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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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every person I meet turns out to be cold while I want closeness Anonymous 126668[Reply]

So my first friend ghosted me without a word saying that she's not made for close bonds with anyone. My other friend said she doesn't feel the need to become close with someone. My yet another friend says the same. And my new friend said she doesn't get attached to friends and never feels deeply for them. Why am I so unlucky? And my closest current friend already had a best friend with whom she probably is close so with me she won't become close. I just want a deep connection and mutual attachment and obsession.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126678

>>126668
Maybe you're acting too desperate?
That's relatable. You can't force it though, just try to feel comfortable with someone, that may work better than trying too hard to appeal to them.
>And my closest current friend already had a best friend with whom she probably is close so with me she won't become close.
>had
So they're not as close anymore?
I used to have three best friends I was super close with, but we drifted apart and they stopped talking to me completely. I'm now closest with someone I barely ever talked to and barely share interests with. We feel really comfortable with each other, she's just really chill. Sometimes, that's all you need.
You can still try being closer to that current closest friend. And make more friends while you're at it, you never know when someone could turn out to be someone you really want in your life.

Anonymous 126684

>>126668
Are these IRL friends or online “friends”?

Anonymous 126725

>>126668
These people are low functioning psychopaths. It might be more that you're subconsciously pulled to psychopaths

Ever asked yourself why? Ever noticed ?

Anonymous 126726

>>126676
This is true too though you might be needy

Anonymous 126742

people are either selfish/individualistic and believe in things like emotional labor. or they are hurt and reluctant to trust new people. or a combo of both.

someone without a history of friendships and relationships is a red flag. sometimes it has nothing to do with you and it’s just where other people are. sometimes you trigger something in someone else’s pattern recognition and it doesn’t even have to be a real thing about you. you just reminded them of someone else.

when you take it personally every time or view normal distance from strangers as an attack, it can change your vibe and people can pick up on that. when you’re going into something expecting pain and disappointment and rejection and maybe feel nervous or defensive, people feel that emotion and wonder what’s going on in the interaction to make you feel that way. sometimes it makes them angry sometimes it makes them nervous. sometimes people even take advantage.

all of this can literally be bypassed by confidence and level eye contact. not i’m above you but everyone is my equal. you don’t have to care what anyone thinks of you. they’re not the judge. and you can also probably name some stuff you don’t like about people if you really think about it. no one is above you. there’s no one to impress. if you can internalize that people will like start begging to be around you.

hopefully this posts i just put it in the wrong thread


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advice for male friendships Anonymous 126733[Reply]

im 18 freshie in college and most of my interests, clubs etc is male dominated. in the past ive had some issues with male friendships bc of emotional grooming, unreciprocated feeling and also hearing all these stories about male friends turning against the woman/being potential threats. im pretty cautious and have boundaries when it comes to men but something just puts me at unease with them(which makes sense) and makes it kinda hard to bond. i guess growing up and seeing men constantly hate women in male dominated spaces online that i am into+ knowing about the crime stats and everything just makes me distrustful, so i’m kinda biased. most of the men that approach me seem to be a bit older than me and idk if they’re interested just in trying to get with me(which is reasonable to think). i am trying to make new friends and connections. i don’t know why, but it’s hard for me to befriend women. i really want to but it seems like oftentimes they don’t really click with me for some reason, or maybe just because my interests are male-dominated. and i do enjoy a lot of "girly" things, so i’m not sure what’s going on there. i’ve been diagnosed autistic, for reference. then again, my interests are genuinely out there so i have trouble relating and making friendships with alternative/geek people. i don’t approach/try to befriend men generally, i let them approach me first. do any of you nonas have advice for me?

Anonymous 126734

I absolutely get not getting along with women easily, it doesn't make you a bad person. I'm not autistic but I'm somewhat dissocial so I find getting along with groups of people intolerable. Bonding is hard too.
What I've accepted is most people will never click with you and you have to stop expecting them to, but you can still enjoy them for what they are. The moids who approach you probably feel less threatened by you cause you're not a part of a group. There isn't ill intent necessarily, a lot of moids are socially stunted.

So yeah I would advise you to be sociable just enough to maintain a connection with most people, but don't try to force a deep connection with them. It can only come from someone who has your experience in life.

