/feels/ - Advice & Venting

i hate being short no one takes you seriously and peopl talk about how "cute" you are as if thats somethinf good and not extremely infantilizing. my self confidemce would be significantly improved if i was at least 5`6. short bodies look like shit in general, if youre skinny you just end up making yourself look even smaller and more fragile if youre fat your body starts to look all lumpy and your proportions seem off, if youre muscular you just look retarded any type of volume on short bodies ends up looking retarded. you cant win

A few years ago I fell out with my then best friend. We hadn't known each other for super long but we had got on well from the first time we met and we had a great friendship. The reason it fell through was almost entirely my own fault, I was super insecure and anxious back then, I kept criticizing her over stupid stuff, kept telling her to break up with her bf (so she could be with me more) and etc.
It really hurt when she cut contact with me, but ultimately I understand why it happened and I have worked hard on trying to fix those issues. I am still a little insecure/anxious, but it is much much better than back then. In the end I guess I kind of needed it.

More recently, I made another friend, same story as with her, we got on very well from basically the beginning, but now the complete opposite is happening. She wants my attention and wants to talk to me but is not interested in what I am doing or how I am feeling. I go out of my way to be help her and she never ever returns the favor. I do not even enjoy talking with her anymore and am basically soft ghosting her now, which she does not even realise because she is so self-absorbed. She feels lonely and wants attention and is doing almost exactly what I used to do back then, but I am not sure I can help her at this point. So what should I do? I feel so hopelessly powerless, I am going to lose another wonderful friend over the same issue and I feel like there is nothing to do about it.

My boyfriend who I'll be moving to soon and I had a conversation. I asked if the money he is going to make is going to be enough, and he said yes. I said it would be better if I work too, and not be a leech plus the money I'd bring in would be nice and he passionately refused insisting I wouldn't need to work.
I'll say that I like the idea of being a stay at home mom and stuff, but being completely financially reliant on him is… restricting?
Is this what people call a red flag?
I have to say that he is a wonderful person whom I woud do anything for and I love him very much but every once in a while I think about this conversation.

I'm dating in the city, and I've noticed that poly people will just not leave me the fuck alone. It doesn't really matter how clear and polite I make it that I'm not interested in being with multiple people, these people will continue to push you, prod you, try to get you drunk to sleep with you or worse fucking lie to you about it for a long time. It's not even just men, a lot of the times its women, especially bi women pimping themselves out for their boyfriends, even lesbians. These people will make a big stink about how what they're doing is the most humane, down to earth, ethical way to fuck someone even while actively pushing your boundaries, even after straight up hiding this from you to take advantage of you. At this point I'm pretty sure some of them just have a fetish for coercing people into this shit.

I had someone reveal this while fucking me after talking to me for weeks, and I've reached a total breaking point.

This might be too much of a Brooklyn problem, but if you're in any major liberal city I'm sure you could throw a stone and hit any of these creeps. Anyone have any idea wtf is wrong with these people? How do I get them to leave me the fuck alone and go fuck each other instead?

I'm not sure if my boyfriend cheated on me or not. He tried to meet up with his ex but he hasn't. Didn't? I'm not sure. Everytime I try to talk about it he seems to sigh a little, maybe it's out of shame. I love him so much. He told me he wanted to stay. I'm letting us stay together, but I'm so nervous. I want to trust him again. I'm tired of being a paranoid schizophrenic about this. I love him so much. I don't wanna get hurt again. This is a horrible, no good, bad thing, isn't it? He held me and panicked a whole night with me about it. Oh, geez. Geez, geez, geez.

felt like this should be a thread tbh
what's everyone up to? i'm thinking of downloading tinder again

my groomer is a popular artist in a fandom space i'm in. i've tried to escape him so many times but he keeps somehow being interested in the same shit as me, posting his art, and then getting popular. it drives me insane and the one time i tried to tell people who he was (because i noticed he was following a lot of teenagers ) it did practically nothing. in fact, many people were defending him: "i don't understand people who now are all up in arms that ____ is a groomer…" and trying to get into contact with him. this specific person ended up seeing a repost about what he did with all the proof and made fanart for him, also found his contact information to message him. someone in the comments tried to tell her that he was a terrible person but she knew and didn't care, i wish i didn't feel so sensitive about this but i get SO upset seeing this happen.

i've seen at least three people find out what he did and then mention WANTING to contact him after finding out, or just being blasé about it. i've tried just blocking and leaving whatever fandom but i'm not going to let myself be pushed out of my own interests because of some asshole. i just figured nowadays people would have more empathy, but i don't have many friends besides from two who believed me about it, all the rest of my friends were also my groomers friends who chose him over me. at some point his ex girlfriend contacted me and told me she tried to report him to the police so they could get a warrant to search his device or whatever, but i never ended up hearing from her again about that.

i'm not sure what to do, ppl aren't listening to what happened anyways. i just wish i could live my life and ignore him but he's everywhere. i rlly needed to vent about this but advice would be nice too, i thought i had moved on completely from him but seeing this stuff still bothers me.

Do you guys think it's weird and gross that for a woman, sex is about the guy dumping a load into your body?
I don't understand why more women don't think it's weird and gross. Like it's fully accepted that it's normal. Imagine spitting in somebody's mouth or peeing into their mouth. GROSS!!

>They like it when you're available for them or talk about things that personally interest them
>They like it when you make an effort
>They like it when you try to make it special for them
>They like it when you bring energy, passion, enthusiasm, effort, etc

But…

>They aren't interested in you
>They don't even like being with you
>They get bored and find other people who they like more than you
> They don't bring any energy, passion, enthusiasm, effort, they just don't care unless it's about them

Why does dating often feel like being an entertainer for other people?

Kind of a vent, but I need help.

My mother is a tyrant who exists to make other people’s lives miserable because of internalized hatred and many regrets in her life. Regret of getting married to the wrong man and having children and not pursuing a career. Which I fail to see as mine or my siblings’s fault at all. She’s just an overly narcissistic bipolar person blablabla many unsolved problems because of culture stigma and older generation anti mental health bullshit.

Now I need some advice here. We are three sisters with me being the eldest, middle sister is a teenager and the youngest is about a year old. There have been so many instances of neglect on her part. It’s not the typical severe parental abuse that I could go to the authorities with outwards like not changing diapers or not feeding her. It’s more so frequent outbursts of rage through vocal violence and not physical as well as emotional neglect that I know will have a profound impact on her later in life. I can see her getting startled and crying even louder from the sudden noise and anger. My mother is irritated by almost every sound my baby sister makes and has no self control as an above 50 year old woman to just keep her mouth shut and attend to her child. I’m always the one who has to pick her up and take her away from dangerous, loud and overwhelming situation and sit and play quietly until she calms down. My parents have no understanding of the words “mentally damaging” or “overstimulation” and whenever I bring these things up they brush it off with “It’s fine” or “If you care so much, you do something about it”. Which is completely and utterly retarded because that is YOUR child and not mine. It’s your responsibility. She is so fucking retarded and braindead. I’m convinced her brain is rotten from staring at her phone all day and scrolling on reels while my baby sister is crying because simple things aren’t being done like passing an apple or giving her a toy.

She also said some typical stupid-old-woman-who-regrets-her-life-bullshit like “I gave birth to you so I have the automatic right to sit on my phone all day while you take care of her” etc.

What can I do in this situation? I have exams to take soon and it’s stressing me the fuck out trying to balance taking care of a human life and my own studying struggles. My plan initially was to collect recordings of my mom being an asshat and then either take it to child protective services or tell her famiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.