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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

c3dbd6cc0018ad6b4e…

Am i Toxic Anonymous 125995[Reply]

Been dating with my bf for 7 months now, i trust him but i have the urge to stalk. It's a really bad habit but i cant stop it, everytime i try not to do it i feel like there's something eating me inside out. Since we started dating i never told him to unfollow the girls he follows since they don't have an inappropriate profile and them seem from his uni or his friends girlfriends. I stalked him today after he went to sleep and i sent him the 2 girl's account he recently followed asking who they are? But in a mad way. And i want to know if being this jealous is a toxic behavior. I don't think he shouldn't have friends and i didn't say anything about friends that seem close to him but these new girls seem like they're NOT from his uni and 1 is emo uwu type edgy girl and they both follow him back. I don't understand. Its been hours since im trying to sleep but i cant its already 7 am

Anonymous 125997

No, you have reasonable suspicion. Can’t trust moids these days especially the last part about the uwu emo girl part. You need to confront him. Don’t let him think he can slide away with anything. Also, guys probably like it when you’re a bit “jealous” because it shows you really do love and value them.

Anonymous 125998

>>125997
He woke up and kept apologizing and said that the emo girl was someone he followed really long time ago before we even meet but i probably didn't see her he said he's sure that he didn't follow her recently and he has cut the conversation with her after we started talking. The other one turned out to be his really close friend's gf lol



RDT_20250807_17061…

Outraged that I'm supposed to find most scrotes attractive Anonymous 125434[Reply]

It is more like 2% and I think they're all abominations. How am I expected to give a shit about anything when the world is a cesspit full of disgusting, backwards ugly scrotes and their shitty crumbling domain built on financial parasitism and environmental rape??? Theyre mostly a disease and indifferent to the big picture

So I should be attractive why? I don't want the ugly filth looking at me. How is that so hard for other women to understand though? Of course I don't want the monstrosities looking at me. Of course I don't want to be attractive. How is it possible you still have to explain this to other women in 2025?
20 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125937

>>125936
>Are you really "supposed" to
Well, yes, I guess women are expected to be heterosexual. I tried to force myself to be attracted to random boys at school just to fit in when I was asked about crushes, it was to the point that even I started to believe it. Until a boy asked me out and I had to face reality. I just didn't want to date at all and if I got to pick, I'd actually prefer my girl friends as girlfriends, but also not in a sexual way. It took me so long to figure out my actual preferences because I was preoccupied with what and how I'm "supposed" to be attracted to people.

Anonymous 125938

>>125937
>I just didn't want to date at all and if I got to pick, I'd actually prefer my girl friends as girlfriends, but also not in a sexual way

Thats just means you are not ready for dating. I mean thats perfectly normal, not everybody needs to date and if you go out to date, either men or women, when all you want it seems to be to chill with your friends, you are actually forcing yourself to end up in uncomfortable situations.

Anonymous 125945

>>125938
Yeah, I felt that way until I had an actual crush at 20.
Made me feel very out of place since all of my friends were dating or at the very least interested in it, like 10 years earlier than me. I'm almost 30 now and I noticed that I only really get crushes on people I've been friends with for like at least 3 years. More romantically than sexual though, so I'd say I'm demiromantic asexual since that's what that describes. I don't feel abnormal about it anymore, it's just how I am ig. I do wish I'd figured out that this kind of asexuality is normal earlier though, because I did force myself into some uncomfortable situations in my late teens… Especially after reading about how totally effective arranged marriages are, that feelings will just develop if you force yourself to be with someone of the opposite gender (because "men and women can't be friends, they'll date" or sth) or that women aren't truly interested in sex anyway but they have it because they care so much about their bfs and just trying out sex will make me like and crave it anyway and all that garbage. (One of my friends really did crave sex and I thought, "sex must be so good, I'll feel just like her after I do it, I just gotta bring myself to do it"). I'm glad I didn't take it too far in the end though, my partner never pressured me or anything although I did feel immense guilt when I didn't just fall in love and want sex after doing very uncomfortable kissing and stuff. (I even tried to work myself up to it by fantasising and thinking of him when masturbating, but it didn't really change anything). Wasn't great for either of us but I'm glad that it didn't go as far as it could've gone. I should've taken it easy back then and just focused on my friends instead of trying to force something I wasn't feeling, but whenever I told people I didn't have a crush nor type, they straight up didn't believe me and accused me of lying and stuff, kinda sucked…

