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Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Ive resent my bf for years Anonymous 126195[Reply]

I resent my bf.

I met him back when we were both 16, when we started to date each other, he seemed like a unique and honest guy, who i was truly falling in love with, we even got to know pretty early on that this was gonna be both our first serious relationship.

During one of our late night calls, he was at this birthday party with some friends of his, so our call ended sooner than usual. Couple of days later, we started dating for reals as a couple, and just a few weeks later I learned that on "that night" he kinda screwed with one of his closest friends. This led to a whole heated up argument that day, which eventually ending up in me still wanting to be with him.

Years later, I still havent forgotten about any of it. Ive become the most insecure version of myself ive ever known, whenever hes out i cant control my anxiety panics, i havent tell him anything, but i cant do anything but remember how i felt that day. I know this is all stupid, that i shouldnt make a big deal out of it, i know but i cant not think about it. and iknow that i cant really blame him for anything, since we werent a couple that day (we began the day after), he even apologized and cut friendships with that girl, but how could someone be telling me such delicate and romantic things on that call during that day, while at the same time thinking about getting intimate with someone else than me? How are men such incapable of perceiving love as us? Why arent they capable of not behaving like animals? I dont get it. I thought i wouldve forget it by now, i thought time healed everything, but every passing day i feel worse, i do still love him, but i also resent him SO much for it

Anonymous 126205

>>126195
It's possible to be in love with one person and also have some sexual attraction to someone else, especially in the early stages of a relationship when you're just starting out. One of my friends felt this way about a guy she met even though she was already dating someone else, but she decided to let go of those feelings because she loves her boyfriend and wouldn't want to hurt him like that. It was a fleeting sort of attraction and she never intended to do anything with it. Some people never feel this way about others while in a relationship, but if someone does, it doesn't mean they'll just cheat on their partner. It'd be a cruel and frankly stupid thing to do. Even if things are not going well in a relationship, normal people will break up (if they can/aren't in an abusive relationship) instead of cheating. For one, because most people wouldn't want to hurt their partner and also because being a known cheater has the potential to endanger future relationships.
>screwed with one of his closest friends
Sounds like he'd wanted to have sex with her for a while and wanted to do it before he couldn't anymore, presumably because he doesn't want to cheat. You can have sex with someone without it being that romantic, although a friendship can feel similar I suppose. I'd imagine that this step messed with their friendship anyway though. Probably also made it easy to cut ties with her.
>I resent him SO much for it
>I haven't told him anything
He did apologise and cut ties with that girl, but imagine if you confronted him now. Is there anything he could say to ease your worries? Anything he could do? Or just listen and be empathetic?
>I've become the most insecure
Can that one instance really do that? Did he ever flirt with anyone else in front of you or said things about being able to get with other women easily? Bragging about anything even close to that he could be a player if he wanted to? If yes, that's a definite red flag, but if not, he's probably fine, right? Maybe you should tell him about your insecurities regardless. In fact, why haven't you talked to him about it? Do you think he'll blame you for feeling that way, for not being able to let go, are you worried about him being angry about it? If you convey that Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 126382

Both men and women will get in entire separate relationships and carry out a weird not even necessarily platonic friendship relationship at the same time. Some even a third work husband/wife. Most people now are so hyper focused on themselves that they don’t even see this as cheating. They don’t think about anyone else who isn’t in the room ever. They can be seated next to their gf ignoring them for the female friend they really want. They can be innocent and have the male or female friend desperate for them. These things can stop and start again with no conversation. People and relationships are complicated.

Anonymous 126383

>>126382
My best friends current situation has no idea about me and neither does my own partner. The relationship he and I have is actually the most important to him. I even saved his sisters wedding. No one besides his family my second family really has any idea. We will be together when the coast is clear but right now he and I both agree it’s best these last few years to keep it private between us. His gf has no idea they aren’t getting married and I’m going to go from his best friend to his partner. I pretend we are friends.