Anonymous 126735

IMG_5712.jpeg

>>126734
ty nonita. that makes sense with them not being threatened that im not in a group. i kinda suspect that my androgynous appearance contributes(no makeup, deep unmasked monotone voice, flat chest, kinda masculine face) ive gotten mistaken as mtf before lmao. what you said about most people not clicking is really true. Do you also not get invited to stuff/you’re the one being invited? Ive stopped putting in energy when things no longer feel reciprocal/they don’t click with me. Appreciate the advice

Anonymous 126736

>>126735
>Do you also not get invited to stuff/you’re the one being invited?
not usually, but when I do get "invited" I always get some sense that something is not right and I'm just performing or tolerating them. like idc if you don't get me but want to hang out it feels kinda like mockery. I prefer doing the inviting instead.

Glad it helped.

Also I want to add a bit advice just in general - there will be people who seem to kinda "connect", but in reality it's some weird mimicry because they project some image onto you that seems cool and want to own you like a social pet or smth. There will be people motivated to fawn but in reality they don't understand you and are unreliable, because they're motivated by social points and see you as social capital. It's fucking bizzare but it can happen. I wouldn't say you have to avoid these necessarily, it isn't inherently bad, but I feel like it can benefit you to know about this fake type of connection. I think men are probably more motivated to do that but generally it can happen from women too.

Anonymous 126737

>>126736
yeah i get why you’d not want to be invited, i would get suspicious as well that they’d want me to “perform”. I can see what you’re saying about the mimicry part too, that’s kinda happened before with friends seeming to idealize me. you ever feel also kinda cursed/chosen in a way as a true social reject/dissocial lol?

Anonymous 126738

>>126737
>yeah i get why you’d not want to be invited, i would get suspicious as well that they’d want me to “perform”.
I think normalfags perform all the time too but they seem to enjoy it, or at least it doesn't go against their sense of self. I always thought it was stupid for some reason.

>you ever feel also kinda cursed/chosen in a way as a true social reject/dissocial lol?
I used to! I was medically neglected for a while which kept me very aloof and socially stunted due to stress and pain. Now that I'm healthier I have no problem socializing but I realized I just lack the capacity to care about social norms. I love when people readily share their real feelings instead of hiding behind a mask so it's not like I'm completely asocial. This is why I don't enjoy group dynamics probably, they are never frank, unless full of autistics or smth. They always have some sort of checks and balances that keep you from doing whatever you want.

>I can see what you’re saying about the mimicry part too, that’s kinda happened before with friends seeming to idealize me
Do you also feel like it's nice but hollow?

Anyways I enjoyed this chat a lot nona. Thanks and have a nice day/night wherever you are <3


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How do you all cope? Anonymous 124938[Reply]

I struggle daily with finding meaning in anything, and feel so alone in all things. I recognize that so many people are just doing things to cope with that same dread and loneliness. It seems like no one knows what they are doing or why. It all seems so pointless to me. Why does anyone keep going? What is the point? How does someone even find real purpose? How do you all do it, nonas?
6 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125371

I feel the same nona :(
Right now I tried playing new games after feeling an awful depression. I started exercising, as well as enjoying hobbies and indulging into some of my interests.

Being yourself is being alive, everything you do is yourself. We are our actions.

You cannot just "be yourself" you are yourself already.

Real purpose is to find a goal, something you like, small perhaps.

Plunging something, pumping or doing a flip

you train hard
you fail you do it again
until you do it you process it
you move on
you do something else

Anonymous 125374

>>124938
Art is the only thing worth thinking about for me. It beings me joy that compares to nothing else.

Anonymous 126687

smoke so much weed and play stardew valley for forty straight hours or read an entire series in a week

Anonymous 126691

>>126687
Inspiring!

Anonymous 126692

>>126691
the memories can’t hurt me if i am number and i occupy every brain cell. or sleep


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Lesbians are the most oppressed, idc Anonymous 126590[Reply]

>Discord will ban you if you don't like trannies
>Reddit will ban you of you don't like trannies
>/r9k/ supports prison gay men and attention seeking fakeecel ethots but will shit on you and exclude you for being a lesbian
>/lgbt/ will shit on you for not being a Goldstar
>radfems will shit on you for not finding fat hairy ugly bitches attractive or for liking anything that isn't holding hands and kissing bc anything else is "male gaze-y"
>right wing twitter shits on you for being homosexual
>left wing twitter shits on you for being transphobic, aka for being an actual homosexual
>Bluesky…. Why are you on Bluesky?
>I don't know any secret tags on Tumblr for lesbians, but the fact if there were any it would be annoying to have to walk on eggshells else-wise the tag gets raided for not liking trannies
>third world countries… You don't even have any rights.
>Most of the western world will arrest you if you publicly say you don't like trannies
>Even in America, trannies are allowed in female only spaces even if its prison or a domestic abuse shelter
>Growing up having to learn in school that you were treated as inferior in every way all throughout history up until very recently

Not to mention having to deal with the rhetoric against lesbians being so mind-numbingly dumb and illogical.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126674

>>126635
oh yes another lesbian spewing some more misogynistic incel talk. jfc dude you are deranged.

