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Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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men and their first love?? Anonymous 115180[Reply]

i’m deathly afraid of getting into a relationship with another man. ever since i’ve heard about the “men’s first love theory”, whenever i’m talking to a man, i wonder if he has experienced his first love and if he’s over her or not. i’m scared of being with a man who’s not over his ex. i’m scared of being with a man who will reminisce about his ex. multiple times i have heard these stories where a girl’s boyfriend wasn’t over his ex or he goes back to his ex. i read about one girl who caught her boyfriend stalking his ex on social media. another girl posted and stated that her ex said even if he was married and she walked back into his life, he would drop everything for her. honestly, i’m afraid of their first loves too. i see so many women posting online and talking shit about their ex’s new girlfriend. i do not want to see my boyfriend’s ex posting “HIS NEW GIRL AINT SHIT!!!” or bragging about how they were each other’s first for everything. like please let me be a lover girl in PEACE and MOVE ON?! overall, i’m just scared of dating another man. i don’t think i have ever had a man love me like that. let alone i don’t think i have ever been a man’s first love either. the man i believed to be my “first love” doesn’t even want me at all. he literally cheated on me multiple times. i don’t know if i could ever trust another man again. i don’t want to have to feel like i’m competing with my future partner’s first love just for him to still love her more than he loves me. i thought about searching for a man who has never had a girlfriend or at least have a serious relationship before, but i feel like since i’m older now (im 18), it’s so much harder to find a man who’s not already experienced.
20 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 115213

>>115210
I'm religious so I don't find that unfortunate.

Anonymous 115214

>>115182
idk i'm not your boss

Anonymous 115215

>>115213
Plot twist: he's muslim

Anonymous 115216

>>115182
idk i'm not your boss

Anonymous 115239

>>115205
Brutal pinkpill. Imagine devoting your life, bearing the kids, giving away your best years to a moid who just seetles with you and compares you with the perpetually young memories of women he had been with.



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Want to die young Anonymous 114963[Reply]

I want to die young but I can't commit suicide because of religious reasons and because I'm a coward, did attempt when I was less religious and I was never strong enough to do it. Ever since I found out people in heaven are roughly middle aged versions of themselves I've been more in a rush to do it soon. I'll be 22 in a few weeks, and I can't imagine being any older than this. I've had this mindset since I was 14. Every year I'd tell myself if I die at 14 I'll forever be 14, at 15, I'll forever be 15, at 16, I'll forever be 16, etc… dead people don't age in the memory of others, I hate the idea of growing up, growing out of my body, when I hit puberty and got my first period I wouldn't stop crying about it for weeks, same for when I wore my first bra, when I first noticed hair on my body, all the things changing, everything felt like a change my soul vehemently opposed and despised but that was infuriatingly out of my control. I fundamentally hate my body and hate it more each day. I envy every person I hear died, whether it be relatives or neighbors and even friends, in highschool two girls I distantly knew passed away, and I couldn't stop obsessing about their deaths, even after attending their funerals and seeing the grief that struck their parents, one died of anorexia and the other of cancer, it was sort of a humbling grounding experience to see how death affects others around us, I'm closely acquainted with death, my father has had near life ending experiences twice, and each time I felt horribly guilty about the sense of calm and envy that gripped me in the midst of it. I wished it was me, I wish I was terminally ill to die, I lost an online friend to brain cancer months ago and I still go back and read our messages and each time it doesn't make me feel guilty for “squandering” the gift of life, it makes me feel bad that she, someone who clearly wanted to live, got to die and I continue to live. We bonded over mental health problems, her parents were absent alcoholics and we repeatedly shared our wishes to commit suicide when we were younger, back before she was diagnosed, but as fast as the finality of death hit her, she changed and became more hopeful to live despite it all, almost spiteful. I wished it could have been me and not her, i don't want to live, I can't believe I have to wait 60, 70 more years before I'm finally free, I want it to be over already, there's nothing that could make me want to live or enjoy life, I would choose dyinPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 115009

>>114998
Can you do that if you're a woman? Is it still an option kek

Anonymous 115013

Get help. Unironically. You don't have to live this way.

