/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I've gotten to the point where I've become such a touch-starved femcel, I've started to envy and hate pretty girls who have been SA'd or stalked by men before. Instead of feeling sympathy for for them, I get to the point where I am annoyed and disgusted hearing their stories where they had that one ex boyfriend that just "couldn't let them go" or having had a man in their life obsess over them. That has been the stark opposite of my life. As a femcel I have been ignored by men my whole entire life, and the exes I have managed to have had all wanted to ghost or abandon me, none of my exes were ever obsessed with me. None of them blew up my phone constantly or begged for me. At this point, I see women talking about obsessive exes as nothing more than humble bragging, especially Stacies, complaining about how "oh so hard" it is that they've had an ex obsess over and stalk them. They don't understand that the life of a femcel is much worse. I would take their life over mine in a heartbeat. Being a Stacy where I have men obsessing over me, stalking me, and wanting to grope me versus being the touch starved ignored femcel I am. It's easy to see their life is easy mode of people doting on them all the time (their life) versus a life that is absolute hell (my life).

all the men i talked to just made me insecure about my appearance and made me compare myself to other girls.

and i hate it, cause i constantly compared myself to the girls they mentioned and created an internal female rivalry with them. like, i didn't hate the girls, i js wanted to be like them and thats impossible. i only hate myself because genetically it would be possible to change my appearance, maybe in another life. and what irritates me the most is that I forgave it, even though sometimes i commented that i didnt like it and they obviously dont care. so because this, in my head, its impossible for someone to genuinely like me because of my appearance and my body, even if i consider myself a nice girl.

i hate moids who dream of an ideal type of woman they never have and say that to the girls they talk to. or guys whose minds are corroded by pornography

im 18yo lesbo9000 and ive had terrible relationship issues my entire life, usually being a mixture of both me & the other person being the problem

ive got insane mental issues but i recently got a girlfriend (although we were basically dating for a long time now). shes really nice to me: she doesnt randomly ignore me, and doesnt suck at communication. shes really happy to see me and doesnt mind me texting her a lot (She even likes it WTF?). she also has issues but works hard to be the best she can be

but its crazy feeling so fucking normal for once. no more three-times-a-day mental breakdowns and cutting myself over stupid bullshit. being in a healthy relationship feels so fucking weird in a Nice way. im really not used to it and i feel like a stray cat being randomly picked up on the street and given a domestic home. but its something i want to get used to. is this what relationship issues/attachment recovery feels like? Cool…

i feel like ill never find true love as a woman partially because men are shit and partially because im also an emotionally unavailable woman who wants very specific things out of a man. im just mad every man ill ever be around is a shithead and men make me feel so mad and evil

I even texted him happy valentines day and he didn't even say it back. He only said he couldn't do anything for me and he felt bad.
He just went out with his friends to drink and I feel lonely and sad.
He told me we couldn't meet today because he had to study, I don't know how to tell him how bad I feel so instead I'm drinking cheap whiskey and watching Gilmore Girls

I'm unmedicated bipolar and when I'm manic I get really hypersexual, I don't do hookups atm I just make out with people here and there

Men want me for my body and don't emotionally connect with me the way women do

I can't find a partner to have sex with at the moment and I don't want to get into a bad relationship by being desperate

I get clammy around people that I find attractive, I alternate between staring at them and looking away, I get beyond flustered with cute people

I've been downright creepy towards people I've crushed on, both men and women

Do you ever see someone attractive and get carried away?

I feel so guilty about this all

Whenever my mania goes away so does my sex drive, I'm worried that it makes dating me difficult
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I can’t believe that sex and relationships are a normal part of peoples lives. The older I get the more foreign and farther away those things seem to me. It doesn’t even seem real. For normal people, it seems to just happens to them without resistance. Love, marriage, kissing, fucking, starting a family. It’s so common that they would have a hard time going a few months without it, let alone their whole lives. I wonder what it would feel like to be loved and accepted just for existing. And having things just come naturally for you because of that.
I wonder what being held by a man that’s safe and in love with you feels like. I can’t stop thinking about it

It's broken in a weird way. One day, out of the blue while I was typing code in Visual Studio, the monitor turned to grey static all of a sudden and the computer wouldn't respond to any inputs. Then, next time I tried to turn it on, it made a weird buzzing sound and wouldn't show anything on the screen. I have worked with lots of computers but never seen anything like this before.

Technical specifications:
- HP Desktop Slim 2021 Model
- 16 Gigabytes of RAM
- 1000 GB m.2 drive with Windows 10
- 500 gb m.2 drive inside a PCIE16 adaptor with Linux Mint Cinnamon
- I was on Linux when it crashed

Please let me know if you have further questions or solutions. I use this computer for professional purposes and need it for a programming project.

Are toxic female friendships common? What are they really like?

As a 25F with literally no friends, I always wondered how bad other women can be.

I'm jobless,and uneducated.I'm held back.

I lack in-person adult school. My attempts at net school and mail courses failed due to them emulating the lack of support,and proper education I recieved. Brick and mortar adult school is necessary because it provides community. Not to mention, I'm exhausted from self-teaching without guidance or feedback. Relocation to attend an adult-school is necessary.

I live online. I lack solo-hobbies, such as reading physical books, or embroidery,as doing anything my family does not approve of feels risky.There is lots of activites I want to participant in, but my family holds me back.When I go outside, I am accused of doing something weird. Hence, to avoid conflict, I stay in my room. Given they do not participate in casual sports,or volunteering,doing so would make me ostracized.

I'm unemployed.I'm a caregiver. My sibling has an illness, and my parent is scared for them to be alone. Hence, I cannot work. I am also in the process of geting my ID. My parent lacks consistent hours, so working around their schedule would be challenging.

I love my family. But this is unfair. I'm unable to pursue a social life, and work towards my career goals. I feel an obligation them. I do not have in me to go out and do the activities I want to anyway, ignoring them. I do not want to come home to accusations,and be yelled at for defying them. I expressed my concerns to them, and they claimed I have everything I want. That is false:I want a job, and an offline life. I want independance. I'm ashamed of being a NEET.