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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

BPD Blues.png

What now? Anonymous 119395[Reply]

A few months ago I was diagnosed with BPD. And more recently PTSD.

It's nice to have answers. For over a decade I thought the brain fog I felt was due to malnutrition or something, but apparently it's because of depersonalization. That's just one example of many things.

I don't know very much about BPD. Every time it comes up in conversation it's either in reference to someone's abusive ex or as an insult.

Of course I crave love and intimacy. I've never been in a relationship before. I've never even had anyone ask me out. I have a lot of very complicated, very mood-swing-ey feelings about that. I feel like I'm almost trying to find shitty things about the human race to make me hate being around people, so that it hurts less to be alone. I think it's working. Right now I'm in a state of mind where I feel fine being alone. I'd rather be alone than risk hurting the people I love.


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Vent: Lesbian Relationships Anonymous 119386[Reply]

Just wanted to vent about my recent lesbian relationship really. I don’t often talk to many people and I hope I can find some people on here that can understand what I’m going through. I’ve been in an on and off relationship with a girl for a few months now. Her and I are really into kpop and we play video games together sometimes. We know each other in person, but she isn’t really on image boards as I am. She is seriously a bit of an asshole, yet I like her still. I’ve been distancing myself from her and called it completely off yet I cannot stop thinking about her sometimes. She’s a really beautiful more masculine tomboyish girl but she starts arguments out of the blue, and even wanted to get rid of me she said verbally in the past. I believe she’s undiagnosed with whatever shit is going on in her head.
Does anyone have some sort of advice on moving on or any other lesbians have been in a similar situation?

Anonymous 119387

idk be straight

Anonymous 119388

>>119387
Probably closeted



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Anonymous 118935[Reply]

My ex bf who dated for like 8 years just got a new gf. We’ve talked everyday since we broke up. Now that he’s dating her, he treats me differently. I found out today he went to visit her family and meet her dad. They’ve been dating a month. Through 8 years of dating we visited my dad maybe like 5 times. He didn’t like going and I didn’t wanna push him. The last time we went, I ended up in tears. he screamed at me about how I made him go. Then cried and said he didn’t like going cause he didn’t have a family. He drives like 2-4 hours to see her. He wouldn’t even drive 5 minutes to the coffee place in town for me. Do I have a right to be kind of hurt and upset?
(She’s a lard monster, a literal land whale. Shes not better looking than I am.)
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119290

>>118935
As >>118957 said, he's a bitch. If he's visiting her dad even though he hated going to yours, that means that either he realized he was a dumbass and that any normal man wouldn't complain, or that he realized he was going to keep losing every future gf like he lost you. Kinda like how if after an unhealthy person gets a heart attack, they start exercising. Or if a person was never able to keep a gf because he never showered, so he started showering.

If she's fatter and uglier than you, then odds are is that he's settling, and might even be regretful.

>do I have the right to be hurt and upset

yeah I guess, but like I feel you don't have much reason to. Trash threw himself out. Feel you should be happy af

Anonymous 119297

>>119284
>this doesn’t reflect on your character
Let's be honest here. It more than likely does. Anyone who posts on a website like this and browses the imageboard sphere probably isn't a great or interesting person.

Anonymous 119333

you dont have the right to feel anything at this point, he loved you at some point but that's gone now. reality is (move on) he wasn't the right one to begin with. there's a reason why he treats you differently but 8 years? seriously let go. theres no reason to be upset over somebody who didnt put in the effort for any of your needs.

Anonymous 119337

I wouldnt be hurt that he left me but that I wastd 8 years with a guy that didnt love me

Anonymous 119355

Anon he's a loser, stop talking to him. It is not normal to maintain daily contact with an ex when they have a new gf.



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Anonymous 118662[Reply]

>try online dating
>everything seems to go well
>they randomly block you
>not sure if i should ask if they're okay or just take the hint

Why is this so common?