Anonymous 126675

Tolerance to sexual deviancy has no place in a healthy society.

Anonymous 126681

>>126590
I used to get frozen pizza only on birthdays..

Anonymous 126682

>>126675
the way i started nodding before i realized what you weirdos were on about. how is a woman loving another woman DEVIANCY? go ask the men in your life hard questions and leave wlw alone? go bother a fucking coquette age player? literally there are entire reddit communities of pedos and people who molested children to harass. you could get this energy out any other way and instead you’re being homophobic because a girl will hold another girls hand. you sound crazy. literally there are men in your life who have harmed women and have crazy internet footprints. where is this energy for them?

Anonymous 126683

>>126681
i will make you a frozen pizza daily my princess. i would make you REAL pizza.


one-shudders-to-im…

How do I make friends that aren't brain rotted by TikTok Anonymous 123013[Reply]

I don't mind a lil brain rot myself but this is a very particular brainrot that involves medical misinformation and viral contagions. It's turned multiple friends from fascinating individuals into a frightening amalgamation of micro tends. I feel like I can't talk to these people on a true personal level and don't say 'just find different people' because they're everywhere. This has happened in different cities and states over the years but I've only really noticed it more during and after the pandemic. Wtf does a bitch gotta do to find a real one

Anonymous 123014

I’m wondering the same thing. I’ve found some success with befriending older people (I’m 24, I’m talking 30+). it does feel quite hopeless, though.

Anonymous 123025

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>>123014

Damn, I'm in my 30s and having no luck. I feel like when I was younger I was more open minded or maybe this kind of thing has made it worse. Or perhaps my standards have changed…

Anonymous 123026

>>123013
my guess is they'd be just as interested in meeting you as you are in meeting them but they will be hard to find.

the mainstream internet is a battlefield, completely corrupted by various non-consensual interests so my guess would be it'd be easier in real life. probably not in big cities.

Anonymous 126669

Good question.


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Men make me feel so lonely Anonymous 125423[Reply]

I can’t handle how lonely men make me feel. No matter how kind, patient, or understanding they seem, they always end up disappointing me. They’re all lustful. They all watch porn. All of them struggle to see women as actual human beings, some just get better at hiding it. They all want you to perform for them in some way shape or form.

I ache for this so called true love. I want romance, tenderness, respect. I want someone who sees me, who values me, who cherishes me. But instead, day by day, I grow more bitter and resentful. It feels like I was sold a lie about what men and relationships are supposed to be. It makes me angry and doubt romantic love is even real at all. It all just feels like a cruel lie. I even feel like the women who claim their men are so great are experiencing some sort of cognitive dissonance.

I keep telling myself I just won’t ever get this from a man, but accepting that is so hard. The loneliness eats at me. Sometimes, it feels like being a straight woman is nothing but a curse. Being alone sucks but being with them makes the loneliness even worse.
22 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126583

>>125768
they want a virgin because being the one who degrades her makes them excited. it’s not romantic. they want to be the one to defile you. they want someone who said no to everyone else. they don’t actually care if you say yes to THEM. they will rape you and just lie and say you said yes.

Anonymous 126584

>>125602
had a man tell me he literally saw me in his dream for half a decade before he met me, rape me the second we were alone, bragged about me to this incel friends who were jealous he “stole me” from a friend i didn’t have feelings for and had told no i didn’t want to date you 500 times. there was no stealing. and then he timed the rape so he could escape out of the country, left me because he couldn’t rape me anymore and i was showing signs of trauma and crying in public at six flags with his friends there about what did to me. then spent all his time abroad having sex with prostitutes around his base until he was dishonorably discharged and ended up dating the minor he had been online grooming for months before and after me.

Anonymous 126629

>>126564
Nah, at least women don't bond over abusing men.

Anonymous 126653

>>126629
women will bond to men over abusing other women though. come forward about rape. it won’t be the male friends that bother you publicly. it will be some woman who is either dating him or wants to and thinks because you are both women, somehow she’s allowed to scream at you follow you around drive by your house and send you threats. the day i spoke up i got told there were people in my yard standing under my window that were going to jump me for being disrespectful. it was all one woman who wasn’t even dating my abuser at first. your abuser will also go on to forge bonds with new women with this almost “us against the worldl” level shit against his “crazy ex.” there is honestly nothing borderlines like better than being told by their favorite person (who is always a man) that they are better/different from some other woman. they’ll get the same treatment being called the crazy ex but that brief window where they are on a pedestal is like crack to them. the man will then go on to use all of this behavior against them in the discard phase mind you. but that’s the real narcissistic high cluster b’s are after. the “i’m better than her” feeling.

