/feels/ - Advice & Venting

i was proposed to but there are a lot of red flags and i’m really having some doubts. for starters it was an impulse proposal and i wouldn’t have wanted my engagement photos where i was dressed the way i was. he let me leave the house looking like absolute shit and only posted the ugliest photo. the other photos i don’t have a double chin. other girls have best friends that take them to do nails and secretly get them ready. a female friend was there and knew and didn’t do anything to help me with my appearance beforehand. he bought the rings there. i don’t know if he thinks i’m fat but my ring is sized so poorly i can’t wear it and we’ve been turned down so far at the shops we’ve taken the rings to because they don’t work with cheap metal or rings they didn’t sell there. like it’s not a size too big it’s dangling off my finger and i have no idea why he thought my finger would be so huge it makes me want to cry. my friends are all furious for me. he doesn’t make that much money it’s true but he could have gotten me a real ring. and then i came home. and i found out his ex got proposed to the same day. the same. day. and she had been aware of it and had a spa day with her friends and a gorgeous engagement shoot and party with loved ones. and it’s not even her real engagement party. hes talking about whether or not i think she’ll send him the announcement “to rub it in”. they have mutual friends and i can’t help wonder if my engagement was a last minute response to her engagement so he could post ours first? she had a professional photographer and mailed out announcements before she posted online about it. my engagement photo shoot was also an impulse - we were on a walk with a friend and he snapped some pictures and we called it an engagement shoot. my ex had been talking about his exes prissy snobby etc engagement and i think our friend felt bad for me. since then, he’s disappeared inside himself. he’s on the computer all day. he wouldn’t even pay attention to me right after at my dads birthday party, just sat in a lawn chair in his stupid yellow shirt drinking beer after beer scrolling on his phone occasionally hiding his phone screen trying not to make eye contact with me. we had a talk about it and i said i wasn’t insecure and my friends have been supportive and game with me when he won’t. he got jealous and has been making an effort to join in now and NOW he has a problem with screen time and wants to go out. to places he used to go with his ex or placePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

What does a healthy and good relationship with genuine love look like to you?

I feel like every feels thread is about boyfriend issues… You all need to grow a backbone and just leave them I don’t understand why that’s so hard. Moids will never be worth all the headache you put yourselves through!

call me and tell that. send flowers to my moms, my cars in the shop but i’ll be there for christmas eve and christmas. knock on the stupid door. please stop leaving messages that hurt my heart because i can’t confirm they are really you. we are real people in the real world. this is driving me into psychosis. it is making me schizophrenic and crazy. enough with the random websites and throwaway accounts. apologize to me so we can have a good year. i don’t know how or what you have planned to make it right but please just do it because this is like being taunted.

Anyone else not enjoy "normal things" and try to look for more meaningful and heavy hitting things?

>No alcohol or drinking
>No drugs, no smoking, no vapes
>No masturbating or vibrators
>No night clubs
>No shopping addiction
>No social media and sharing stories that nobody cares about anyway
>No desire for a boyfriend that won't support or be there for you when you need it anyway
>No desire for friends that only want to complain to you

Having independence and peace is good, too.

a couple months ago i posted about the guy i like getting engaged to her long term gf and that i felt bad about it because in my perception he is(was?) a good guy.

but a couple days ago he texted me, we didn’t spoke to each other since he got with his gf btw, we kind of updated each other about our lives until the topic about partners showed up because he asked. i didn’t want to go there but he did.

i told him i’m single and that past certain age is difficult to meet people in an organic way, then he told me he didn’t find difficult to me to find someone because he used to like me lol

he then went about a lot of details about situations that we lived when we were younger, about how he always found me pretty and with a nice personality but he didn’t thought he was my type at all.

he remarked that all those feelings were in the past, but that he felt better letting me know because he had seen me improve in general and was proud about it.

idk why i feel bad about the whole situation, like i had taken part in a conversation that shouldn’t have happened because if i was his gf i would feel horrible if i find out the guy i’m engaged to reached out to his past crush of years ago just to tell her that. idk i just needed to put this somewhere

Why am I feeling like I am never good enough?

I feel like I have to be more fun, more entertaining, more spontaneous, more unexpected and having new material or else he might stop talking to me and find someone else.

Finally understanding 'All men want is sex'

Are men capable of care or love at all?

I recently stood up to a girl in my friend group who has been treating me like shit all year in private and doing petty mean girl stuff like kicking me out of our group chat, making plans with me and then canceling without explanation as to why, and also ignoring my texts when I asked if she'd be willing to be mature and talk things out in person instead of being passive aggressive to me all the time. It was at a party a mutual friend of ours was throwing and I basically texted her an essay there explaining how she's done me wrong all year and how I hope she learns some maturity for next year. Then, instead of addressing me personally, she ran out of the room crying, acting like a victim and everyone at the party basically turned on me saying that somehow I'm the one who was passive aggressive all along and now they're manipulated by her into thinking I'm the one who was an instigator. I fucking hate being Gen Z and I fucking hate being apart of this generation of crybullies.

i feel really sad because i have had a lot of gay male friends, and each one has let me down so badly. i have dealt with so much cattiness and rude behavior from them. right now i am fighting with a friend because i have not been putting much effort into my appearance lately. my mom just passed away, and life feels so bleak. i honestly just have no energy. i have lost a lot of weight and cannot be bothered to wear makeup or anything other than jeans and a t shirt. instead of showing any empathy or concern, my friend, who is gay, constantly makes the cattiest and rudest comments about me and keeps telling me i look like skin and bone, like a dead corpse. he even said this in front of a mutual friend, a guy he knows i like. it has been making me really sad, and about a week ago i finally told him to stop. i also made a comment about how gay men often think they can be catty and get away with misogyny. that really offended him, and he basically said i was being homophobic. we have not talked since. i have dealt with so much of this behavior from gay men that i am starting to feel like they can be just as bad as straight men, if not worse sometimes.does anyone else here have any experiences like this?