__link_and_princes…

Anonymous 126292[Reply]

What does it feel like to be in a happy fulfilling relationship with someone you’re attracted both physically and emotionally?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126323

>>126322
Fulfilled by and attracted to food, how magical

Anonymous 126324

It's pretty nice I enjoy it

Anonymous 126349

reading this post just made me want to smash my head against a wall. it's so bad that even the slightest mention of a "happy couple" sends me into a downwards spiral. i hate being lonely.

Anonymous 126350

>>126349
Don't chase the bonding chemical highs lol

Anonymous 126377

>>126350
people really get drunk on brain chemicals and then think when they’re depleted or you’ve developed a tolerance it means the spark faded. there was never a spark. he was just love bombing.



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Bf paying findoms Anonymous 126337[Reply]

Just found out about my bf of almost two years findom habits. I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t know I know yet. I am absolutely devastated and way too humiliated to tell anyone I know. I really need a hug. I feel so betrayed and heartbroken.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126351

Paying income tax is too much findom for me already, don't know how people could stand even more findom

Anonymous 126352

>>126346
i agree. you dodged a bullet nona

Anonymous 126363

i hope you left him. he should’ve been giving that to you. not marriage material at all. hope he goes bankrupt.

Anonymous 126364

don’t say anything to him. collect all evidence of it you can before you do anything. maybe also reach out to her - she likely has no idea. she likely has access to things you didn’t see. she would be able to tell you things if she’s willing you won’t be able to find out. do all of this before speaking to him. if it goes sour you will regret not having proof of this to show people. you could also probably post him as a personal cow so other girls in the future can google his name and it’ll show up. just format it when you post about it as if he’s a stranger you have tea on and post anything else embarrassing on his socials. it likely won’t get deleted like other websites would and will show up when anyone investigates him.

Anonymous 126367

>>126364
tbh findomesses are probably well aware some of their clients are like this
it's like with prostitution



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how do i lock in?? Anonymous 126299[Reply]

hey everyone:)
i'm 19 and just finished my first year of uni, in flames. badly.
i genuinely don't know what to do with my life. i work at a fast food chain, and i'm struck with this debilitating fear that this is all I'll ever amount to because I simply cannot deal with myself enough to do uni.
I don't go to classes, lectures, I submit assignments late and I just lay in bed and hours pass and before I know it, it's been months of this insane cycle.
For context, I do have diagnosed cptsd, ocd, and all that bs. But it's so isolating being mentally unwell.
I genuinely don't know how to get my shit together and do well in uni, because there's no one breathing down my back and forcing me to do stuff. I'm genuinely useless when left to my own devices.
I know i'm still young and I have time, but comparing myself to my friends and the combination of that + cptsd especially growing up in an asian household has just driven me deeper in this hole of self hatred that I just can't seem to pull myself out of.
I have an exam tomorrow morning that I didn't study for, and I probably won't study for the next one, either.
I don't know what the fuck to do.
Sorry if this is rambly or if this isn't the right place to put this.
Any advice would be appreciated<333 thank you
4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126307

>>126305
hiii :)
thank you so much for the advice!
it's hard coming to terms with doing so badly considering i've been a straight A student my whole life, but i guess my issues had to catch up with me at some point. better sooner than later i guess.
thank you for the kind words and advice :) much love<33