Anonymous 118663

>>118662
>just take the hint
you could be doing everything right and this would still happen. dont blame yourself. theres something wrong with those people. dont date through that stuff

Anonymous 118676

I think men on dating apps are really just looking for hookups. like think about it, their seeing pretty girl after pretty girl so they probably get distracted by that and don't wanna do anything serious.

I met my bf on /soc/ so maybe give that a shot.

Anonymous 119341

>>118676
where on /soc/ did you meet your bf? I thought that board was mostly disgusting coomers and degenerate NEETs.

Anonymous 119346

>>118662
What the previous nona said, dating apps are no longer dating apps but rather hookup apps. I personally don't use them but a few friends of mine have and they've told me as such, so it worked out for them and their short-lived hoe phase.
>>119341
The ghosting and random blocking still happens on /soc/, not everyone there is a disgrace to the human race but looking for those people limits your options a bit and it still doesn't save you from people doing that to you. Honestly I think you might be better off using the friend threads if you just want someone to talk to or game with.



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making friends is so hard Anonymous 119277[Reply]

I wanna make friends so badly but i feel like i always manage to ruin it because of how awkward i am it doesn’t really matter to me who the person is I just want to talk to someone :(

Anonymous 119279

I think its honestly due to technology or smartphones. Nobody seems to ever want to communicate anymore other than with just their inner circle of friends. I am not an awkward person, but even the friendships I do make don't last long not because I am not trying, they just stop making the effort to communicate or even link up.

Anonymous 119280

>>119277
Do you mean real life friends or just discord friends?

Anonymous 119282

>>119279

i think this is probably the case too… it seems like no one really cares to get to know anyone anymore it feels like whenever i meet new people i cant even expect to talk to them anymore past that even if were considered “friends” everything just feels so fake

Anonymous 119283

>>119280
either or i just wanna be able to talk to people about anything really :(

Anonymous 119340

>>119277
I'd say the best way to make good friends is too find an obscure community for, well, anything really and be active on it, even if they tend to be full of weirdos. I used to be really really awkward socially growing up, I then joined the community for a game that no longer exists in principle and found friends that'll last me a lifetime.



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If you have ZERO interaction on a dating app…. Anonymous 119273[Reply]

… does that mean you’re ugly as hell?

I’ve thought myself to be cute and at least able to attract some woman’s attention by now.

But I decided to create a dating account (done so about twice in the past with the same results) and I rarely, if ever, have any likes or messages.

Not to mention, I notice that most of the women there are CAKED in the face and I wonder if being bare is hurting my image more than I expected it to. I’m not someone who wears cosmetics and I’m not wanting to start for two seconds of attention on some dating app.

But damn. I’m starting to wonder if I’m actually not as beautiful as I had thought.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119298

>>119273
You're probably both ugly and uninteresting. Ugly people can get action if they show an interesting life in their photos. But since you're posting on this website I assume all your photos are depressing grainy selfies in your drab bedroom.

Anonymous 119299

I think people just have distorted views of what women online look like since they can easily put on any makeup and edit away flaws making it look perfect. I don't have any advice on dating/dating apps but I hope you don't worry about it too much nona, such apps are often rigged anyway

Anonymous 119301

You might just be too picky rather than ugly.

Anonymous 119302

Which apps?
A lot of them aren't particularly good places for lesbians.
Often the dating app interactions that actually exist for lesbians are either men impersonating women for fetish purposes or men impersonating women for financial scamming purposes.
This is not a terrible thing because it means that life outside of dating apps is usually sufficient for most lesbians to find a real partner in normal space.

Anonymous 119329

>>119273
Shadowbanned



animesher.com_haru…

pros/cons of your bf Anonymous 105405[Reply]

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!
257 posts and 25 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119274

>>119267
I’m pretty damn happy with him. Just haven’t had the luxury of living with him to see if we’re actually able to live together. One thing I wish I understood when I was younger was you can love each other and get along well but have fundamental differences in values that make you incompatible as a couple. Stuff like agreeing on wanting children or even just some basic ways that you conduct your daily lives (think cleanliness standards). In those cases it’s better to just split amicably if you can and stay friends. It’s not reasonable to expect someone to change just because you ask them to.

