still not me writing that.

i talk to people all day or as much as i can take on some parts of my cycle when i’m too tired. sometimes it’s too much. no one knows me. no one knows close to everything. i’ve gotten really good at running away. i could go months with no phone just interacting with strangers in local places and walking away afterwards. if i were even asocial i wouldn’t be so needy. i wish i were. i need people. i don’t know to need people. i don’t know if i could ever let anyone actually touch me or love me. i don’t think i could tell anyone i actually know anything ever again. it’s not that i don’t want it. it’s that every time i’ve had that they punished me so fucking bad for it. i won’t do it again. i can’t rebuild myself again. it took years to feel like i was inside of my body again. it took years to feel i had any connection at all to me as a child. do you even know how that feels? i don’t have bpd i’m never empty im always full of something. only once in my life has my personality and my brain and my everything disappeared entirely. now i’m the same person again. i just have to stare at a break between two beaches where everything that i was and am was flooded over and washed out by the men i loved. i don’t know that i can ever cross but sometimes she sends me messages in bottles. i’ll float her back pictures of the space we have to ourselves now. i see her face crumple and i see her try not to resent me when she has to turn around and go back inside and the shackles are still on her. knowing us, she doesn’t understand why i can’t save her from them myself. i cant cry the way i want to because i won’t understand what i’ve done to her until i can actually hear. there’s fog that rolls off the sea and sometimes i understand things and sometimes i don’t. sometimes on a clear day she’s not on the other beach. this is five years of grueling progress.

something really bad is happening to me and it’s different than the other bad things that have happened to me mentally and i don’t know how to tell anyone.

>>125960
come on nona, I need more details.

>>125967
Sounds like a haunting to me

I never get seen for who I am. Even when most normal people try to communicate with me, it feels like they're trying to talk to a caricature of myself. Don't know why that is. It's ironic - some "nice" people will feel cruel to me no matter how nice they will try to be, because they constructed and romanticized a fantasy in their head and I'm just a prop for them.

Even if someone tries to understand me in earnest they will usually just say they don't get what I'm talking about.

I guess I just want to be understood. I know it's not impossible but people who are capable of that are rare. It makes me lonely, a bit.

It’s 11pm and I have to be up in like 3 hours for my stupid job. I’m scared that my coworker got me sick since she’s sick and I’ve been forced to work with her fucking ass the past 2 days. My throat is starting to feel funny and I can’t tell if it’s just all in my head or if I’m actually getting sick. I just started this job and can’t just call off

I just want someone to tell me I did a good job today. That all my efforts aren't in vain. That they see me trying to improve. That I'm appreciated.

Oh god this bitch is about to inundate me with calls. Cripes, I just want to be left alone.

>>125956
This is such a non issue lol. If being pretty is so tiresome go back to being a fat slob.

>>125959
Yes, that's why I said "I can't complain"
I'm not unhappy, just thinking about how strange it is

>>125959
Yes, that's why I said "I can't complain"
I'm not unhappy, just thinking about how strange it is

>>125962
why do you keep double-posting nona?

>>125963
I don't know why it's happening, I think it's something with my computer

>>125672
I like the days where that doesn’t happen to me.

A friend asked me to make a website so thats what Im gonna do now since Im still unemployed

>>125667
I was really depressed when I was a NEET as well.
Watching Osomatsu-san made me feel a little bit better but also worse in a way too.
Do you have hobbies? Any plans on not being a NEET anymore? What's keeping you from pursuing a career and education? Depression? I hope you're seeing a therapist about it… My depression was largely situational, and improving my immediate environment and finding a way to advance my education for the sake of my future career helped me immensely. It's not any special job or anything, but I've found that doing anything is usually better than doing nothing and learning things is actually pretty fun.

>>125900
>Watching Osomatsu-san made me feel a little bit better but also worse in a way too.
for me, it's Juushimatsu.

you have to MOVE
your body produces endorphins when it moves around, especially when exercising

you should have a ritual to kickstart to your day
tell yourself that you can play your games after your morning ritual AND breakfast (which includes washing the dishes)
you'll have to wash them anyway so what difference does it make ? if you get rid of your chores first, your fun won't be spoiled by the worry of having to do them

>tiktok
soulless slop
>r*ddit
no comment
tbh i find trooncord less cancerous, i have a few servers that i only use to scroll the meme channels and mute the rest

>>125187
The only person I interact with every day is my husband. So he comes up a lot the few times I have conversations with others. Maybe normies are the same.