Anonymous 115021

>>114963
I understand how you feel all too well. I used to be like that, envying those who died early.
The thing that helped me though is that I realized death is always an option. If things ever get way too difficult, there is an escape. As grim as that sounds, it helped me feel at peace. There's a lot of things I don't enjoy in my life, but I wouldn't say it's intolerable. I just take it day-by-day and enjoy what I can.

There's no need to rush into death. Focus on what you have here and now and don't even think about the end, I'm sure your life isn't as bad as you think.

Anonymous 115023

>>115021
It's really not that my life is bad, it's been and up and down for as long as I can remember, certainly more tragic than the average childhood but currently I'm in a stable barely afloat spot that wouldn't make anyone suicidal. And I can't really relate to the idea that "death will always be there" for me anymore, because suicide is totally ruled out of the equation. Back when it was an idea I often flirted with, I give you that, it was a comforting thought. Now, I know my death isn't in my own hand whatsoever and it's a total RNG when I'm going to do, I want it to be as soon as possible, as soon as tomorrow or the next hour.

Anonymous 115218




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losing my life to my phone Anonymous 114793[Reply]

I’ve lost a good 10 years of my life and my entire childhood to social media and screen time. I’m not sure how to beat this addiction. I have no friends. I’m even on my phone at work. I average 12 hours a day on my phone/computer.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 114875

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>>114793
>>11479
tikjtok SUCKS!!

Anonymous 114906

>>114793
That’s terrivle

Anonymous 114935

>>114805
my friend and i have been on a dumb phone kick. she actually bought one and loved it, until she tried to get a uhaul storage container. the company forces you to use the app. you had to have it to do anything bc there wasn’t a fucking person at the center! i’ve found you need a smartphone for almost everything these days, and it’s horrible. that being said i think you should go for it, just keep this in mind. be prepared to have to do a little extra leg work. but you will feel a lot better otherwise, i think.

Anonymous 115091

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I have a dumb phone and like it. I'd recommend a Sunbeam phone, since you can still group message and get in touch with people. But it restricts the internet. I have my computer for that, anyway.

Anonymous 115092

>>115091
thanks for the rec!



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Anonymous 114162[Reply]

What is your experience with making/finding female friends as an adult woman? I'm a girl myself but everytime I try to make friends with other girls they ignore me or downright treat me horribly

Anonymous 114822

>>114162
You´re deffo not the only one. During social gatherings i do my best and try to be as sociable as possible. There are exchanges of information, but never a follow up. Making friends as an adult woman is shit.

Anonymous 115157

Most women my age have kids, a career, etc and want nothing to do with an ex-junkie schizo who works wage slave retail gigs. I don't blame them. However, I have made the effort to be friendly with coworkers at the various places I've worked. Usually they're women like me, who've been homeless, drug addled, etc. However, we share no real common interests and mainly just talk about losing weight, or the "good ol days", sometimes crystals/astrology. I realize I'm scary to a lot of girls and women with my very visible scarring, both self inflicted and from fights/abuse. I don't have kids and pretty much all these women did, so hanging out outside of work was a no go. I'm still friends with my old hs bff, who is a TiF but a lady like me takes friendships were she can get them I guess.



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men ruining my life help Anonymous 115137[Reply]

men ruin everything for me. they steal all of my friendships, and generally compromise me in almost every way. I can’t remember the last time a man has showed interest in me, let alone had a nice conversation with me. I feel like I’m only used for them to get to my friends, just so they can take them right out from under my feet. I’m slowly beginning to grow disdain for all of them [mostly the scrawny normie entitled white dudes] any advice for my situation?? it’s getting really bad
Should I just give up???

Anonymous 115142

>>115137
Don't be naive but have some nuance. If you start thinking all men are evil, that's all you're gonna see in your environment. I firmly believe that by having that mindset you're gonna attract more evil men into your life.
But you also can't go around thinking all men are acting in your best interest. It's just not true but you already had to learn that the hard way.

>Should I just give up???

You should be fine with living on your own. Being alone is still 1000x better than being with some shitty scrote who doesn't treat you right, while you pour your everything into him.
But don't give up on men overall yet. Good men exist, men who will treat you with respect and show you love. Just make sure to not settle for anything less than that. Trust me, being alone is still better than being with a scrote who treats you badly.

Also I'm so sorry about your friends. Must be frustrating to have that happening to you.

