I feel like such a bitter loser. I went to Ikea last weekend to pick up a skillet and got there when it was full of happy younger couples picking out kitchenware, holding hands and shit. I just felt depressed for the rest of the day.

i’ve become pretty annoyed lately with how emotionally manipulative modern politics is. i generally wish there were forms of political content that were more academic, evidence-based, and did not resort to emotional manipulation. beyond politics, i’ve become aware of how emotional coercion is used in everyday conversation, both by myself, and other people.

there’s this trend of people ragebaiting others that, for a while, got on my nerves. i never really understood the point of spreading pointless conflict. but recently i realized that i myself tend to weaponize shame when others views did not align with my own moral values. the more i thought about it, the more i realized how this was produced out of my own desire to control others out of the belief it would protect my own interests. it was selfish in that sense and only really led to my own unhappiness. at the end of the day you can never really control other people’s thoughts and behaviors, and even if you could, that’s not really “them” so much as a reflection of your own authoritarian impulses.

i feel a rough rule for discerning between people who do respect your emotional autonomy and who don't is as follows: if you enter a conversation with a person emotionally stable, and leave it feeling ashamed, exhausted, pulled into conflict that didn’t initially involve you, or angry, especially in the form that leads you to feeling mobilized against others—all without progressing your views in some way that is productive—you are likely dealing with someone who is being emotionally coercive / is not respecting your emotional autonomy.

i generally feel like the world would be better if everyone just put a bit more effort into controlling impulses to emotionally manipulate. again, you can’t control others, but you can find people who get it and don’t resort to these tactics.

>>129542
also

grey rocking helps a lot with ignoring emotionally manipulative people

>Grew up ugly
>Got kind of pretty as an adult
>Still fat but like most people don’t notice cause I’m attractive
>Have the personality of a chudette
Im literally cooked because Ima gooner loser with no social skills

A guy I was crushing last year now started to show interest in me and Im ok with it but I'm not doing anything about it. Sure is fun seeing him try, not being subtle at all how he does things that clearly say "I want you to see me". He's an actor and he's probably addicted to attention, also I think he's in a relationship but I haven't confirmed yet. I'm not doing anything about it because I definitely value my mental health more that I did back then. I'm proud of that

Being an ugly girl is like being dead but you still have to feed yourself and pay taxes.

>>129432
men who fuck you like that literally wouldn’t care if you died in front of them

>>129481
true as fuck
>>129429
Yeah ive noticed this too, People are blatantly rude to you when youre an ugly woman. Especially men. They are literally violent as fuck like gorillas. I hate them and im scared of them. Also nona, the guy youre with sounds like a total pos please have a back up plan in case you have to leave him

>>129555
shyt sorry I meant to reply to >>129538

I feel like if you are below average and manage to bag a guy, it's still not worth it. He would treat you as a fleshlight at best, not romance to speak of.
Guys would court beautiful women only because they know their worth and are not easy, so that's where eleborate dates, flowers, sweet talks etc come from. As for beautiful women who don't get princess treatment… Girl, love yourself, you deserve better.
Anyway, going back to us uglies. We wouldn't get any courtship or respect because for guys, it's just not worth the effort and reserved only to pretty women, and even then guys will try to be cheap.
Do you want a relationship with a lazy slob who will get you on a single coffee date once and then just crush at your place for drunk sex while never showing you affection? Yes or no? Because that's all you'll get.
I know it because I was desperate enough to try having a relationship and it was the best I was able to get.
If it's okay to you and you have no self-respect, be my guest, go on and date.
But if you are an ugly women without a profound mental illness, please don't try dating, you will be treated worse than your partenered peers, you will compare yourself to other girls who get flowers and gifts, and you will hate yourself even more.

>>129404
why are you worried about hurting the feelings of some moid who’s acting like a whiny entitled retard. just stop messaging him and befriend a girl. men aren’t your friends

>>129404
>Moid friends
Are you that naive? Maybe its an ego boost talking to a guy thats desperate to have sex with you but thats as far as the friendship will ever go.

