/feels/ - Advice & Venting

We had a work social today, and the goal was simply to relax and connect with people. Still, it left me with the familiar feeling that my presence somehow makes things more awkward rather than better. Being one of only a handful of women in my IT internship and classes seems to amplify that insecurity. The other women appear confident, approachable, and well-liked, even when they’re shy or socially awkward themselves, and they don’t seem to struggle in the same way.

I can’t help wondering what I’m missing or doing incorrectly. I know I’m not conventionally attractive, and while I try not to dwell on that, it’s hard not to feel as though it puts me at a disadvantage. I’m not seeking romance or attention. Just genuine, low-pressure friendships.

I make an effort to reach out, especially to my female coworkers, but plans rarely materialize on their end, even though they seem close with each other. I’m respectful and well-meaning, even if I come across as a little odd at times. Despite that, it often feels like I’m standing just outside of a group I’m trying to be part of.

I suffer because I'm a conflict prone embarrassing bitch, but also, I feel like it sets me free. Life has no meaning without adversity. It just ends up feeling like constant following rules without any real goal in sight.

I'm actually a bit confused as to why I feel this way, maybe I have a personality disorder. It's an internal conflict: conflicts are tactically bad, yet they are not. Social failure is a loss, yet it isn't (like it's data or smth).
It's like I have to close my eyes on the bad consequences to get the good ones.

Any aesthetic images for this /feel/?

I'm about to reject the last guy I'll ever have a chance with. I want a relationship but i feel scared to commit or something. I have past trauma from moids and am about to start EMDR therapy for this.

I don't think I would dare to share the trauma with him (too much shame;_; for now) but communication and trust is fundamental for any relationship.. and since I'm going through therapy for it I can't really not say anything.

But he has never had a relationship before, I don't think he's experienced to talk emotionally about this sort of stuff honestly… I think I'm scared he'll disappoint me when I'm choosing to let my guard down during this particular difficult time.

It's just; I don't want to have sex; but have had past experiences, while he hasn't had any experience; so then I take that away from him. And I'm suicidal and don't know if I'm gonna be alive in a year tbh … So it kinda feels like im tricking him or something because he doesn't know how messed up I am.

At the same time I do like him a lot, he's funny, super easy to talk to (I just don't know if also on a deeper level,,), can cook, is pretty active with hobbies; though doesn't seem to have any career/life goals.. We have been friends for a year btw, but very on and off…

And I pushed him away many times (:/) but he has continued to reach out to me… but one reason why I stopped talking to him is that he is too scared to talk to me irl, and never confessed his feelings. I just want clarity. I know he likes me but I want him to say it. Communication is important…

But if it's not him then I don't think I will be pursuing any more romantic connections with moids at all in the future. …

Anyways, he reached out to me after some time. Nonas do you have advice? should I pass on him or no…. or is there any advice on how to deal with this because it feels like im sabotaging myself if i say no but I know it's for the best. And how can I forget him…….
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Hi nonas
I really need help
I really like this guy and he really likes me, we spend all of our time together to a downright obsessive degree, and ive never really experienced something like this because i was not very appealing to boys growing up. But now, Im having trouble going forward with him

He is still hung up kn a girl he dated a year and a half ago. Usually this would immediately turn one away from pursuing anything, but he is so tied to my hip that i dont doubt his affections for me. But he does say things that worry me, I fear I cant shape up to this girl that he had a really thrilling romance with, everytime he mentions her I feel like he misses her more and more. He mentions how nice she was to him, and how well they understood eachother, and it is so affectionate. I am so sad, these days, I cry a lot, but he also freaks out if he feels like I’m upset with him or just disappointed with him, I dont doubt he loves me, but i dont think he will ever love me as much as he loves this other girl. I am really autistic and i have troublr understanding other people on a degree like that. They havent spoken in a year but its still like this.

I feel so stupid and dumb and immature, i feel like a failure of a woman, im 22 and I’ve never had a boyfriend, so this is my first time experiencing soemthing like this. Am I desperate? what should I do?

Share any positive feelings or positive things.

Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love


Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl

Am I a bad person? I always lurk here and read the posts from the nonas, but I don’t really feel anything. I understand the reactions and emotions of people who suffered harm and want to do harm, but the only thing I can do is come up with a very generic opinion about it. I don’t think I’m a psychopath because I do feel remorse for things, but they’re usually petty and small things. Like, I cringe and feel awful every time I remember that I didn’t share my cold tea with my grandmother when she asked how it tasted, I almost cry whenever I think about that. But I felt nothing when I broke up with my ex and left him stranded in the middle of another town he didn’t know anything about.

tell me about your day cc!
stories also welcome

what don’t i understand.

me and my bf aren't compatible

there is nothing in the world moids value more than the women they call “whores”. yes nonas… even your precious nigel’s. they see no issue giving these “whores” their sexual energy daily while in “monogamous ” committed relationships. they will shame these women publicly and go jerk off to them 30 minutes later. and don’t you forget that if you were to engage in these whorish activities yourselves they will suddenly have a problem with it because you’re the madonna in their story. committing to a moid is allowing yourself to be his full time madonna. while he gets to disrespect both you and the “whores” he shames however much he wants. stop allowing them to do this. men do not love you. romantic love is patriarchal propaganda.