Anonymous 115143

>>115142
>by having that mindset you’re gonna attract more evil men into your life
I haven’t ever thought about it that way, but it figures that if I’m only looking for the bad in them that’s what I’m gonna end up seeing more. Plenty of men are fine, I just get so caught up in the bad ones I let them ruin it all for me

>being alone is 1000x better than being with some shitty scrote who doesn’t treat you right

Yeah, I’ve found that I put too much value into having a relationship in general instead of maintaining a good one. It just gets kind of lonely sometimes but ur right all I can do atp is sit and wait for the right person.

thank you for replying, made me feel better



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NEETbux ran out again Anonymous 115135[Reply]

Have to be a wagie in my cagie for a year for them to refill again

Anonymous 115136




high-school-studen…

how the fuck do i control kids with a timid personality and a small frame being a teacher? Anonymous 110272[Reply]

having no experience in working as a teacher for now im just asked to do desk work and to observe other teachers to learn from them, but yesterday as someone was busy i was asked to cover for them and it was a really embarassing day for me.
some kids used their cell phones in class, and i grabbed one of their phones but just as i turned back to do something the phone was gone and someone swiped it back. maybe 20% of the class listened to what i was saying while the rest were just talking or sleeping. some of them didnt finish their homework and were copying them in class. some of them didnt care about me when i asked to submit their homework notes even if it was empty and only like 10% of them gave their notebooks. one kid didnt even notice that i was standing next to him and was using his phone and scrolling instagram. some kids started to ask me if i am in a relationship and my age and my personal details and being the oversharing idiot i am i was responding to them and saw them sisterly. theyre girls so its cool but later i realized its very unprofessional.
i felt disturbed by all this and went to another teacher and she told me that im supposed to control the class and that i dont have to be tyrannical but i have to explain what theyre doing is wrong and make them face the consequences for their rule breaks and i just dont know what to do. one thing she told me that affected me the most is that "you are not their friend" and "dont let them call you "sis".

there are some teachers who are scary and also tyrannical ways to control students like shaming them for being dumb but i feel that these things are so wrong. i dont want to make the kids feel bad and traumatize them but at the same time i wish i also knew how to control them and make them be decent so that i dont get fired for being a poor teacher. there are rules that i shouldnt abuse, even verbally, but other teachers dont seem to care and call them horrible names.
28 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 113884

>>110272
Get out of teaching it is a horrible career that will leave you jaded, take advantage of you and pay you nothing

Anonymous 114490

>>110272
>one thing she told me that affected me the most is that "you are not their friend" and "dont let them call you "sis".

it's scary that this had to be said to you. you have fundamentally the wrong attitude about how a teacher needs to act towards students. if you're accepting "timid" as part of your personality there's honestly no hope to ever command a room, even if that room was only filled with elementary school kids.
it's not because of your small frame though, it's only the personality. a bigger frame would help but it couldn't make up for your inappropriate behavior.

maybe you suffer from a warped perspective of what school really is for most kids. you sound like you're naturally agreeable / submissive so for you school would have been a pleasant experience. you know what's expected of you and you're happy to do it. you don't mind sitting still and listening to an authority figure talk for hours and hours. if I'm right, please realize that most kids are not naturally like that. for the majority of kids school is a glorified prison. a prison that pats itself on the back for "educating" its prisoners and uses guilt trips and scare tactics to keep them in line. a prison their own parents sent them to. most kids get out of bed every morning to continue serving their sentence, not to learn. they know this psychological torture is happening to them so their parents can forget about them to go make money for some company for all the best hours of the day. they know the primary purpose of school isn't education, it's restriction of movement. day care. and the older they get the more insulted they are by this fact. they resent all teachers like a prisoner resents all wardens. it's not personal but it sure feels personal considering, if these specific teachers disappeared the child would be free, just like that.
granted only a very lucid child would think or say any of this, but a large percentage at least feel it on some level. and then the timid new warden walks in hoping to be their "friend"? yeah, that's going to go over well.

Anonymous 114826

>>114490
I genuinely believe that if you were a kid who saw school as a prison and all that yapping you preach, you are just low iq.
>if you have enough self control to sit your ass on a chair and listen or at least don’t try to make everything about you, you’re a submissive slave to the system
I get it, kids and underages are self centered but have you seen high school fucks? are you gonna excuse their nasty ways just because muh prison school? they know exactly what they’re doing.

