>>106021Honestly? Narcissism. Don't blame yourself, everything is pushing you towards it, it is a societal/civilizational issue. The Big Lie is that we are all individuals, lonely islands of desire, ideas, personality - it makes for better consumers.
The reality is that we are social animals, we never lived alone up until recently, we used to rely on each other for almost everything. That lie is the cause of the current mental health crisis because there is no such thing as a sole individual but we keep pretending it's true.
You think you are the issue, and you believe you'll find the solution inside of yourself, if only you had the energy/discipline whatever. The reality is that the answer is outside of you; your relationship to the world and yourself is fucked and you need to unfuck it. It starts with letting go of your main thought: yourself, even if it's only for an hour or two a week.
'Fake it til you make it' is your only way out of this, so go past the uneasiness, and volunteer, help your mother etc. because you need to be in any kind of relationship with another human, and being of service is what will get your head out of your ass.
