/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I’m so touch starved. I’m genuinely starting to get curious about where to find male prostitutes. Not for sex. Just for cuddles and to tell me I’m pretty. Maybe he’d play with my hair. Im going insane.
Do any nonas have experience with prostitutes? What was it like?

>>51270 previous bread

I never brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes

My boyfriend and I were together for two years - when we started dating I was 18 and he was 23. He was my first kiss and he took my virginity. Not that it really matters, I guess the only significance is that this was my first relationship. He really really cared about me. He told me he thought he would never meet someone who he could marry and have kids with, and that he changed his mind when he met me. And I ruined everything. ;_; He sent me an email yesterday telling me to accept that he will never say "I love you" to me again… I don't know what to do. This is awful. I miss him so much, he was my only friend. I made a lot of the time we spent together suck really bad because I’m always sad or anxious about something but I still loved being around him. He is so smart and so warm, he makes friends everywhere he goes. I miss him so much. Do you think if I work on my issues he will give me one last chance? Please let me know if you need more info, any reassurance would bring me so much comfort. I don't want to be with anyone else. Sorry for the annoying post.

I did the quiz multiple times and ever since I was 16 I got the same answer - INTP (logician). this personality type isn't very common for women and is predominantly men, which makes me feel even more like an outcast.

Most people don't really like me and I don't really enjoy their company either. That's sad but I have come to accept it.

Anyone else just accept the fact that they'll never have a husband and kids? How do you cope?

Why do people get married only to cheat or divorce? Shouldn't they know if they're happy to be together BEFORE they get married?

most women are deluded when they think they meet a good man. all my life i've never met a good man. until i met this one. his behavior was akin to Jesus Christ. it seemed as if it was physically impossible for him to do anything which even mildly inconviences anyone, let alone hurting anyone. as for me, it seems like i am physically incapable of doing anything but hurting people. to cut it short, he absolutely did not deserve what i did to him. i met him online and within less than a month of dating i got blackout drunk and cheated on him. like an idiot i talked to my friends about it because i cant keep my mouth shut about anything. i talked to my best friend about it and what we decided was since it was so early on and i genuinely saw a future with him i should just move on from it. forget about it. so i didn't tell him. we kept talking.

we decided we wanted to see eachother in person. he spent $5000 on a plane ticket and an airbnb for 25 days. i started birth control- the Opill, 3 days before he came. the first 2 days were heavenly. then on the 3rd night we shared a bottle of vodka together. i was doing okay until i put on his boxers. i was reminded of what i had done to him. i grabbed a kitchen knife and started to cut myself in front of him. i cut my neck. then we went to sleep. the dream was over. over the course of the next couple weeks i just wanted to stay in bed all day. i kept arguing with him over the tiniest things. it was like i was constantly on edge. he said it felt like i was never actually there, never "lucid enough to have an actual conversation with." we only had sex a few times because he said he could only have sex with someone who he felt loved him and he didnt feel like i loved him. we didn't go out a lot, not a lot of "cute dates…" we went out to fast food joints a few times. then he broke up with me. he said we could still stay friends and he could keep "taking care of me" but we couldn't have a romantic relationship anymore. he said i should leave the airbnb for a few days. my best friend, who lives nearby where we were staying, asked for his discord tag because "he's a foreigner trapped in an airbnb alone and we (her and her roommate, an acquaintance of mine who also knew what i had done to him,) want to be there for him incase anything goes wrong." then i left to go home.

then it gets worse. basically to cut it short they told him i have something to tell him and i threatened suicide over it. i video cPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I LOVE RAGEBAITING IS SO MUCH FUN LOL. its funnier when they actually fall from the bait and insult me back. I get my daily serotonin from dumb people that believe everything on the internet LOL

I'm a NEET in my late 20s and I hate myself.
I hate that I pity myself, that I crave sympathy, that I want someone to save me, that I crave affection and male attention. that I am too much of a coward to kill myself, that I exist, that I am here.

I am fat, ugly and black. I only hate being black due to the racism otherwise I don't really care. I greatly hate my body more. I hate how I was subjected to (what my brain says) mild emotional abuse directed at my body that I couldn't put it past me but used that as extra fuel to continue to hate myself. physical abuse and whatever else but not anything actually having such a low and violently sad mind like mine. I have never been strong enough in any aspect to get over this pathetic narrative about myself, I in fact adopted it myself and subjected myself to years of overthinking and negative talk resulting in no self confidence or self esteem. I deeply feel remorse for my younger self but have no grace for my present self. I wish to end my life and start again or simply poof out of existence.

It's sad to realize that my life has no merit nor meaning. That my words will continue to fall on deaf ears including my own and that I will be stuck like this because I simply do not like nor care for myself enough to try.

It is truly pathetic and I have no one to blame but myself.

Not being strong enough to say fuck you to a stranger is one thing but not being able to tell it to yourself is just retarded. I couldn't actually ruin my life because I am too much of a pussy to go all the way into the deep end, the same goes for the other side, attempting to reverse whatever I have done to myself.

I must be a poser, a faker to have these thoughts and feelings yet the lame experiences attached to my life that to me, doesn't validate such a strong emotional and mental reaction. There are and always will be people who have had horrors happened to them, what is my excuse? That I was never picked in school? That no boy ever liked me? That no person ever truly took the time to notice me? lol. How pitiful.

I am truly sorry to those who ever had to come into contact with me. To those who may even read this until the end lol. I wish I could be pathetic enough to lose this life that was put upon me without a feeling of pain or suffering yet, I can not. I can't. I can not do it to myself or by myself. Pain and suffering should be something I deserve I agree but I am too much Post too long. Click here to view the full text.