Anonymous 114895

>>114490
Lol. You're wrong, and not in the way you think I think you're wrong. School isn't about restricting movement, it's about controlling what you think. There are several ways school controls thought:

1. You're always being watched (even when you're not), so be good. Always.

This is drilled into primary school kids from a young age; they're constantly under surveillance and everything they do, think, or say can (and will) be used against them. This inhibits freedom of thought from a young age, because ultimately the message students learn is "if I do something different to what they want, I get in trouble." The has undesirable effects when trying to teach them 'critical thinking' (funnily enough most teachers cannot think critically about anything, my evidence is how they are completely played by the media).

2. Effort + Behaviour = Success

It's not necessarily wrong to say that working hard yields results, but it is wrong to expect students to care enough about each subject that they'll try hard in it. I cared about my GPA, so I did "well" in all subjects (the quotation marks are because I got straight A's, but A's are not indicative of actual understanding. Any trained monkey can get an A, but you'd be a fool not to play the system to your advantage).
If GPAs weren't a thing then I would've tanked English because I found the media analysis to be… basic (What I read elsewhere was much more insightful, but if you pull out McLuhan or Debord on your English teacher then they'll probably not know them [because most English teachers have, themselves, only followed the prescribed curriculum], and thus the argument will be lost on them. Many such cases!).

3. The curriculum

The curriculum is the most powerful way school influences thought. All talkers are propagandists, and all teachers propagandise in their own way.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 115128

>>114490
All correct. OP, unfortunatly being a people pleaser works against you when put in a leadership position. Kindness is an important trait to have, but it can turn into naivety if you fail to understand why brutality exists (and works).

>>114826
You realize having a high iq makes you a statistical minority right? By your logic, all average and under students would feel just like >>114490 said.
That aside, being a "high iq" student would probably be even worse in terms of feeling imprisoned, since you can mentally function far above your age but still have the severely limited rights that children do. How many smartypants entrepreneurs and geniuses have you heard talk about how much they miss being in k-12? None, they always bitch about how limiting and mind-numbing basic schooling was.



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Qt Partner Thread Anonymous 37674[Reply]

Greentext traits and how lovely your partner is
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Anonymous 115054

>>115050
>technically
I hope you are not just pretending to be retarded

Anonymous 115056


Anonymous 115060

>>115053
That was nice, thanks nona.

Anonymous 115105

awkward-look.gif

>becomes socially unacceptable to post about bf who is hot and tall
>one post then thread dies
… Where's the rest?

Anonymous 115106

>>114927
he looks like a pixar cartoon



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why am i a monster? Anonymous 114884[Reply]

i have a habit of going online and trying to identify anons based on the posts they make. ive also stalked random people from discord servers and logged basically any info i could from them, ive hacked into people's personal accounts through password breaches and phishing links, larped as other people to get close to them, and have even gone so far as to stalk their friends and family.
i take whatever information i can get from them, their insecurities, their personal trauma, and i go on any possible platform i can reach them with and humiliate them with that information. i actively enjoy distressing others, causing them mental grief and poisoning their mental health.
why am i a monster, psychologically speaking? what can be done to get rid of people like me?
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 115063

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>>114884
its because you won't get laid

Anonymous 115073

>>114884
I think you need the kind of help the cafe can't exactly give.

Anonymous 115094

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>>114884
Imagine if the people you harassed were here in this thread mocking you right now

Anonymous 115095

>>115042
i don't really have hobbies. i think the only hobby i really have is trolling and trying to get a reaction from other people. im a pretty lonely person, objectively speaking.

Anonymous 115110

>>115095

Try taking up a hobby that involves people, maybe then you'll find a friend or something and stop doing that shit.



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Anonymous 115284[Reply]

What's it called when the more a person is genuinely kind to you the more uncomfortable and distant you become?
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 115286


Anonymous 115287

>>115286
I'm talking about other women trying to befriend me tard

Anonymous 115288

>>115287
Same applies
We all need a healthy dose of toxicity in our lives, everyone knows “nice” people are just a bunch of fakers. Kindness is only valuable when it comes from people who are honest enough to show you their true feelings

Anonymous 115289

>>115288
Have fun scaring every bit of kindness people have to offer away.

Anonymous 115290

This usually means that as a child you only received attention from your parents almost exclusively when they were unhappy with you.



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