its exam period and it's getting too much for me. The past week I have been studying math for 5 hours every day. Taking one past exam which is three hours, correcting it which takes an hour, and doing weak topics or reviewing formulas for the last hour. The problem is I still fucking suck. Tomorrow is my exam. My average is at 52% and I'm really scared I won't pass. All that time spent for nothing. The past exams I did ranged from 51-79%,, but these last days have been horrible. Yesterday I did an exam and got 37% and today I made another one but didn't finish it because it was actually hurting my soul. I don't know what to do. I can't do more. I have another subject tomorrow too in the morning so I am scared my concentration will already be dwindling. Sometimes I get stuff wrong because I don't have the insight and it's so frustrating because then I watch a video explaining and it's so simple I could literally do it. But I have been making LOTS of mistakes on literally just, forgetting to put a minus here or ssometimes misreading my own previous work. It's so frustrating. I need to be extremely precise tomorrow but I am just scared. My heart hurts. I can't do more. My parents know I have been studying hard and think that my efforts will pay off but I doubt it. It will be mediocre at best… if I fail I might genuinely have to kill myself. Want to kill myself right now already. I don't feel like I am getting better. In the beginning I could see improvement between my first few exams and now I've plateaued. I think it's because I understand the material but I keep making fucking stupid careless errors. And my approach may be systematic and flawless but then I see I made a mistake with subtracting two functions from eachother which fucks up the rest and it makes me crash out. I pray tomorrow I will have the clarity to not make such mistakes- but I have been trying every day as if it were a real exam to no avail. Just sucks. My heart breaks. I don't know how to get my grade up and frankly I can't be too bothered anymore. I want it but I just, can't. But I do care actually. Kill me.

I also have another subject in the morning which is very learn heavy. The last few weeks every day I have been revising and revising and revising the material. I know pretty much every detail by heart. I think a 100% is easily in reach for me I just need to work on formulating my answers. I know I should practice by taking past exams but I just can't seem to do anythiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I'm bullied by coworkers. I love the job, and I need it to survive, but these people make me want to die.They know it bothers me too and wont stop.
Apparently in America no one cares if someone is harassing you at work if it doesn't involve race, gender, age, religion

It's so obvious he's losing interest in me, he only tells me he misses me at night and he is way more less affectionate than before and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've dropped all my studies and hobbies just to focus on doing things that will impress him or to engage and look into his interests, if he doesn't start loving me more I don't know what I'll do

>>130304
i'm sorry you are going through that. it sounds very painful. sending love your way internet stranger

>>130302
same feels bad

I'm a NEET and I currently larp like I'm attending a uni studying certain subjects. Meaning, I just study something on a schedule for 1.5 hours with breaks inbetween and sometimes I try to plan what I will do. So far it made me feel better because I accomplish something every day.
Really a lot of these "subjects" are just my hobbies, but structured. Structure improves everything A LOT, it's way easier to manage your existing activities and introduce changes into your life this way. Always having planned downtime is good too.
I'll see how long this lasts.

>What do you do all day?
eat, jog, smoke cigarettes, read books (no young adult or "dark romance" slop), draw pictures, I mostly just draw pictures. My whole life Ive been creating characters and stories with them nonstop, its that maladaptive daydreaming bullshit I guess. I draw my characters, when Im bored of it Ill make collages for my characters, and when that gets boring too Ill write about them, listen to music that reminds me of them, or just simply fantasize about their interactions and their world. My creaions are the only topic that I am truly invested in and if I could I only would ever talk about them, but thats autistic as fuck and I am self aware enough to know that most people dont give a fuck. Most conversations with others feel like a drag, I dont care about their lives or problems and Im just looking for an appropriate moment to talk about my art

>>130355
>smoke cigarettes
I didn't like reading this. Please stop smoking

>>130357
>Please stop smoking
i dont have any logical reasons to stop. it brings me pleasure and i dont plan being on this earth for too long ill probbaly kill myself before im able to get lung cancer or lifethreathening cardiovascular complications

>>130358
Don't care. Stop it or I'll get mad.

strawman^strawman type thread

>>129689
men will never give up porn. no matter which moid u get they will always want porn so if youre not ok with it you will never have a moid.

Go to therapy?
Porn addiction is an addiction, you can't stop it by wishful thinking and just saying "no stop that".
Think of it like training a dog, if a dog shits on your carpet or steal food from the kitchen you can yell all you want or even be abusive to the dog… but that's not how you make the dog stop, it needs conditioning and training.
Just talk with him, make him admit he has a problem and look for practical ways to end this addiction, maybe through therapy, taking part in some programs, joining some groups and whatever, he'll be extremely embarrassed but accountability can help dealing with this shit by using this embarrassment as a way to stop doing it.

The real question is if you actually love him or not, because dealing with an addict of any kind is an ordeal.

