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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 113757[Reply]

I feel like I'm so ugly without makeup. Even after being showered in compliments. I get many compliments from unattractive men. I never get any from men that are good looking. Tinder, instagram, real life

How do I cope?
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122805

Genuinely, people always look uglier with makeup.

Anonymous 122838

>>122805
Nonsense, you're simply unobservant. You probably only notice makeup when it's done poorly or the person is already ugly, and most people who don't wear makeup are otherwise attractive.

Anonymous 122839

>>122838
My mother never wore makeup, so maybe that's why I think that. But don't call me stupid and unobservant, like I don't know the difference between a natural human face and that oily greasy bullshit.

Anonymous 122884

>>122805
This but there are exceptions. Though it isn't makeup technically those fake noses asians glue on top of their real ones do indeed make a noticeable positive difference but I find it ridiculous to actually use it. Or when someone has acne so bad it's actually repulsive, we're talking unseen extremities here

Another example are people with a natural blush that looks like they applied blush in a very trashy way so that you cover it up to look more natural

I'm still antimakeup though and don't use it
>>122838
Nta but 99% of women I see wear it so it's hard to not notice

A big part of makeup being ugly is that knowing that it's makeup makes it hard to unsee how fake it looks. If I was to forget that makeup is a thing and perceive everyone as 100% natural then yeah makeup beats nomakeup like half of the time. You also have to consider the playing field, if you're not wearing makeup you're usually the only woman in the room that doesn't which makes you stand out in a positive way

Anonymous 122886

>>113757
My grandma says I'm attractive, and it feels wrong to me to compliment strangers. It's like I'm stealing time from their lives


2e6c1c061e6d316494…

asexual/low libido with a girlfriend who isn't? Anonymous 122905[Reply]

i somewhat recently got into a relationship with a girl that i've known for a while. i've had talks with her before we started dating about how i'm not really interested in relationships, but that has (obviously) changed since i met her. i really like her, and i'm in no doubt about my feelings for her. but, now that we're together, she's made somewhat flirty comments about my body, or hinted at sexual things. i don't mind that she does it, and if anything i find it sweet that she views me in that way. the problem lies in that i'm very low libido, arguably asexual. i'm not repulsed by the idea of sex, or having sex with her, but i really have no need for it. it's not really my thing. if she asked me to, i'd do it for her, but i'm pretty indifferent.

how do i break the news to her?

Anonymous 122907

>>122905
I think just telling her the way you wrote it here is good enough, it's very respectful. If this makes her leave, it would have done it sooner or later, so just wait for an appropiate moment and tell her.


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my boyfriend used to be a porn addict and it makes me miserable Anonymous 122881[Reply]

I feel like being a woman who likes men it's so humiliating, why am I madly in love with someone who used to comment weird stuff to onlyfans models? how am I attracted to someone who used to jerk off to anime girls with dicks??
He also likes rough sex, I developed a "fetish" for this too, but it makes me feel so bad that I always end up crying after. The worst part is that he also started slapping me and hitting me outside of sex, I feel so miserable and unlovable
5 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122898

>>122881
>He also likes rough sex,
Must be circumcised

Anonymous 122900

>>122898
We must CIRCUMvent all CIRCUMsized moids
No but fr death to all mutaloids

Anonymous 122902

>>122898
i was thinking the same
>>122894
at the very least leave him. you can do better and deserve better

Anonymous 122904

>>122881
girl … just break up with him damn

Anonymous ## Cleanup crew 122932

Moved to >>>/nsfw/15114.


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Abusive OCD bf pt 2 Anonymous 95617[Reply]

>>>/feels/34633
Last thread hit limit and many nonas seem concerned for her safety.

If you see this, we hope you are ok! Please give us an update on the police situation.
134 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122393

OP here. My paperwork came through, but my next appointment with the welfare manager isn't until July. I don't know if I can wait but I'm scared of being homeless. Every night I have to shower 3 times and wash my feet twice between cleaning the walls and floors. I get berated for alk my "mistakes" before I can sleep. Living out if a manga cafe would probably be easier but I'm scared.

Anonymous 122605

OP. My next meeying is in two weeks, I'm not going to let myself convince myself I want to stay. I will say I want to leave.

