it could be cause of the adhd !

>>122246
forgot to respond to this one in my recent reply..
Yes i am also diagnosed w/ ptsd, though i never gave a thought to its 'interactions' with my adhd. working on finding regular counselling!