>>130011
porn addiction is not considered a real addiction medically speaking. it's not in any real diagnostic manual because what porn consumption is considered "healthy" is extremely subjective. A behavioral approach is sometimes taken if its really, really severe and the person in question sees it as a problem/is bringing them distress. OP can have whatever boundary they wish to set but a therapist isn't going to treat them for paying for a few OF accounts and having a porn twitter like its a serious problem unless they're a wacko fake christian therapist. sorry. if their boyfriend doesn't see it as a problem, which he almost certainly doesn't, it just won't be treated as one. i know people on here are extremely antiporn, but moral opinions aside, at the end of the day it's just not the same as being a crackhead lbr and won't be treated as such.

regardless i think OP should leave because they're bf is fucking bald and ugly. hello???

He doesn't deserve you. Leave him before you cheat on him or he cheats on you.
Or worse, he asks you to do something he saw in porn

For me I was just constantly confused, unhappy, and lonely. My youth was a rather unfortunate time of my life, I am much happier now.

always feeling different to other children, people constantly misunderstanding me, my emotional needs rarely being met and feeling so out of place and alienated.

>>129481
true as fuck
>>129429
Yeah ive noticed this too, People are blatantly rude to you when youre an ugly woman. Especially men. They are literally violent as fuck like gorillas. I hate them and im scared of them. Also nona, the guy youre with sounds like a total pos please have a back up plan in case you have to leave him

>>129555
shit sorry I meant to reply to >>129538

I feel like if you are below average and manage to bag a guy, it's still not worth it. He would treat you as a fleshlight at best, not romance to speak of.
Guys would court beautiful women only because they know their worth and are not easy, so that's where eleborate dates, flowers, sweet talks etc come from. As for beautiful women who don't get princess treatment… Girl, love yourself, you deserve better.
Anyway, going back to us uglies. We wouldn't get any courtship or respect because for guys, it's just not worth the effort and reserved only to pretty women, and even then guys will try to be cheap.
Do you want a relationship with a lazy slob who will get you on a single coffee date once and then just crush at your place for drunk sex while never showing you affection? Yes or no? Because that's all you'll get.
I know it because I was desperate enough to try having a relationship and it was the best I was able to get.
If it's okay to you and you have no self-respect, be my guest, go on and date.
But if you are an ugly women without a profound mental illness, please don't try dating, you will be treated worse than your partenered peers, you will compare yourself to other girls who get flowers and gifts, and you will hate yourself even more.

>>129429
what the hell is this and the nonchalant replies

I remember I was trying to mess around in Danmakufu. Like shaders, you also have to use math here a lot.

Here's an old video of mine.

>SELECT shit FROM code WHERE software = vichan
cool seething rant from someone who maintained gurochan (which runs on vichan, like CC)

I have an rss feed now too just like all the cool kids
Needs some improvement though

>>130328
I mostly did that cuz I am sure a certain someone else on this site has an rss feed for discord. I don’t want to fall behind them technologically.

I do check cc manually too much also

no, because using people is not bad.

Found this about wrong turns and I wanted to share

https://spiritualherbals.com/post.php?title=when-nothing-in-your-life-is-moving-forward-the-spiritual-blockage-many-people-ignore

Love spells
Read about it and found out it was the best option
It worked
https://spiritualherbals.com/post.php?title=why-a-personal-spell-is-different-from-ordinary-rituals

No you're not bad, but be open about your true feelings towards him. Be honest since he is definitely putting so much of himself into this and has been good, he deserves the truth even though it will hurt. Leading him on is only pushing this conversation down the road and going to make it more difficult to separate. If hes still cool with doing all this for you despite your feelings, then thats on him. It will suck because its nice getting treated well, but he seems like a guy with a great heart and deserves to be with someone who is crazy about him. As well as you deservd to be with someone who will make yoh happy.

like salty bags of coins, milk and sand or something

OP are you abstinent by choice or not because you look great and I'm sure lots of guys and even other women would date you

Terrible and wonderful, depending on who you end up dating. Guys are either total moron apes with no sense of class, or absolute gentlemen but those are rare. I broke up wjth my long term gf of a couple years a few months ago and started dating. I got some matches on tinder and went on a couple dates, one of the guys was a complete fuckboy but i wanted to try out guys. He didnt hold doors, asked to pay half of the bill, drove a beat up old car, and was very insistent on going with him to an underground dj set that night. I left early and unmatched him. On the other side, i found an amazing guy that i wasnt too crazy about looks wise but we had so much in common,like playing same games and have similar hobbies, we clicked very quickly. He's polite, likes my jokes and goofy demeanor, holds doors open for me, and takes me out on cute dates all the time. I return the favor by cooking him delicious home made food he can reheat after he comes home from work over the course of the week.

The key is to not just look for attraction, but find a companion that will be your best friend and who you can rely on. Dating shitty guys feels like a waste of time and is unfulfilling, maybe you might get some action but its kinda hollow and tbh I get off better by myself. Try stuff out, get out of your comfort zone, and trust your gut.

Btw im 31 myself

>>130265
it was the best experience of my life, albeit that's because she was the most amazing, wonderful person ever.
but being single is enjoyable too

>>130299
its not actually op its catfish