Anonymous 126309

>>126299
>i'm struck with this debilitating fear that this is all I'll ever amount to
Sounds like catastrophising. Maybe check out this: https://www.healthline.com/health/cognitive-distortions#catastrophizing
My cptsd and personality disorder really led to some distorted thinking and I had to get used to just challenge my own thoughts when that happens because sometimes, you're just stuck in that way of thinking where you think that pessimism is realism because your life just sucked and the worst outcome feels emotionally true and inevitable because your nervous system is just wrecked that way… But it definitely won't stay that way noona, I promise! Intellectually knowing that some of your thinking is a bit distorted by bad experiences and low self-esteem helps a little, but emotions just need more time to catch up with the intellectual stuff. Be patient with yourself, it's okay, you'll get better for sure, it just takes a bit of time.
>because I simply cannot deal with myself enough to do uni.
Depression will do that to you, I couldn't get out of bed for the most simple things for a while, it was so damn hard to just get up, I tried to just roll out of bed to hit the floor and damn, it didn't help either. Sometimes you're just so done… there are good and bad days ofc, days where things are just easier but really, motivating yourself to get up will also be easier over time as you heal.
I sometimes still feel a bit like I just wanna stay glued to my bed, but… I can actually just get up quickly these days if it's necessary. It's not like it used to be, now I can just get up when I want to and the want is enough to make me move. But I do remember times when it wasn't that way and damn, I really feel for you noona…
What I can say in retrospect to all that is that I beat myself up too much and I really didn't have to and you don't have to do that either, please please noona be kind to yourself, you deserve so much kindness after everything and you really deserve it from yourself. It may sound appealing to just beat yourself into shape so you can get up and do what needs to be done, but that maybe works one time and what ends up happening is thatPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 126312

I was in your position my first year. To the point I had to write a letter about all my issues to get my financial support back. You need to access your university resources, such as Counseling and Psychological services. It should be either free or really cheap (under 60 bucks), you can get to be medicated (which sounds scary but is better than ending up an alcoholic/another addict later on in life or just becoming a burn out).

Focus on that. Really, don't jump into a relationship because it makes you feel good unless analyzing it as well as a 19 year old can. I did that mistake and now I'm at square 1 in my senior year of uni. Make friends though and get to feel comfortable with your professors and environment, even if you feel like a fuck up. You are 19, many people do.

If you have the counseling services and a person who is treating you medically you can ask for accessibility in your university. You can also access this service if your meeting an outside doctor as well. This could give you more leeway, deadline extensions, and just a general understanding given to your professors about a very face value of your health. Also if things slip too far out of hand and you depends on grants/scholarships/pell grant/etc. they can write to financial services that you are a student that needs extra help and your circumstance and diagnoses, and to get you out of the bureaucratic issues of failing classes.

This is all from an American perspective so I don't know your situation. These are general steps you can take at an American University/college if you want to stay in Uni and to get help.

I've heard Asian households can make getting mental health care difficult, like it's shameful. Your parents won't be notified that your using Counseling resources. They only could maybe be notified about anything if you take the route of medication (as an intake assessment might be routed to your insurance company and also prescriptions, but they would be general labels). You could choose to use insurance or not, depends on how fearful you are. You can always ask these people about costs, and they should get a billing person to speak to you. If you're going no insurance route you can use GoodRX coupons on medications.

These are some of the steps I had to take at your age. Please do them sooner than later. There's probably other things to do like study groups, etc. that could combat the inability to work if no one is watching you as Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 126313

>>126312
hi nona! this is op!
1. thank you so much for taking time to respond to my post, i really appreciate it.
2. I've been to counselling services and been set up with an academic adjustment plan, but they really didn't do much else besides that. I've also sent emails to professors due to missed assignments or tutorials, but I just feel kinda greedy getting too many special considerations or grants. So i've been really conservative with those, because there's only so much extensions can do when the real problem is just me.
3. I was medicated on lexapro, and then setraline, but I was forcefully taken off it because my parents 'don't like me taking meds,' and refuse to help me find other GPs or Psychologists to get me back on, since I'm out of sessions with my past psychs and my main GP is on leave for a long time. I'm aware that I can do it myself since I'm an adult, but it's just hard and I don't know where to look and stressful accounting for everything else in my life. They also don't really believe in mental health either, and I can't talk to them about my mental health since they are the causes of it and since they think that I'm like this simply because I'm lazy and don't want to get better. I tried to talk to my mom about my OCD and she just told me to hit the gym and sleep better lol.
4. i'm currently working so my main goal is to just save up and get at least uni accoms, maybe getting out of this environment will help greatly with my mental health, who knows.
Thank you again for the response<3 big love

