/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>can you ever heal from growing up unwanted + ostracized by your peers?
This one is really hard desu and requires a lot of support from others to recover. Bottom line is you need to be wanted and accepted by others.
If the extent of the damage done to you by ostracization was limited to your self-esteem, you'll probably have an easier time recovering by simply glowing up and changing your environment to a less racist one. You have an issue but you're pretty independent socially.
But if there was serious damage done to your socialization to a point where you're self-isolating weird etc then you'll need much more actual help.

>>125731
Not OP, but sometimes I think some women in spaces like these sort of take it as a slight against all women when a woman talks about feeling ugly, lonely or pathetic or like a loser or something, and they feel the need to overperform how much of an outlier she is or that she's probably a larping moid, like embarrassedly saying "she's not with us" in case an outsider conflates her situation with yours. I don't think that's very fair. This mindset is why I never feel like I can vent about never having a boyfriend before, as if that's somehow remotely implying that applies to everyone here. It doesn't and you shouldn't care what hatereading scrotes think, even with perfect optics they would still make up bullshit reasons to insult women anyway, as they always have done for centuries including back when female outcasts were less prevalent than today.

If anything, I think it's a bit of a horseshoe to imply all women naturally live fabulous lives free of any insecurity, stress or problems. And maybe I'm being a retarded schizo, but "pinkpill" seems like an Inglourious Basterds wrong fingers moment. I thought feminism is the purplepill, and the pinkpill is moid discord/preddit tranny shit.

I dunno. Just seems a bit strange to argue we need to ban women for feeling miserable or suffering, and assuming an anecdote of a girl being harassed by moidlets is actually unrealistic anti-woman propaganda.

>>125739
There has been some complaining about "embarrassing" posts here on /feels/ but really I don't think this thread falls anywhere under that umbrella

>>125731
I’ve only ever seen men have this experience you’re right.

Does anyone else have the urge to gain the attention of only the hottest people to compensate for all those years that you felt like you looked like a monster? Because I think that might be the thing that's ruining my life

>>125779
just don't give it up
does open here imply the relationship is incidental?

>>127041
what i mean to say is: is he really just looking for sex?

tells you he’s never felt love before when he’s like thirty with half a dozen exes. that’s actually scary, baby, not a sign we are meant to be.

if he’s looking at his phone when he’s with you. he shouldn’t be online when you’re home ever. if he is he’s bored.

>>127061
and if he’s bored he’s monkey branching

>>126739
That's terrible!

it’s only been a few days. breathe.

>>126739
I hate this "nonchalant" precept that zoomers follow religiously thinking it makes them cool. Ugh

>>127029
We've also got Millennials locked into permanent Dave Strider coolkid lowercase into their 30s and 40s, too.

>>126994
Hey nona. The fact you're self aware about this is already a huge step. You don't need to save every animal or person that's in distress, it's another way to create a toxic environment. In fact you should be saving only yourself and people who won't inflict harm upon you. Many bad situations can be avoided this way, so hopefully you can find some solace and agency in this idea.

>>126998
those tik toks of animals with days to live have been upsetting me so bad lately. i keep emailing shelters near me to get in touch with them because i can’t have a dog on my floor and i rent. the amount of suffering in the world drives me insane. i guess that’s why i even care someone who hurt me is depressed. he let me suffer alone when he knew i was hurting. there’s just a part of me that can’t be like that towards someone when i know i’m part of it. i wanted him to say sorry and then for it to be over. not for him to be silently suicidal and think the situation is so far gone i wouldn’t care if he apologized and he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. cos like the greater implication scares me. what if no one ever forgives each other for anything and we don’t fix climate change and the whole world is just backed into a corner and the whole earth ends.

>>127001
I actually understand you a lot…
Still I hope you remember that unless you take care of yourself nobody else will. Please put yourself first nona, and your loved ones if you have them
also these tiktoks are 100% made by manipulative mfers

>>127003
i’m glad at least for the ones connecting dogs on death row to people who have confirmed they’ve saved them at least. i tried to show my local shelter the shelter needing animals transferred out and i hope that eventually no animals have to be put down and they can just be moved to areas with not a lot of strays like where i live. it like destroys me inside seeing this stuff because there aren’t any kill shelters within driving distance of me at all so it’s hard to do anything when the most urgent need isn’t local. i try to focus on wildlife rehab and conservation stuff here. i feel like i obsessively need to focus on fixing things or the weight of the world starts driving me actually insane.

>>126989
he’s not secretly venmo-ing me and if he wanted me back it would be a temporary psychotic break. i think this might just be your best friends boyfriend.

no matter what it is he was upset about, destroying things out of anger is genuinely manchild behavior. what i would do is tell him to grow up.

at best he can't control his emotions and damages your home/belongings. at worst this is a warning sign for future domestic abuse if he can't control his violence when upset

>>127024
he was reacting to something that happened to me to be fair to him. it did scare me though.

