/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>126702
u can do better nona u dont deserve to stay with a horrible male

It's crazy how I never listened to Lana Del Ray even though I knew about the coquette scene back when it was niche. I just thought all the women were attractive lol
Maria and The Diamonds though… She was the goat. Better than Lana and Melanie hands down.
>>126693
Ethal Cain is irrelevant, that's a fucking moid. God I hate that stupid fuck so much. Men literally can't leave women the fuck alone even when it comes to aesthetics/music that is exclusively about womanhood. TTD.

>>126699
if she just masked more she would be so much more successful but she is authentic in a way that i think frightens a lot of people and they struggle to just take her at face value and believe what she says about herself and try to categorize someone who is intentionally having an authentic experience and therefore isn’t trying to flatten herself into one dimensionality and fitting in one neat little box like people want women to be

>>126670
Made me want to go on an alligator tour. Not to meet a guy like she did, just sounds fun.

>>126755
they honestly are super fun because they recognize the boats and come right up to be fed. they’re like polite dinosaurs. when i went on one the guy would have them wait turns even it was crazy.

>>126615
that made me feel a little better. thank you sweet nona.

I’ve lost weight but I still feel so fucking disgusting.
I know I should be proud of myself, but I can’t bring myself to be because in my mind I’ve made virtually no progress.
I started at 225 lbs and I now weigh 165. I’m not done losing yet, but I’m starting to feel really fucking discouraged.
I still look so fucking awful, if not just a little less wide than I used to be. I still have rolls and I can already feel the fact that I’ll have loose skin on my thighs and arms and stomach. The worst part is my legs, because I carry all my weight in my thighs so they’re still fucking gigantic.
Like even though I’ve lost weight and I’ll eventually get to my goal number, I won’t ever fucking feel pretty because I let myself get that big in the first place. It’s not even going to mean anything.
I struggled with binge eating all through out high school. I couldn’t take the feeling anymore so I decided I would finally try to stop binging and lose the weight, and I’ve been doing pretty consistently well as far as the scale goes, but I just feel like i barely have any visible progress to show for it.
I know I’m still overweight but even as I get closer to my goal I’m worried I’ll still look awful.
I feel so sick to my stomach because even after all I’ve put myself through I still can’t be beautiful and it’s all I’ve ever wanted but I guess it just isn’t attainable for someone like me. I hate living in my body, I hate looking the way I do.

>>126618
>>126618
hi, just know that the closer you are to your goal weight the better you'll look. youve made so much amazing progress already, and ive been in your place before. i also struggled to lose weight on my thighs but what helped the most is incline walking and power pilates. it doesn't matter how much you've used to weigh; what matters now is that you're changing and you're becoming healthier! keep going!

>>126630
thank you for the advice and kind words i really appreciate it nona :)

Even with makeup on I still feel like shit. Because yeah, I can put it on and be objectively prettier, but I just keep thinking about how the makeup industry targets women’s insecurities to get them to spend money and how I’ve fallen into that trap. I wish I could say I do my makeup for myself, as an artistic expression, but I 100% do it for others.

>>126668
Maybe you're acting too desperate?
That's relatable. You can't force it though, just try to feel comfortable with someone, that may work better than trying too hard to appeal to them.
>And my closest current friend already had a best friend with whom she probably is close so with me she won't become close.
>had
So they're not as close anymore?
I used to have three best friends I was super close with, but we drifted apart and they stopped talking to me completely. I'm now closest with someone I barely ever talked to and barely share interests with. We feel really comfortable with each other, she's just really chill. Sometimes, that's all you need.
You can still try being closer to that current closest friend. And make more friends while you're at it, you never know when someone could turn out to be someone you really want in your life.

>>126668
Are these IRL friends or online “friends”?

>>126668
These people are low functioning psychopaths. It might be more that you're subconsciously pulled to psychopaths

Ever asked yourself why? Ever noticed ?