This guy is whiny and entitled, nothing positive will come from talking with him. Ignore and dont reply

How did it go, OP?
I'm late but if I recieved that text and did still want to be friends, I'd say something like "there's nothing wrong with a chilled out friendship, don't assume anything less than total intensity means the other person secretly wants to ghost you. if i didn't want to [go to the thing]" I would have just cancelled it directly."
and if I did not want to be friends I would say
"lmao, if that's how you respond when I don't talk to you for a few hours then now I don't want to."

i long to know the solved cipher it sounds fun

1 ed 67 3 pm 67 69 420

>>129549
Just a basic ass substitution cipher with each letter corresponding to only one punctuation mark or special character. Which is not secure at all because any random moron (like me) can figure it out, the only difficulty is it's full of typos. E is a divided sign, T is a forward slash, etc. It's still divided by spaces which makes common words extra recognizable.

>>129553
wait you’re so cool that sounds so hard. where did you see this or can you not reveal it here

>>129557
It's just the reddit account of someone I know personally. If you've ever had a reddit account and value your privacy, you should send an archive removal request to arctic shift ASAP.

I also always wanted an obsessive bf but after self-reflection i realizedit's because of insecurity and a need for constant ego boosts. Growiing up with not enough attention and care from my parents makes me feel like if someone isn't unhealthily obsessive with me/not love bombing me means it's not love

>>129533
Napoleon usually wrote his letters while doing two or even three things at the same time. might have been geopolitic or diplomacy, or managing a network of spies. I wonder what else he did when writing this one.


>>129534
You do not want somebody who if fighting Austria half of the time as a BF.

>>129534
ye I think I have this issue too. It definitely comes from insecurity and trust issues. but I still want tbh, I want a bf that will love bomb me permentantly and forever since my parents didn't care about me that much as a child
>>129535
thank you for this fun fact. every time I read about hem I fall more and more in love heehe dkdjdjh. He is my favorite husbando at this moment im thinking of buying a body pillow of him to hump lul

It's like any addiction. You start when you are young and dumb.

I didn't have a whole lot of casual sex but I've had a fuckbuddy or two before. I have an avoidant/anxious attachment style, hell, it's taking me a while to actually feel something for the moid I'm with. I always have walls and barriers up because I know I'm going to be left behind and I don't want to get hurt.

I have casual sex because I like sex. I don't like emotions. If you can't have sex with catching feelings, then casual sex isn't for you. That's fine.

>>129537
If you like sex, casual sex isnt for you. You need to get to know each others bodies first, likes and dislikes etc.

I have personal circumstances that prevent me from being able to have a long term relationship but I still want affection. Its not the healthiest but I can squash my feelings easily because I remind myself of the circumstances I’m in and other things that make me unworthy of a relationship. I also don’t have friends and only really interact with people for sex yet I’ve met interesting people this way.

Sex is YOU conqquering HIM - absorbing, engulfing, stealing his power

Tie him to the bed and blindfold him.
Now you can do what you want without any pressure. No female role, only your own desires at your own speed. You don't even need penetration.


>>129203
>And surely a guy who goes down on you is acknowledging your dominance and practically worshipping you
Make him deserve you. He show some devotion or he won't feel you.

>>129522
You don't need to be raped to do that, and you won't be getting money unless you extort him out of court.

>>126444
OP, if you are still here I think I can understand.

What you should do is to speak to your BF because you will get over it together or not at all.
Make him understand your problem and try to solve it, if for no other reason because otherwise he will stay dry.

The solution I propose is to have him be the receiving end. There is no need for penetration, play with him and tell him what to do.

If that is not reasuring enough, have him sexualized while you are not. Make him be naked for a full weekend, make him tell you how he value you as a person while you call him a walking dildo. This sort of thing will reasure you that you are not his lesser and that sex is neither humiliating nor submisive.

>>129539
You don't know blackpill-chan? She absolutely does not have a boyfriend kek.

Femininity is lame, so you're doing something right.
Anyway, connection and closeness is not something so mystical and wonderful. I think if you got what you wanted you'd realise it's just "okay" and you'd be just as fine on your own.

i love you, internet stranger

im really wishing the best for you anon, i have been struggling with deep insecurities for years. all i can say is you have to try getting on the path to healing, it will take time but it will be worth it in the long run. please take care hugs

i struggled with this exact thing nona, and while it can come from a wide variety of places, what is important is understanding that there isn't necessarily one right way to be a woman. for a woman who isn't traditionally feminine like myself, it can feel like there's no place for you. this isn't true. the world is big and you are you, and that is exciting! there's a place for every kind of woman, and being patient with yourself while finding female friends will help open your eyes to this. it will get easier, i promise. take care

my witch fren made an altar for me this full moon. not sure if it worked (or is working) or not but it's nice.

nona you should hire me

No, we have witches at home

No. Magic isn't real.