>>127026
clear sign he thinks of you as his possession, dump him

>>127037
honestly we already had a huge fight over it and made up but he also called me his woman and it made me cringe so much. i’m “your” WHAT? we barely know each other and i low key want to bail still

>>126219
No I Think You Need To Be Reminded

>>126216
Literally whataboutism…
If it's unrelated, it's unrelated.
Unless whatever happened in the current situation is somehow caused by whatever went wrong in the past. But usually, it's something that's caused by not having fixed something that had already been wrong in the past. But even then, you could focus on solutions instead of just faulting someone to put them down. Some list shouldn't be the end of a discussion, even if the argument likely requires some pauses because people need time to process emotions and if they don't take the time, they might opt for whatever solution is the fastest rather than most effective.

Ok Kanaya Maryam

>>126230
There are some things that are always going to be relevant. If someone did something like cheat or put their hands on anyone even in the past, every action of theirs should be weighed against it like “Should I bother dealing with someone who leaves the toilet seat up when I know he cheated on me?” and the answer is “No.”

>>126234
kek

>>125870
I'd say it's pretty normal to not want to get up in the morning if it means having to deal with some assholes who berate you all the time and don't even want to listen to you. Some people are just incapable of dealing with a human they have power over. And some of them are parents. Best of luck nona.

>>125860
I've been there. I promise, it can get better, even if it's a slow process…
But yeah, you're not "making excuses", you're struggling and those people could help you instead of pointlessly complaining about what you're actively suffering from.
But some people simply don't get it. It can be so frustrating, I've had breakdowns over this before with different people. It's a special kind of hell when people don't understand you and you try to express it in different ways and rather than just taking you by your word, they pretend like they can relate somehow and totally get it but by what they're saying, you can tell that they really don't…
I hope you have a therapist you can talk to at least… And that you're getting support, even from the people who don't fully understand. I'd hope they're trying to help at least, even if they're apparently quite bad at it.

>>125860
They don't understand because they never had something like that happen to them. Unfortunately depression is something very few people can actually understand or even sympathize with, people always think there are worse things in life etc etc Trying to explain to them is useless because they will always try to rationalize it when it's not something to rationalize.
Give yourself time, try read things online, self help and care can help a lot

Radahn, stop being a baby and brush your teeth, they smell like your sister´s rot

>>125932
Wish I could say this to my best friends boyfriend. Imagine getting a new relationship when you’re so depressed and have no hobbies and friends and your new gf has to fix his self esteem cuz his “CRAZY EX” made him sad. And your entire first year of dating is you and him against the world baby. Meanwhile his ex is a normal woman who got cheated on and wouldn’t take him back. Who he still pines over publicly. While my best friend picks up after him and he pretends this is his first real relationship and he was the victim in all his other ones or “it just didn’t feel right like it does with you”. And what feels right is living like a depressed loser but she pays for half of it and does all the chores.

>>127073
Always works on people like this

someone is leaving messages pretending to be you and it’s actually ridiculous.

i saw someone like idk exactly who it is or maybe it is you trying to get me to contact you reacting a certain way i’m not sure. but you really went too far with that last one.

you can still apologize but trying to mess with my relationship is going too far. i wish we never dated. it’s the night we met vibes not what if vibes. you should know this.

and if you think those songs are love songs.. oh my god? you’re not one of THOSE people who don’t understand what they mean and like propose during them right???

>>126867
It literally is, he really expected women to be like "ohh that's so true sis slay" so he could take a screencap n bitch and moan in /r9k/ lmfao fucking loser

>>126906
there’s like five women here and a bunch of men spamming. why do they care about this place? because it’s not morally evil inherently like lolcow is so they want to punish the women here more for just being nice and chill?

>>126821
i miss u

I'm 5'0" I'll take him

>>126821
Truly embarrassing. You want to be three inches taller than your partner? You want to look down on his balding head and have everyone around you constantly notice you have wider shoulders and other embarrassing things that automatically make them and their relationship superior to you and yours? Being larger than your boyfriend is like having more money or a better job than your boyfriend. It’s like having a bigger body count than your boyfriend.

It's pretty nice I enjoy it

reading this post just made me want to smash my head against a wall. it's so bad that even the slightest mention of a "happy couple" sends me into a downwards spiral. i hate being lonely.

>>126349
Don't chase the bonding chemical highs lol

>>126350
people really get drunk on brain chemicals and then think when they’re depleted or you’ve developed a tolerance it means the spark faded. there was never a spark. he was just love bombing.

No one has these anymore. Everyone just marries who they’re with when they turn 30 now.