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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 115968[Reply]

I've been dating for three years. Today I was talking normally to my boyfriend on a phone call, and after 10 minutes of normal conversations he simply said he wanted to break up, with the justification that when we broke up two years ago, I acted like I was single. He talked about the parties and clubs I went to and the hoe friends I had at the time. I thought it was a joke, because it was literally two years ago, and during the period we broke up he partied a lot and went out with several girls he met on Tinder. But he wasn't kidding. It really seems to me that he just invented a reason to break up, as if he was cheating on me or was going to cheat on me. What should I think?

Anonymous 115969

>>115968
>on and off relationship
Yeah . . . no.

Anonymous 115979

>>115968
he cheated, if you have a hunch then its real

Anonymous 115981

Girl, it's really not for you. He's having enough decency to save you the trouble, time and effort of getting with a man that can't commit and can't self-reflect or hold himself accountable (as he showed you by blaming you for what you did during your breakup and not thinking that whatever he did was wrong), so take that opportunity to leave. He doesn't sound like he's an adult mentally, it's time to run.


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Adult Children of Alcoholics Anonymous 115912[Reply]

Any other adult children of alcoholics here? I would love to commiserate. I feel like I can find a way to ruin everything for myself.

>how has being the child of an alcoholic affected you?
>how do you deal with self-isolating and/or approval seeking behaviors?
>how has it affected your intimate relationships (platonic and romantic)?
>do you resonate with any of the aspects of the laundry list? how so?
>have you ever been to an ACoA meeting?
>how (if at all) have you been trying to better your life?
>do you drink/do drugs? how does this affect you?
>do you ever feel like you’re turning into your alcoholic or co-alcoholic parent?
>how do you deal with the need for control/hyper vigilance/lack of self worth/difficulty in interpersonal relationships/any symptom of a dysfunctional childhood? What makes it better? What have been the consequences of it?

Anonymous 115913

I am an alcoholic

Anonymous 115945

Idk if this is for me because my father died when I was 11 so i dont have view about it from older perspective but he was alcoholic and narc so I thought about sharing my perspective too. sorry about my English btw

>how has being the child of an alcoholic affected you?
major depression, underage psych ward, eating disorder, bpd, selfharm, and seeking attencion from older men (or anyone)
>how do you deal with self-isolating and/or approval seeking behaviors?
idk i guess i dont really deal with them, i just act upon them and seek people to care on internet. i also lie lot just to make people feel bad for me and show care and attencion or make fun of myself in the way that some people answer (acting stupid etc, making up situations)
>how has it affected your intimate relationships (platonic and romantic)?
i have no friends and i was very isolated, then i found a guy from imageboard and got extremely attached to him. so i do think i start to like people very easily if they give any attencion or time. i also tend to see people from black and white lens.
>do you resonate with any of the aspects of the laundry list? how so?
yeah, i think most of them fit me very well actually. i havent heard about this before but i looked it up tho
>have you ever been to an ACoA meeting?
i havent
>how (if at all) have you been trying to better your life?
i tried to eat better and excersice. i also started learning chinese (i use 7h about to study this everyday) since im neet, read and keep myself busy. when i was young kid i used to eat very badly, never shower or brush teeth but i try to do those things now as well.
>do you drink/do drugs? how does this affect you?
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 115970

My mom is an alcoholic like most of her family. Honestly I was pretty insulated by my brother, who raised me from birth. Neither of us drink, smoke or take drugs and we both refrain from casual sex because mom's behavior was so repulsive to us. The laundry list describes a lot of his behaviors, but not mine.


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Does Anybody Else Have a High Sex Drive After Work? Anonymous 115629[Reply]

Warning: Sexual Discussion.