Anonymous 126654

>>126629
the male abuser is obviously still the worst but there’s a type of almost covert abuser woman that attaches itself to men and assists them. it’s why you never see women do this stuff alone. it’s his fault. but there are some women out there who hate and seek to harm other women too.


__minato_aqua_holo…

The 5 Love Languages Anonymous 126647[Reply]

What are your thoughts on it?

Anonymous 126652

>goodbye
>windows startup


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Jealousy thread Anonymous 126198[Reply]

I'm a very jealous person, so much that seeing prettier women than me can affect my mood. I wondered if this was a common thing here, what and who makes you jealous?
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126296

I'm jealous of girls with clear skin, especially really fat girls who eat like shit. I cut out so much of my diet (white carbs, dairy, I eat minimal sugar and fats), bought so many skincare products but my face is still acne riddled.

I'm jealous specifically of fat girls with a ton of potential because even though I've basically done all I could to improve my appearance esp. with diet and fitness my highest potential is ugly while all they have to do is literally put in like half the work I do to be a 10/10.

Anonymous 126384

i’ve never felt jealous of another woman.

Anonymous 126388

03.jpeg

Damn imagine wasting your time thinking about how pretty you are in relation to other women.

You know what's so much more interesting than that, look at this awesome bowl of oyster dipping noodles.

Anonymous 126477

>>126198
My philosophy prevents me from caring about people's husk and start critically analysing the way they speak and think instead.

Anonymous 126628

I'm jealous of girls who look similar to my type but prettier. So a rounder jaw, more upturned nose, puffier lips, clear skin, or curvier body, all make me jealous. And thick, long hair too.

The only thing making me feel better is knowing i pass as slightly above average\cute which is good enough to not be treated like a troglodyte I guess. Besides, even the most beautiful women in the world get treated like trash and cheated on, so what is even the point of looking beautiful then.


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frustrated Anonymous 126270[Reply]

maybe i'm in the wrong here but my female friends who have boyfriends just make me so incredibly angry.
they just make me so frustrated because they'll say things like 'oh i hate men' and then turn around and tolerate their useless male partners because somehow they are the exception. (???) i dont understand it.
every heterosexual relationship i've ever witnessed in my life is a genuine fucking horror story!!!!
i dont know. i just hate that my friends willingly give their lives to retarded insecure men who genuinely dont care about them at all. like wake up!
sorry i just had to get that off my chest hahaha
21 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126456

>>126445
You aren't supposed to drink your own kool-aid.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_the_Kool-Aid
See this post >>126453 she could be having a bf right now.

Anonymous 126462

>>126456
> she could be having a bf right now.
Idk what u think u know about me but I do not have one and would never wish to have one lol

Anonymous 126463

>>126462
Cool, now stop making everything about yourself, i was only using you as example.

Anonymous 126464

>>126463
> i was only using you as example.
Which is exactly why I said something abt it dumbass lmfao so sorry I'm apparently making everything about myself

Besides there was literally nothing wrong w/ what the other anon said so idk what ur issue is

Anonymous 126624

>>126623
imagine being this new


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Anonymous 126610[Reply]

I've never had a single friend in my entire life and I fully intend to keep it that way for the rest of my life. There are no friends in this world. All relationships form the way that they do based on power dynamics. All relationships are purely transactional. Anyone who you think is your friend will turn on you in a heartbeat once you are no longer of use to them. Love doesn't exist and never has.

There is no such thing as good people. All human beings are profoundly rotten to the core.

The sooner you learn this, the better.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126613

1697631868960.jpg

The more you have, the more that people want from you. The more you burn away, the more that people earn from you. The more you pull away, the more that they depend on you.

Anonymous 126617

You are what you eat or sometihng

Anonymous 126619

>>126610
>Anyone who you think is your friend will turn on you in a heartbeat once you are no longer of use to them. Love doesn't exist
Who hurt you?

Anonymous 126620

Love is real. That's why it hurts so much when you're not loved.
One of my parents loves me, but I found that the other doesn't. Hurts.

Anonymous 126621

>>126620
Real.
I've been loved by complete strangers, little acts of kindness and gentle compassion none of my family has ever given me. Love is gentle, it is soft but it is disciplined, and I think the worst part about love aside for not being loved is when you have to purposely part ways with something you love for both your sake and theirs, knowing they will never understand why you did so until they get better, something that may never happen.


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