Anonymous 125981

>>125936
Thanks I'm just ranting really. I know I don't "have" to find men attractive I just want to shout into the void my irritation. I'm actually 4b. I'm not closed off to dating women I just don't want to hurt them. Did I mention I got out of all of my relationships? I genuinely start feeling claustrophobic in them. Up until now at least.

i can still feel attraction towards them though. So sometimes I genuinely wonder if someone wouldn't make me want to run for the hills… But I'm resigned to assume no, because it's happened so mNy times I just don't date.

But I refuse to experiment in ways that hurt lesbians just for my own gain no matter how cute I find them sometimes. I get claustrophobic but I don't rope people info it.

The thing with men though is complicated. I'm on the opposite side of the universe from men and what they want, there's too much to unpack.

Anonymous 125982

>>125937
That was me too, ages ago. I thought I had to give it a shot and I broke them all off.



b99d20aee5d595595d…

Anonymous 125956[Reply]

Being 'pretty' is tiresome. An expectation I think I'm always carrying. I am always called pretty, or something gets complimented, but in the back of my head, I think, "well, I have a fun personality too, y'know." If it isn't that it's strange men treating me like a commodity or something to be conquered. I can't complain about it, cause it's something I actively choose to maintain, simply because life is a bit easier this way. It's strange because I also don't even feel pretty. My face is just flesh, fat, and bone, like every other part of my body. Some days, I want to never shower, or do my hair, or makeup. I want to stop taking care of my skin. Sometimes I want to be hideous. Sometimes I want to go back to being obese and unwanted, because the only expectation was to at the very least be clean. But I guess it doesn't matter. I view myself the same as I always have.

Anonymous 125959

>>125956
This is such a non issue lol. If being pretty is so tiresome go back to being a fat slob.

Anonymous 125961

>>125959
Yes, that's why I said "I can't complain"
I'm not unhappy, just thinking about how strange it is

Anonymous 125962

>>125959
Yes, that's why I said "I can't complain"
I'm not unhappy, just thinking about how strange it is

Anonymous 125963

>>125962
why do you keep double-posting nona?

Anonymous 125964

>>125963
I don't know why it's happening, I think it's something with my computer



b99d20aee5d595595d…

Anonymous 125955[Reply]

Being 'pretty' is tiresome. An expectation I think I'm always carrying. I am always called pretty, or something gets complimented, but in the back of my head, I think, "well, I have a fun personality too, y'know." If it isn't that it's strange men treating me like a commodity or something to be conquered. I can't complain about it, cause it's something I actively choose to maintain, simply because life is a bit easier this way. It's strange because I also don't even feel pretty. My face is just flesh, fat, and bone, like every other part of my body. Some days, I want to never shower, or do my hair, or makeup. I want to stop taking care of my skin. Sometimes I want to be hideous. Sometimes I want to go back to being obese and unwanted, because the only expectation was to at the very least be clean. But I guess it doesn't matter. I view myself the same as I always have.


IMG_20251010_20563…

Anonymous 125940[Reply]

>lurk 4chan
>full of toxicity
>lurk cc
>full of toxicity
it's all so tiresome, nonas…

Anonymous 125947

>>125940
>go to imageboards full of raging socially maligned freaks
>get shocked that the raging socially maligned freaks are socially maligned

Anonymous 125948

This image makes me so sad ik it's probably AI but it makes me so unreasonably sad

Anonymous 125952

>>125947
why are you so angry
>>125948
he brought it upon himself sadly



95a3d702ca42a1cdcd…

Anonymous 125860[Reply]

Why is everyone telling me to stop making excuses when I'm just trying to explain how hard it is to get up in the morning, how hard it is to talk to people, and how hard it is to remember whether I brushed my teeth?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125870

>>125868
My parents 😭

Anonymous 125871

>>125870
I'd say it's pretty normal to not want to get up in the morning if it means having to deal with some assholes who berate you all the time and don't even want to listen to you. Some people are just incapable of dealing with a human they have power over. And some of them are parents. Best of luck nona.