>>125189
Yeah it makes sense, don't worry about it

The oppression olympics loops moids go through regarding anything they deem women as incapable of feeling or experiencing. They truly believe that women cannot truly struggle and if they did it's not as bad. They'll bring up suicide rates while simultaneously invalidating every woman out there, as if suicide rates for women were nonexistent. Time and time again I've observed this same pattern
Most incels would've been utter normalfags if it weren't for their appearance so I guess it all makes sense

>>124862
I also don't get how so many people marathon crime shows or put them on as background noise.

>>125949
moids are pretty good at reality denial in general

>Particularly in class rooms and in the professional setting, women are PERCEIVED to speak more than they actually do. If women speak more than 30% of the total conversation, it is PERCEIVED as monopolizing the conversation.

This image makes me so sad ik it's probably AI but it makes me so unreasonably sad

>>125947
why are you so angry
>>125948
he brought it upon himself sadly

>>125912
I truly wish I was lesbian.

I've had a few sapphic attractions but I'd be hesitant to approach lesbians worried of not being lesbian enough. I've not had any experiences with female relationships, only male. None of the males were ugly just … I guess I wasn't attracted to their personalities and i was too obsessed with work at the time.

Yes I do need to find men attractive. Its central to everything. The only thing that matters otherwise deals off. Their personalities matter to. But being an attractive woman with someone I'm not attracted to seems completely out of balance and and like male-brain garbage to me

>>125935
>I've had a few sapphic attractions
Go for it
>worried of not being lesbian enough
In what way? I'm on the aromantic and asexual spectrum, so I used to be worried about that in general, until I figured that I just need to be honest about my feelings before entering a relationship. I'd prefer a relationship without sex, it doesn't mean I love my partner less, just differently.
>being an attractive woman with someone I'm not attracted to seems completely out of balance
Yeah, ofc. Sorry, I misworded what I meant.
>You don't need to find men attractive
I meant that as in, you don't need to date men at all if you don't like them for whatever reason.
>lesbian, aroace
You can't actually just change your sexuality ofc, but you could check if you're really heterosexual and not comphet. And if you are somewhat bi, you could date women and even if you are only attracted to men, you still don't need to date them. 4b is all about not giving men that kind of attention regardless of attraction.
>Outraged that I'm supposed to find most scrotes attractive
Are you really "supposed" to? You can't really choose your sexuality, if you're not that attracted to people, you don't need to force yourself. But if you are attracted to men naturally, that's unfortunate, given your view of them.

>>125936
>Are you really "supposed" to
Well, yes, I guess women are expected to be heterosexual. I tried to force myself to be attracted to random boys at school just to fit in when I was asked about crushes, it was to the point that even I started to believe it. Until a boy asked me out and I had to face reality. I just didn't want to date at all and if I got to pick, I'd actually prefer my girl friends as girlfriends, but also not in a sexual way. It took me so long to figure out my actual preferences because I was preoccupied with what and how I'm "supposed" to be attracted to people.

>>125937
>I just didn't want to date at all and if I got to pick, I'd actually prefer my girl friends as girlfriends, but also not in a sexual way

Thats just means you are not ready for dating. I mean thats perfectly normal, not everybody needs to date and if you go out to date, either men or women, when all you want it seems to be to chill with your friends, you are actually forcing yourself to end up in uncomfortable situations.

>>125938
Yeah, I felt that way until I had an actual crush at 20.
Made me feel very out of place since all of my friends were dating or at the very least interested in it, like 10 years earlier than me. I'm almost 30 now and I noticed that I only really get crushes on people I've been friends with for like at least 3 years. More romantically than sexual though, so I'd say I'm demiromantic asexual since that's what that describes. I don't feel abnormal about it anymore, it's just how I am ig. I do wish I'd figured out that this kind of asexuality is normal earlier though, because I did force myself into some uncomfortable situations in my late teens… Especially after reading about how totally effective arranged marriages are, that feelings will just develop if you force yourself to be with someone of the opposite gender (because "men and women can't be friends, they'll date" or sth) or that women aren't truly interested in sex anyway but they have it because they care so much about their bfs and just trying out sex will make me like and crave it anyway and all that garbage. (One of my friends really did crave sex and I thought, "sex must be so good, I'll feel just like her after I do it, I just gotta bring myself to do it"). I'm glad I didn't take it too far in the end though, my partner never pressured me or anything although I did feel immense guilt when I didn't just fall in love and want sex after doing very uncomfortable kissing and stuff. (I even tried to work myself up to it by fantasising and thinking of him when masturbating, but it didn't really change anything). Wasn't great for either of us but I'm glad that it didn't go as far as it could've gone. I should've taken it easy back then and just focused on my friends instead of trying to force something I wasn't feeling, but whenever I told people I didn't have a crush nor type, they straight up didn't believe me and accused me of lying and stuff, kinda sucked…