Anonymous 119275

>>116764
> femdom
Gross, stopped reading right there.
Kinks are disgusting

Anonymous 119291

>>117907
>scizo rants about the government, and the supernatural
>His life revolves around magic
>Makes you feel stupid… makes you think the intelligence gap is huge

Um, nothing wrong with anyone practicing witchcraft or whatever - if anything we need more witches out here - but based on how you're describing him, he doesn't seem like the epitome of intelligence in the highest sense. I don't mean to put him down, because literally most people aren't, and everyone has their own best version of intelligence, like EQ or being empathetic or being autistic about the Sino-japanese wars. But I just don't want you to feel like you're a stupid person or something - or at least any more than the average person undoubtedly and uncontrollably is, which includes your bf.

If he treats you right and loves you well, I'm all for this relationship, really. But if he sometimes says things that makes you feel put down in an I'm-stupid way, you really need to talk to him about it. If he truly is smart, he should be able to self reflect, and work with you to better communicate information in the future.

Anonymous 119292

>>119269
>overweight
>goes to the gym
Can't choose both as a con, lol

Anonymous 119317

>>119292
He's a powerlifter, one of his hobbies.



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i want a gf or bf so much T_T Anonymous 119288[Reply]

i crave love so much… i feel so lonely i just wanna be held or hold someone close to me and share some type of bond with them why is everything so hard or even really a platonic soulmate would be enough as long as we could hug..

Anonymous 119289

>>119288
Go on Tinder or Hinge or Bumble

Anonymous 119306

>>119288
I feel you, nona. I want physical intimacy really bad and to share a meaningful connection with someone but it will take a lifetime before anyone chooses to pursue anything serious with me.

Anonymous 119321

>>119289
fuck no



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Im slowly dying on the inside Anonymous 119285[Reply]

What can I possibly accomplish on my own. I don't have any skills or talents. I cant even fucking think for myself.Is there anything I can actually do in life? I just want to give up.I got hired couple months ago at my job I work at. My working pace is slow.I'm not as intelligent as some of my coworker's my age.I feel like I'm treated like an idiot. Can't even work to make up my hours if I can't even perform at the lvl they except me to. I'm pretty sure I'm being talked at behind my back.My life is depressing as it is. I cry almost everyday. I'm starting to think maybe there is something actually mentally wrong with me. Not just depression wise. Please give me any advice.

Anonymous 119287

>>119285
might sound simple but hav you thought of talking to therapist it could help usually mine helps me out with work problems etc

what type of job is it also?

Anonymous 119294

What's your job and how old are you? What do you do for fun?



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“ Straighten Your Hair” nonsense. Anonymous 119243[Reply]

MY AUNT:

You should straighten your hair! Stop leaving it as a curly afro all the time!

ALSO MY AUNT:
Why is she asking us to ride her around all the time!?

Because I can’t traverse in rainy + humid weather without my hair frizzing out. You were so adamant about me straightening my hair and now you’re upset because I’m trying my hardest not to ruin it. If I’m going to burn my fucking scalp, I’m going to make it last.

I’m already anxious over my hair being ruined because I’ve used heat after being YEARS clean from them.

Anonymous 119244

>>119243
I feel you, I hate having curly hair. It's not even the cute kind of curls UGH.

Anonymous 119245

>>119244

You know what— I don’t say this as a platitude but I really do think all curly/kinky hair is cute.

But I know what you mean because it’s not the kind that other see as “cute”.

It just sucks that you could find so much beauty in something unconventional yet those who around you will beat that opinion out of you.

Besides, why the helll was straightening my hair the only option she could think of?

Black women hate black (or biracial black in my case) hate each other so much but are flustered and mad when you say as much.

Anonymous 119246

>>119245

Apologies for the typos. I’m high as a kite right now.



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