Anonymous 126319

Maybe consider going to uni part time instead of full time? It might make the work load easier despite going to college for a longer time. Heck, it'll cut down the costs for sure though



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Anonymous 125983[Reply]

>be me
>be 21
>former drug addict
>get healthy
>become giga-stacy
>finally go to uni
>tfw socially awkward
>tfw people interpret my inability to talk as standoffishness
>mfw i have close to zero friends and im halfway through my major


i go to a very small private uni as well - everyone knows and talks to each other. its a very isolating experience.

i was gonna talk to some people about my new rice cooker today but i got so scared to do it in front of everyone else in class i just didnt.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126040

>>125983
update: ive made a pact with a fren to not overthink for all of october and just do things.

i call it "omit overthinking october"

so far i have talked to at least 5 people i have barely spoken to in the past year and it turns out they do not in fact bite

will see how the rest of the month goes

i recommend everyone tries this challenge

Anonymous 126047

>>125984
Share pls

Anonymous 126266

ok

Anonymous 126267

>>125984
youre beyond youre prime anyways stop trying

Anonymous 126268

giga esl.webp

>>126267
>youre



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Anonymous 126152[Reply]

Have known a guy for a year or two, but never pursued anything because distance. i originally met him in a group chat, then eventually told him how i felt. not soon after i ended up moving to the same state for personal reasons, not knowing he lived there.


i feel very strongly for him. he feels similarly. ive never felt this way before, but i don't have much romantic experience. dated two people in the past, had a situationship (?) that ended poorly i guess. he is everything i like in a guy. emotionally intelligent, kindhearted, giving (but not a pushover), patient, and kind.

he thinks its 'fate' because we fit so well. i am religious, so I guess it could be. but im a little nervous. im not concerned for myself but for him. if things go left i will be fine. sad, naturally, but okay. but hes put a lot of faith in us. he thinks im in his life for a reason.

ive decided that no matter what, ill do the best i can for him. i really do care for him despite my fear. im mostly afraid of hurting him, the last guy i trusted took advantage of me and i let him, until i couldn't take it anymore and decided to be worse. i don't want to do that to this one, because i can tell his heart is good.

i made him cry, by mistake, already. i realized then that i needed to do better. i told myself that so long as i live i would never hurt him again. it hurt so much hearing him cry, so I only want to make him happy from now on. im a little scared ill hurt him, but ill figure it out somehow.

Anonymous 126153

Gh-0wYwb0AAFiJ3.pn…

Okay..

Anonymous 126159

>>126152
So have you ever met in person?

Anonymous 126160

>>126159
yes, frequently



lee-nagyung-fromis…

Anonymous 122462[Reply]

I'm arguing with a moid online and I'm winning but it's so annoying that they point out how long I've spent arguing with them aghhhh. I feel recharged after coming back to cc. thank you nonas for your epic presence
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122465

Who is the girl in the pic? I feel like I recognise her but I also don’t

Anonymous 122467

Just don’t do it, duh.

Anonymous 122472

>>122465
it's nagyung from fromis_9!
>>122467
yeah you're right, I just get this desire to correct moids and teach them a lesson but my free time is too precious tbh

Anonymous 122488

>>122472
Aw I should’ve known that, I used to listen to fun! religiously

Anonymous 126241

>>122472
"You're right Nona. I'm sorry. I apologize for wasting your time."
What if he said this?



animesher.com_haru…

pros/cons of your bf Anonymous 105405[Reply]

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!
327 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126123

