/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I can’t believe that sex and relationships are a normal part of peoples lives. The older I get the more foreign and farther away those things seem to me. It doesn’t even seem real. For normal people, it seems to just happens to them without resistance. Love, marriage, kissing, fucking, starting a family. It’s so common that they would have a hard time going a few months without it, let alone their whole lives. I wonder what it would feel like to be loved and accepted just for existing. And having things just come naturally for you because of that.
I wonder what being held by a man that’s safe and in love with you feels like. I can’t stop thinking about it

It's broken in a weird way. One day, out of the blue while I was typing code in Visual Studio, the monitor turned to grey static all of a sudden and the computer wouldn't respond to any inputs. Then, next time I tried to turn it on, it made a weird buzzing sound and wouldn't show anything on the screen. I have worked with lots of computers but never seen anything like this before.

Technical specifications:
- HP Desktop Slim 2021 Model
- 16 Gigabytes of RAM
- 1000 GB m.2 drive with Windows 10
- 500 gb m.2 drive inside a PCIE16 adaptor with Linux Mint Cinnamon
- I was on Linux when it crashed

Please let me know if you have further questions or solutions. I use this computer for professional purposes and need it for a programming project.

Are toxic female friendships common? What are they really like?

As a 25F with literally no friends, I always wondered how bad other women can be.

I'm jobless,and uneducated.I'm held back.

I lack in-person adult school. My attempts at net school and mail courses failed due to them emulating the lack of support,and proper education I recieved. Brick and mortar adult school is necessary because it provides community. Not to mention, I'm exhausted from self-teaching without guidance or feedback. Relocation to attend an adult-school is necessary.

I live online. I lack solo-hobbies, such as reading physical books, or embroidery,as doing anything my family does not approve of feels risky.There is lots of activites I want to participant in, but my family holds me back.When I go outside, I am accused of doing something weird. Hence, to avoid conflict, I stay in my room. Given they do not participate in casual sports,or volunteering,doing so would make me ostracized.

I'm unemployed.I'm a caregiver. My sibling has an illness, and my parent is scared for them to be alone. Hence, I cannot work. I am also in the process of geting my ID. My parent lacks consistent hours, so working around their schedule would be challenging.

I love my family. But this is unfair. I'm unable to pursue a social life, and work towards my career goals. I feel an obligation them. I do not have in me to go out and do the activities I want to anyway, ignoring them. I do not want to come home to accusations,and be yelled at for defying them. I expressed my concerns to them, and they claimed I have everything I want. That is false:I want a job, and an offline life. I want independance. I'm ashamed of being a NEET.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a about 3 months but we've only seen each other 2 times within 2 months.
I want to meet every weekend but my boyfriend says he can't meet as much because he needs to study and he says he wants to reward us both with meeting when we've done a good job studying.
The problem is that I work really hard studying but it seems like he doesn't even try and then he tells me that we'll meet when he's catched up on everything.
I haven't told him it hurts my feelings but it really does because I feel like he doesn't want to see me at all when he doesn't even do his school work.
It feels like he's trying to avoid seeing me and it really hurts.
How do I stop feeling hurt by this? Or do I just tell him I am and that I'd rather meet even if he hasn't done anything?

i'm in constant need of something that would make me feel like anything at all. Drinking, smoking, binge eating/consuming media/gooning/having sex/finding more bitches/playing video games.. just binge anything
Luv attention and validation, I wanna feeling like I'm wanted, I can't survive without human contact although i hate being around people but I just love being seen in a way i think.
I can't focus on multiple things simultaneously and it's exhausting as fuck. Like if i'm trying to focus on improving my career i feel the need to start cutting people off, and if i'm trying to focus on the gym i'll completely abandon everything academic
I can't find balance in anything. And I also can't feel anything. Honestly the only things i feel are anger and shame, and they keep me in line.
I don't hurt people because I want to be seen as a kind and decent human, I would be ashamed if people saw me in a negative way, but i also have so much rage inside me and little empathy. i tried to feel love towards people who actually cared about me and wanted to be with me but it didn't work.
Can't love anyone and can't feel sad or upset either, even about things that used to really hurt me at one point.
Just existing, trying to make the most of it, having fun and doing whatever, and i feel very disconnected from reality.
no regrets, just feeling off sumtimes

My boyfriend's sense of style is so ugly. He can do whatever he wants, but dear God the outfits he comes up with in her head sound like some shit my yeemo friends in middle school would wear. On one hand I don't care. Some of it is acceptable. A T-shirt with some skulls on it or merch with jeans is bearable. Hoodies and sketchers all the time is fine too. He's a man. What do I care? But he's trying to explore his taste in fashion more which is fine but he's coming up with outfits that make me pity him. I will love him regardless but my god he can't dress to save his life.

I am actually embarrassed with myself and if I could, I would have went back into the past and stopepd myself. But admittedly, I found myself crushing on some moid. He liked metal and I liked metal music; I won't even lie about that. I don't know many people with the same interests as me, and if anything, I just wanted to talk about things I liked for once in my life and honestly, for the two days we were speaking, I truly thought our discussion was pretty decent, we spoke back and forth. Although, I already knew that he rarely asked me any questions about myself in return, a habit it see amongst many moids. Women will ask you questions and go back and forth on interests, but moids only like to talk about themselves or explain shit to you. Anyway, he got onto the part where he wanted to show off his shitty anime art, whatever, I like art and so I asked to see it. He had no issue sending me picture on picture of his supposed talent, and I complimented him like a decent fucking person. Of course, none of my interests ever mattered to be asked about, but sure…I moved on and continued to talk. Unsurprisingly, once his art came off of the discussion table so did our conversation. It went back to the same old shit, until finally he completely stopped messaging me and my final message which was literally a question was only blessed with a fucking heart emoji and after a while of pondering the whole situation, I realized that my role was to fangirl over the freak, I wasn't even seen as a friend, but some novel thing for him to stroke his ego by. I am done. Completely done. If it weren't for women have of these dweebs wouldn't have shit to stand on. Maybe it's just me, but the whole situation was fucking disrespectful and rude, but I don't know why I expected better decorum than a fucking mutt.

Everything about me is wrong and it's making me seriously consider suicide. For context, I was born disabled, mentally and physically. And it shows on my face especially, I look 40 years old at only 19, my back is crooked, my teeth are disgusting and I have deep eye bags to the point where people think I am on meth. I am a 6th grade drop out due to my intellectual disability and I might be homeless soon. I might be kicked out since I am unable to work and I have piles of trash in my room that I am too tired to clean and I piss myself since my bladder is fucked up. I really want to fix my life but I am ashamed to even leave the house because of my condition and I am scared of how people might react to me. I am confused on where to even start.

This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.