Anonymous 122638

797902a124b38288a1…

Hey, OP.
It took me too fucking long to leave my BPD husband. Years. He left me with physical, mental, and emotional scars and he couldn't care less, as long as he could control me. That's the goal.

He wasn't interested in seeking help for himself or "getting better"—they were sweet little lies crafted to keep me enslaved.

Once I left, it.. surprisingly.. my life wasn't that much more difficult. Turns out, not having to cater the demands of a deranged psycho puts everything else on easy-mode.

Will you struggle? Oh, yeah. But guess what? You'll be free. You get your life back. You get to become a person again. You get to take care of yourself.

You deserve the happiness that he has made clear he will NEVER give you!
You're so fucking close! Keep at it! You're almost there!

Life will be so much more beautiful once you're free! I fucking promise!

Anonymous 122826

>>122638
Thanks, I'm trying to remember this. We'll go out and have a good time and I'll think it's all in my head. Or we'll have a fight and I'll get worked up, and then believe that I'm at fault.

Currently every time I come back to the apartment I have to shower, wipe the walls, shower, wipe the walls, shower, wipe the floor, wash feet, wipe floor, wash feet, and wipe the floor.

He claims I decided on this routine and I can't change it because "it's been decided."

Counting down the days until my next meeting with my welfare manager.

Anonymous 122876

Screenshot_2025062…

>>122826
"He's upset and it's my fault, because I wasn't supportive enough / didn't do what he wanted me to do / didn't anticipate his needs enough."

Those are all 100% lies I used to believe about my partner, too. It was the mindset that kept me chained in that miserable prison of a relationship.

The times that I viewed as "good" weren't really "good"– they were just breaks from terrible ones. I just set the bar so fucking low. Like viewing your captor as "kind and merciful", because they gave you a piece of stale bread.

Once you escape him, you won't have to walk on eggshells in order to manage his unreasonable emotions.
You won't have to sacrifice your well-being for the basic right to not live in fear.
You won't have to live in a fog of doubt, anxiety, and shame, just trying to hopefully obtain that "good day"— because it can all be shattered in an instant.
IT NOT YOUR FAULT.
Nor is it your responsibility to manage your captor.

You're so close.
You can do this.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


im-scared-hes-goin…

Anonymous 122774[Reply]

Disillusioned. Spent a large part of my life being inclusive to people who are "different" because of feeling like an outcast in childhood. Shit just blows up in my face. I don't consider myself GC or anything like that but I am noticing a sickening pattern.

Why is it that nearly every trans woman I've befriended or have to work with has caused absolutely fucking chaos in my life and acted like they were the poor little victim when I called them out on it. I can't talk about this shit anywhere or I'm a bigot apparently.

I remember when I came out as bi to my friends over a decade ago, my family somehow found out, and then it was a total fucking nuclear explosion of issues. I was ostracized in my small town for something I didn't even want to be known publicly. But now it's some bizarre purity test to be some flavor of queer and if I don't mention it I don't deserve respect?… Maybe it's because I'm so past that point, but my orientation is such a small part of my life and has little to do with how I view the substance a person has.

I don't want to dictate how other people live, whatever you want to do go for it. But I've been used, stalked, screamed at, and professionally sabotaged by people like this more often than the rest of the population, totally unprovoked. Ten in a row is insane and a pattern. I rarely get treated this way elsewhere. Even the men I work with are decent and kind in comparison.

My boss will be pretty assertive with anyone except the trans women on our team. I was being creeped on by one of our clients and one of the trans women basically sabotaged my safety. The other sabotaged me at a public event. Boss just shrugs her shoulders when I bring this up and is way too nice to them. Says some shit about second puberty and calls it a day. What's worse is I think her processing is skewed because she has a trans daughter that's financially and emotionally abusive to her. She is an elderly disabled woman, and I feel like they're only getting away with this because she's walking on eggshells. It hurts to watch because I'm also disabled and was abused by my family for it. But her daughter just gets away with it because “she's going thru a hard time.” That's not love.

Weren't we still expected to have accountability while we were going thru puberty?? I'm so sick of this bs without being able to talk about it.

What do I even do? Who do I even talk to?…
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122811

>>122799
This, troons are just male predators.

