Vent Thread Anonymous 125413[Reply]
I don't even know what number we're on
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>>>/feels/120288Anonymous 129633
I hate people who are condescending in a cheerful and friendly way. It shrivels my soul.
Anonymous 129635
I see a therapist and she’s very nice and understanding. I’ve never been really into therapy much (only started to go into it about a year ago). Even now, I don’t really buy into it. I don’t think it does much for someone unless they truly want help and I think it only really helps people who suffer from things like PTSD. But I can’t get over how I think she must be annoyed by me or put off especially when I pull my weird “poor attempt at larping as a normal person” bullshit once I get uncomfortable in any capacity. It’s weird because she was just telling me that I’m a very nice and pleasant person to speak with, but it’s like there’s this voice in my head that tells me otherwise when I notice that I’m being slightly awkward, and my perspective immediately goes 180. I think I might have this weird form of autism where I’m like overly neurotic and have to walk on eggshells when talking to every single person or else they can see how weird fucked up and awkward I am. But it just makes me behave even more strangely ironically. It’s like the opposite of autists who are socially unaware and can come across as rude and too blunt. I also do this shit where I’ll just say words for the sake of saying it just to fill in the awkward silence when talking to others. I had to embellish details in my life or else I wouldn’t have had anything to say to my therapist during our 40 minute session. I’ve basically done this in every social interaction I’ve ever had in my life. It’s the equivalent of trying to hit the word limit on a school assignment. I can’t just be fine being myself and not having anything to say, I must always have something to say or else the social situation becomes too much for me to bear. This probably makes people perceive me as either someone who’s talkative and ditsy, or as someone with some kind of mental disability. I feel like I’m in this never ending negative thought loop. I wish I could have somebody in my life where an awkward silence between us wouldn’t be considered awkward, and where I wouldn’t have to put on this front of pretending to be something I’m really not. I just want to be comfortable with the silences that happen and not having anything to say all the time, while still enjoying their company.
Anonymous 129661
>>129635the solution to this is basically just to resign yourself to the idea that people can and often will see you as awkward or stupid or whatever. it's much more effective than trying to dissuade yourself from the fear that people are judging you, and more effective than trying to learn to be more cool.
that goes whether they really are or are not in reality.
Anonymous 129662
He is angry! Poor little fella, he almost killed me and his child by driving so badly but his feelings are hurt! so sad