Anonymous 125882

>>125860
I've been there. I promise, it can get better, even if it's a slow process…
But yeah, you're not "making excuses", you're struggling and those people could help you instead of pointlessly complaining about what you're actively suffering from.
But some people simply don't get it. It can be so frustrating, I've had breakdowns over this before with different people. It's a special kind of hell when people don't understand you and you try to express it in different ways and rather than just taking you by your word, they pretend like they can relate somehow and totally get it but by what they're saying, you can tell that they really don't…
I hope you have a therapist you can talk to at least… And that you're getting support, even from the people who don't fully understand. I'd hope they're trying to help at least, even if they're apparently quite bad at it.

Anonymous 125884

>>125860
They don't understand because they never had something like that happen to them. Unfortunately depression is something very few people can actually understand or even sympathize with, people always think there are worse things in life etc etc Trying to explain to them is useless because they will always try to rationalize it when it's not something to rationalize.
Give yourself time, try read things online, self help and care can help a lot

Anonymous 125932

6r7iobusx4g91.jpg

Radahn, stop being a baby and brush your teeth, they smell like your sister´s rot



490594501_97971706…

how to know someone is a fuckboy? Anonymous 125779[Reply]

I met a guy (unfortunately through a dating app and I haven't had a kiss in the last 3 years, we are going to for a date this Monday but, I really wanna know if anyone here had dealt with a fuckboy before and how to notice if I'm just gonna lose my time, he said he is open for a long time relationship so, at least the "open" may mean something? I won't open my legs coz we met.

Yeah that's all
Wish my stupid ass some luck, he is really cute ngl

And he is a nerd, quite a big nerd tbh, someone that collects anime figures and paint warhammer stuff at the end of the day goes against the "i go to the gym and I have a six pack" type of guy only, or that's what I think, sighs…
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125861

>>125851
>a nasty reputation for being misandric
…You know where you are, right?

Anonymous 125862


Anonymous 125876

>>125779
Monday's come and gone so how was it?

Anonymous 125878

>>125779
Tell him you won't have sex before marriage.

Anonymous 125924

Just deny him on the first few dates and see how he reacts. Get to know his interests and hobbies first, too.
Be careful those nerd types are usually insecure, but they can get really nasty when they don’t get what they want in a short period of time. Most men are like that, but a nerd can become obsessed since he doesn’t have anything else to move on to.



5fd0e9f015fc869f2a…

Anonymous 125902[Reply]

I'm 39 weeks pregnant. I was out for a formal reason, related to my documents. While I was gone (about 4 hours), my boyfriend managed to buy a liter bottle of vodka and drink, like, a third of it, maybe even closer to half. He apologized, but I don't know what to do. Total irresponsibility from him. On top of that, he doesn't want me to get an education or work, and I haven't had the chance to go outside or see doctors because he doesn't like it. I think I've only left the house about 7 times during the pregnancy. If I threaten to leave, he threatens suicide. He has history of suicidal behaviour. I don't know what to do. I can't leave the cat, but seems like it's already over. My bf had issues with alcohol and other substances before, like a year ago.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125907

If you leave you will only have one baby to take care of. He sounds unstable and probably abusive, that sort of behavior tends to ramp up after the baby comes. You really need to see a doctor nona, I really hope he isn’t your entire support system cause if he is he’s failing