>>126676
This is true too though you might be needy

people are either selfish/individualistic and believe in things like emotional labor. or they are hurt and reluctant to trust new people. or a combo of both.

someone without a history of friendships and relationships is a red flag. sometimes it has nothing to do with you and it’s just where other people are. sometimes you trigger something in someone else’s pattern recognition and it doesn’t even have to be a real thing about you. you just reminded them of someone else.

when you take it personally every time or view normal distance from strangers as an attack, it can change your vibe and people can pick up on that. when you’re going into something expecting pain and disappointment and rejection and maybe feel nervous or defensive, people feel that emotion and wonder what’s going on in the interaction to make you feel that way. sometimes it makes them angry sometimes it makes them nervous. sometimes people even take advantage.

all of this can literally be bypassed by confidence and level eye contact. not i’m above you but everyone is my equal. you don’t have to care what anyone thinks of you. they’re not the judge. and you can also probably name some stuff you don’t like about people if you really think about it. no one is above you. there’s no one to impress. if you can internalize that people will like start begging to be around you.

hopefully this posts i just put it in the wrong thread

I absolutely get not getting along with women easily, it doesn't make you a bad person. I'm not autistic but I'm somewhat dissocial so I find getting along with groups of people intolerable. Bonding is hard too.
What I've accepted is most people will never click with you and you have to stop expecting them to, but you can still enjoy them for what they are. The moids who approach you probably feel less threatened by you cause you're not a part of a group. There isn't ill intent necessarily, a lot of moids are socially stunted.

So yeah I would advise you to be sociable just enough to maintain a connection with most people, but don't try to force a deep connection with them. It can only come from someone who has your experience in life.

>>126734
ty nonita. that makes sense with them not being threatened that im not in a group. i kinda suspect that my androgynous appearance contributes(no makeup, deep unmasked monotone voice, flat chest, kinda masculine face) ive gotten mistaken as mtf before lmao. what you said about most people not clicking is really true. Do you also not get invited to stuff/you’re the one being invited? Ive stopped putting in energy when things no longer feel reciprocal/they don’t click with me. Appreciate the advice

>>126735
>Do you also not get invited to stuff/you’re the one being invited?
not usually, but when I do get "invited" I always get some sense that something is not right and I'm just performing or tolerating them. like idc if you don't get me but want to hang out it feels kinda like mockery. I prefer doing the inviting instead.

Glad it helped.

Also I want to add a bit advice just in general - there will be people who seem to kinda "connect", but in reality it's some weird mimicry because they project some image onto you that seems cool and want to own you like a social pet or smth. There will be people motivated to fawn but in reality they don't understand you and are unreliable, because they're motivated by social points and see you as social capital. It's fucking bizzare but it can happen. I wouldn't say you have to avoid these necessarily, it isn't inherently bad, but I feel like it can benefit you to know about this fake type of connection. I think men are probably more motivated to do that but generally it can happen from women too.

>>126736
yeah i get why you’d not want to be invited, i would get suspicious as well that they’d want me to “perform”. I can see what you’re saying about the mimicry part too, that’s kinda happened before with friends seeming to idealize me. you ever feel also kinda cursed/chosen in a way as a true social reject/dissocial lol?

>>126737
>yeah i get why you’d not want to be invited, i would get suspicious as well that they’d want me to “perform”.
I think normalfags perform all the time too but they seem to enjoy it, or at least it doesn't go against their sense of self. I always thought it was stupid for some reason.

>you ever feel also kinda cursed/chosen in a way as a true social reject/dissocial lol?
I used to! I was medically neglected for a while which kept me very aloof and socially stunted due to stress and pain. Now that I'm healthier I have no problem socializing but I realized I just lack the capacity to care about social norms. I love when people readily share their real feelings instead of hiding behind a mask so it's not like I'm completely asocial. This is why I don't enjoy group dynamics probably, they are never frank, unless full of autistics or smth. They always have some sort of checks and balances that keep you from doing whatever you want.

>I can see what you’re saying about the mimicry part too, that’s kinda happened before with friends seeming to idealize me
Do you also feel like it's nice but hollow?

Anyways I enjoyed this chat a lot nona. Thanks and have a nice day/night wherever you are <3

I feel the same nona :(
Right now I tried playing new games after feeling an awful depression. I started exercising, as well as enjoying hobbies and indulging into some of my interests.

Being yourself is being alive, everything you do is yourself. We are our actions.

You cannot just "be yourself" you are yourself already.

Real purpose is to find a goal, something you like, small perhaps.

Plunging something, pumping or doing a flip

you train hard
you fail you do it again
until you do it you process it
you move on
you do something else

>>124938
Art is the only thing worth thinking about for me. It beings me joy that compares to nothing else.

smoke so much weed and play stardew valley for forty straight hours or read an entire series in a week

>>126687
Inspiring!

