I just hate the sun. Whenever it's daylight outside I can feel every second of my life tik-tok-tik away. Slowly. Like nails scraping away at a rusted board.
I genuinely feel uncomfortable during the daytime. Every day. All my life. It usually isn't so bad as to interfere with my daily life, but it's still uncomfortable. Particularly during sunsets, I get this horrible feeling of impending doom. I cannot properly describe it, it is like a terror you can see from a distance. Far enough yet not to panick but close enough to want to do something about it. Except nothing ever comes.
But this feeling always goes away during the night. It doesn't matter what time it is during the day. When the sun is out, I feel stress 10x worse. I can (by thumb) measure the time that has passed since I started studyin, the time left for me to finish the assignement, if I am at home it makes me feel bad for missing out on some fun, if I am outside it just makes me feel annoyed somehow. But at night I feel at peace.
In a weird way, I feel like this song captures this feeling fairly well, I listen to it almost every day since I found it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo29PoLkoOM&tSorry for the weird post, I just needed to vent my feelings once. Feel free to reply with whatever and feel free not to. Not like I want any type of advice or consoling.