I work as a cashier and I see a lot of people. They can be pretty rude to me sometimes. When I get SUPER bored I have a lot of fantasies. A lot of them are pretty aggressive, biting and chocking, you know. But yeah standing around for a bunch of hours just makes me feel so pent up. And it’s not even like I have a partner to help me with it (lmao why would somebody with a partner even be on this site??)
God it’s even worse because there’s this cute coworker I have. He’s got that Jack Quaid prey animal guy energy. And I have to just play it cool, and try to slowly get close to him(icebreaker questions, small talk, you know the drill)

So yeah does anybody else feel aggressive and horny at the end of the shift? Or am I just a little fuck up?
8 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 115669

>>115667
I mean i genuinely believe this to my core. I am not the kind of person to pick on or target weak people, but its no service to yourself to not have claws as a woman. I don't think that means being predatory though. Like you should know how to be for your own good, but actually being predatory is only going to make your life unneccessarily complicated and i get having thoughts like that. I say all this because you mentioned someone being like a prey animal.

I'm not sure what that means

Anonymous 115686

>>115661
maybe it’s a type of compartmentalization. i can’t remember what serial killer i’m thinking of but there was a dude that lived a double life as a killer and a wholesome, normal dude with a family. psychologists explained that he used compartmentalization to deal with the conflicting personalities
>>115668
i think some people just do not understand what consent is in the first place and impose their weird ass kinks onto others.

Anonymous 115961

im very confused about the direction of this thread. OP posted looking for help controlling and lowering her needs and you all replied to her about serial killers and rapists and called her an edgelord. where is the relevance??!

Anonymous 115964

image.png

Yes this happens to me too. I find exercise ( jogging) or finding something else to do immediately after work like playing an intramural sport or walking in the park after work greatly helps in reducing these feelings and desires. I also don’t like to stop and sit at home for too long until its night time and i need to get ready for bed or its unsafe to go out. Sometimes i dont even want to exercise but i take my book outside and sit and read. It is exhausting being single and lonely and having unmet sexual needs but life is short and you might as well distract yourself from the pain of having unremitted sexual thoughts and feelings before you’re no longer here than continue to stew in the pain with unhealthy habits, making the hours and days feel longer. constantly moving from place to place helps you forget a bit about your situation.

Anonymous 115967

Moved to >>>/nsfw/13683.


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Consequences of actions Anonymous 113496[Reply]

So when I was 19 this old man raped me and purposefully gave me a lifelong sti. It’s called ‘gift-giving’ and the most fcked up thing I’ve come across. This man David happens to be a Singaporean billionaire I believe in the hotel business with his sister. What makes this even more sketchy is the fact that he goes by two names I think. Peter and David? Nothing about him on the web. 1 photo. His friend was there and he was staying at the como hotel so pretty sure he’s got something to do with that. Now I’m 27 now and I want fckin justice. It’s actually more than just the rape and sexual assault. It’s the fact that these ultra-wealthy people think that they can just do as they please?! I just messaged him and he is saying that he’s going to sue me for defamation of character lol like I have nothing to sue. He also got off on the fact that I was covered in self harm scars and the fact that my father had raped me whilst growing up. Are men just not the most repulsive species?! I just honestly want no one coming near me ever again I think they are fucking vile the lot of them. Also I can’t be the only girl that this has happened to. He showed me all these girls he was talking to on his phone. I just hate men I can’t explain how vile I find them. So I’m going to report him to the Singapore police department because honestly I’ve had enough of men thinking they can do as they please with no fking consequences. I’m not from Singapore btw I’m from the uk but going to file a report online. These ultra-wealthy people think that they are untouchable it’s a joke. Probs got a whole legal team but I don’t give a shit like bring it bitch
12 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 115418

Also he has like 5 dogs or something insane and was showing me vids of him horse riding. I wish I could go back in time and just have stayed in bed. Meeting this man was my biggest regret. The amount of emotional distress this man has caused me, let alone the physical. I really hope he dies soon so I can be left alone. Funny you say about the parasite thing I’ve had some wild pain in my lower right had side for the longest time. Think you are right about the police I was thinking more TikTok or Twitter, also because I want to find the other girls this has happened too

Anonymous 115449

>>113496
There's gotta be at least pro-bono lawyer who wants to take on a billionaire.