>>126691
the memories can’t hurt me if i am number and i occupy every brain cell. or sleep

>>126635
oh yes another lesbian spewing some more misogynistic incel talk. jfc dude you are deranged.

Tolerance to sexual deviancy has no place in a healthy society.

>>126590
I used to get frozen pizza only on birthdays..

>>126675
the way i started nodding before i realized what you weirdos were on about. how is a woman loving another woman DEVIANCY? go ask the men in your life hard questions and leave wlw alone? go bother a fucking coquette age player? literally there are entire reddit communities of pedos and people who molested children to harass. you could get this energy out any other way and instead you’re being homophobic because a girl will hold another girls hand. you sound crazy. literally there are men in your life who have harmed women and have crazy internet footprints. where is this energy for them?

>>126681
i will make you a frozen pizza daily my princess. i would make you REAL pizza.

I’m wondering the same thing. I’ve found some success with befriending older people (I’m 24, I’m talking 30+). it does feel quite hopeless, though.

>>123014

Damn, I'm in my 30s and having no luck. I feel like when I was younger I was more open minded or maybe this kind of thing has made it worse. Or perhaps my standards have changed…

>>123013
my guess is they'd be just as interested in meeting you as you are in meeting them but they will be hard to find.

the mainstream internet is a battlefield, completely corrupted by various non-consensual interests so my guess would be it'd be easier in real life. probably not in big cities.

Good question.

>>125768
they want a virgin because being the one who degrades her makes them excited. it’s not romantic. they want to be the one to defile you. they want someone who said no to everyone else. they don’t actually care if you say yes to THEM. they will rape you and just lie and say you said yes.

>>125602
had a man tell me he literally saw me in his dream for half a decade before he met me, rape me the second we were alone, bragged about me to this incel friends who were jealous he “stole me” from a friend i didn’t have feelings for and had told no i didn’t want to date you 500 times. there was no stealing. and then he timed the rape so he could escape out of the country, left me because he couldn’t rape me anymore and i was showing signs of trauma and crying in public at six flags with his friends there about what did to me. then spent all his time abroad having sex with prostitutes around his base until he was dishonorably discharged and ended up dating the minor he had been online grooming for months before and after me.

>>126564
Nah, at least women don't bond over abusing men.

>>126629
women will bond to men over abusing other women though. come forward about rape. it won’t be the male friends that bother you publicly. it will be some woman who is either dating him or wants to and thinks because you are both women, somehow she’s allowed to scream at you follow you around drive by your house and send you threats. the day i spoke up i got told there were people in my yard standing under my window that were going to jump me for being disrespectful. it was all one woman who wasn’t even dating my abuser at first. your abuser will also go on to forge bonds with new women with this almost “us against the worldl” level shit against his “crazy ex.” there is honestly nothing borderlines like better than being told by their favorite person (who is always a man) that they are better/different from some other woman. they’ll get the same treatment being called the crazy ex but that brief window where they are on a pedestal is like crack to them. the man will then go on to use all of this behavior against them in the discard phase mind you. but that’s the real narcissistic high cluster b’s are after. the “i’m better than her” feeling.

>>126629
the male abuser is obviously still the worst but there’s a type of almost covert abuser woman that attaches itself to men and assists them. it’s why you never see women do this stuff alone. it’s his fault. but there are some women out there who hate and seek to harm other women too.

I'm jealous of girls with clear skin, especially really fat girls who eat like shit. I cut out so much of my diet (white carbs, dairy, I eat minimal sugar and fats), bought so many skincare products but my face is still acne riddled.

I'm jealous specifically of fat girls with a ton of potential because even though I've basically done all I could to improve my appearance esp. with diet and fitness my highest potential is ugly while all they have to do is literally put in like half the work I do to be a 10/10.

i’ve never felt jealous of another woman.

Damn imagine wasting your time thinking about how pretty you are in relation to other women.

You know what's so much more interesting than that, look at this awesome bowl of oyster dipping noodles.

>>126198
My philosophy prevents me from caring about people's husk and start critically analysing the way they speak and think instead.

I'm jealous of girls who look similar to my type but prettier. So a rounder jaw, more upturned nose, puffier lips, clear skin, or curvier body, all make me jealous. And thick, long hair too.

The only thing making me feel better is knowing i pass as slightly above average\cute which is good enough to not be treated like a troglodyte I guess. Besides, even the most beautiful women in the world get treated like trash and cheated on, so what is even the point of looking beautiful then.