Anonymous 125908

>>125902
>he doesn't want me to get an education or work, and I haven't had the chance to go outside or see doctors because he doesn't like it
Kill him.
>my boyfriend is a drug addict
If he blames his bad behaviour on any drugs he takes, he's still responsible for his bad behaviour, don't forget.
>he doesn't want me to get an education or work
Why? There could not be a flag redder than this. This is third world woman slavery level of controlling abuse.
>I can't see the doctor
You know, if you kill him, it's basically self-defence. Not just because of this particular red flag, but it's quite a glaring one, innit?
>he doesn't like it
Why? Because he doesn't like you seeing other people who could remind you that there's a whole world out there where you could be free and away from him? Are you literally his prisoner?
>I think I've only left the house about 7 times during the pregnancy. If I threaten to leave, he threatens
Yeah, he's definitely keeping you prisoner. Trying to brainwash you that this is normal and that if he can't keep you confined and submissive, he'll literally die, that's normal for a certain type of abuser. He's full of shit, he won't kill himself and if he does, is that so bad…?
>he threatens suicide
Unfortunately, he likely won't do it himself. My dad was like this too, always threatening to kill himself and that fucker never did, despite all the times he cut himself (shallow cuts) and took various drugs (also vodka, but also more illegal drugs and weed). When I was living with him and brainwashed by living with him for more than 15 years (you can't help having empathy for someone you live with for this long, especially if your safety depends on their mood, it's instinctual to feel like you need to care for them like a servant) I was so worried about him, like the so goodhearted teenager I was. But no, he did not kill himself, even decades later. If he had, I'd have gotten through that though. You and your babys safety are 1000x more important than your abusers fragile psyche and also his psyche is neither your fault nor even your responsibility! You are NOT responsible for this grown aPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 125909

>>125902
>>125908
Sorry, that post was way too long…
Please work on getting away, it's not safe to stay with someone like that… What country are you from? Is there anyone you can reach out to? Anyone trustworthy? Anyone at all?

Anonymous 125910

>>125902
If you live in the US then call nearby women’s shelters, community resources, planned parenthood, anything. You’re being abused and falsely imprisoned and they can give you resources and guidance to get out.

Anonymous 125914

>>125902
was this baby planned/wanted? are you in your country legally/have citizenship?
Either way-your boyfriend is setting you up for abuse via babytrapping. you need to leave. it does not matter if he offs himself and it is not your fault because it’s his planned choice. threatening suicide is literally an abuse tactic. not letting you see a doctor is abusive because that’s extremely dangerous to your health. Take the cat outside, cats have survival instincts and can fend for themselves. You and your baby are more important.
Collect all of your evidence to be used in court against him potentially make sure you have things to identify yourself.
Does your family or friends know about this? Try and see if you can stay with them.
Block him everywhere and if he comes back with his bullshit you have to take him to court.
It’s not love to block your wife and future child from medical care. He cannot support you and values drugs more than you. This man is garbage



1746655217858416.j…

Anonymous 125813[Reply]

Why is life so hard to feel SAFE as a woman


__yor_briar_and_tw…

Anonymous 125548[Reply]

Are relationships supposed to be one sided?

>They only talk about themselves

>You have to talk about them or something related to them
>You have to ask questions and try to make it fun or interesting for them
>If you share something about yourself, they are instantly disinterested and don't care
>They don't care to ask you anything and don't want to know anything about you
>The moment you stop making any effort, everything stops
>They're sincerely not interested unless it's sharing something about themselves or their interests
>When they are having a bad day, you want to be there for them. If you are having a bad day, they don't care
>People who only ask how you are so they can talk about their problems
>Friends sometimes need more support after a bad day or life-altering event. That is normal. But if you have a bad day or life-altering event, they literally don't care
>They will dominate a whole conversation no matter how many people are present. If it's a one on one conversation then it feels like it's 90/10.
>Most advice about being a good listener and putting in effort is met with being totally one-sided
>People just talk about themselves constantly
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 125552

No.

Anonymous 125553

Honestly sounds like it might be a point of view problem. Maybe you are underestimating how much effort the other parties are putting into the relationship. I did the same thing when I was younger.

Anonymous 125554

>>125548
Warren the Eagle?

Anonymous 125744

Nope.

Anonymous 125789

Theyll always gonna talk about themselves or their favorite football team no matter how much you dont give a shit about it. At least youll know what they are easier so thats a positive thing.



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