Pro's
>His physical appearance over all makes him look like a fairytale prince he's got neck length shaggy/slightly wavy dirty blonde hair he's got pale porcelain looking skin pink lips and grey eyes and he's tall (6'4)
>when he started dating he told me something that brought me back to earth it was "if you have a preconceived version of me in my head just throw it away"
>He has really good taste in fashion and decorating that baffles me because it's like a sixth sense to him
>He's always open to try kinks I want to do but he sets boundaries for things that make him uncomfortable aka getting physical and vocally rough and pegging
>He's always so prepared for example he has a plan to get the job he wanted set out while he was in middle school
>He has the nicest dad ever probably one of the best role models oat
>He has a knack for photography
>He is very kind and calm and has what his dad calls a "so it goes mentality"
>He can cook decently well for everything except steak which I swear he has some supernatural ability to make the most mouth watering steaks every time without fail
>He has angry bull levels of strength
>He uses a cologne that smells like oranges and honestly it fits him perfectly it matches his physical appearance and personality
>He's social but not overly social and has a good conscious on how to people please
>He is the sweetest with children he has younger cousins that are elementary school to toddler age and he's like a professional babysitter that gets zero pay
>He has a very broad music taste and put me onto duster
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 126126

>>117617
This is true. Women don't care about a man's height. It'd be crazy that even women here mostly would date a guy if he was only >6'

Anonymous 126132

pros
>tall
>spoils me w money
>total virgin
>listens to me going insane

cons
>ldr
>9 years older (we met when i was 19)
>just graduated
>works minimum wage
>porn addict
>not emotional

Anonymous 126217

>>105405
pros
>tall
>handsome,simmetrical face with masculine chin
>blonde hair and blue eyes but in not in a femboy way
>smart
>has a job
>metalhead

cons
>porn addict
>not really empathetic but still cares
>dont spend money on gifts

Anonymous 126235

Pros
> has job that would survive AI job takeover apocalypse
> right amount of chubby
> tries his best to do things right by everyone
> decent morals
> is funny
> has interesting things to say

Cons
> does not practice what he preaches
> lies by omission unless you figure out the precise question to get the truth out of him
> completely impotent due to former(?) porn addiction
> brown



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Anonymous 126216[Reply]

I Made A List Of Everything Your Doing Wrong and This Argument Seems Like A Great Time To Bring It Up

Anonymous 126219

IMG-20251026-WA001…

>>126216
I'm the first person that would know, you don't need to tell me again

Anonymous 126221

>>126219
No I Think You Need To Be Reminded

Anonymous 126230

>>126216
Literally whataboutism…
If it's unrelated, it's unrelated.
Unless whatever happened in the current situation is somehow caused by whatever went wrong in the past. But usually, it's something that's caused by not having fixed something that had already been wrong in the past. But even then, you could focus on solutions instead of just faulting someone to put them down. Some list shouldn't be the end of a discussion, even if the argument likely requires some pauses because people need time to process emotions and if they don't take the time, they might opt for whatever solution is the fastest rather than most effective.

Anonymous 126234

tumblr_lxrbghZhlU1…

Ok Kanaya Maryam



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Anonymous 126164[Reply]

How would you react if a tranny who was more attractive than you stole your bf?
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126203

>>126193
None. I just wanted to know how others would react. Because I wouldn't know what to do. The situation would just be too surreal.

>>126199
Lol. No.

Anonymous 126204

>>126193
Soy retard, or worse, soy pickme

Anonymous 126218

>>126164
Trannies will never be prettier than real women. Only trannies and tranny chasers with porn addictions think otherwise. And that itself is extremely unattractive so I wouldn’t care. If I found out a man I was into wanted to get with a troon I would be repulsed by him. Also it’s kinda sad how ppl will callTIMs who have gotten so many surgeries and fillers attractive but will always be quick to tell actual women like let’s say kylie jenner they aren’t naturally beautiful and ugly because they looked different before surgery as well. Anyway troons are nothing but your average hideous moid with plastic surgery.

Anonymous 126223

I don’t get jealous of men so I’d be ambivalent to it
Anyway shouldn’t futa enjoyers like transwomen? I don’t get why they’re not more in demand considering the type of porn is popular.

Anonymous 126232

doesn’t even happen and is a jealous troid fantasy



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