Anonymous 122813

>>122774
that's because they're male lol, of course they're going to be abusive, controlling, and extremely unpredictable. stop catering to those degenerates, remove them from your life, interact with only women or normal men if you have to

Anonymous 122814

>>122813

I'm forced to work and perform with them until I can find a better job. I don't really have a choice. I told one of them to stop interacting with me unless it's work related and they pitched a fit with management despite them causing the hostile work environment. All I can do is bitch and moan at home in the meantime.

Anonymous 122837

>>122774
Sounds like you just need to associate with better people, trannies or otherwise. Make better friends and find a better job. Obviously easier said than done, but that's your only way out.
>>122779
You answered your own question.

Anonymous 122873

>>122837

I get the sentiment. But I've associated with all kinds. I think it's just difficult to pick my way thru to find the type of woman that would be around here but in person. I also live in a city that's well known for catering to this crybully bs. Maybe I need to move to the woods and give up on friendships.


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Anonymous 122863[Reply]

>Never have had a friend
>Never had a group of girlfriends to vibe with
>Never had a boyfriend or guy friends to do guy stuff with
>Feel used by people constantly
>People only want to talk about themselves, their life, their problems
>Unless it's about them or related to them, they literally don't care
>You have to care about their life / problems / passions but they don't care about yours
>You want to support, hype them up, be there for them but they're never there for you
>Every friendship / relationship feels one-sided where you care about them but they won't ever care about you
>Share something about your life, and people don't care, unless they can make it about themselves somehow
>Feels like people only like what they can get from you or how you make them feel
>People always say I look sad or upset

Anonymous 122868

do you have discord? would you like to talk with someone?

Anonymous 122869

Why have you never had a friend?

Anonymous 122871

I grew up probably a decade before you, if you're the age group I think you are. We had a very different social atmosphere and different patterns of relatability then. It's a lot harder to build bonds now, especially with complications made post-covid and due to the changing nature of the Internet becoming enmeshed with everyday life. Including social media being engineered the way it is. It's not just you. It's a pervasive issue that's tricky to articulate but as much as it feels like it, you aren't alone. It's just harder to connect with people like you because of the way of the world currently.


Hikikomori_,_Hiasu…

/rock bottom/ - general Anonymous 76609[Reply]

This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.
188 posts and 21 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122718

>>122694
Those cost money dum-dum, why make a broke women broke-er. Never institutionalise loved ones, not even your worst enemies.

Anonymous 122725

>>122718
Psych wards should be free, like prison

Anonymous 122727

>>122616
You can still recover, as long as you're not fat.

Anonymous 122771

new rock bottom, havent been with anyone for nearly 10 yrs and recently slept with someone who pretended tobe cool with a close intimate relationship but was actually creting an environment of confusion and pain. im shattered and weak and relapsing.

Anonymous 122866

>>122688
Well, I have done all I can for her. A lot of it was paperwork, fixing expired ID stuff and getting her finances in the best state they can be to get approved for a new place, found a few options for places though none are certain yet. I got all the documents she needs to do the most recent five years of taxes and secured an appointment with a free tax preparer to get it done - the rest of the taxes will have to be sorted out later but buildings only ask for the past 2 years of tax returns. I helped her fix her resume and cover letter, secure some letters of reference, get approved for unemployment, and taught her how to fill out the work search requirements. I finally convinced her that her non stop coughing was asthma and got her some inhalers with a spacer to use and her cough is so much better now which is a big relief because it was really bad. We went a got a few clothes for her because the things she was wearing were so ragged. I blocked the youtube recommendation algorithm on her computer and she's mad at me about it but can't figure out how to undo it and I'm not about to tell her. And I packed a lot of things in the house and cleaned out all the closets and cupboards. Her sister says she'll come help pack the rest next week and then I guess we'll just hire movers when the new place is locked in.

It was a lot of work but having her available to do stuff like help find papers or recover passwords even when she was spiraling or combative made it possible to get all this stuff done. When things reach a crisis point she usually just disappears into the mental hospital and if she had been hospitalized I would have just been visiting her in the hospital and she would have been medicated out of her mind and totally regressed into a child like state and I would have been dealing with power of attorney stuff just to try and figure out what was going on financially. She's pulled herself together a lot and also has been cooking nice meals for us because cooking calms her down. She says she is feeling a lot better and ready to keep things moving forward after I go and I just hope that's true.