Anonymous 115481

>>113496
There is no justice in this world.
You are right in thinking these kind of people should be punished for their actions, but if you believe the only way to obtain peace is to see his justice served, you'll NEVER be satisfied. Even if he were to die tomorrow, he will keep haunting you.
I advise you let it go. The only true Justice is in Kindom Come. Otherwise you're only setting you up for a lifetime of unresolved resentment.
If you really want to see things change and protect other women from such abuse, you should join a feminist activist movements. This probably won't solve your problem, but you may protect other potential victims like you.

Anonymous 115507

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>>115449
I wish that were the case, but all the expensive lawyers are too busy representing the abuser types

key example Lisa Bloom. She was double teaming between "helping" women and defending Harvey Weinstein. Even female lawyers will bend to rich men's whims for a paycheck.

I'm tired of this fucking world

Anonymous 115948

A lifetime of resentment seems like a rational response to this situation


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Anonymous 115938[Reply]

How do I make a best friend from scratch? I ruined things with my last one, but now I'm trying to improve I feel lonely. It seems everyone already has a best friend

Anonymous 115939

>It seems everyone already has a best friend
Don't focus too much on labels. You can just make friends with people and then going from there you'll see if the both of you get really close or not. You can't really pick and choose someone who'll then be your best friend, it doesn't work that way. This allows you to be friends with groups of multiple people as well - you don't need to single out a specific one to have a 'higher tier friendship' with.

Anonymous 115947

>>115939
Thanks anon, this really changed my perspective


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Anonymous 115451[Reply]

i am obsessed with my bf, just looking at him brings very much joy. but here is the issue, i am very depending on him, cant do much on my own and my mood changes based on his mood. im clingy, overly hugging/kissing. idk i just fear that he losses intrest in me and thrn im alone. he is my first kiss and sex so it would be very damaging mentally if he left or so. he swears he doesn't but still i think of this. since we statted dating we have spend almost 24/7 with each others.

Anonymous 115452

>>115451
For some relationships a dynamic like this works out, but it's not healthy. You should have hobbies and interests you can keep yourself busy with alone. There's so much you can do in life, you could make great things just by dedicating yourself to a meaningful hobby. But it doesn't even have to be something with a deeper meaning really, just have something that gives you joy outside of the relationship. Also make sure to still spend time with friends and family if you have the possibility.
You don't have to drastically reduce the time you're spending with him for now (or at all if you don't want to), just make sure that whenever you are on your own you'll have something you can do, something that brings you joy. Or maybe you can even pick up a hobby that involves crafting something and you can make stuff for him? Just make sure you're not an empty shell of a human being without him.
Maybe work on why you don't want to be alone too. And be careful, you're giving him a lot of power over you but I assume you already know that and if that's what works out for you I'm not going to tell you to stop. Take care nona.

Anonymous 115691

Same. I don’t think it’s a bad thing though as long as he’s as loyal and committed as you are. Not sure what I would do if my boyfriend left me. Probably fall apart lmao

Anonymous 115820

>>115691
It‘s not bad until things go wrong. But I haven’t found a solution for it either

Anonymous 115946

If he's your first and you feel this way about him, try to keep him. The first one always has the potential to be something special. Just make sure that he truly loves you too and isn't just taking advantage.

Anonymous 115952

Why is this so relatable..
I think I’d just stay alone forever if my moid ever left but he’s not even usually nice to me.


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Anonymous 115931[Reply]

Nonas, I need to change things. My room's a mess, I got fired from my cafe job, I haven't been to the gym in weeks, I didn't register for classes this semester bc I'm broke, and I don't really see my friends anymore. I started drinking again and I've been boredom eating. And even though I'm always on my damn phone, I'm terrible at texting people back. I'm ghosting my therapist. I feel like everything really went downhill for me after I got dumped in June (he was with me just long enough to take my virginity, which was pretty unpleasant, and I was dumb enough to fall in love with him before he switched up). I feel like I don't have much of an identity right now and I always feel and look out of place. I know I can change all these things. I can clean my room, find a new job, get back in the gym and get my diet in order, stop drinking… I know I can fix This but I'll have to do it in stages. Any advice on getting out of the funk is welcome <3

Anonymous 116203

>get pumped and dumped
>life goes downhill
This is why waiting until marriage is advantageous.


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Anonymous 115783[Reply]

I stopped taking my meds
4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 115788

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>Day 4
I regret my decision

Anonymous 115789

>>115788
What were you on? I was okay. I was on Depakote, Risperidone, and some other type of drug, I forget what it was.

Anonymous 115790

>>115788
I've done the same thing before. I think "I'm sick of taking these meds I don't want to be dependent on them anymore!!!" then the nightmares start

Anonymous 115898

I haven't been taking my meds for over 2 months, honestly I've never felt a difference even with the higher dosage. But I'll try to get back on them again since I'm going back to uni. But I want a new physiatrist cause she refuses to evaluate me for ADHD.

Anonymous 115901

IMG_9129.jpeg

>>115790
exactly you THINK things are going great but that's just the illusion being off the meds while everyone else in your life severs contact with you cuz you're acting like you're in your amanda bynes britney era


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Anonymous 115884[Reply]

Was just doing my usual Saturday night routine (reflecting on all my past relationships, wondering why I feel so disconnected from other people and praying for some kind of breakthrough) and I finally got somewhere. I think I’m crazy. I think I’m delusional, and not “girlie in her dululu era” delusional but “I can’t tell imagination from reality” delusional. I think I’m the problem. And that really, really, really, really sucks

I have so much love to give. Now I’m beginning to see why nobody ever wanted it. I wish I was a man. Nobody likes a crazy woman. Even other women despise crazy women, while crazy men are somewhat revered. I just want to be loved

Anonymous 115890

bigeyeskittyissort…

>>115884
Maybe you should try to live more in the present, turn of your computer, and touch some grass? Also, I feel this whole overthinking every Saturday thing isn't working out too well for ya, but you do you. I'm sure that well adjusted people also believe themselves crazy before going to bed. (Kinda sorry for assuming too much and being mean, but I hope the message comes across.)

Anonymous 115891

>>115890
i am facing similar thoughts and i think i need to work on a project

Anonymous 115892

>>115884
Overthinking isn’t great for you, try to remain calm and be proud of yourself. Whatever problems you have, you will get through them


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How are you? Anonymous 115855[Reply]

Everything will be ok.
1 post and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 115858

im hungry. i want to take the bus and go to the library tomorrow. or maybe today. the problem is the bus only comes much later in the afternoon. i cant help but feel suffocated in my house. its hot, my parents left, and i dont want to be stinky and gross by being melted to my bed all day.
so maybe i will go to the library, i dunno.

Anonymous 115862

cutterculture3.png

Tired of stifling everything I say.
My voice deserves to be heard.
What I said doesn't deserve to be taken down.
I worked hard.
I wasn't crazy.
My words meant something, they spoke of an ill nobody will speak on, and that's why you hate them.
Whether you tear down my walls of text or not, whether you censor me or not, whether or not you succeed or fail, it won't bring you peace.
And my blood is still proverbially on your hands.

Anonymous 115867

very sad because somehow whenever i have a male friend they manage to act weird, confuse me emotionally and then put me on the backburner when friends are supposed to support eachother not hurt eachother,, sick of being treated as weird by women when all i try to do is make them happy like what happened to girls sticking with girls

Anonymous 115869

>>115862
>>115856
>>115867
Men are just filth plain and simple. It doesn't matter to me that some are nice because they're also just disgusting and oblivious and presume you should want anything to do with them in their easy going obliviousness. It doesn't matter how fucking nice they are i want to stab all of their eyes out with icepicks.

Anonymous 115873

IMG_6854.jpeg

>>115869
true but sometimes we also have to hold accountable the women who are willing to throw other women under the bus protecting abusive moids


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