__nanashi_mumei_ou…

Anonymous 122655[Reply]

What is being in love- real love, not infatuated or forcing to try to find the good in a relationship, actually like for you?

Anonymous 122656

>>122655
First, we have to both be virgins. I don't care what modern times has to say, it's not true love unless it's with your first and only partner.
Second, we have to be comfortable talking to each other without having to put on a show, the same way I talk to my family.
Third, we have to both have some sort of life outside of the relationship, which, on the other hand, won't encroach upon it. The relationship has to be the most important thing in our lives, but not the only thing.

Anonymous 122658

congming33 1.jpg

never been in love. maybe never will. its okay

Anonymous 122678

>>122658
I love you, nona.

Anonymous 122850

we both stim equally hehehe


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What makes someone boring? Anonymous 116081[Reply]

I know that I am a boring person but I just don’t know how to be interesting. I have a decent amount of friends and can handle conversations and be a fun presence when I’m with a group of friends, but in a 1 on 1 conversation I’m just dull as dishwater. When I talk with people 1 on 1, I can barely maintain back and forth speaking and I can tell the other person is not at all interested in what I am saying.
I’m not expecting some silver bullet for my problem that will instantly make me interesting but just stuff like better habits? I don’t even really know. I just want to be more interesting, and really what I want is to be able to get close with my friends. Sure I’m a fun member of my friend groups but no one really knows me and I can feel really lonely because of that sometimes.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122804

>>116081
You have to be interested in things, even mundane things. Little things should be able to make you happy or sad or frustrated or whatever. Then, when you talk to people, you're actually able to talk about your life or what you did today.

Anonymous 122808

>>116303
fuck I can't tell if another nona wrote this or I did wtf

Anonymous 122821

depression

Anonymous 122832

Just follow the next steps:

1. Consider yourself as a prohuman rights activist for the only reason of consumming audiovisual offal/shitty youtube video essays, wear yourself as an idiot or posting political shit through social media.

2. Consider yourself as an entirely entitled artist/perfomer for no reason when addressing someone.

3. Assay how to both perform and project a sexual heterodox personal image towards whoever you meet.

4. Post on social media every single social encounter you have, even if it might seems way utterly irrelevant for most of people.

5. You should slightly prompt yourself as adventuress, so just act like if wide world and it´s cultures were your personal touristic entertaiment, moreover do not forget to post everything you saw whereupon visiting it.

Now you know the game. You are ready to be as interesting as fuck.

Anonymous 122836

I thought about this and have come to a conclusion

you're either too inhibited emotionally so you can't really be fun

or you're not really at a cognitive level (social skills, wit, life philosophy) where you can entertain people or where they can find your words meaningful


a8af6b32af974e17ae…

how to stop being mentally ill in my relationship? Anonymous 122806[Reply]

it's been some time since i've started officially dating a girl that i've been friends with for a while. we're pretty close, and i love her more than i can really put into words. but, i've been struggling with anxiety in our relationship. if she doesn't text me back within an hour, i start to get anxious and worry that she's mad at me. even if she has a totally reasonable excuse that she's told me beforehand, i still worry. do to something that happened between us in the past, i have a really serious fear of her leaving me.

how do i stop myself from getting anxious and worked up when she doesn't text me back? something i do now is deleting instagram, so i don't have to worry about getting a notification that she's texted me. it helps a bit, but i still can't help but worry.

Anonymous 122809

>>122806
sounds to me that "stopping being mentally ill" over it is just putting a fig leaf over the real problem. do you have low self esteem, nobody else other than her who can tend to your needs etc

>do to something that happened between us in the past, i have a really serious fear of her leaving me.
what is it?

Anonymous 122819

>>122809
i mean, i would probably argue that i have low self esteem lol. but she makes me feel loved, which is why i love her so much. i have other friends that i like, but not in the same way i like her.

>what is it?
i’d rather not say, but she didn’t cheat on me or anything. it’s not really something i hold against her either.

Anonymous 122822

>>122819
idk how to put it but I think this feeling signals a legitimate concern that she doesn't make you feel safe

doesn't mean she's a bad gf but maybe you don't feel you can rely on her to take your side
or not to violate her boundaries
just minute things that are important but you forget about eventually while your subconscious still buzzes about it


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